principalles

[principalles]

#ABAJ

(i/?)

#whatmakessoheehappytobeinjay'smadworld

Sohee was aware that the man she was dating was a wanted man, not in the criminal sense. Unless one could count the boyfriends and husbands who probably resented him for stealing the attention of their wives or girlfriends. Those men might possibly want him in a criminal sense. She wouldn’t blame them. She’d be jealous too, if she wasn’t a hundred percent sure of how much he loved her and if he wasn’t drowning her in these emotions any chance he got to do so. Sohee was not in dire need of constant reassurance, it didn’t mean that she couldn’t waver now and then.

Some days, for example, when she would be sitting in a cafe and then suddenly the table behind her would be screaming voices and giggles as she caught whispers of Jay’s name. The gushing, the compliments…the things they wished they could do with him, for him or to him. It sank into the reality of who she was involved with more times than it didn’t. When Jay had set his eyes on her, before she had done so or before she had even ever considered letting herself embark on a romantic journey with an idol. An idol. Seriously, Sohee’s heart, of all people to fall for. That had been her constant thought. No way, not with an idol. Why would that even be an option? Who would want to be with an idol? When she knew how their lives were from working with them, from interacting with them.

So, Jay, a big iconic idol and the heartthrobs of so many teenage and adult hearts? Yeah, Sohee would have been mad to take his intentions seriously or set her eyes back on him in just as a serious manner. What did it say about her now that she couldn’t think of any other outcome than the one where whenever she saw him she didn’t want to look away? That she’d truly gone insane. That was what it said. Truly insane. Einstein’s level of insanity. Madness was an understatement. To be happy in this madness too, wow. Unbelievable. 

But see, some things made this mad world more soothing than a peaceful reality. 

Exhibit one:  # ABAJ (A Barely Awake Jay)

He had the keys to her apartment and she had his. So mornings like this, waking up to his body against hers when she’d gone to sleep alone. They were not surprising and they were welcomed. Unless it was a hot summer. Okay, maybe even during hot summers. There was something about Sohee waking up, trying to get herself out of bed and Jay immediately turning into an octopus whose toy was being taken away and wrapping all limbs around her. Tightly. Not enough to hurt, but enough to make the mission of leaving the bed harder for her. 

Jeez. 

The only thing that worked, the thing Sohee figured after a good few weeks of almost being late to work was to go pliant in his arms. Gently nudge him also worked. If she made any sudden movement, the plan would fail. Sohee had to be as subtle as a feather, moving about, stroking his forearms, calling his name just as softly then he’d let her turn around and she’d find him blinking but not awake. His sleep was not deep, she’d met him in this state of mind but she wasn’t sure if he’d always been like this. Any movements could have him awake and unable to sleep, something else she’d guiltily found out on a morning as this. So, these tricks were essential not only to get to work on time but to also make sure Jay got enough sleep. 

Once she was facing him, the first hurdle was crossed. Now she could watch his mouth move, mumble a sleep, “Hi babe,” she could answer with a smile, a shake of her head at how gorgeous this man looked in the morning. Absolutely unfair. If these fangirls knew, they’d kill for a picture. Absolutely decimate someone. Possibly. Sohee would understand if it went that far. But this was hers to hold and lean into and rub her nose against his, nothing sudden, remember. She had to make sure he felt her, but did not rouse from sleep. At the edge of slumber as he was, he always smiled when his arms went more relaxed and he trusted Sohee to not move. At least not until she was sure he was sleeping soundly. 

That trust in her would never cease to squeeze her heart to a breathless point. It was when that tightness in her chest would become unbearable that Sohee could finally get her arms around him and lower his head against the curve of her neck, where he felt warm and safe and she could kiss the top of his head. Play with her fingers in his hair. Hum to a random tune, the first thing she could think of so early in the morning. 

