prattling-she-elf

[prattling-she-elf]

Yes! YES!

This is exactly why I can't bring myself to hate the Valar (or even be really that mad at them).

They are just trying their best and making stupid mistakes in the process just like every other damn character in the history of Arda!

The Valar and their action and non-action (especially in the first age and leading up to it) are a complicated subject to say the least, but one part of it, to me at least, is that the Valar so did not sign up for this.

Think about it--Eru shows them a vision of a created world, then they figure out that they have to create it themselves; ok, fine, Manwe and Ulmo have a great time making weather systems, Aule fashioning the mountains, Yavanna her plants, etc. They're having a great time (minus Melkor's interference) literally world-building. This is largely what they are good at and what they want to do.

They did not sign up to deal with political crises, personal/family crises, morality crises, and war, they were probably never intended to have to deal with this in Iluvatar's perfect world, and they are bad at it.

None of this is meant to excuse their, uh...less than stellar decisions, but this post isn't about those, it's about the context of the Valar signing up Minecraft in Creative mode and not only getting thrown into Survival, but also thrown into adjudicating elf drama, elf marriage/life/death metaphysics, and kinslayings.

Admittedly, they put themselves in a position of authority over the elves, but I still don't think they expected all of that, especially not before they entered Arda, when all they wanted to do was create a beautiful world for the children of Iluvatar.

And then it all went to hell.

[prattling-she-elf]

I was just reading through some of these tags and....

@adibkhorram you gave me a good laugh with those.

I was wondering if anyone would notice that.

So for an explanation:

Yeaaaah, so this post might have come out of the time when I was frantically trying to keep track of the House of Finwë for a fanfic I'm writing.

The fanfic is set (mostly) in Valinor before its darkening, so the family tree I made (to keep track of all these bastards) is labeled in Quenya and sometimes uses their epessë instead as a reflection of the MC's pov.

And @ceescedasticity that's also why Amarië is just kinda hanging out there randomly.

Anyway, there you have it, for anyone who was wondering why that snippet of the family tree is so odd.

Can we take a moment to talk about that generation that consisted mainly of the grandchildren of Finwë?

I mean, look at this:

Dead, Good as Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Only Alive Because Her Family Had the Presence of Mind to Stop Her, Dead, Dead, Dead, Survived.

Galadriel really was the only one who survived.

And this hits me hard when I think about it.

Because a writer puts a bit of themselves in every character.

The part of Tolkien that I see the most in Galadriel is the part of him that survived the war.

After all, he was part of the Lost Generation. Two of his closest friends—Robert Gilson and Geoffrey Smith—died in the war. Tolkien and Christopher Wiseman were the only two of their fellowship to survive.

Only Galadriel survived.

That was what the Grandchildren of Finwë were. They were the Lost Generation. An entire generation slaughtered.

The regret, the lamentation, the grief. Galadriel knew it well. She lived it because Tolkien lived it.

And I don't know why, but for some reason, this speaks to me louder than any history book ever has.

[prattling-she-elf]

and just like that, our heroes are gone! finrod is dead, beren is dying, and - OH MY VALAR HERE COMES LUTHIEN WITH A STEEL CHAIR

[prattling-she-elf]

Pretty sure that Éowyn also has a horse named Windfola.

Oh a happier note, I think that if you include the women named in the Silmarillion, The Lost Tales, etc. that you have more named women overall than named equines (including the few that are also named in those books).

I would tally them up, but I feel lazy at the moment.

Their horses were strong and of proud bearing, but rough-haired; and one stood there without a rider, Aragorn's own horse that they had brought from the North; Roheryn was his name.

Cheerful thought: Tolkien named all the horsies! 💕🐎💕

Less cheerful thought: Are there more named horses than named women in this book?

[prattling-she-elf]

Frodo Laid a Geas (and other invisible magic)

This was so obvious when I realized it, but I think most people miss it, because we’re so desensitized by D&D-style magic with immediate, visibly, flashy effects, rather than more subtle and invisible forces of magic. When Gollum attacks Frodo on the slopes of Mount Doom, Frodo has the chance to kill him, but he doesn’t. Instead, he says:

Frodo: Go! And if you ever lay hands on me again, you yourself shall be cast into the Fire!

