pixelmeatexe

[pixelmeatexe]

Project Update

After doing a lot of what I like to call "boundary work" I have started working in earnest on Rivals of Reya (project name). Actually making some tangible progress helps. We got character movement, collision systems, even some rudimentary animations. There's a lot that I'm working on in tandem that I would rather sparse out, like graphics and animation, but it's been beneficial to be able to visualize certain things. Also very useful is how animations and draw events work with each other.

I was on the fence for a bit between twin stick shooter and whatever the hell Vampire Survivors is considered (single stick shooter?) but eventually landed on twin stick for the type of gunplay I'm going for.

Anyway, feels good. Great even.

[pixelmeatexe]

Hell on Earth

As it came to pass I completed my playthrough of DOOM Eternal. Wild experience, especially playing all the games back to back. Eternal is something of a strange beast to me. It has this unique brand of expression through combat that seems utterly sadistic at times and laughably easy at others. You're given an arsenal that was built to literally rip and tear through swathes of chunky demons and every single bloody explosion remains satisfying until the end.

D16 and DE are very similar games but I do have a preference in how they present the rip and tear gameplay. D16 built a world - a living, breathing world. And while it did not have a robust narrative presentation, in fact what was there could largely be ignored, the devs took strides to make the world and events seem believable. Even down to your abilities. Eternal on the other hand stepped up to game-ify the formula from D16. That's no where near a bad thing. In fact I find it quite nostalgic. Almost like a back to basics, or call to origins of the medium. I wouldn't have batted an eye if they had a score counter in the upper right hand corner and after so many thousands of points you'd get a 1up. Hell they have 1ups in the game. It's a very striking choice that always reminds you that you're playing a game and games are cool. Now I do prefer the aesthetic choices of D16, neither one being better than the other, I just prefer to get lost in a world and floating 1up icons along with other things just pull me out of it. As I said, not better or worse just a preference in presentation thing.

I'm not a game good, game bad kind of person - all games have something worth experiencing even if it is sometimes just a lesson in what not to do. The only sore point in Eternal I had was the soundtrack. I know now that the OST had a troubled time and Mick Gordon did not have a pleasant experience creating it, and that saddens me as D16 is a phenomenal soundtrack. Quite often, games speak to me through their music. I'm sure most people acknowledge that sound is important to a games development, and maybe my time spent playing non-voiced RPGs in my youth has colored my perception, but I think soundtrack is integral to the experience no matter the genre. I don't state it as fact, but if a games soundtrack isn't memorable it's going to have a hard time being memorable in other areas. Hell an amazing soundtrack can sell me an entire experience that others would consider mediocre. I can forgive stale gameplay if the music is selling me the experience I want.

It's not always music, sometimes it's the art style too. Eternal's enemy art style, while more detailed didn't hit like D16's did. I know the reason for the change, it's obvious. Enemies chunk when they get shot. Parts bloody and fall off, sometimes explode. So much so that aspect is used as a mechanic for the final boss. Enemy models needed higher detail but also a characterization to them to be able to discern tactical information at a glance. In video games, information is power and in a game as frantic and fast paced as Eternal's combat is, it helps to be able to glean information while participating in combat the equivalent pace of walking on top of a bullet train. During combat you're rarely staring at an enemy down the barrel of your gun long enough to admire the details or notice that you've blasted a key part of the enemy off. You're most often boosting, jumping, climbing, soaring through the air as you lob grenades and a hail of bullets at anything that moves. D16 was the same way but they kicked up the octane in Eternal - if you don't move you're dead. So while I don't prefer Eternal's art style for its enemies, I know the reason why they veered in that direction. It was necessary. It's good game design.

[pixelmeatexe]

Rip and Tear

2016 was tumultuous time for me. Hell, 2012 and on I was hanging on by a thread, mentally. You'd think I would have dived into gaming more to keep my head on straight, but my gaming days had fallen off quite a bit which no doubt contributed to my disastrous mental health. So when DOOM released in 2016 I barely batted an eye.

Both eyes are wide open now.

Firstly, hats off to id Software. DOOM 3 was an early 2000s horror re-imagining of DOOM but DOOM '16 is something entirely different. It's absolutely gorgeous first off, and as smooth as chocolate mousse. The brutal aesthetics wrapped up in a very sleek art design culminates into something extremely elegant, despite its gory trappings. I know it's almost 10 years too late, but I am astounded with how the game looks and feels. Not only does it feel like a modern representation of the DOOM formula, but feels like a modern update to First Person Shooter gameplay in overall. Now there's no lack of indie shooters that take the original DOOM formula and run with it and it would seem at first glance that DOOM '16 hasn't received that but I did play Mullet Madjack and that definitely has the same gameplay vibes. Just surprised there isn't more experimentation than there already is in the wake of D'16 release.

