porcelain-quinn-blog - Tumblr blog

[porcelain-quinn-blog]

Serenity Rehab is officially closing, but this account will remain up

OOC:  To anyone following this account, first thank you! I feel honored to have followers that are interested in this character. Second, the mods posted saying that Serenity Rehab is closing and honestly I am truly bummed about it. I liked this rpg, but you know life happens and all that. I've decided not to deactivate or recycle this account. It's going to stay up and periodically I may come back to write one shots of what is going on with Quinn.

So if you are interested in what is happening with Ms. Fabray feel free to ask. If you message off anon I'll just continue to message back privately like I have been doing. If you are on anon of course it will be posted. 

Other characters disclaimer: Seeing how the other players won't be around I can only assume what their characters would do given certain situations. So in the updates for Quinn they will be included because she can't be at Serenity by herself, but no godmodding offense is intended.

Thanks again to everyone who has stuck around with this account, and to those that have messaged in. If you decide to stay that's great. I hope the one shots interest you. If you decide to go, well it was fun while it lasted. :)

[porcelain-quinn-blog]

OOC: Hi. I really loved your Quinn and I really miss her. Are you in any other RPs?

ooc:

Aww Thanks anon! Honestly I really miss this Quinn too. I keep hoping the RPG will start up again. That's why I'm not getting rid of this account or recycling it.

I am in a few other RPs but I don't play Quinn. I play Brittany in a couple and Santana in one other. I'm looking for a new RP to play Quinn, I just haven't found one yet.

If you come off anon I can send you the link to my other RPs. Or if you want to stay on anon and know of an RP that I should look into let me know and I will check it out. I have no idea how long ago you sent this so I hope you get this message.

This is like the sweetest message ever. Thank you so much anon!

[porcelain-quinn-blog]

Quinn wanted this. She needed it. She needed Brittany to understand how much she cared about her, how much she loved her. And despite all the silence, the secrets, the fumbling of words, and missteps in actions, Quinn was going to tell her everything; eventually; soon. All the half-truths, the fudges,  the words carefully omitted, the out and out lies, all would be explained and revealed with honesty and truth.

As Brittany lay hovering over her body, Quinn felt a familiar ache in her chest and pounding pulse between her thighs. Her face flush warm, her skin tingling. She brought her other hand up to cup the left side of Brittany's face, her thumb gently caressing the taller girl's jaw line. Quinn's lips pursued Brittany's taking in every touch and sensation. A light gasp left her lips as she felt soft hands against her skin under her shirt. Her eyes closed tight as she felt Brittany's knee move up between her legs. Her pulse getting faster, the pounding getting stronger. Quinn's right hand moving to tangle fingers in soft blonde locks. The smaller blonde's eyes fluttered open as she felt Brittany pull away. She looked into crystal blue eyes seeing all the love and affection the taller blonde had to give even, if she couldn't say it. A smile took form on Quinn's lips and she giggled slightly. Brittany just made her so happy. She inhaled the sweet smell of the girl's hair as she came back in close. A small moan escaped her throat as she felt Brittany's lips on her neck, gracing her with kisses. She turned her head slightly, her back arching a little to allow more access. Quinn's finger tips trailed down Brittany's sides until they rested on the taller blonde's waist line. The pressing of hips and the touch of a thigh sent waves of electricity through the smaller blonde. Her body reacting by raising her hips and fingers squeezing into soft flesh. Things had often gotten really intense between the two girls before, but one thing or another usually stopped them from giving into their desires. This time the pull to continue was so great, it was very unlikely they would stop. Quinn pressed her middle against Brittany's thigh and bit her bottom lip due to the sensation it caused.