Frodo’s not just talking shit here. He is literally, magically laying a curse. He’s holding the One Ring in his hands as he says it; even Sam, with no magic powers of his own, can sense that some powerful mojo is being laid down. Frodo put a curse on Gollum: if you try to take the Ring again, you’ll be cast into the Fire.

Five pages later, Gollum tries to take the Ring again. And that’s exactly what happens. Frodo’s geas takes effect and Gollum eats lava.

[prattling-she-elf]

First off, I love the combination of realism and "come on, we are talking about magic" when speculating on what Glamdring would have looked like, but I do have a crucial point to make here.

We can definitively say that Glamdring is a straight blade (more like the aforementioned spathion) and is not curved in any way (like a katana).

How can we deduce this?

By taking a look at Egalmoth's weaponry.

Egalmoth favored his bow slightly over his sword, and "his sword was bent (none of the other Noldoli carried curved swords)", according to the Tolkien Gateway (Referencing The Book of Lost Tales Part Two, "III. The Fall of Gondolin").

Basically, no one in Gondolin was carrying around anything that remotely resembled a katana, besides Elgamoth.

Anyway, I am personally in love with the idea of Glamdring being a magically oversized spathion.

If we consider that Glamdring was made for Turgon… who is in the running for Tallest Elf, a title with steep competition that must put him at 8ft+… well, I’m not a weapon expert, but Glamdring must be long as hell?

And Gandalf is tall… but we’re never told that he in his Istari form is freakishly tall amongst men.

So I kind of wonder… was it a shortsword for Turgon, or does Gandalf wielding it just look slightly comical?

Anime style huge sword on an old man.

[prattling-she-elf]

Ah, of course, the Shibboleth of Fëanor! I don't actually own anything that contains the Shibboleth (I think) so that's probably part of the reason I missed it (although I am not unfamiliar with that text, which raises the question of where did I read that).

I have to say, I love that interpretation of Amrod regretting the kinslaying! Now that you have pointed it out, it seems like such an obvious conclusion to make from reading that passage. I'm not sure how I glossed over that before.

I think I must have been too distracted by Fëanor's outwardly flippant reaction of "whoopsie-daisy I burnt my own son to death" to pay much attention to why Amrod insisted on staying with the ships.

@prattling-she-elf Oh yeah, Fëanor for sure made the right call with this one. But I need to know, which twin regretted the kinslaying? That's a juicy tidbit of info I somehow missed.

hey, so this is based on a draft that's published in the Shibboleth of Feanor, inside the 12th volume of Histories of Middle Earth. so as far as the story goes, you can take it or leave it — there's earlier versions where both twins are specifically called out for being nasty in the third kinslaying, their characterisation as it is in texts isn't exactly the most consistent. that said! this is the exact passage:

so in fairness it doesn't say that he regretted the kinslaying, but you could infer it. he's shocked by the deed. as for which twin that is, it's the youngest, who is Telufinwe Ambarto/Umbarto/Amrod. in the the very next sentence Ambarussa/Amras says that the dead twin is the youngest of Feanor's children. additional note: the story of who is youngest is confused, Tolkien changed the names and reversed the order himself.

note 63 on "shocked":

[prattling-she-elf]

Stupid decisions in the Silmarillion - the finals!! I'll leave this one open for a full week.

Remember, we're thinking of the stupidest decision based on information the decision-maker had at the time, not what necessarily ended up having the worst consequences. Some of these were unfortunate more than stupid - think carefully!

Because of the way I set this series up, there are, of course, a lot of stupid decisions missing from this final poll! I personally thought Thingol asking Beren for a Silmaril was the single stupidest thing anyone had ever done, but "insulting Dwarves" won out on his poll (which... fair enough really). Yesterday, in a grave error of judgement, I included Glorfindel's hairstyling choices on the "miscellaneous stupid decisions" poll and inadvertently created the equivalent of a vanilla extract option. Oops. Thankfully, most of these do have a solid claim to being really stupid decisions (with the sole exception of Finrod imo).

Do reblog for a larger sample size, and share your reasoning in the tags! There are a lot of good options here. I'm not fully decided on what to vote for myself.

[prattling-she-elf]

Oh by the Valar, the absolute chaotic imagery this evokes is unparalleled.

Nerandel would have shot Fëanor for trying to take her sons from Valinor and for generally being a dick to her.