For a game with a silent protagonist and sparse narrative there is a surprising amount of 'feeling' in the game. Not emotionally, more kinetic. Movement, momentum. Obviously this comes from the gamplay that requires and rewards constant aggression but the level design is also built for that. You can let the game take you for a complete ride and feel the full satisfaction of the experience. Ah-ha but exploration is also an aspect of the game, so while it's easy and rewarding to get swept up in the forward energy of the game design it's equally as rewarding to stop and look around.

While the narrative might be sparse, there is no shortage of deep lore. I must admit I have not chewed into any of it. I don't think a first time playthrough really lends itself to stopping the action to read and there is a lot to read. There can be several paragraphs detailing the origins of weapons, equipment, analysis of enemies you fight, not to mentiona myriad of world building data files that are every bit as deep as something you'd find in a role-playing game. All good things, all welcomed efforts and addtions. I just think, for a first time run through it pays to as present as possible. Save the lore readings for after the credits on subsequent playthroughs.

I know the game isn't very old, or at least it doesn't feel like it has aged at all. Graphic fidelity is not something I typically care about - the game looks however it looks by way of necessity or creative choice. Visually it looks like it is very well competing with games in 2025. Perhaps I've been playing a lot of games older than a decade old these days but on PC ultra settings I can barely tell this game apart from something that came out in the past 2 years. Hats off to id Software for creating something that feels as timeless and unique as classic DOOM, although probably as not as industry impactful.

Quick nod to Mick Gordon on the music composition as it is absolutely perfect for the setting and gameplay. From haunting themes while exploring a possessed Mars to adrenaline pumping guitar riffs while you're being sprayed in the blood of demons. Not a piece felt out of place.

[pixelmeatexe]

Doom 3

Started and finished Doom 3 and wow what a game. Note that I was playing the 2019 re-release, which I believe was just a straight port of the BFG version from mid 2000s.

Ultimately super impressed with how id Software took the Doom formula and modernized it (for the time anyway) in a way that still felt like Doom. And for once it was a horror experience. You'd figure hordes of zombies and demons would be inherently horror but I have never felt that from Doom - it just wasn't that kind of game to me. Doom 3 gave me the kind of vibes you can only get from a horror game like Dead Space. As such it took me longer to beat as I had to take multiple breaks because it was just so spooky.

Horror is a genre I generally like and I think it has a lot to say, but in video games horror actually frightens me. I get so invested in video games that it's hard to pull out of it and this is doubly so if I'm enjoying a horror game. And when it comes to horror, sci-fi horror settings have always been the ultimate experience for me. We can thank watching Alien at an early age for that. Something like Dead Space was so heart pounding, so incessantly aggressive with its horror that I am surprised I even beat it. Alien: Isolation is a game that I have found so horrific that I have started it several times but get so frightened before the actual Alien appears that I just uninstall it. For me, horror and space are the ultimate combo of being scared shitless.

Sound design is really important here and while not as laser focused as Dead Space was in this regard, Doom 3 had incredible sound design that was actually pretty important for gameplay. Each of the enemies in Doom 3 make specific sounds when spawning/spawned into the maps and listening for these sounds becomes real important as the further you get in the game the more sneaky id gets with enemy spawning. There's many times where an enemy will be spawned around a corner you just passed and you have a split second window to hear the effect play and react. Many times that window is way too short and you end up getting hit which is its own kind of jump scare. I think many players would categorize these as cheap spawns, and in many games I would think so too. But Doom 3 isn't a survival horror game. There are resources and healing kits abound so getting hit isn't as detrimental as it at first seems. But it's still scary when it comes seemingly out of nowhere.

I absolutely loved the art design and the look of the game. Obviously it doesn't feel very Doom without those old school pixel graphics, and it doesn't have a visual link to modern Doom either. It's very much its own thing and I think it's absolutely wonderful. Not quite the washed out post Xb360 era shooter, and certainly not as colorful as Halo, it has this happy medium of grey steels, army greens, and fleshy reds. The lighting is really what makes the game. The use of lights and shadows within the gameplay is very deliberate as when something is covered in shadow it is nigh unseeable.

