pissedoffenby

[pissedoffenby]

Recently I was with my one of my partners and I remembered a story from around the time of the 2016 RNC that would've been an amazing addition to my first story from a few months ago.

Let me set the scene.

This was the literal day after the RNC voted to nominate Trump as their candidate for the presidency, and let's just say that the young Republicans and young Democrats were gathered getting ready for the club session ahead when I heard rumblings of the more moderate Republicans in the room freaking out that no one listened to anyone at the RNC begging them not to vote for Trump. As they were freaking out I couldn't stand to listen to it anymore and asked to have the floor.

After I reached my podium, I vividly remember turning it to face the young Republicans and tore into them. It was at least a 15 minute tirade of swear words and admonishing the Republicans for not doing more to keep Trump out of the RNC, and I'm apologizing over and over for my language. Ending it with a solid "Do us a favor and please shut the fuck up!"

They actually called for me to be censured and put it to a vote, which I won.

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

Following the vote, my vice principal even said, and I quote, "Just so you know I recorded that whole thing, not to get you in trouble, but to show to my mom."

[pissedoffenby]

Since some of you liked my last story, I wanted to share a new one with you. This story takes place in 2022. I'm aware that the weather in the Midwest can get chaotic. I am usually weather-aware, but on this particular day, I let my guard down.

I was visiting with some friends in South Central Illinois, and on this particular afternoon, there wasn't anything special going on in the area, so I decided to head home. As I'm getting ready to leave, I feel my phone go off with an alert from the NWS about a tornado watch. I thought this was normal for the summer months due to the relatively high humidity and instability from daytime heating. Not even five minutes go by, and I get a second alert that a tornado warning has been issued. This is when panic settled in.

As I drive away from the thunderstorm, I'm also bombarded with updates on the storm as it follows me out of the town I was visiting. I have my GPS and weather radar running simultaneously to give myself a bit of security. I just so happened to make a wrong turn and was looking into the belly of the beast itself. I was nearly overtaken by the whale's mouth of the thunderstorm, an area where the winds of a thunderstorm downdraft can be a bit more chaotic. Remembering the basics of surviving a storm on the road, I drove in 90-degree angles away from the base of the storm to keep the storm in my peripheral vision at all times. I didn't even notice that I had lost the storm about 50 miles back once I pulled into a gas station.

The story's moral is to check your local forecast before leaving for the day.

[pissedoffenby]

These poor poor pathetic idiots.

i know most people following me dont care about the weather, but i really need to share this because im genuinely gonna throw the fuck up dying of laughter over whoever runs this national weather service account on twitter fighting for their lives

[pissedoffenby]

It seems that my story on my debate with Pence was something y'all liked, but next week I plan to tell another story that was equally funny. Also, I fully intend to continue talking about my crazy ass life and throw some political satire in as well. Hopefully y'all will still find me funny.

[pissedoffenby]

Poor Reginald

I remember when I first watched this show, I played this part at least 5 times

[pissedoffenby]

Hello, today I thought I'd share something very funny with all of you. There are a few things to remember; the first thing is that the memories of the events I talk about are years old, and I'm only drawing on them today. Secondly, I'm from a small town in Indiana, and the club that I am talking about in this story was sponsored by the school itself.

With that being said, let's begin.

I was a rather vocal and opinionated person in my later teenage years. So when I was told that my school and the Government class sponsored the Young Republicans and young democrats club, I knew I'd be able to fit right in and voice my opinions and views to be debated. Little did I know just how memorable I'd be as a young Democrat or even as a young Democratic Socialist. The setup was rather....shall I say Jerry-rigged. We had 45 young Republicans and 36 young Democrats.

During club sessions, we would always find ourselves in different scenarios and debates, and we'd consistently enact them as if we were in the United States House Of Representatives or The United States Senate. Our Vice-Principal would act like the President of The Senate. During specific club sessions (once a month or so), we'd be honored to have our state congressional leaders join us for debates and other club activities.

