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I CANT BELIEVE ITS ACTUALLY REAL 🥹

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Okay I want to expand on this since I’ve seen people bring it up again and I’ve said that I don’t like it but never specified why.

The reason I hate the “Jax Is Secretly An NPC” theory is because it’s a cop out (that and I’m pretty sure Gooseworx debunked it but idk). Any of his strange or sadistic behaviour could just be explained away with “he’s not human he doesn’t know any better 🥺” and that would be really shitty writing I’m sorry I hate stuff like that.

That and it would make him infinitely less interesting as a character, just because he doesn’t discuss his past in the bar scene it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have one. He knows what “Breaking Bad” is guys come on if he was an NPC he wouldn’t be making references to stuff he liked in the real world in almost every episode.

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Girl dad DK means everything to me

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The Mimic Fnaf Im sorry I ever doubted you you’re so peak (this is easily the creepiest motherfucker these games have had in YEARS I’m so happy they’re pivoting towards horror again you don’t even know)

Also I don’t give a fuck about Talesgames not being canon I’m just happy that Steel Wool were actually given a clear vision and a story to go off of I just hope they don’t backtrack on any of this

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OH MY GOD THEY’RE FINALLY REAL I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO BE STUCK IN PROTOTYPE LIMBO FOREVER YIPPEEEEEE

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OH MY GOD THESE THINGS ARE ADORABLE???

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Quick gun to your head judge me based on my new laptop layout tick tock

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AFTER MONTHS OF GOING THROUGH THE TRENCHES FOR THIS CHARACTER

SISYPHUS MERCH IS FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENING WE MADE IT SISYFANS 😭🙏

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ALL OF MY THEORIES WERE WRONG EXCEPT FOR THE ANGEL ENEMY ONE HOLY SHIT THIS IS NOTHING LIKE I EXPECTED IT TO BE AND I COULDN’T BE HAPPIER P RANKING THIS SHIT IS GONNA BE A NIGHTMARE CAN’T WAIT

Also the new enemy is called Providence! Love them already :3

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Me after seeing that Toriel comforted Susie during a miserable time in her life and gave her the approval, warmth, and love she could only dream of getting at home only to see her get wasted with the fuckass convenience store guy which implies that Susie’s parents are neglectful drunks since she wanted to get out of Kris’ house immediately after seeing it knowing that it’s permanently changed her view on this motherly figure who she saw as a safe space and a light of hope:

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Oh my god they’re actually going to surpass Violence. Non euclidean level design here we come babyyyy (reveal the Sisyphus body pillow while you’re at it please god)

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FRAUD REVEAL TODAYYYYYY

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It is lmao

I got jumpscared by Bomb Biddies on Twitter cause someone shared a pic of a Gianni Matragrano plush. Why does he got THE most massive tits???

Some serious honkers. A real set of bombdonkers. Packing a lethal amount of dabombhonkeros, double-STACKED. TSA hates him

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It’s accurate at least lmaoooo

I got jumpscared by Bomb Biddies on Twitter cause someone shared a pic of a Gianni Matragrano plush. Why does he got THE most massive tits???

Some serious honkers. A real set of bombdonkers. Packing a lethal amount of dabombhonkeros, double-STACKED. TSA hates him

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Quite possibly the worst reblog I’ve ever received 10/10

•Gets PJ Heywood back to voice him for the first time in 6 years

•British Springtrap is officially here to stay

•Arguably the best Springtrap model ever along with an actual accurate mangled corpse inside the suit

•Absolutely DRIPPING with obnoxious theatre kid energy “I’m the fun one! :D” I’m crying why is he so silly with it 😭

•Like damn I get why the kids willingly followed him now, he’s oddly whimsical which makes his sadism more disturbing to me

•That tidbit about Gabriel :(

•Mocks the Pizzeria Simulator monologue by basically saying “oh yeah the devil loves my work actually Henry + L + ratio + you fell off lmao”

•Confirmation that if Scott had access to voice actors back in 2015 William Afton would’ve talked an unbelievable amount of shit

•Carries a makeshift springlock failure simulator around with him because it’s William Afton he’s always making some crazy shit

•A Fnaf World reference in big 2025

•The Mimic casually hanging out of one of the vents

•Matthew Lillard’s going to be voicing an alternate skin

•Toxic Springtrap gets the glow up of the century

•His music sounding like a mechanical, bastardised version of the Fnaf movie theme

Yeah I think it’s safe to say that WE ARE SO BACK 🗣️🔥

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•Gets PJ Heywood back to voice him for the first time in 6 years

•British Springtrap is officially here to stay

•Arguably the best Springtrap model ever along with an actual accurate mangled corpse inside the suit