The only safe way to then leave the bed would be when Jay was breathing soundlessly against her skin. His hands no longer held against her back and his leg only linked to hers with his foot. Not the whole thigh. The whole thigh indicated consciousness still lingering and that slumber was not quite reached yet. How could she read him so well? For moments like these when she knew he needed her to use her knowledge? Or for her own pleasure of knowing that she could give him moments like these if she learned everything there was to know about him?

Either way, #ABAJ was the highlight of these mornings and they made the mad world thousand times worthier.

[principalles]

how to expect the unexpected: 

step one: you don’t step two: don’t cry step three: remind yourself that you can do it.

[principalles]

the drowning; 

it was lonely, it was not as she had dreamed it for years. it was unwanted, it was not what she imagined it to be. it was shameful, it was not how she had pictured this day. it was heavy, it was an undesired bond. 

the wedding. 

[principalles]

My hero.

@loveurn (sammie going on a rollercoast or smth)

Contrary to popular belief and the angelic face that she carried everywhere she went, Jamie was kind of a klutz. Or maybe that was a kinder way to say, she was quite a handful. It could have been from how she’d been raised, the only daughter of her parents and the little sister of her brother. 

James was getting out of jail soon too and that meant that Jamie’s life would be on cloud nine 24/7 soon enough. The announcement came with her screaming at the top of her lungs, running through from her bedroom straight to where she knew Sam would be cooped up working on a painting. He’d been working on one for a few weeks now, something about preparing the center piece for an exhibition. 

This was not her first rodeo with ‘Exhibition Sam’, neither would it be her last. Jamie usually knew better than to just barge in the studio, she totally did. Paint would be scattered all over the place and being a lover of white clothing as she was, it was always a feat to make it out of there stainless. So, they’d obviously decided that she could only disturb him during those times if she was willing to drop the white clothes (she wasn’t.). It was therefore off limits for the time being, at least until he was done with the centerpiece. But that worked for a rationally thinking Jamie, not for this one. Giddy, excited, the phone against her ear as she called his name, over and over, pushing the door open and abruptly making her way inside. 

Jamie’s focus being that of making a beeline straight to where she knew she could see Sam turning to look at her. He might have heard his name being screamed continuously, or her footsteps. He might have thought that this wouldn’t mean she’d come in. Yet he looked startled, for mere seconds before he was up and shaking his hand at her. 

Something was falling from his lips and Jamie usually loved to pay attention to whatever he was saying. When her brain was functioning at its high capacity. Or even when she was slightly tipsy. It sounded like she was being soothed to melt right on the spot when she had just a bit of whine in her system. 

She didn’t think she’d ever mentioned this, but somehow Sam seemed to register that his charms worked a little too well when she had a little to drink. Because she’d started to notice that he’d bought quite a few bottles after one night she couldn’t quite recall. She’d been more than tipsy then, she’d also woken up to a bright and beaming boyfriend who couldn’t seem to take his eyes off her. 

His gaze had been on her all through breakfast and leaving the apartment that day had not been difficult because of her, not that morning. But that was an investigation she would lead later, for now, she needed to understand why Sam seemed eager to not have her walk--well, run--further in the room before it was too late. Her smile faltered for a second as her eyes lowered to where his hands were pointing. Sam was also already moving though, at quite the speed Jamie would be amazed at later. 

Because all she could do was let out an embarrassing yelp, hold the phone tightly--as if that would stop the fall that was about to occur to her abrupt halt in the middle of the room. Her eyes could now see why Sam’s worry was warranted, something had shattered on the ground. It looked like he’d been cleaning up when Jamie had decided to give him her good news though. But running fast as she had been, stopping just in time was going to be impossible! 

This was going to hurt, this is going to hurt, she didn’t want this to hurt. 

Jamie did something she would have cursed at anyone for doing, especially if she was watching the scene from the comfort of her coach through a screen. She closed her eyes and held even tighter to her phone--again, as if that would save her from the pain of eventually stepping or falling face first in a pool of glass shards. 

God, she’d be scarred for life if it touched her face! She had to get it together, she opened her eyes back but still--letting go of her phone was not an option. She had to--she had to...hm? She definitely felt herself fall or land, one or the other, she was no longer standing vertically. 