Elwing would have shot all four sons of Fëanor who attacked the Havens, keeping both the Silmaril and her sons.

Findulias would have tried to shoot Glaurung only to find that guns don't work so well on dragons.

Haleth would become a sniper.

Andreth would have shot Morgoth directly in the face to put an end to that bullshit so she could marry Aegnor.

Aredhel could have saved herself a lot of trouble and shot her asshat of a husband.

Galadriel.... yeah. Don't give Galadriel a gun. I get the feeling that would be a bad idea.

Idril would have found a gun very useful in the Fall of Gondolin. Alternatively, she could have just shot Maeglin and saved everyone a whole lot of trouble.

Míriel. What would Míriel do with a gun? Shoot Finwë for 'cheating' on her? Idk.

Nienor probably should not have a gun for her own safety. I don't see how a gun would have helped her against Glaurung.

I like how Lúthien isn't even included. She didn't need a gun, but oh, could you imagine? Lúthien would have taken all three Silmarils right then and there.

[prattling-she-elf]

Andreth is the funniest damn mortal to ever grace Middle Earth. She fell in love with Aegnor, an elf, and because of the elvish customs, he would not wed her, for his people were at war. Since the act of sex itself, for elves anyway, is the creation of marriage, they of course were abstaining. Andreth then gets pissed at Aegnor because she is mortal and isn't getting any younger, after all, and she wants some elvish dick before she dies.

Poor girl doesn't get any, either.

[prattling-she-elf]

Reblog if you too want Gollum to bite their anus

Bots, stop following me, or Gollum will bite your anus.

You've been warned.

[prattling-she-elf]

It's all good! I'm honestly glad you said something because I hadn't thought too much about the Maglor perspective until you did.

And I think it is no accident that the only two survivors, Galadriel and Malgor, are the way they are.

Can we take a moment to talk about that generation that consisted mainly of the grandchildren of Finwë?

I mean, look at this:

Dead, Good as Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Only Alive Because Her Family Had the Presence of Mind to Stop Her, Dead, Dead, Dead, Survived.

Galadriel really was the only one who survived.

And this hits me hard when I think about it.

Because a writer puts a bit of themselves in every character.

The part of Tolkien that I see the most in Galadriel is the part of him that survived the war.

After all, he was part of the Lost Generation. Two of his closest friends—Robert Gilson and Geoffrey Smith—died in the war. Tolkien and Christopher Wiseman were the only two of their fellowship to survive.

Only Galadriel survived.

That was what the Grandchildren of Finwë were. They were the Lost Generation. An entire generation slaughtered.

The regret, the lamentation, the grief. Galadriel knew it well. She lived it because Tolkien lived it.

And I don't know why, but for some reason, this speaks to me louder than any history book ever has.

[prattling-she-elf]

See above "Good as Dead" for more details.

But yeah, Maglor is the flip side of the survivor coin. He's all those people who really did not fare well after the war. Galadriel, like Tolkien, managed to find a life after the war and heal. I'm not sure we can say the same about Maglor.

When I called Maglor "good as dead" I meant narratively, seeing as afterward, he falls out of the knowledge of the elves and out of their histories.

Overall, I just see more of Tolkien in Galadriel.

While I'm sure Tolkien poured his own trauma and regret into Maglor, I see Maglor more like the vets that slip through the cracks and don't receive the help they need. And I'm sure that's what Tolkien saw too.

Can we take a moment to talk about that generation that consisted mainly of the grandchildren of Finwë?

I mean, look at this:

Dead, Good as Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Only Alive Because Her Family Had the Presence of Mind to Stop Her, Dead, Dead, Dead, Survived.

Galadriel really was the only one who survived.

And this hits me hard when I think about it.

Because a writer puts a bit of themselves in every character.

The part of Tolkien that I see the most in Galadriel is the part of him that survived the war.

After all, he was part of the Lost Generation. Two of his closest friends—Robert Gilson and Geoffrey Smith—died in the war. Tolkien and Christopher Wiseman were the only two of their fellowship to survive.

Only Galadriel survived.

That was what the Grandchildren of Finwë were. They were the Lost Generation. An entire generation slaughtered.

The regret, the lamentation, the grief. Galadriel knew it well. She lived it because Tolkien lived it.

And I don't know why, but for some reason, this speaks to me louder than any history book ever has.

