plaguedoctorshenanigans

[plaguedoctorshenanigans]

how to deal with period cramps?

Heating pad, rest, ice cream, bad romcoms.

[plaguedoctorshenanigans]

I think I scraped my knee a bit. What's the treatment and how much do I pay?

a scarped knee? I’m a doctor, not a father.

[plaguedoctorshenanigans]

[plaguedoctorshenanigans]

hello! where can i get plague doctor training?

hell.

[plaguedoctorshenanigans]

I would like to buy one of your most favorite concoctions. I'm planning a prank on my rival 🧪✨

it’ll give them bone cancer, have fun!

[plaguedoctorshenanigans]

What kind of concoctions do you sell?

the fun kind!

[plaguedoctorshenanigans]

Do you perhaps sell potions?

I have money if you do..

I am no alchemist; but I do hold concoctions.

[plaguedoctorshenanigans]

Scoundrel...I shall come back another time..

-Detective

[just to clarify cuz I forgot to in the other ask I'm not trying to be mean, I'm pretending to be a mean detective ^^]

Have fun, learn lots!

[plaguedoctorshenanigans]

I lost my femur do you happen to sell extras

go check my bone collection

[plaguedoctorshenanigans]

Thanks for trying to heal my wife!

Currency for your troubles! 💰

oh! I suppose I can do a little more for her… remove the paint, and I’ll redirect her.

[plaguedoctorshenanigans]

I find your business to be a shallow respute, Doctor.

-Detective

I find you to be unintelligent in nature, pray thee.

[plaguedoctorshenanigans]

Please?

it has come to my attention that I have been inactive on this blog

send your asks in now, while I’m in the office.

[plaguedoctorshenanigans]

Doctor! My wife says the lead paint in our house is killing her, what shall I do?

Add more lead.

[plaguedoctorshenanigans]

Doctor! My friend apparently caught the sickness going around! What shall I do? :<

dig an adequate grave.

[plaguedoctorshenanigans]

(rich snarky person voice)

I appear to have caught the sickness, what is your advice doctor? Is it curable?

I'm quite the generous patient if you've got the eye for coin ^^

death. I must devour, you, as you are wealthy,I believe in the sentiment of “eating the rich.”

[plaguedoctorshenanigans]

Which Bone is your favourite?

Ribcage. There’s so many ribs, thou never run out!

[plaguedoctorshenanigans]

My organs don’t work no more. What shall I do doctor

Put them in jars and wait a few days.