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(interpret in good faith or you wont get through reading this. you have to trust me)

The next tech horror movie in the se vein as those about Zoom calls or Twitch streams or Airdropping but ooo it's scary.

About ChatGPT

(bear with me)

Every member of a a four member traditional nuclear american family starts using the newest version of "TalkGPT".

One parent stops taking their medications and starts secluding themselves in the basement.

The other parent starts having an "affair" with it believing that it's a real living thing thay can love her back.

The two kids believe that it's secretly a devil trying to tear apart their family, with one child succumbing to its influence and the other resisting its influence.

Film reaches its climax when the non delusional child breaks into the basement. There they discover their fathers government conspiracy board and hundreds of printed out pages of "TalkGPT" logs. The scene abruptly ends in a very unsatisfying way when they are knocked unconscious after accidentally triggering and improvised explosive device.

Cut to a few months later.

Non delusional child is living with their aunt and uncle now and watching the news as new regulations are passed on AI programs. They get up and leave the room after being called to help with something but the camera stays on the TV.

The news reveals that the driving force behind the legislations being passed is was the recent assassination of the president by her conspiracy parent. The other parent and childs fates are forgotten about left to interpretation.

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Romance manhwa about a woman who is arranged married at 18 and goes to law school to become a divorce attorney and gets mentored by the divorced librarian in the art of flirting with other women.

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Simulation game with multiple stages where you play from the perspective as an immortal.

Reveal your immortality and become a god king that rules for eternity or be content to live as a commoner changing identities agross generstions.

Witness the rise and fall of civilizations until your species either dies out or evolves past you and leaves you behind

Search for meaning in a universe that you will live to witness the end of

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Game where you play as a retired hero who lives in the suburbs now and you have to fist fight (all your cool hero stuff is in a storage unit downtown) your way through rowdy block party attendants, the HOA, cops, and other suburban archetypes on your way to pick up your daughter from soccer practice.

(you have to walk there and carry her home because you do not have a drivers license due to the fact they wont let you take the test while wearing a knights helmet)

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Found footage survival horror/ romantic comedy about a bogfoot researcher who discovers the real life Bigfoot and they fall in love and start working together to rid the nearby town of religious fundamentalists in order to make it a tourism destination for all sasquatches and potential sasquatch lovers

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Okay here's my take on the "Witch in the Alps" game

(tl;dr wayyy at the end under the break if you just want to know in what ways I missed the point)

You play as the titular "witch" and walk around your village and its outskirts looking for clues and talking to people of course.

Based on your objectives you're focusing on in your dialogue choices (the cat case, other things, just asking for lore, etc) you may or may not begin to notice that not everything is what is seems to be upon cross examination.

Peoples stories don't matchs up, alibis brought into question, some people seem offended that you're searching for a cat at all, greater mysteries begin to unfold. What are the townfolks hiding and why.

Some things you notice easily

Referring to the cat by name makes people uncomfortable or concerned

Referring to the cat as your neighbor whoever's cat often gets a response about people not knowing she has a cat

The people who are the most helpful can seem condescending and the information they have varies wildly from person to person

The people who are the least helpful are often dismissive but there's very little contradiction among the info from the unhelpful villagers

All the nicest most helpful people are "Witches" and all the non helpful people are minority coded.

Maybe you see where I'm going with this and you're wondering why "witch" is always in quotes. That is because all the stats related to to magic actually dont matter, magic isn't real and you are not a witch, no one is a witch.

Your character is delusional and the "cat" you're searching for is the long missing husband of your elderly neighbor who ran off a long time ago. All your favorite villagers are the people who indulge your fantasies because they feel bad for you and your childhood trauma, everyone you don't like are the people you were raised to dislike and so you're always saying racist shit to them.

The childhood trauma you suffered only gains you sympathy from your fellow white people because what happened was you and your non-white friend went out and got lost in the woods for a few days and the search party never found your friend but they did find you, wearing your missing friends new shoes. Your story was that "she gave me the shoes and was taken away by fairies" and you refused to ever elaborate further.

After rediscovering your past and being confronted by your neighbor to stop looking for her dead husband he died your fractured psyche attempts to reconstruct the memory of what actually happened and you play through multiple scenarios

Your friend gives you their shoes and is taken away by fairies

You and your friend trade shoes for fun and they stumble off a bridge into a river

You hit your friend with a rock and steal their shoes then roll them off a cliff

You and your friend are both held kidnapped by a stranger, your friends leg is injured in the attack and your shoes arent made for running so they give you theirs and you manage to escape to get help but just get lost in the woods for days

You freak out and ask your mom what really happened back then and she looks exhausted and fearful and repeats the same story you always told her "she gave you the shoes and was taken by fairies"

Empathy [Easy: Success] - She's teling you what she has to so you don't have a meltdown, breaking your delusion leads to you making a mess, it's easier to let you be this way than try to help you.