[prattling-she-elf]

Nooooooo noooooooooo, that's totally not a snippet of the complete family tree of Finwë that I made using Azalea's Dolls LotR dollmaker for my Silmarillion fanfiction so that I could keep track of all his damn descendants!

Can we take a moment to talk about that generation that consisted mainly of the grandchildren of Finwë?

I mean, look at this:

Dead, Good as Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Only Alive Because Her Family Had the Presence of Mind to Stop Her, Dead, Dead, Dead, Survived.

Galadriel really was the only one who survived.

And this hits me hard when I think about it.

Because a writer puts a bit of themselves in every character.

The part of Tolkien that I see the most in Galadriel is the part of him that survived the war.

After all, he was part of the Lost Generation. Two of his closest friends—Robert Gilson and Geoffrey Smith—died in the war. Tolkien and Christopher Wiseman were the only two of their fellowship to survive.

Only Galadriel survived.

That was what the Grandchildren of Finwë were. They were the Lost Generation. An entire generation slaughtered.

The regret, the lamentation, the grief. Galadriel knew it well. She lived it because Tolkien lived it.

And I don't know why, but for some reason, this speaks to me louder than any history book ever has.

[prattling-she-elf]

Can we take a moment to talk about that generation that consisted mainly of the grandchildren of Finwë?

I mean, look at this:

Dead, Good as Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Only Alive Because Her Family Had the Presence of Mind to Stop Her, Dead, Dead, Dead, Survived.

Galadriel really was the only one who survived.

And this hits me hard when I think about it.

Because a writer puts a bit of themselves in every character.

The part of Tolkien that I see the most in Galadriel is the part of him that survived the war.

After all, he was part of the Lost Generation. Two of his closest friends—Robert Gilson and Geoffrey Smith—died in the war. Tolkien and Christopher Wiseman were the only two of their fellowship to survive.

Only Galadriel survived.

That was what the Grandchildren of Finwë were. They were the Lost Generation. An entire generation slaughtered.

The regret, the lamentation, the grief. Galadriel knew it well. She lived it because Tolkien lived it.

And I don't know why, but for some reason, this speaks to me louder than any history book ever has.

[prattling-she-elf]

Just to add to this:

The brothers would absolutely give their weird ass pets names that just state what the animal is to make fun of Celegorm for having a dog named "dog".

Example: Curufin's hawk would just be called "Fion", the Quenya word for hawk.

Love to think that the sons of Fëanor had weird ass pets during their time in Beleriand. I'm talking "letting each of these things walk around their halls and if possible curl up in their bed beside them" pets.

Maedhros: big fat moose. Not to ride a la Thranduil in the hobbit, just to have it around Himring and pet it occasionally, has been the reason Maedhros bedroom is on the ground floor, has been found twice IN his bed before

Maglor: the most ugly donkey you will ever find, bits, kicks, screeches every time it takes a breath, eats straw hats in summer and everyone hates it, Maglor shares the ends of fresh bread with it

Celegorm: Huan is canonically big enough to be ridden by a (HC) 8ft Lúthien, everyone is terrified of that bastard, will watch you take a piss in the woods if you leave a campfire

Caranthir: mountain lion, let's it prowl around the lake, keeps unwanted visitors away because Caranthir is the only one it will listen to, has a ceiling-high log of wood in Caranthir's sitting room as scratching post, loves butt scritches

Curufin: hawk that stares at everyone like it's the next meal, has attacked several people including but not limited to random Sindar and Eöl, steals underwear from clothesline and builds nests with it

Amrod: weird little pet rats that gnaw through everyone's shoes but the ambarussar's, built them a fun labyrinth between the walls, one time pissed off Curufin and suddenly the rat was gone and his hawk didnt need dinner

Amras: goats he trained to climb houses and trees, if you have a solid roof you will wake up to goats on your house often, finds it hilarious when they play dead

I just think they deserve weird stupid pets that make their other brothers concerned for their mental well-being

[prattling-she-elf]

I misread someone’s “I don’t own the Silmarillion” disclaimer as “I don’t own the Silmarils” and legit my only thought was a heartfelt “good” as though the Silmarils are a real thing and all of us are in constant danger of being murdered by the Sons of Fëanor if we don’t tell everyone on the internet we don’t own them