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portraitavengers · 6 years ago

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Portrait

Chapter 10 - Is this what I wanted?

Three weeks later

'Just get through the day, like yesterday’ Lila mentally told herself, each and every new morning that presented itself. She knew exactly what lay ahead in the coming hours. Her handler had made sure of that, made sure that she didn’t stick out from the crowd, that she got up went to work before coming home once more. This was her daily cycle, whilst being watched at every turn, no matter where she went.

This was it, a humdrum existence that she had wanted but yet at the same time, it felt bland and empty. As if it lacked something, that she could simply not name. Lila knew that something was missing in new existence that had to accept was her own. This sense of peace that she had strived for so long was incomplete.

Lila could not help but miss the days that passed, those coffee mornings that filled a void in her day. Then it hit her, even though now she knew that moments had been staged, she no longer cared. She had forgiven Agent Cade for the deceit as for once again, she hadn’t been truly alone in this world.

Her shoulders dropped very so slightly, as the weight of realization set in. This was her bed and now she must lie in it. It was going to be lonely world for her but this was her price was anonymity in truly connected universe.

The scale had shifted against her, she had been toppled into a world spinning out of her control. She had to just take one more step out of her homely styled prison cell, out into the sunlight with her fractured mask displayed for all to see but they would never see what was concealed beneath.

Her eye flicked up to take in the time from across the room, to see how much time she had left. The edge of her lips briefly curled as she realised that she was running rather early. There was nothing special about the day, it was just another dull day. One that she would breeze through, just like all the others.

Pulling her gaze away from the clock, she returned her former task as she closed the threshold into the hall, letting the door swing shut behind her. Each step had felt heavy, as if chains had been wrapped her ankles weighing her down as she made her way down the hallway, passing each apartment door as she went. Lila knew that Agent Carter would be up and moving about, handling her laundry. Her routine was stiff and structured, everything decision was heavily thought out then actioned with her guard held high.

Lila had come to see how high those wall went, too high to be simply climbed over or torn down without a fight. She was woman protecting herself, like Lila was. They were just at different ends of the road. Lila Wright was at end staring back at a woman whom she may one day become. Once she had been the centre of someone else’s world, but that had been a lifetime ago. Her heart had soared, burning brightly for all to see. For Alexander, that sneaky thief of man had stolen and claimed it for his own, storing comfortably it next his. Trying to keep it and her feeling safe and loved. Oh and he had.

She hadn’t truly felt complete, Alexander had been her safe place. His love had illuminated her world but not completely lit it up with all the colors of the rainbow bursting like fireworks in the night sky . She had confessed her strangeness, all of it to him and he had taken it to heart, taken it in his stride. He had been a most perplexing man to behold. He had tried when others would have stepped aside. He had not completely understood the depths of her emotions but he wanted her to be happy. He had wanted to simply be a part of her life, one way or another. Lila had let him in, under her defences and into her heart.

She had felt better, lighter and starting down a road to discover who she was with him by her side. Then her whole world had been consumed, he had been swallowed by the outbreak of war. He had been taken from her, sent to the front lines and walked straight to his death.

Lila’s feet led her down the hallway, as she mused over the past, over the last man she had truly let in. This was a familiar path, one that she walked daily back and forth. She knew where she was going, her eyes remain fixed to the floor knowing that hardly any of her fellow tenants would be leaving their homes anytime soon. The last two weeks walking these halls at this hour of the morning, she could count on one hand the number of encounters she had with other people.

Three times she had found herself face to face with another person in one of the deserted hallway of her floor. Most of the time they had been coming into the building as she was leaving it. Each encounter had been civil but brief, lasting only a moment or two with only a hello being exchanged between them. It had always left her feeling empty, more lonely than before. As if no-one truly cared.

She had been too lost in her own thoughts to notice the sound of approaching footsteps. Lila just continued on her way, each step drawing her closer to collision. Life had halted in every way that Lila could think was possible. Being as closely monitored as she was, didn’t leave much room for a blossoming personal relationships. Friends were almost out of the question, as she could no longer tell who was an Agent and who was a true innocent civilian who just wanted to connect.

To connect like she had with Agent Cade, it would be a start at the very least. Something that she could work with, something that could be deepen if time was on her side. Then again time was all she had these days. Lila could not help but scoff, remembering where she had been. She had been hiding from the world, wanting nothing more than fade into the background and exist through the next few years. Now here she was, wrapped up in cotton wool, just part of the furniture, part of the scenery.