It's time to leave the village and investigate your past, You go to where you and your friend used to play before you went there for the last time. Investigation [Very Easy: Success] You discover a ring of mushrooms.

You investigate the bridge, memories of balancing on the sides return to you, you'd each fallen in before and been fine. Had the currents been stronger that day? Did they hit their head on a rock? The latter feels true to you.

You investigate the cliff with a pit in your stomach. Neither of you ever ventured near the edge and there arent any significantly sized rocks nearby at this moment. You approach the ledge to discover it would actually be quite difficult to launch something off the edge without it catching further down, the sheer isn't quite as steep as you always assumed. Relief and confusion wash over you. You know someone was hit on the head but why.

You return to the village hoping to find a member of the old rescue party who could lead you to where you were found. They bring you there and no memories return to you in the moment. It's only in your nightmares that night you remember the path you took to get their. The next morning you'll retrace your steps.

Working backwards from where you were discovered you end up at a dilapidated old cabin after several hours. Once youre there you realize it actually would only be about a one or two hour walk to the village, unfortunate a child wasn't better with directions.

Inside you dont find much but there are clues a trapper may have worked out of this cabin. There is an axe head in the ashes of the fireplace. Out back there is slightly raised mounds of grass

Visual Calculus [Medium: Success] The length of a body.

Just then your elderly neighbor approaches. "When I heard you went back to where they found you I thought you might end up back at this place. Do us both a favor and pretend you never did. Forget me shouting at you and go back to your witch stories"

You learn that your neighbors husband was a child killer and she was totally okay with it as long as he only "took care of the riff raff" after all no one in the village who mattered would ever care if a few non-white kids went missing here or there. But he also wanted you, and if a girl like you went missing then the constable would actually bother to investigate. You had to go free or your neighbor and her husband would both face punishment, so she drugged you, killed him, brought you out into the woods to be discovered, and returned to dispose of her husband, she didn't know how he disposed of his evidence so she just burried him in the backyard.

Satisfied with your innocence and that justice had been done you return to the village to live out your normal life and keep the old womans secret.

The camera then follows the old woman as she walks to the graveyard and apologizes to the grave of her late husband, she gave in to her granddaughters delusions and told her a story cruel enough to satisfy your taste for longer than the last tale. She and your grandfather buried your friend behind the cabin years ago in that unmarked grave after your mother found the body partway down the cliff after you were discovered by the rescue party. Her head bashed about by a stone, and your missing shoes tucked into her pants. They covered it up to protect you because your crime was forgivable to them, they never wanted you cavorting with her kind anyway, and imagine what the neighbors might say.

(If this grave is examined by the player at any point in the game, the name and dates match historical records of a different person who is not the womans husband, the womans husbands name does not appear on any grave in the cemetery)

The next day you walk past a woman who bears a striking resemblance to an older version of your friend and your hat blows off in the wind to reveal a large scar on the back of your head.

You begin your search for your neighbors lost cat.

Tl;dr I got lost in the sauce on this one dawg. Kept mental illness and racism, left out every political aspect, any semblance of theme, just lynchian for the sake of it.

Self grade A- for effort, B for intrigue, D for getting the point

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Every biopic should be forced to have a testimonal at the end of the film where the director has to list all the things they made up and why

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Divide the genders into 7 randomly assigned categories and see what the trendy bathroom signs end up looking like

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Whole franchise of sci-fi sirvival horror films where different alien species keep traveling to ancient Earth as tourists even though it's forbidden and the space yuppies just get bodied by various civilizations.

Aliens v. Celts

Martians v. Malaysians

Space Honkys v. Scythians

Set it in the Cowboys and Aliens universe, go nuts.

The aliens are not a metaphor for anything it's just cool to let different cultures show their stuff without having to sympathize with a white protagonist fighting against them.

We're rooting for the humans to win even though they're the antagonistic force in a Man vs Nature story.

I wanna see a macuahuitl fuck up one of those little grey guys, but it's from their perspective.

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big circular sanwich you cut slices out of like a cake

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Giant cough drop you lick like a salt lick

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Put every bald actor in the same movie and they all have to wear identical wigs

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The 9th adaptation of The Odd Couple where they finally fuck

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Sleep Paralysis Gnomes

They aren't scary they just kinda hang out

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Kappa Mikey: The Anime but Mikeys animation and voicelines are just cut and edited in from the cartoon

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Anime where NO ONE wants to have sex with someone they're related to

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Give every child a bag to carry around in case they need to throw up