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busy busy busy. will get to replying soon!

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@agentvalentine said: do you need some help with that?

how foolish she must look amongst men twice her size, hobbyists and soldiers who look at her ( her shoes too clean, her jewellery worth more than their rusting pickup trucks baking in the parking lot sun, silk scarf knotted around her wrists like an ostentatious bandage ). hope rekindled in the wake of spain ⸻ no smile can shirk the gnawing in her bones each time she walks alone, each time a single car passes too slowly, each time she wakes up in the dead of night slick with sweat and the rattling of heart; caged bird it is. her hands tremble on the gun. they always do.

"oh," tension washed away by mild relief ⸻ it does not free her from the sedimentary awkwardness of a young woman out of place in this shooting range. nonetheless, a single offer from another woman does not feel as patronizing as it would from any other. she smiles, quivering hands pulling the gun back into her space. self defence, she imagines, is an easier task to master when you are certain it is your finger pulling the trigger.

those two women ( once-women, parasitized women, she will never know ) sit at the gate of her nightmares, the opalescent fabric that covers their head ruined by the slow crawl of blood. in her resistance she killed them ⸻ in her inability to resist she almost killed him.

"i'm no good with these things, hah," attempts at playing casual that she worries make her look childish. something about this woman, the way she carries herself, seems far more suited to the location than the herself but she smiles ( because she can ⸻ she must ) and offers out the gun with trepidation. "i'm ashley, by the way." her surname goes unspoken, a habit when she is places she is not supposed to be. too much unwarranted attention finds her otherwise.

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ASSORTED QUESTION PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

do you think now would be a good time?

how am i supposed to trust you after a stunt like that?

do you have any idea what that does to me?

have you ever been up north?

what was your childhood like?

do you think there's a chance for us?

what time were you planning to leave?

is there anything i can bring you?

you knew about this, and you never told me?

what did you expect me to do?

how much more of this can you take?

do you think we can find a way out of here?

can you just stop for a second and let me think?

why did you go without me?

what difference does it make?

how long can you stay?

could you bring me my jacket?

will you give me another chance?

where am i supposed to go?

when did it start raining?

will you take me with you?

can i just hear the full story first?

didn't we agree to do this together?

when did we decide to do that?

will you walk me home?

there's more to the story, isn't there?

how many were lost?

will you kiss me again later?

would you join me on the dance floor?

how many guests can we expect?

were you expecting someone else?

can i trust you?

will it always be like this?

do you smell something burning?

when did that get there?

did you move the furniture around?

was that a ghost?

is that blood?

are you playing a trick on me?

what's your favorite holiday?

did you take my gun?

would you change anything about your life?

what were you really like back then?

do i mean anything to you?

were you ever going to come back for me?

will you call me tomorrow and tell me what happens?

were you lying this whole time?

when will it end?

we're not going to survive this, are we?

did you have to be so mean about it?

would you meet me in my quarters?

is this how you flirt with everyone?

are you always like this?

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MORE QUESTION PROMPTS *  assorted questions, adjust as necessary

when were you going to tell me the truth about this?

there's another way to solve this, isn't there?

why did you pretend for so long?

could you just wait until i'm ready?

how long has this been going on?

do you think there's more out there?

were you really the person i thought you were?

how many times have i asked you to do this?

how long have you loved me?

you've known all along and you never told me?

how am i supposed to be normal about this?

did you ever think this could affect me, too?

how can you be so selfish?

when was the last time you slept?

you've done this before, haven't you?

what do you mean, you don't know?

do you believe in a higher power?

will you make me something?

why did you lie to me?

are you dressed?

will you please sit down for two seconds?

how can i make you understand?

how often does this happen?

is this a regular thing for you?

do you come here often?

mind if i buy you a drink?

did you ever consider it might hurt my feelings?

do you wanna get out of here?

why don't we find somewhere quiet?

do you need some help with that?

is that all you brought?

is it hard being this stupid?

do you think you could do that again?

when was the last time you were here?

did you hear what i said?

can i come in?

do you consider us friends?

why should i tell you anything?

did you go without me?

what if that was you?

do you think you'll ever trust me again?

do you realize how hard i've worked to get here?

why do you never consider my feelings?

do you think i should try again?

can you hold me for a while?

was that what you expected?

will you please put that away and pay attention?

what if there's no way out of this?

what if we're stuck here forever?

where did it all go wrong?

do you always act like this?

mind if i smoke?

would you shut the door on the way out?

how long did it take you to get here?

when was the last time someone made you feel truly loved?

are you sure you know what you're doing?

what if i mess this all up?

why do you need to know?

when did you stop loving me?

did you just wake up?

did you expect me to walk away?

did you hear that noise?

could you come pick me up?