She was anonymous

Once now that she had found herself in a place that she had almost wishing for on a daily basis, did she see the truth of her reality. This was what she was not wanted. Far from it, her need to hide was simply blanketing something far greater, that had been pulling at her heartstrings silently in the background. Loneliness. Agent Cade had reopened a wound that she had long since healed over, before tossing it into the depths of her mind. Into a small, cold cage that could be easily forgettable, buried with the pain of the memories that were intertwined with that particular emotion.

Protection from the agony of losing another friend, another lover. Lila had simply been safeguarding her own heart, her own self from having to go through those distressing, soul destroying motions again. She had told herself this often, how could she not? Alexander’s death had torn her heart into a million million tiny shards. It had taken a decade to even begin to glue those fragile pieces back together, to try and form that broken heart of hers again.

The first week had been a breeze, as she came to terms with the new routine that she had been given. Get up, go to work, come home, spend the evening at her leisure, go to sleep then rinse, latter and repeat the next morning. However by the second week, cracks had started to form in the monotonous way that her life had become. Doubts had started to emerge when she lay in bed, thinking over her day. Nothing major changed from day to day. It was always remarkable similar to the one that came before.

When week three had come around, then Lila had seen the light. No-one knocked at her door, there were no friendly neighbours who wanted a chat, to borrow this or that. They were singular individuals who wanted to live life without interference, without interruption that came with social interactions with those they shared a floor with. This very notion that caused the doubts to spring open, crack her thoughts, desire and notion forcing to take a hard glance at her life. Seeing what had always been there, to see what she had hidden away.

Lila, too deep in thought to notice as she collided with the solid frame of someone else. It was not hard enough to knock her off her feet but she did not faze her. She did not notice the bare skin of her wrist and palm connecting with another. As she began to walk away, Lila couldn’t help notice the way that the vision in her left eye began to blur. It was as if she wandered haphazardly into a wall of fog drifting upwards to cloud her way. However it dissipated as quickly as it had appeared. Lila’s feet ground to halt, as she tried to process what just had occurred. The penny quickly dropped, she had made direct skin to skin contact with another. She didn’t dare to look over her shoulder, instead she chose to keep her eyes fixed upon the path ahead and continue on her way. Choosing to block out that little voice in the back of her mind, telling her to stop and do what she born to do. Heal those cry out, be the one to take the agony and bare with smile.

‘You were born to heal Lila’ Elise had told her time and time again but once more she pushed back, locking away that thought train, knowing exactly where it would lead. She shook her head, pulling herself back into reality. “I need to get a move on, I don’t want to miss my train for the second time this week” She muttered softly to herself, knowing that there was enough distance between herself and stranger to finally speak.

If Lila had dared to glance back then she would have noticed him looking perplexed at her disappearing form as she walked out of sight, as the cogs in his mind turned, trying to process what had occurred in this narrow hallway.

Her path had taken another corner, one step closer to a head on collision with a fate that she been running from since day one. Since secrets had been traded over a steaming hot cup of tea long ago. Elise’s influence still lingered, barely holding onto Lila’s coat tails. As she tried to steer her dear friend closer to the end goal, a true sense of happiness which had leaked out through the cracks of a damaged heart. Much like a tap that hadn’t completely been shut off, dripping quietly in the background.

Happiness had been draining away from Lila’s life, each new death had caused a the tap to burst into life. A stream of raw emotion had drained away in quick rush of water down the drain of life. The world around Lila had turned a washed out shade of what was. Colour had all but vanished, more so with each passing year. The portrait of the world had faded quicker that art that hung silently for years in galleries across the world. Not that Lila noticed much change in her surroundings. Too many years had passed with this new normal for her to see any difference in the colour of sky, of the grass or even her own eyes. She had all but forgotten the true colour of once vibrant gaze.

There hadn’t been a second thought of such things, there was simply no need. This was her world, her dank ashen, lacklustre world. One that would last as she long as she did.

#portrait #polyamory #poly avengers #portrait the fanfiction #steve rogers x oc x tony stark #steve rogers x oc #tony stark x oc #slowburn #Oc x character #ocappreciation #update

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portraitavengers · 6 years ago

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Portrait

Chapter 9 - Number 13 as years go by

Tick Tock goes the clock on the wall, Lila’s eyes were transfixed upon the pair of hands as they slowly made their journey around from one side to the other. She sighed heavily, three months had passed without a problem. This handler of hers had not made themselves known. No knock at the door or casual meeting in the hallway between neighbours who wanted to make small talk about this or that.

Lila couldn’t bare to wait inside for another second longer, she moved towards the door. She had been far too patient, waiting for this mystery person to make themselves known to her. To sudden appearance out of left field, when it was convenient to them. This was an arrangement that was grating on her last nerve.