Probably a good time to bring up Doom 3's reception and the flashlight. Now I didn't have a PC at the time so I couldn't play Doom 3 when it launched in I think 2004 originally. I could only hear what other people were saying about it. The reception that I gathered from the scant PC gamers I knew at the time was that it was not very well liked. Mostly due to the flashlight mechanic. In the original release the flashlight was a separate piece of equipment that you need to equip in place of your gun - meaning you couldn't light up dark areas and shoot at the same time. There were other gripes I'm sure but the flashlight was the first thing out of anyone's mouth that I spoke with. And I can see why that would drastically slow down the pace of the game, but I can also see where that would amp up the tension. Later they released the BFG version which gave a mounted flashlight right from the rip so you could always have a flashlight albeit on a cooldown and I really like this. If you could have an infinite flashlight there'd be no reason to turn it off as Doom 3 is generally a dark game. And if you could always illuminate dark areas the player wouldn't be able to appreciate the contrast of light to shadow and would miss out on some pretty horrific scenes where the flashlight goes out just as a few enemies spawn in a dark room. Makes for a memorable experience.

I am not sure if back then I would have liked or disliked the original flashlight mechanic but I do like the game as it stands nowadays. Plays extremely smooth like a well-greased death machine. No texture pop-in and the game only stops to load between areas or when the occasional autosave pops up.

I did take some screenshots but I was playing the game on the PC Gamepass app and for some reason it did not play well with taking screenshots with this game in particular, so I did not get many.

There were some things I didn't love about the game but they weren't many. The jump scare spawn tactics were both thrilling and annoying, especially when you can see it coming. There's a sort of sense of accomplishment when you see some pickups in the corner and successfully predict that an enemy will spawn behind you as you try to pick it up. Other times you know that as soon as you turn a certain corner or door threshold you hear the spawning cue and sort of roll your eyes. Another small issue I had was the level design. There is something to id games that I can't always sparse where I should go or what I should do, and I'm not referring to the "puzzle" sections of the game, because there are those. Some moments of any of the Dooms I have played so far have these areas that I just get stuck on where it's not easily telegraphed where I should go next. I had thought this was a symptom of classic Doom level design but it is also present in Doom 3. It's not always obvious that I need to jump on some random platform that looks like I could fall to my death or a panel I didn't know I could interact with. There was a section in Doom 3 with a sort of conveyor lift that I was riding back and forth to different areas for probably 20 minutes until I realized I could control the thing up and down as well, letting me access the area I needed to in order to progress. As I said it didn't happen often but seems to be constant whenever I play a Doom game.

There's some little fun touches in this game. You pick up PDAs of scientists and security officers of the facility which contain audio logs and emails. There were a couple emails that had fictional websites in them and of course I tried to visit these sites on a browser which brought me to Bethesda's website because Bethesda owns id now. I am willing to bet there were actual mock websites back when this released and that's a cool thing that games used to do that I don't think I've seen in a while. I also found an "id block" in the last level right before the final boss. When I activated the brick I got an id Software PDA that had emails from the dev team thanking for playing the game as well as little notes and dedications. Nice little touch and I loved that.

Overall an amazing experience playing through Doom 3. Now I go on to Doom (2016).

[pixelmeatexe]

On DOOM

DOOM: The Dark Ages is nearing release and I've felt compelled to play through the older games. I finally beat DOOM 64 yesterday and it was the first time I had done so. My history with DOOM has been one of mostly from afar. Let me explain.

PC gaming just wasn't conceivable in my youth. We were poor - a fact I'll likely talk about often as that constant economic condition informed much of what I was able to play in my childhood. PCs were dreadfully expensive compared to home video game consoles and I was incredibly lucky to have any of those.

My dad had a friend named "Whoa-Joe". Whoa-Joe worked the city garbage trucks with my dad and they would hang out semi-regularly. It also just so happens Whoa-Joe was dating my aunt at the time. Not sure which came first, chicken and the egg kind of thing. When my dad would go to Whoa-Joe's he would drag me along because we weren't really the babysitter type of family. I'm not sure what they would do when they hung out: play darts, drink Old Style, smoke pot, bbq some weenies. I was left to my own devices and at Whoa-Joe's house those devices were pretty bleak. Whoa-Joe had a roommate that never seemed to be there, I think he worked a 2nd shift. Said roommate owned a computer that sat right in the central dining area. When these two men saw that I was going to be pretty bored they scrambled to think of something to preoccupy my little brain - until Whoa Joe had a light bulb moment and stuck me in front of the computer. At first he showed me Mind Sweeper but when that didn't really hit he clicked on an icon that said "DOOM II". I don't know how long I played that first day but it felt like the discovery of fire. It was something totally new to my tiny brain which had mostly experienced platformers on the NES and SNES at this point. I would have to wait ages (or so it seemed to my juvenile skull meat) to play DOOM II again. Luckily I would have written down the password to the level I was on so I could continue whenever the next time I was in front of that computer. I can't say that I actually beat the thing, but I did play much of it. Eventually their friendship fell out, as did my relationship with PC gaming and DOOM for some time.