Just Friends || Quitt

In seconds Brittany was hovering over Quinn, her knee slipping between the girls thighs and her weight supported on her elbow by the blondes head. There were about a hundred times since she’s met Quinn that she’d wanted to do this. To pull her close to her and feel their bodies coming together, their hearts beginning to race and their skin starting to warm. They had gotten close before but it’d never felt right, it had always been a little too much but this time Brittany had no plans to stop. As her lips slid gracefully over Quinn’s, opposite hand sliding up under the fabric of the smaller blondes shirt, tracing along her skin to the edge of her bra, Britt could feel the stirring in her lower stomach. The familiar pull that she was completely welcoming now. Quinn had said she loved her, she looked her in the eye and spoke the words with so much honesty that it had to be true, Brittany was never more sure of anything in her whole life but still her own tongue had stilled. Her own words trapped somewhere in her chest, her thoughts to clouded and worried and confused to say what she needed to. So she had let the song speak for her and now she was allowing her body to explain, hovering over Quinn and letting her need take over. 

Pulling her knee up a little the taller girl was seconds from making contact with the girl, she could feel Quinn’s heat against her thigh and the thought of having that affect on the girl sent another flutter of arousal down into her own core. With the corner of her lips turning up in a smile Brittany pulled away to look at Quinn, looking directly into green eyes before leaning back down and starting a trail of wet kisses up the smooth skin of the girls neck. In the next second she simultaneously moved her hand over to cup a bra clad breast and rolled her hips pressing into the girl, feeling her thigh against where she knew Quinn would need it the most and in that moment Brittany decided they were both wearing far to much clothes. 

[porcelain-quinn-blog]

hi

Hello?

anyone?

[porcelain-quinn-blog]

Brittany didn't say anything, but Quinn did get a response to her questions. With Brittany's lips pressed against hers, Quinn melted and her thoughts quieted. She didn't want to think about her mom, Rachel, the baby, or anything else. She just wanted to be there with Brittany. The girl whom she told she loved her, but didn't say it back. Quinn was scared by Brittany's hesitation to speak it, but in that kiss she felt it. Brittany did love her. That's the thought she held in her mind as she felt the warmth from the girl's breath on her lips. She licked the tip of the taller's blonde's upper lip with her tongue and pressed in further to deepen the kiss. Fears and anxieties questioning whether the thought was true threatened to ruin Quinn's feeling of bliss, but she pushed them away. Brittany loved her. She had to hold on to that thought. Quinn wanted it to be true; needed it to be true. As they kissed Quinn lightly cupped the side of the taller girls face with her right hand. She was earnest in her actions, but didn't want to seem like she was using their physical connection to avoid their conversation. She had done that before and she wanted Brittany to know this time was different she wasn't running away; literally or emotionally.

Just Friends || Quitt

Brittany wanted to say yes, to just say what she felt but now something was stopping her. Aside from the fact that they where in rehab it was becoming increasingly clear how complicated the two of them where together. that however didn’t change how Britt felt. It didn’t change the pounding in her chest as the song ended, and the breath that got caught up with her words in her throat or the easy was she leaned over and pulled Quinn up into her, pressing her lips to hers. It was meant to be a simple soft kiss a response in place of words that the taller girl couldn’t muster up but as soon as her lips where on Quinn’s again every worry slipped away. Right there in that moment Brittany could feel it and maybe she was making it up or projecting but the blonde swore she could feel everything off those lips and she wasn’t ready to let that go yet.

Pulling her arm from underneath Quinn, Britt began to shift, coming more up on her elbows to get a better angle  and pressing her kiss further. She was sure she could just lay here and kiss Quinn all day, maybe one day she would. It wasn’t hard to imagine, the two of them held up in a tiny studio loft, with brick walls and the bathtub in the kitchen. Just lounging the day away in each others arms until they got too hungry to stand it anymore and had to get out of bed for food. Five minutes ago the thought would seem like a fantasy but with her tongue swiping across Quinn’s bottom lip and finger tips creeping up under the hem of the smaller girls shirt, it just felt like something they could be working towards. 

[porcelain-quinn-blog]

It's hard, but you will get through it. Most of us feel that way....

forever having the cravings....

ugh i am never gonna end up leaving this place….