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ASHLEY GRAHAM resident evil 4 remake, 2023

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in retrospect the biggest plot issue with 4 is that the whole plan revolves around a) ash being taken back to the us and b) l.eon succumbing to his infection so why do they keep trying to stop him taking her back ( especially because if he did so immediately he wouldn't know about the parasite ) and then trying to kill him ( instead of waiting for him to succumb ).

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@ischemiac said: ❛ how long has it been since you've slept? ❜

"too long." perhaps her tone is ill-fitting ⸻ spoke with all the displeasure of a all-night study session dragging on into the midday haze, beyond the precipice of exhaustion and into the second wind of invigoration, a temporary boon. she cannot gauge how many hours ( or days ) have passed, as if her metamorphosis into nothing but cargo had transported her not only across oceans but realities into a realm of permanent dusk unable to evolve into dawn. the sun itself has abandoned this rural piece of the world, the overcast sky smothering out all but the fires: those atop wooden torches, the pyres of bodies mangled into iconography, the burning wreckage of cannon fire.

should she stay still too long she is certain her legs will fail her, as if the tide of exhaustion will finally reach her, seizing each ankle with the pain she has managed to stave off ( or worse, the puppetmaster pulling at her limbs, a prisoner not in reinforced steel but the unholy cathedral of flesh and bone ) ⸻ survival, she finds, is exhilarating but the cost is sure to decimate. this is not her life. this is not what she was built for. she lacks the training, the natural talent. irregardless, she is trying her best.

"i'm okay, though," bright-eyed, she smiles because he doesn't ( so stern, she finds, so sad ⸻ how she'd love to pick at the seams of her guardian angel, pluck each feather for his wings until she can say she knows him, until she is more than a thing to be transported, a chess piece moved from one side of the board to the other ), convinced that if they stop she will never find the strength to begin again. "don't worry about me, i'm tougher than i look." birdsong laughter, light and sweet, it is a revelation she was unprepared for: she carries her own weight as if it is all she has ( isn't it? ), an active participant in her own rescue. absence in the sharpshooter eye, the artful dance of a blade, perhaps, but she refuses to have a princess made of her, useless outside her vaunted tower. besides, who has time to sleep? "i'd be lying if i said cannot wait to get back to my own bed."

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some rambling about the game put under a cut because it got a little long, aha.

replaying the original so i can get my picks of what to take from each game as my 'canon' and regardless of opinions on the originals writing / dialogue ( which is very 2000s and certainly regarding ash is inappropriate half the time ) i do think the remake fails when it comes to capturing the comedy of the original. part of the charm is l.eon thinking he's very funny and witty ( he's not ) - it's supposed to be a dumb american action movie that's why all these characters fit the tropes and stereotypes you would expect. i spoke briefly about how whilst i like s.addler in the remake, i think his og counterpart is just more interesting - they feel like two different characters instead of an improved one. characters like r.amón especially lose a lot of their flavour when all the comms scenes are removed. it's the one issue i have with all the remakes - they lack that campy charm by opting for serious 'realism'. l.eon still makes jokes but none of them land because he's so much more serious and whilst his jokes were bad in the og, i think him deflecting / coping with humour is an interesting trait.

i think operation j.avier suffers the worst from it though. they had the chance to add it in-game, even in just a cutscene, to finally give context and backstory and instead they changed it entirely to remove any mention of m.anuela ( even j.avier himself ), the virus ( though i understand many people new to the series due to the remakes won't know what t v.eronica is ), j.ack's infection and dismissal ( him working for s.addler and not w.esker is an odd change, but if they committed to it could have really worked - a disabled, disgruntled, isolated war veteran let down by the government is the perfect target for a cult ) but not to mention that the 'you can't save anyone' / 'this time it has to be different' makes far more sense when you consider m.anuela ( especially as l.eon could have no impact on saving m.arvin and by this point he already knows a.da is alive ) - especially if they canonized the 'bad' ending where she turns to ash ( as we never see / hear from her again, which is fine - personal take that not every one-time character has to return, even if i like them ). the parallel of a young innocent woman, infected, under l.eon's protection, would have worked much better than 'the government killed all these men for...reasons?' ( why were they killed? did s.immons have something to do with it, showing more of his corruption prior to six? were they infected with the virus they don't mention? as the series progresses this happens more and more, and l.eon himself aids in the coverups of rc etc etc, which could have added more context to the issues between him and j.ack but instead it just comes across for people who have are new that j.ack's blaming l.eon for...reasons? ). they could have sown the seeds of future events whilst bringing in the important things that get missed because it's in a railshooter side game and it's a missed opportunity! also i think if they did acknowledge the canon of m.anuela's survival that her and ash could have gotten on really well ) even if it's unlikely they'd meet.