•Absolutely DRIPPING with obnoxious theatre kid energy “I’m the fun one! :D” I’m crying why is he so silly with it 😭

•Like damn I get why the kids willingly followed him now, he’s oddly whimsical which makes his sadism more disturbing to me

•That tidbit about Gabriel :(

•Mocks the Pizzeria Simulator monologue by basically saying “oh yeah the devil loves my work actually Henry + L + ratio + you fell off lmao”

•Confirmation that if Scott had access to voice actors back in 2015 William Afton would’ve talked an unbelievable amount of shit

•Carries a makeshift springlock failure simulator around with him because it’s William Afton he’s always making some crazy shit

•A Fnaf World reference in big 2025

•The Mimic casually hanging out of one of the vents

•Matthew Lillard’s going to be voicing an alternate skin

•Toxic Springtrap gets the glow up of the century

•His music sounding like a mechanical, bastardised version of the Fnaf movie theme

Yeah I think it’s safe to say that WE ARE SO BACK 🗣️🔥

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Minos Ultrakill Headcanons Because I’m Bored

•I like to believe that his and Gabriel’s character arcs are inverses of one another, Gabriel started off kind to others and slowly got weighed down by the authority that loomed over him while Minos started off matter of fact and reserved as the judge of hell until the Minotaur incident finally woke him up to his past regrets and his longing to help his people turned him into the kind man his people knew and loved.

•Minos didn’t look down upon other husks for looking less human than him, he saw the humanity that was buried deep down and wanted to show them that while those above may have forgotten them, they can make meaningful connections here as a new start.

•He’s still reserved, but he’s very sociable. His palace must’ve been HUGE so he liked visitors a lot.

•His snakes are called Ariadne and Deucalion.

•His people confided in him regarding their past sins and he often advised them on how to make a better path for themselves going forward.

•Was close friends with the husk who painted his and Sisyphus’ portraits.

•He died before machines even entered hell but if he had to converse with them he would be very confused (albeit welcoming as ever).

•Had a secret portrait done of Pasiphae that he keeps in the darkest depths of his palace as a permanent reminder of his previous sins as to not stray from this path he built for himself.

•He sometimes wonders if some of the husks were subjects of his when they were alive and they just can’t remember it.

•Is the only one who can understand his snakes’ language.

•Really likes plant life, he wanted his people to experience even the smallest of luxuries after all the work they put into rebuilding the city of lust as a paradise (grapes were plentiful).

•The only layers he didn’t travel to in person was Wrath and Violence. Wrath because of its raging waters and overall air of dread reminds him too much of Poseidon. Violence doesn’t need explaining.

•He didn’t feel any kind of dread regarding the return of heavens watchful eye, his heel turn made him believe that if someone who was once as cruel as himself could change, so could those in heaven

•Gabriel knew of the lust Renaissance prior to him being sent down to kill Minos. I like to think the two knew each other pretty well to an extent, meeting when they were at equal levels of whimsy. And when Gabriel began to grow more dower Minos would try and confront him about it but Gabriel would refuse to indulge him every single time (this would be when it’s getting drilled into Gabriel’s head that he’s above everyone around him).

•This is why Minos tried to reason with him without fighting back, he was genuinely caught off guard by his actions, someone who he once saw as a trusted confidant hurting him in this way, and so publicly as well…

•This is why there’s a defaced Gabriel picture in the Greed layer, they saw him as their saviour for so long only to be shown the ugly truth that he is carrying out the very will that keeps them all oppressed. The murder of Minos was THE key event that made most sinners open their eyes to this (except for those in Limbo who are doomed to toil in their delusions until their very bodies wither away to nothingness).

•His disdain of Gabriel isn’t because of how he betrayed him, its because of how he abandoned his once pure beliefs for the hollow words of an oligarchy who cares naught for the god he adored so much, only for the power his influence could give them. He knows Gabriel is better than this, or so he once thought, he made his death public intentionally, he purposefully inflicted horror and grief onto his people just to make a point. And that enraged him beyond belief.

•The Flesh Prison was very tiny haha tiny prison go brrrrr.

•His prime form isn’t very personal to him because his own desires weren’t the thing that pushed him to get this intense a level of determination beyond a physical form, it was his will to do right by his people regardless of the pit they were left in due to his own naivety and pacifism.

•Minos’ voice doesn’t just sound gravely because of his age, it’s because of the eons worth of screams and wails of pain and grief he let out in the flesh prison as he was forced to watch all he and his people worked so hard to build wither away to dust as if none of it mattered.

Case in point this old man deserved better and whatever second life he has it better be in a cottage where him and his snakes wear little hats and get to relax after the classic Greek tragedy that was his previous life.