[porcelain-quinn-blog]

Quinn nodded in reply to Brittany's request. She put the earbud in her ear and listened to the song, trying to determine why Brittany wanted her to hear it. Quinn sat laying up against the taller blonde's side feeling her heart beat and  listening to the song, listening to the lyrics. One particular part stood out to Quinn.

But I wish I could feel it all for you I wish I could be it all for you If I could erase the pain And maybe you'd feel the same I'd do it all for you I would, I would, I would, I would

After the song was over she took the earbud out of her ear and just looked at Brittany. Looked into the blue circles trying to figure it all out. Attempting to reconcile her feelings with what the taller blonde was trying to tell her. Quinn sat for several moments unmoving just looking at Brittany; boring her eyes into her hoping to catch a glimpse of her thoughts and hopefully relay her earnest feelings. She wrapped her arms around the taller blonde's waist and rested her head on her chest so she could better hear her heart beat. "Is that how you feel? The lyrics in the songs?" Quinn asked softly.

Just Friends || Quitt

The second kiss relaxed Brittany. When Quinn got like this, the taller girl always expected that at any moment the blonde would jump up and walk out. They’d be so close and Brittany could feel Quinn pulling away little by little until her efforts to bring her back were rewarded with little kisses and trusts. Yeah she knew some of Quinn’s story but not nearly as much as she was sure there was. There was something big that she was keeping from her, something that clearly scared or effected the smaller girl so deep it stopped her up every time. Brittany reminded herself that she just needed to be patient and let Quinn have her time but she couldn’t lie it was starting to get to her a little. She wasn’t sure if it was the exhaustion of this routine or her burning curiosity but the taller girl was doing her best to be understanding. 

Knowing the blondes response was just a deflection and not any answer she was looking for, Brittany let out a small sigh and took Quinn’s hand. “Come here.” she said, moving up onto the bed behind her, pulling her with her until the girl was laying up against her side. Wrapping her arm around Quinn, Britt reached over to smooth strands of hair away from the blondes face, peering down at her. This girl wrapped up in her arms was so guarded but she loved Brittany, she’d said so and the taller blonde somehow was certain it was true. How was it possible that she could confess such a thing but not able to talk about others. It was confusing for Brittany. Not that she thought Quinn was hiding some huge secret, really it felt like Quinn was just hiding herself. They all had a past, it came with the territory and Brittany hoped sometime soon she could get the girl to open up a little more. 

Suddenly Brittany realized she’d been caught up in Quinn’s eyes for moments that she’d lost count of, just thinking and she could feel the words bubbling up in her throat and playing across her tongue. ‘I love you too’ was seconds from leaving her lips when she came to her senses and closed her eyes, leaning in to breathe Quinn in. Coming up with the sweet smell of shampoo and an amazing smell she could only describe as Quinnie. After a few moments to let her heart settle, Britt reached into her pocket pulling out her Ipod and unwrapping the ear buds from around it, handing Quinn one. “Listen to this?” She asked hopefully, passing it over to the girl. The fact was maybe she did love Quinn but right now with so much unknown and so much uncertain she couldn’t say it. She’d been in an undefined relationship before and yes it wasn’t the same she could never compare Quinn to Robby but it was too familiar to over look and the blonde just couldn’t afford to feel so vulnerable. Brittany couldn’t say it but she still wanted Quinn to know it, at least a little. So she scrolled to the song that was on her mind and pressed play, one ear bud in her ear the other in Quinn’s, relaxing into the girl and just listening. Hoping Quinn was listening to. 

[porcelain-quinn-blog]

Brittany's laugh, reassuring words, and kiss all should have made Quinn feel better. But all that was racing through her mind was she didn't say it, she doesn't love me. Quinn never expected Brittany to say she loved her. She didn't know if the taller blonde did or didn't; but the absence of the words weighed on her. She decided to lock those thoughts away. Away where she should have kept her feelings for Brittany. Time to put on the mask and tell the truth at the same time. A balancing act she had learned to perfect.