On one very specific occasion, we were joined by four of our state congressional leaders, two from each party. The debate came down to the Second Amendment reform argument that had plagued even the Federal government for decades. I was the only Democrat on my side who had the spine to stand up and debate this subject, especially since this session followed immediately after the Parkland School Shooting of 2018. I brought my research to my podium while one of the Republicans from the state House of Representatives was waiting on the gym floor to debate.

The question was posed of how to curtail the epidemic of gun violence in the country, and I was given the chance to begin the debate. In all of my research, I concluded that the best approach would be to return to a Reagan-era gun policy. I further argued the point with not just state gun-related crime data but federal data as well. Comparing and contrasting the data from the start of those policies until that point. I even believe I outright said, "Regan." After proving my point, the State Republican Representative was given a chance to rebut, and he even said, "I can't follow that up." After that debate, all four representatives shook my hand and admitted that they were just outwitted by an 18-year-old with absolutely no political experience whatsoever.

On a separate occasion, six members of the state congress and state senate joined us. Three from each party, two state reps, and one state senator. Before the session even began, though, all the state congressional leaders asked me the same question. Which was, "Are you the kid that said Regan?" to which my response was simply"Yes." The topic up for debate was abortion reform and the possibility of an abortion ban in my state. I was the only Democrat on my side that raised their hand. Noticing a pattern yet? The debate got heated as I was battling a Republican who kept bringing up his stance instead of having a substantive answer to the question at hand. When it came time for my rebuttal, I laid into this guy.

Telling him that if an abortion ban were enacted, it would put millions of lives at risk in our state alone and that instead, Roe V Wade should be codified into law as it was. Bringing up that women and anyone who could get pregnant were already fighting an uphill battle just for the basic principle of bodily autonomy. I believe my exact ending remark was that this whole discussion was the precise definition of a, to which one of the State reps added "Cluster fuck" and I thanked him for the addition. Even after all of that, they still shook my hand afterward, and even the Republicans were asking why I wasn't one of them.

The final story I'll share happened in 2016, right around the Presidential election. Our clubs were told that we would go to the State Capitol building and tour both chambers. After the tour, we were told that we would join in on a state senate hearing that wouldn't, unfortunately, ever see the light of day. Our parties were split down the aisle, and we were shown to our seats. The chairman of the committee we were joining that day looked at me and said, "Aren't you the kid who said Regan?" I again responded with "yes." He smiled and suggested that I be the chairman for the day. Obviously, I'm absolutely freaking out. I was told to look at the agenda and ensure that my colleagues were staying in line and being respectful.

After a while, my debate came last but certainly not least. It was a topic that I had already debated a few times, and I used the same argument for funding public education. The chairman, however, asked me to prepare a new argument because it was a debate based on funding increases with an incentives/rewards system from standardized testing. Not wanting to be one to disappoint, I did just that. When I re-entered the room, I saw the now-former governor and former Vice-President Mike Pence waiting for me. I am now (rightfully and honestly) shitting my pants. The debate began after being given a minute to shake away the cobwebs. Governor Pence did his best to throw me off guard with specific points he brought up, but I stood on solid data and beliefs.

My rebuttal was incredible, with the first statement out of my mouth being, "My apologies for the language, but is anyone actually buying this crap?" I then roast him on point after point, bringing up my school's state test scores and how we actually received a bump in funding due to our athletic program, not test scores. What made me popular with all of the teachers in attendance was when I mentioned that we should be paying our teachers more regardless of test score averages. The thing that made me less popular with everyone in the room was when I mentioned that I am a self-described Democratic Socialist. I didn't lose my step or stride even after a collective gasp. I continued, stating that if Pence knew what damage he had already caused, he would abandon the state testing system altogether, start paying his teachers more, and invest in his students more than an everyday soccer mom would(no offense to any soccer moms reading this).

After that, a shock revelation, and a hell of a tirade, I still gotta a standing ovation from everyone in attendance when Pence conceded. After the session, Governor Pence walked up to me and shook my hand personally but then asked the same question. "Aren't you the kid that said Regan?" to which I responded with a simple "Yes."

Fuck you, Pence.

[pissedoffenby]

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