She pulled her front door open, revealing the deathly silent hallway. No one would be awake at this early hour of the morning. Unless they were night owls working the graveyard shift, preferring the unsociable hours to escape the general hustle and bustle of the masses. Lila doubted that her neighbours were quite like this, she had started to notice patterns in their comings and goings with all the free time that she presently possessed.

She pulled the door slowly towards her back, trying to minimise the sound. She needed not to caught, she needed to make a break for freedom. Lila wanted to disappear into the night once more. Taking a few deep breaths, she took a few steps away from the door and towards that goal.

With her head held down, Lila passed the first few doors, they all remain silent and closed. This was a sign, waves of confidence rushed up from her toes. She continued on, her stride wider and fast as she made her way down towards the stairwell. She was too lost in her mission to notice a door had open.

“Out of a nightly stroll Miss Wright?” A voice called out from behind her, making Lila stop in her tracks. She froze in place, knowing that she had been stopped, discovered. She tried turning her head to look over her shoulder to see who it was. To see which one of them was awake and in the hall with her. She couldn’t turn her head far enough around. Lila had no choice but to turn around.

She soon found herself turned around, facing the way that she come from. Her eyes quickly landed upon the open door, finding a blonde haired woman leaning against the wooden doorframe.

“I was unable to sleep” Lila found herself answering, as she realised this woman knew who she was, yet her face was unfamiliar. Lila had not seen in her in passing in the last three months, not even for but a moment. Then a thought dropped through the confusion, maybe this was one that she was waiting for.

“I highly doubt that Miss Wright, I was planning to introduce myself in the morning” Frustration wrapped around the words as the blonde woman spoke, annoyed by this sudden change in her plans. “Yet here we are, I am your handler. Agent Sharon Carter but to prevent my cover being blown, you will call me Kate” She started briefly explaining the details but this was far from the right place for such a private conversation.

Agent Carter placed her hand upon her head out of sheer annoyance for this sudden change in her plans, but she needed to call it a night. “We will continue in the morning, right Miss Wright?”

Lila stiffly nodded in reply, stunned by this strange interaction in the middle of the night in an empty hallway. “Sure but I have…” She started but the blonde agent interrupted her flow.

“I don’t doubt that you have many questions but in the morning. Good night Miss Wright” with that the conversation was over. Agent Carter didn’t hesitate to drift back into her apartment, closing the door, leaving Lila alone with her thoughts. She had a choice then a there, standing in the middle of empty corridor. Leave or go back to her apartment and wait for the morning. She torn between the two options. This was the moment that she had waited three months for, could she wait one more night?

She had waited this long, she sighed once more before making her decision. Lila headed home, to sleep and discover what tomorrow revealed

Three years later

The early morning sun begun to breach the horizon, soon it would be shining down brightly, reflecting itself back upon the water of the lake that stood at the steps of the Lincoln memorial with greenery of the surrounding area, which would soon be soaking up the light of the dawning sun hidden below.

It was a beautiful day, perfect for jogging around the area for both exercise and sheer pleasure. This was the reasoning that Sam Wilson had as he began his lap, all whilst knowing that another would be running the same daily route as him. Maybe today, he would be finally say hi.

The great city of Washington D.C dwelled mere feet away, framing the sweeping, quiet park with it’s majesty. Forever reminding anyone who dared to glance backwards of the history that came with such a city, a crowning jewel where the country had been build up from. Sam felt a wave of proudness rise from deep within, as he slowly jogged on.

“On your left” He heard shouted from behind him, as a blonde haired muscular man, with a familiar face caught up with, before quickly dashing past him. That kind smile that blurred as the man disappeared into the distance continuing on with his lap. Sam did not think anything of, shaking his head chuckling to himself before he heard the sound of approaching footsteps from behind him once more.

“On your left” Came once again, from the same male voice as he lapped Sam. “Uh-huh on my left, got it.” He called back as he continued on his own lap. He had not answered before now. He tried to concentrate on controlling his breathing, as he pushed his body forward around his familiar haunt.

The familiar fast paced footsteps echo from behind once more, Sam knew what was coming. He knew that this man was going to shout out as he passed him by. “Don’t say it, Don’t say it” He shouts out in frustration, as the blonde rushes past. For a moment, there was silence but soon came a call.

“On your left” Came for a third time, “COME ON!” Sam shouted loudly, showing his annoyance and frustration. He pushes on, rounding the corner, trying to catch up with him. His pace quickens but it is not enough to run shoulder to shoulder with the blonde man. His breathing deepens, as his lungs begin to burn. He knows now that he will not be able to reach the other’s man pace. It is simply impossible feat. He has to stop, just to catch his breath for a moment.