ash definitely 'won' in terms of improvement ( though i never found her annoying, fandom just was outrageously sexist / harsh on her - whilst it's better now, her being relegated to the 'braincell haver' or the 'daughter / sister / niece' of l.eon ( and usually l.uis) when she's an adult woman not that much younger or the rampant over sexualisation of modders which is a plague upon every modding scene is still... not great. god forbid we treat women as more than accessories ) but i do wish they kept in a litte of her sharpness. it's been a long time since i've played the og so i'll have more thoughts but definitely the scene where she runs away / they get separated is a huge improvement. i've seen people say before the og ash was 'bitchy' but her shoving l.eon away always felt like panic - she's frightened! the remake definitely did a better job of showing it ( and the effects of the p.laga in general, although i do think they should have kept in the scene with l.eon and a.da, even if they changed it so he doesn't choke her, to show how it's effecting him too - especially as iirc he isn't given a dominant p.laga like ash is so he should be suffering far less control, although i suppose maybe that is shown in how he's rendered immobile repeatedly whereas she is controlled? who knows ). either way, the relationship between them two of them is vastly improved and though i wish we'd gotten to see more of her interactions with the rest of the cast ( though i do find her 'for l.uis' a nice touch - i'd like to explore their relationship but definitely the revelation that he's partly responsible because whilst l.eon knows, she doesn't ). it would have been nice to get a gauge on her relationship with her father, for her to talk about her experience being kidnapped and growing to trust l.eon ( especially as her security failed to protect her / were in on it and the subsequent distrust it would form in the government ).

tldr; there's a lot of things it improves on but equally as much it fails with ( that's what rp is for! ) but i'm glad after all these years ash has stopped being utterly ignored or despised by the majority of fandom.

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in the wake of their return, all the questions that had taken a backseat to unadulterated survival have slowly filled the vessel of her mind: how long had those people been like that; why had no one noticed; what happened to that woman dressed in red and had, beneath the charm and quick wit, luis known how grateful she was? more and more of them surface each day but always at the forefront is the one that plagues her ⸻ can she trust herself anymore? is her body truly hers?

leon's confirmation sets her bundled nerves at ease, tension ebbing out her shoulders, her smile less forced and settling into something softer. her gaze idly focusing on the movement of his finger and briefly, shamefully, wondering what his fingers would feel like tracing her lips like that.

even reducing the plagas to background noise, heavyweight font REDACTED over all mentions of it, she has not talked to anyone about it besides a single therapist ( as if any therapist has been trained for the unique combination of traumas she's endured! ). her absence from college a reported whirlwind holiday on the back of a rich girl's spontaneous whims. the traitor in her security, the failure of the goverment, a weak president unable to protect his daughter ⸻ all ideas kept at bay by the carefully constructed lies, as if it never happened. her hands slip around the ceramic of her mug, a warmth that keeps the most vicious doubts back.

"yeah..." he's so blunt sometimes, she thinks, but it is appreciated in all the ways she never expected. no sugarcoating, no glossing over, no patronization in the way he talks to her as if she's just a child and not a woman only a few years younger. as if they're equals ⸻ a team, one she imagines in the orange glow of eighties action movies, bombastic and coasting on consumable americana. "is that what you do? talk about it?" if he spills the contents of his heart, it's not to her. that woman in red, perhaps? someone else? her mind conjures up some glamourous woman, bond-girl-esque at his side. she wishes it was her. a pang of jealousy curls her fingers.

"they wanted to send me back home, you know? like a...bomb, i suppose." government officials and international leaders, any and all who passed by her and her father, all exposed to the holy body ⸻ and she, an object. the gun, the nuke. major krauser had locked her in a shipping container like she was cargo. how demoralizing, upon reflection. "i guess i just keep worrying that this was all part of their plan."

Leon lets out a low, hearty chuckle.

It’s a good thing to hear her joke around. But not everything can be hidden behind a smile. God knows surviving Raccoon City left him with far too many scars. It took time for those wounds to heal. Partly because he had to do it alone. He doesn’t want that for Ashley, though. He may not be able to help all the time, but If he can be there for her, provide her with some comfort, help her process some of what she’s going through, that might facilitate the healing process. That might leave fewer scars on her.

“I do,” he confesses with a nod, leaning back against the chair. The tip of his finger traces the rim of the steaming cup of coffee before him.

Coming back to the States after what happened in Spain presented its own set of obstacles. He had to undergo many medical procedures to make sure everything was in order. They couldn’t risk having a potential traitor among them, after all. He’s certain Ashley must have gone through similar things. And yet, even though all those tests confirmed the parasite was completely eradicated, his dreams said otherwise.

“Some things, they take time to go away. Others stay with you forever. That’s the cost of survival.” There was no sugarcoating it. But Ashley has proven herself, time and time again, capable of handling the truth. “Even if your body’s okay, a lot of what follows is here.” He taps a finger against his head. “It’s a different kind of fight.”