James’ voice was coming against her chest, vibrating with words she was sure were full of worries. Because Jamie had been doing nothing but screaming and yelping as she fell in what definitely like a movie’s slow motion scene. Now though, she was looking up at the ceiling but no piercing pain was poking her anywhere. 

‘Oh my god, I died.’ 

Jamie!

‘Jay.’

Wow, Sam’s and James’ voice at the same time. Yes, this was definitely some kind of post mortem situation. She blinked again, felt her chest rise and fall, slowly. So slowly she had to frown and take in a breath, hold it. 

‘Jay, hey,’ 

A tap to her cheek felt warm and--damp? Damp? Jamie felt sluggish as she tried to move but was held down firmly in place. If she wasn’t dead then she was paralyzed. 

‘Say something, you’re scaring me.’

Jamie wanted to say something, lots of something. She was just--trying to process how she wasn’t. Wait, that was Sam’s voice repeatedly talking and she knew this perfume. Jamie turned her head against something soft and her hands finally let go of the phone against her chest to find a grip in it. She knew the color of this shirt, no, a sweater. The blue of it was now dotted with myriads of other colors, paint. It smelled like paint everywhere and something else that was imprinted in every corner of this apartment, the sheets, the blankets, the pillows. This was Sam. This wasn’t hell or paradise. It was Sam’s body. 

Then Jamie started feeling his heartbeat and realized that the sweater was also getting damp. The source of the moisture was hot on her cheeks, her voice was still nowhere to be found. But Sam’s voice was filtering through, gentle and soothing. His hands against her hair slowly brought her back to awareness. Surprisingly, it didn’t stop her tears--it was indeed her tears that were making everything wet. Her cheeks, his sweater, his hands as they cupped her face and pulled her from where she was buried against his chest. 

All her senses came back to her at once and she wanted to feel silly for crying as she was. But she couldn’t stop and she was now shaking slightly. Jamie shook her head when he tried to keep her away from him, squirming as she fought to settle back with her face buried against his chest. Her arms came around him, holding tightly as she felt him fall back against something. Sam was braced against something, he’d also stopped her fall. Oh god, was he hurt anywhere? Jamie pulled back quickly, knelt and pushed at his hands trying to grab her back. 

‘Stop, wait, are you hurt? Did you fall? Sammy, are you hurt, did I hurt you and the, the, the--broken, the broken glass, it was--I didn’t see it, I’m sorry, I swear, I didn’t.’ 

Jamie was making no sense, she also couldn’t see anything or anywhere she was touching because of these damn tears. She needed them to go so she could see where she was touching him to check for any wounds! By god. 

‘Come ‘ere.’ Sam wasn’t helping either, locking her arms by her sides with his hands and guiding her back against him as he was doing. Jamie shook her head and stayed planted where she was. 

‘No.’ 

‘Don’t be stubborn.’

She stayed quiet, lowered her head, her teeth found her bottom lip and she held on. 

‘I’m not hurt.’ 

Jamie went a little forward when he pulled. 

‘I promise, I’m not hurt, you can check later. I just want you back here for now, yeah?’ 

The tears were still rolling, but somehow they felt less hot. Her senses were not over aware as she fell back against him and she let him tighten his arms around her. Jamie licked the drops on her lips, the salt made her sigh and close her eyes. Sam was right, she was better here for now. She’d be no help in her current state, ridiculous as it might have been, to have lost it over such a simple thing. 

‘That was not a simple thing, the glass could have poked into anything, your throat, your face, your eyes.’

Had she spoken out loud? She startled and leaned back so she could look up at him with a frown. Jamie cleared her throat and found her hands poking at his sweater lightly. She was finding that her throat was not so tight anymore. Maybe she could try a few words. 

‘You’re really not hurt?’ 

A silence welcomed her before she felt him shrug. 