Then there was also this:

I had a Nintendo Power subscription for ages and the Ultra 64 system was beginning to have a lot of coverage. I was completely enthralled by the games. Everything they showcased seem magical, none least of all than DOOM 64. I'd obsessively comb every image and word covering the game. For some reason I found its existence strange, although I had no real reason to think that. There was something about its exclusivity that was captivating, energizing even. With a name like DOOM 64 it could not be on any other platform - it was tailor made for the Nintendo 64. Now that I'm looking at this cover again I find it funny that the rocket launcher is shooting green lasers of all things. This was during the time where Nintendo Power shifted from their illustrated covers to covers made with computer generated images to signify that Nintendo was a powerful graphic brand I guess. I didn't like them. I thought they all looked garish at the time. Now I think they're fine, but I digress. I did not have a Nintendo 64 when it launched. I still had a Super Nintendo. My cousin got his hands on an N64 and I would go over to his house on weekends and play some rented games with him. There were many we enjoyed but there was something that felt off. I just don't think the console was hitting with either of us. So much so he let me borrow the console one weekend and when I paid a visit to Midtown Video I saw DOOM 64 on the shelf and immediately snatched it. I don't remember many critiques but I do remember loving every minute. It was summer, and the house was cool and dark, I had the N64 connected to the TV in the front room and was locked in, as they say. I am sure the controls were clunky and difficult to get used to, but I don't actually recall. I am sure I didn't beat the game that weekend, and that would be my last foray into DOOM 64 for quite a many years as I was never able to acquire a 64 (in my youth) and opted to follow Squaresoft to the Playstation. DOOM 64 did leave a lasting impression on me as from that day forward I always thought of it as the best DOOM.

When I did get a new console it would be Sony's Playstation, as Final Fantasy had a firm hook into my young psyche. Mostly I would use the machine to play Japanese Role Playing Games which would also be the focus of my weekend rentals. That is until when I saw Final DOOM at Midtown Video (now defunct; actually I think it's a Mexican grocery store so who can be mad really?). I only had a weekend with Final DOOM and I didn't quite realize what it was, but I think I did recognize some levels from DOOM II. I can't for the life of me remember how it controlled on that Dual Shock controller, but I'm sure it wasn't great. There weren't a whole lot of FPS games on Playstation, and i don't recall their controls ever being a problem, but they'd sure be a problem in these post Halo CE days. I don't remember ever renting it again. I didn't realize it was essentially DOOM II with extras so to me, having experienced DOOM 64 first, this seemed like a big step down.

That would be the extent of my DOOM experiences. DOOM 3 came and went, and I didn't have the funds to constantly secure new games, coupled with fact a) video rental stores were beginning to decline and fact b) Halo 2 - nothing more need be said.

So we leave 2005 and fast-forward to 2025 where DOOM 64 is available in an official release for PC and is in fact on Game Pass and I have finally conquered it. I did not find all the demon keys but I beat the game and I'm sure I'll play through again. Of course I could have played it years ago - I had purchased a clear green N64 from a Goodwill around 2008 and had a few games for the console but never went in search of games. You'd figure DOOM 64 would be atop my list as there were only a handful of games I actually like for the N64, but alas it never came to be. I also had a modest gaming PC at that time and could have emulated it, but emulation has mostly been a lackluster thing for me. I'm certainly not against it, I just have never preferred it over official releases, it was a last resort sort of thing for me. That and N64 emulation has been a struggle from the beginning.

DOOM 64 is much like I remember it: brilliant and gorgeous. Feels great to play and the level design is top notch. There is something about the graphic design of the game that has always stuck out to me. There's a physicality to it, a kinetic crisp-ness almost. The environments really spark the imagination for me, as it always had. I was always a huge science-fiction fan, especially the Alien series so DOOM always had a connection to me there, and with the environments more closely resembling a space facility in DOOM 64 there was a deeper connection. It feels great to have revisited this long lost friend and see it through to the end. It lives up to my memory of being the best (Classic) DOOM.