Still leaning with her forehead pressed lightly against Brittany's, Quinn said softly "I'm glad you're not going anywhere." She pulled back from Brittany taking a second to look into her blue eyes, taking in a deep breath then lightly letting it out. She could look into those eyes forever, but she knew she wouldn't. This was rehab and they would probably never speak after each of them left Serenity. That was if they were still speaking after Quinn told Brittany everything. Although the taller blonde said she wasn't going anywhere, Quinn wasn't so sure how she would handle what happened with Rachel. The smaller blonde leaned in and pressed her lips softly to Brittany's. She wished they could just keep doing that instead of talking. She pulled back and contemplated telling Brittany the rest. The baby or Rachel which one would the taller blonde be more likely to accept. Quinn decided to stay quiet about both and go back to her original story. "My mom just didn't make it easy for me to like girls. She, she just made it seem like the worst thing in the world. To her there was nothing worse I could be" she said softly.

Just Friends || Quitt

Brittany let out a small chuckle and she could practically feel it cutting through the tense air. “Quinnie, I don’t think there is anything you could tell me, short from murdering someone, that would make me never want to speak to you again.” Though she did feel her nerves edging at her calm composure, all she realy wanted was for Quinn to feel safe around her. To trust her.

Tipping her head a little, Brittany lifted her hand and brushing back strands of hair from Quinn’s face and running her fingertips along her jaw line. “What ever it is these big secrets are, you don’t have to tell me now. I know its hard for you. Whatever it is I don’t see how it could make me see you differently. The way I feel about you…” Brittany paused, pulling in a breath and holding it, eyes searching hazel ones for a moment before exhaling. “Just say what you feel like you need to and leave the rest for when you can, no pressure.” Leaning in the taller blonde closed the gap between them and pressed her lips lightly to Quinn’s, pressing her forehead to the girls and fluttering her eyes back open. “I’m not going anywhere.” That was true she wasn’t and she didn’t want Quinn to feel pressured into sharing something she didn’t want to but that didn’t keep her curiosity from growing. What was this thing that was so bad Quinn couldn’t bring herself to speak about it? Why is she afraid that Brittany would just walk away? 

[porcelain-quinn-blog]

Quinn sat in heightened anticipation for Brittany to speak. She wasn't sure if she should have told the taller blonde how she truly felt, but it was out there now and she had to deal with the consequences. It was honestly the first time she allowed herself to really think about. The thoughts had crept into her mind before but she never let herself fully realize them; they were always pushed away. Lessons learned from home.

Quinn whispered a "Yes" in reply to Brittany's question. She did mean it, she loved Brittany. However she wasn't sure if Brittany loved her back, or could love her if she told her the whole truth. She just wanted the girl to know how she felt before she ruined everything with the rest of the information she had to tell her. "I love you and I don't really know how to handle it....or what to do about it. Because there are so many things you don't know." Quinn looked down at her hand and began to pick at her nails. "If I told you everything...all the secrets, all the things I have been keeping from you...I'm afraid you will never speak to me again."

Just Friends || Quitt

Hearing that Quinn cared about her and the matter of fact way that the blonde said it, made Brittany’s chest stir. Her cheeks blushing slightly as her lips turned up into a smile. Maybe it was stupid to doubt it, maybe most people don’t need the affirmation to believe it like Brittany did but she couldn’t help the feeling of relief that was coming over her. The raw truth in Quinn’s words was evident, there was no doubt that there was so much behind the simple words. Brittany knew this was hard for Quinn, admitting her fears, so she slid herself closer to the smaller girl looping her arm around Quinn’s back and pulling her closer. Listening.

Hanging on every word, listening to the girls story, she was truly trying to understand. When Quinn reached a pause the taller girl immediately recognized it as her pulling back. Coming to some wall that Brittany was not yet allowed access too. She was right in the middle of thinking that Quinn Fabray was like this giant puzzle with all these different intricate unique pieces that she wanted to find and piece together, when the words hit her ears. Blinking twice all she could do was stare at Quinn trying to process what the blonde had said. ‘I love you…’ It had not been expected, the sudden turn in the girls story making Brittany feel silent.