Leon brings the cup to his mouth and takes a sip. Sometimes enjoying the simplest things can help ease his nerves. Other times, he needs something stronger.

“Talking about it helps,” he says. “It may not fix everything. And I can’t promise you it won’t get worse, but it’s a good start.”

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just a quick note ( in particular with any leons i write with! ) ⸻ if i acknowledge / address her little hero-crush on him, i promise i'm not trying to force-ship with you!

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the way ashley’s section was done in the remake is one of my favorite parts so i had to draw it along with ashley’s best line

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criminal how there's so much content for infected au's ( of other chars ) but not for ash even though that was the what the plot revolved around for the most part.

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@silverghcst said: ❛ hold still. this might sting a little. ❜

"okay, yeah. okay, i can do that." of all the things they've endured, a wayward scrape, a cut, a collage of purple and yellow bruises mottling her skin, all of it seems like background noise. hazy and unobtrusive, unworthy of recognition. she sits atop an overturned locker, focusing on the reflections of the flickering lights against the metal and not the long needle of whatever that thing was jutting out her thigh ( at this point, she may as well forgo her tights altogether, dotted with holes where pale skin peeks through like stars ). "go for it."

it's her own fault, she knows; too slow, too slow. more than anything she wants him to hold her hand and lead her through the maze of this island, to cling to a shirt that fits him all too well as if it is her single lifeline out of here ⸻ isn't it? she braces herself for the barb to be removed, staunch in her refusal to cry. she can be brave. she is brave.

"i thought those suits of armour were the worst," being chased by villagers in filthy rags seems almost pleasant now, "everything on the island is just...messed up." a pause between her words, for emphasis. pale, shambling bodies with grins splitting their faces, flashlight eyes in the dark, their needle-like skin jutting out at every angle ⸻ a reoccurring nightmare in the making.

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@theoneladytypeonelady said: ❛ you know you can always talk to me. ❜

even now she is afraid to look at her own hands as if, between blinks, they will be black veins spiderwebbing across her pale skin ⸻ the urge, then and now, to dig, to scratch, to tear the pieces of it's carapace out of her chest, a replacement for the idle doodling on her notes, picking at the flaking varnish on her nails. in the low light of dusk she had seen luis's scar, an ugly thing she expected to share, a lifetime of planning outfits around the covering of it in her future but neither of them were opened up in that little laboratory ( thank god, how could she had preformed a surgery like that? a little know-how, luis had said, and she lacked it ) and it sits, festering, in the back of her mind that a piece of the puzzle was missing, a vital step in the process they had stumbled past.

he's not the type to have a heart-to-heart, she had thought ( still does, on occasion ) but he had been gentle with her. supportive. encouraging. she likes to think she knows him and worries, silently, that it's all just work to him. the gesture is appreciated ⸻ who else could she talk to about it? who else would understand? anyone else who could is dead.

"is my dad paying you extra to play therapist?" light-hearted, not accusatory. spoken with a smile that despite everything has not diminished, "thanks, leon. that...that means a lot. really. it's just - do you ever...worry about it? if it's really gone?" a litany of questions sit along her tongue: how does he cope with it; can he sleep at night; does he know she tried, oh god she tried, to resist but it had not been her strength ⸻ the gun had jammed. her gaze lifts to look at him, fingers unwoven so she can brush her hair behind her ear. "god, i miss worrying about getting my homework done."

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her ass is not forklift certified.

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@civilserve said: ❛ you’re lucky, you got away with only a scratch. ❜

her heart rattles against her ribcage ⸻ a startled thing seeking flight, all the anxieties of her girlhood turned to ash, a paltry experience compared to the hours turned horrors. she has never been so scared ( a correction: she is less afraid with him ), never felt so delicate, as if she is made of brittle bone and feathery down. baby eagle, through and through. how easy it would be for him to chide her, to leave her behind, to treat her like a child who still looks at the world with wide-eyed wonder, innocent and painfully naive. she appreciates that he does not.

"me?" she fights the urge to prod further, to seek his approval, the confirmation that she is not a burden ⸻ helps however she can, does as told. ignores the thing inside her; ticking time-bomb that it is. "you're the lucky one, leon. i don't know how you haven't broken your back doing all those stunts." be careful, she tells him, in the wavering tones of her voice each time the worry spills over in the deluge of panic when a room is too quiet, too still. is she impressed at each well-aimed shot, each leap of faith? of course. he's a real life action hero. lights, camera, action!

head canted, she smiles. half adrenaline and half relief, knotted balls of stress inside her chest. "could have been a lot worse with those chainsaws, huh? i can't believe you held them off with a knife!"