He slows his pace, until he comes to complete standstill before struggling over to rest beneath a tall tree. His breathing fast and unsteady as he stands there, shaded by the leaves and branches high above his head. Beads of sweat drip down his face, leaving wet streaks in their wake before he slides down the trunk to sit at the base of the tree with his back against the bark. The grass rustles as someone approaches, Sam looks up, as soon as he sees a shadow at his feet.

“Needs a medic?” The same voice as before questions, worry and concern mingled amongst the words. He lifts his head, with his breathing returning, slowing back down. The pain and burning in his lungs dissipating away which was soon replaced with laughter.

“I need a new set of lungs” Sam jokingly said before continuing to speak “ You ran like thirteen miles in thirty minutes” Surprise and confusion lingered as he spoke, shocked that such a feat would be even remotely possibly but this man had done such a thing. He could not hazard a guess at the extent.

“I guess I got a late start” His fellow runner answer explaining away for his actions. Sam couldn’t hold his response back, it had lingered upon the edge of his tongue for but a moment before suddenly falling.

“Oh, really? You should be ashamed of yourself. You should take another lap” His words were softly scolding the man for his actions but there was no malice in his words. Sam found it easy to banter with this blonde stranger. He hesitated for a moment before speaking again but this time with a more playfully sarcastic tone. “Did you just take it? I assumed you just took it” The reply was one that he wasn’t expecting to hear.

“What unit you with?” The man said, with a curiosity that was almost tangible as he spoke. Sam’s eyebrows lifted in surprise but soon enough he answered honestly. “Eighth, Pararescue. But now I'm working down at the VA. Sam Wilson” He introduced himself finally, the blonde held his hand out in direct response to his words.

“Steve Rogers” He replied with a small smile upon his lips. Sam’s thoughts on how this man had been confirmed. Captain America, the man frozen in time. The sun shone brightly over their heads, as the pieces began to fall into place. He had considered the possibility that this man might of been Captain Steve Rogers who had saved the world twice.

“I kind of put that together. Must have freaked you out coming home after the whole defrosting thing” He said confirming what he already knew to Steve before sheepishly changing the topic, not wanting to make the conversation anymore awkward than it already was. “It takes some getting used to. It's good to meet you, Sam” Steve spoke, honesty rung through. He was slowly getting used to the fact that he was struck here, seventy years in the future leaving those he knew in the past, behind him with no way of them catching up with him. He turns to leave, it’s time to head back home. Sam could tell that something was bothering Steve, why else would he be out here to run, clearly not to see the sights. He was running to escape the thoughts rushing through his mind.

“It's your bed, right?” Sam questioned, he had seen the signs before. The question had stopped Steve in his tracks, he turned his head to look back at the man before turning to completely face him. “What's that?” Steve replied, wanting to see where this line of question was leading.

“Your bed, it's too soft. When I was over there I'd sleep on the ground and use rock for pillows, like a caveman. Now I'm home, lying in my bed, and it's like.. ” Sam explained, remembering those nights vividly, as if it had only been yesterday. Those nights were unforgettable. He stopped mid-sentence as he tried to find the right word to explain the feeling of laying in bed at night away from the sounds and horrors theatre of war.

“Lying on a marshmallow. Feel like I'm gonna sink right to the floor” Steve finished the sentence for him, knowing what Sam felt at night, for he had experienced it each and every night that he laid his head down to sleep. Sam could only smile back at Steve, words had escaped him as the blonde man had hit the nail on the head. Understanding exactly what he went through when his head meet the soft pillow upon the bed.

“How long?” Steve was curious about Sam, he could easily see a few similarities between himself and this man stood mere feet away. He could understand the struggles of coming away from the field of war. They were men who had been rearranged and scarred by their experiences, by what they saw and lived through.

“Two tours” He started, each time he had gone back, Sam knew that he had returned a slightly different man. He was happy to be home but yet memories of war remained at the forefront of his mind haunting him from the moment that he closed his eyes.

“You must miss the good old days, huh?” He continued speaking as he crossed his arms, this time bouncing the question back to Steve’s court. He wanted to dig a little deeper, hoping that he would answer. He was pleasantly surprised to see that Steve had returned his verbal serve as he began to speak.

“Well, things aren't so bad. Food's a lot better, we used to boil everything. No polio is good. Internet, so helpful. I've been reading that a lot trying to catch up” Steve reminisced, speaking for the both past and present. Remembering days with his mother when she would boil his clothes clean but things had rapidly moved on since then, without him.