“You… Love me?” The taller blonde said slowly, finally getting her voice back. She cleared her throat and tucked some of her hair back behind her ear as she looked away, for some reason suddenly feeling a little shy. “Do you really mean that?” Brittany continued at a more normal speaking pace, though her words almost a whisper.

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Quinn bit her lip as Brittany spoke. She knew the taller blonde was right. Quinn was being unfair to her. She needed to tell her the truth; about everything. She just wasn't sure she could. There was just so much to tell and it was all so hard. Between her past outside of Serenity, her true feelings for the blonde, and then what happened with Rachel in the music room, Quinn was sure it would all be too much. If not for Brittany, for herself. She wasn't sure she could confront all her of demons at once; she had spent so much time and energy burying them. Quinn knew she at least had to tell Brittany how she really felt about her. She owed her that much.

"I'm sorry if things seem one sided. I never meant to make you feel that way. I just thought....with everything....with everything that was going on between us you would know how much I care about you. I never thought I had to say it. I guess I didn't want to say it, because that would make it real...and that scares me. It scares me for so many reasons." Quinn stopped and looked away, looking around the room. She wasn't sure where to go next, there was just so much stuff. She decided to just start from the beginning. Without looking at Brittany she hesitantly began, "You're not the first girl I have ever kissed. There was someone before you and....it didn't go well. Her parents sent her away and my mom she.." Quinn tilted her head back looking up slightly; she shook it with a sad laugh, "She went ballistic. I've never seen her that mad. Not even when I..." she stopped and looked down. Was she ready to tell Brittany the worst thing she had ever done? The thing that haunted her nights and made sure she never slept. Before Quinn could do that she felt like she had to tell Brittany something else. "Brittany" she said softly, looking down at first, but then looking up to meet blue eyes "I love you...and it scares me to death."

Just Friends || Quitt

Brittany pressed her lips together, thinking Quinn’s words over and letting her finish. “I Agree, we should talk about things… but I’m not really sure what those things are Quinnie.” Biting the inside of her lip she brought her eyes back up to meet hazel ones. Leaning in to press a kiss to Quinn’s temple she paused for a minute to feel the girls pulse against her lips. “I don’t know what it is that your not telling me but you can trust me, I trust you… I have trusted you. I know it must be really important things so I don’t want to push you ever but…” She shrugged. “I dunno I guess all of this.” The taller girls hand coming up to gesture between them “It feels one sided. Even what you said, about it being easier not to talk about it.” Brittany looked away across the room letting her eyes run over the art hanging on her wall. “Easier for you. Its the exact opposite for me I need to know. Where we stand, what we are, what you feel. If I don’t know how am I supposed to know how to feel? What to let myself feel… I get that its confusing but its confusing for me to Quinn.” Looking down at their hands together between them, Brittany lifted them kissing the back of Quinn’s hand. “I don’t like secrets, even little ones.” She said finally lifting blue eyes to scan over. “If you need time that’s fine but don’t let me get so close to you just to take it back.” The tone in her voice so precise she was surprising even herself. Where she had gotten all of this clarity she wasn’t sure but the blonde was positive that she meant it. 

[porcelain-quinn-blog]

Maybe...just nervous. Can't imagine what she would write after all this time. Maybe daddy is letting me come home.

A letter came in today from my mom....

[porcelain-quinn-blog]

A letter came in today from my mom....

It's the first time I've heard from my parents since I got here....

Should I open it?

[porcelain-quinn-blog]

Shane, Santana, Rachel, Brittany... Anyone else you'd like to fuck up?

What are you talking about? I haven't fucked up anyone. What have I done to any of these ladies? You're not making sense anon.

[porcelain-quinn-blog]

are you in love

Maybe yes

[porcelain-quinn-blog]

do you think you are better now

I'm better than I was when I first got here. So I guess...yes, I'm better.

[porcelain-quinn-blog]