pocketsize-athena - Tumblr blog

[pocketsize-athena]

Thanksgiving Blues...

Thanksgiving blues... is there such a thing? Well for me, in my case, YES. I know I was the one who elected to work a double today, BUT I lowkey regret it now... I should be spending this day with my family yet I’m over here enslaving myself. Yes money is important BUT to what extent? Will I keep enslaving myself like this spending majority of my time with my coworkers rather than my own family? When am I gonna have a sense of myself back? When will I have my old life back? When will I be truly happen again? I want my old routine back when I would wake up early morning, go to the gym, then go to work. Can I have that schedule back? But then again if I work 40 hours per week instead of the amount I’m working now then my paychecks will be A LOT smaller, and with all of my bills and responsibilities, that is just impossible... BUT then again I need to put myself first and take care of myself first before I can care for others... SIGH... I am so tired of always enslaving myself like this... It would be nice if I can see more money in my bank, but it’s the opposite lol holiday spending? Depressive spending? IDK but yeah anyway my body is feeling really tired and exhausted I wish I was still in bed... hmm what do I do? I don’t even go out and hang out with my friends anymore. I don’t even go on dates anymore. I don’t even have sex anymore. WTH is wrong with me lol am I gonna die alone omg how sad haha jk jk nah I feel like this is the turning point in my life where I will learn everything I need to learn in order to prosper and have a better future. All my past mistakes I feel like I have already paid for. I strongly believe that this is the path that God has paved for me, and I know that He will guide me every step of the way and give me the necessary strength. And I also I see this journey in a positive light because I am finding myself at the same time because I am learning how to be independent and be okay with being alone. I am not lonely- there is a difference. I am okay with being alone and enjoying my own company. I feel like the more I find and work on myself, the closer I am into being with the right one for me- the right person God has for me. I hope soon too. I cannot wait for that moment to come, and I look forward to it. I know it will be a very magical day. 

[pocketsize-athena]

Dear Diary,

Other than my bullet journal, I will be using this platform to vent and share stories of my life anonymously. Hopefully some fellow bloggers will get a chance to read and respond to my posts. My life may seem like it is all sunshine and butterflies, but the truth is, deep down it gets flooded by rain and thunderstorms. Hopefully this platform helps me cope with my daily struggles.