Anyway, on to DOOM 3 for the very first time.

[pixelmeatexe]

Dream Project

It has been a long time since I played through Chrono Trigger, at least 15 years. Something I used to do periodically but had fallen by the wayside. Today I completed a playthrough of this, one of my most treasured experiences. Rarely are shedding tears so joyful than in these moments.

The game was an impossible thought back when it released - something that should never have been able to take place. Impossible odds and an extremely talented team created what is still one of the best gaming experiences and gaming stories to this day. The gorgeous pixel art & art design, charming cast, immaculate soundtrack, ease of play, and the incredible heart-filled story all wrap up into a package that everyone should experience at least once.

For me personally, Chrono Trigger was seminal and life changing game. It shaped everything I wanted to create from then on and fully cemented video games as the highest form of art in my view.

Playing this game to completion in the 90s was a challenge. Cartridge games were still very expensive and my family was poor. Video rental stores thankfully started to carry video games and that was both a boon and a hindrance in itself. Chrono Trigger is an easy 25-30 hour game depending on if you know what you're doing or not, and the first time I played it I did not know what I was doing so it probably took me closer to 40-50 hours. Couple that with the fact that most video rental stores only had 3 day rentals. Good news is that the mom & pop stores that were preferable to rent from as opposed to a chain like Blockbuster were not opened on Sundays, meaning the game didn't have to go back until Monday. Even an entire weekend might not be enough to complete some games so you had to return the game and hope that the following weekend 1, the game would be available to rent and 2, the last person who rented it had to grace to not erase your save file so you could continue progress. It was some time before I could actually complete the game. In fact, I'd wager it was well into the time frame when I had a Playstation that I finally beat Chrono Trigger for Super Nintendo. That kind of experience, the thrill of being able to continue and complete a game after waiting the whole week also played a part in how it affected me in those days.

The game still holds up extremely well and is absolutely a once in a lifetime game.

I don't really have a major point to this post, I just wanted to gush a bit about one of the all time best games ever while the tears will still fresh on my cheeks.

Peace

[pixelmeatexe]

Wildin' in Wilds

How can anyone get anything done with Wilds out in the world?

Coming up to release I just did not care, even though I am a longtime fan. Played the 1st beta and it just didn't click with me. Even before that I doubted they were going to deliver an experience the same as World. And in many ways they haven't, and probably never will. But something about beta test 2, even though I wasn't able to play all weekend, grabbed me differently. I felt the flow of the thing.

I WAS FEELING THE JUICE

Then on release I really became enraptured with the world and for the first time in a MH, the story. Still sparse by many comparisons but for MH it was true step in the narrative direction. Combing aspects of MH4 and World's narrative tools to bring something that can actually tug at the heart strings. It's focused on the people and the villages in a greater capacity than any of the mainline MH games and makes for a pretty endearing experience.

Make no mistake, the game is still about bashing big beasties and is in no way a character study. But even the monsters get a better characterization with the way they are introduced.

In the past MH games, you'd talk to some villager or look at a quest board and they'd tell you that a monster attacked some caravan or villagers going about their daily lives and you need to go hunt the thing. In Wilds you actually see the monster show up and attack villagers, or cause some kind of problem. It's a much more dramatic way to go through the story and I think a great improvement on the formula. It's the same on paper, but in practice the monsters are presented as more of an obstacle than a task.

I've seen people refer to the difficulty of the game. And yeah true I'm blazing through even the high rank tempered monsters with relative ease. I am not sure that speaks to the games difficulty, how effective Charge Blade is, or my own MH experience level, but I find soloing Tempered Gore Magala actually doable compared to hunting with a party of real folks. Which is a little sad as I've played most of the game solo. But I am having fun. And that counts for more than overcoming some arbitrary challenge.

[pixelmeatexe]

About the blog...

Hello there!

Not necessarily new here, used to be the_last_of_sus but that account was suspended because I used it as a reblog dump pretty exclusively, and there was much nsfw.

Not this time though as I am attempting to give Tumblr the respect it deserves by actually using it as a blog and not some infinite doomscrolling machine.

So there won't be much in the way of reblogs here, mostly just game rantings about any old thing I care to rant about.

I'm also a fledgling game developer and I'm hoping that using this as a game dev journal will assist in motivating/inspiring me moving forward.

While I don't plan on getting too personal with my posts I won't be necessarily excluding that sort of thing. I'll use hashtags for all that stuff. Hopefully.