positively-bpd

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Follow my mental health blog:

@the-lifeof-a-borderline

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What Can I Do // Independent Together (requested by @clairaquos)

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“If someone doesn’t care to accept you, respect you, believe in you, don’t hesitate to move on and let them go. There are many who love and appreciate you just the way you are.”

— Amaka Imani Nkosazana

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“You weren’t ready to be loved the way I loved you. I learned the hard way that no amount of genuine love would have ever been enough to outweigh all the fear, doubt and self hate within you. I hope one day you’ll find the courage to stop planting and watering those toxic thoughts about yourself and others. I hope you’ll plant a garden filled with trust, hope, self love, and compassion instead, and its gates will be open to everyone to eat from its nourishing fruits, to lay in the shade of its deeply rooted trees, and feel safe.”

— @anna-learns-to-love-herself

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14 things I learned after a toxic relationship:

1. Sometimes you just need to be alone no matter how lonely you get..

2. When you look back you’ll remember that it wasn’t all bad, and this will fuck you up. You have to remember everything that was bad too, the bad is just as important as the good. Do not get confused.

3. Your heart will ache and break. You will miss them. Do not call. Do not message them. Leave them blocked, trust me.

4. Delete all of your pictures. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. It will be hard, and you will hesitate, you may even cry, but delete them. They’re just empty memories.

5. Once a liar, always a liar.

6. Take care of yourself first. Be selfish. Surround yourself with everything that makes you happy- friends, books, naps. It doesn’t matter. You need to love yourself and be the happiest you can be first.

7. Don’t message their friends asking how they are. Remember, they probably don’t care how you’re doing. It’ll just leave you with a bigger pit in your stomach.

8. DO NOT FIND A REBOUND. Let yourself be broken for a while. Reconstruct yourself. You need it. Do not get under someone to get over someone else.

9. If you have any of their things at this point, burn them. Seriously, it’s worth it. (And it feels great!!)

10. Let go. This is the most important. You have to be strong enough to move on and live your life and let go. Don’t reminisce on what could’ve been or should’ve been. Don’t think back and blame yourself for their mistakes. Let it go, it’s their loss.

11. Spread your curtains open and crack your window- nature is the best antidepressant.

12. Wash. Your. Sheets. Get rid of every energy, negative or positive that belonged to your relationship. Get rid of their touch and their scent, you don’t need it anymore.

13. Open up. Don’t let your thoughts and emotions bottle up. Write them down, talk to a friend, scream it at the top of a mountain, but never let it sink so far inside you that you’re too scared to speak.

14. Remind yourself that your happiness is coming. You will find the one, even if you think there is no hope. Just wait. Be patient.

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Remember #10

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seriously christ besides the intense emotions the fear of abandonment is so fucking high in terms of me relating to bpd its overwhelming

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the fear of rejection and abandonment is still so fucking high and intense for me even after almost a year of dbt and i just wish i felt i could handle it without shaking and sweating

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i dont think it’s good to just expect rejection but it’s such a hallmark of my condition that i feel it in my bones, as a reflex and it makes me want to die

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self hatred’s really settling in tonight

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10 Important Steps to Recovery

1. Believe that you can have a new, and better, future.

2. Believe that you can get there – one step and day at a time.

3. Allow yourself to really feel your feelings.

4. Don’t judge yourself for what happened in the past.

5. Know your triggers.

6. Have a plan to cope with your triggers.

7. Challenge negative and self-defeating thinking.

8. Seek out healthy and inspiring role models.

9. Accept yourself completely.

10. Practice self-care.

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do i hate myself this much? the answer is: yes

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only comfort // 04.21.19

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9. Not being able to walk normally because I feel people looking at me