“Marvin Gaye, 1972, "Trouble Man" soundtrack. Everything you've missed jammed into one album” Sam offered up, it was something that he had fond memories of, days and nights that spend jamming to that album brought a smile to his face. Those were good days, days before he went off to war like a good soldier.

Steve nodded, eagerly listening to the suggestion that had been freely offered up to him. “I'll put it on the list” He replied, as he pushed a hand into his pocket, pulling out a small notebook and pen. He was going to add this to his growing list of events, music, movies and food that he had missed out on. Things to experience, moments to make. He scribbles down the title of the album at the bottom of the list but before he could thank Sam, he heard the now familiar sound of his phone going off in his other pocket, alerting him that a message had just come through.

Steve’s eyes takes in the message, quickly reading what was written on the small screen before he then raises his gaze to meet Sam’s again before speaking and holding his hand as a sign of a friendly parting of ways. “Alright, Sam, duty calls. Thanks for the run. If that's what you wanna call running” His words joking poking at the other man. Sam chuckles before quickly taking the hand offered to him, before shaking it.

“Oh, that's how it is?” He teased back, the mood becoming lighter than before. It was almost as if they had been friends for years, teasing and poking fun at one another “Oh, that's how it is” Steve said without hesitation returned the quip, his smile reaching his eyes. It felt good to connect with a fellow soldier. Steve turns once more, to walk away.

“Okay. Any time you wanna stop by the VA, make me look awesome in front of the girl at the front desk, just let me know” Sam offered, laughing as he spoke knowing that there were other veterans like Steve who could always use a place to meet fellow soldiers, who understand what it was like going from the battlefield to home, struggling to adjust and accept the peace. Steve turned back around, to face Sam again to listening to his words, to his offer. “I'll keep it in mind.” Steve replied, with a smile upon his lips and promise lingering in his words as he spoke.

“Okay” Sam responded quickly as the sound of car engine grew louder, closer. A black car with tinted windows pulled up on the curb beside them. The passenger side window rolled down, to revealed a red haired woman behind the wheel. “Hey, fellas. Either one of you know where the Smithsonian is? I'm here to pick up a fossil.” She calls out to them, there was a playfulness to her words as she spoke. She was teasing them, well one of them at least.

“That's hilarious.” Steve answers as he makes his way over to the parked vehicle. He reached for the door handle, pulling it open and without hesitation got it beside the woman. Sam took in the picture before him, a beautiful car with a just as beautiful woman driving it around the city. He wasn’t going to miss the chance to say something. “How you doing?” He flirted, smiling at her taking in what he could see. “Hey” She answered back, with a quick greeting.

“Can't run everywhere” Steve said, breaking the silence that had lingered in the moments after Natasha had spoken. “No you can’t” Sam called back, taking one final look at both Steve and the red haired woman before the window quizzed back and the car darted away. What a strange morning it had been for him, he had not expected this when he had left home.

London, England

Wolfe Ltd

Whispers in the dark had not failed to reach across the pond. She was still alive, Lila Wright was still out there. She had fallen off their radar for a few years but she would always reappeared. It had been her way for years. Lila was creature of habit, always reinventing herself in a town where no-one knew her story, her long entangled history that spanned decades.

“You never change, do you” A feminine voice spoke, looking down at the photo that sat in the centre of her desk. “We’ve got your back Lila, We Wolfes are just as loyal as the animals whose name we bear” They continued, a friendliness lingered in the words as if they had been friends for years but this was not the case. Sybil Colvin-Wolfe had never had the chance to meet the woman in question. Her beloved had always told her that Lila wasn’t ready, that she had been avoiding them for decades. For Elise had left instructions and warnings in her will for those left behind, and for those who were not yet born.

“Maybe it’s time we met and welcomed you back in the fold like Elise did all those years ago” She said loudly to the empty room, the words echoing back to her as they bounced off the walls. She smiled widely, before pressing the intercom. “Joseph, can you let the Missus and Kia know, that I’ll be late home tonight. I have a important meeting to prepare for. One that simply can’t wait” She said through the speaker to her trusty assistant, she hated missing dinners with both of her lady loves but this was something that could not be put on hold. Lila Wright might not be ready but the Wolfe family was.

It was time for a reunion, that was had been put on hold for far too long

#portrait #polyamory #poly avengers #portrait the fanfiction #tony stark x oc #steve rogers x oc x tony stark #steve rogers x oc #slowburn #Oc x character #ocappreciation #update

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