‘Well, I’ve got the weight of a 25 years old baby that fell on me not so gracefully, my back took a lot of the fall against this wall, so it’s not so happy right now.’ 

Oh god. Now that the shock was dissipating, the humor in his voice, the slightly mocking tone was making her feel a little shameful as she shrunk further in his arms. 

‘Sammy.’ 

‘But I’d rather hurt myself to catch you than doing anything else.’ 

Great, now she was embarrassed and furiously blushing. 

Later

Jamie was not an ungrateful damsel in distress. 

Later during that night, when all the glass shards in his studio was cleaned up and all was right again in their little paradise. She let him lie with his back to her as she straddled his body and leaned over to leave a trail of kisses down his spine. From the first joint--though she only made it about halfway before he interrupted her to pull her from where she was more than content on top of him to find herself blinking up at him. 

Probably that the last shiver she’d felt against her lips had been one too many for him. Or had it been the one before that? She’d heard him let out a groan before that one though. She’d also felt him hold his breath before, and squirm before that, also softly call out her name before, or was it at the first touch of her lips that she’d felt him press his body further into the mattress? 

Sam kissed her, Jamie closed her eyes as she held his face. 

‘My hero.’ The whisper left her right as he pulled away. Sam’s arms braced at either side of her, the weight of his body pressing her into the mattress. Her hands held onto his shoulders as he leaned back down to find her mouth in another playful kiss, his breath tickling her lips that he left damp from a flick of his tongue. Sam went on for more than mere seconds, teasing her lips and the more she leaned up, the more Jamie’s body told him she wanted, the less he’d linger. 

She hated this game as much as she loved it. But only if Sam was the one playing it, pushing the buttons and guiding them however far he could take them before he couldn’t hold back anymore. 

Jamie wanted to follow his lead, tonight, tomorrow and all the other days after that. 

[principalles]

loveurn​:

bo smiles. it’s nothing different from the smiles she gets from him. for different reasons, at different intervals and realizations. meaning at different times for different thoughts, admirations going through his head. because she says things like that and he’s sure she doesn’t know how much she’s adored, admired, and how much she’d swept him off his feet. how easily she’s left him a bit of a mess, even if it shows in mind only. stutters of thoughts and desires and when and where they can take form and take hold of the time they have, or the situations they’re in.

like now. now when bo knows exactly what he’d like to do, knows what he’s been comfortable doing up until now and what he’s thought about. like now when he thinks the air is charged a little differently. joy blushes, as he’s often seen her do, in the way that he would want to press a kiss or two to her cheek, and if not there’s a simple brush of his hand to feel how warm and soft the skin is to touch, to marvel at how he’s done that and how it means enough. how it means something that’s led them to this.

little things, little steps, leading and now led to something as big as the ball tomorrow. 

there’d always been a hint of hesitation and a very clear level of carefulness when it came to this, bo always reminding himself not to push too much. bo always reminding himself that the lucky one is not the princess for getting chosen but the prince for getting the yes. among all that hesitation and the fear there are moments that break through it, moments that show him he has small victories that he’s managed to win the heart he’s pursued so fervently. the hand that’d made it’s way to her back is moving forward again, his moves spurred by her words, by the sureness in her eyes. 

by the promise of not moving back and the very real idea that it’s happening. because it is. he’s leaning forward at that, his hand coming to rest on her cheek and to guide her lips the short distance to meet his own. he’s not unashamed to admit he’d pushed a little closer to meet her and to seal the quicker than intended. but it’s needed and it’s so - so worth it. for the heat, for the gentle press of her bod the closer she gets, to the way her lips are as he’d imagined.

as soft, as gentle, as forgiving of the wait just to feel this. to indulge in this. and for that wait, for all the emotions that have harbored in shallow waters, he lets himself press the kiss for as long as fervent as she’ll allow. 

there was a startling moment, when she felt his hand on her cheek, the one on her back felt reassuring. the one on her cheek was so warm and comforting, so the startling second came and left. besides, joy barely had the time to react to it. as slow as the process was, of him pulling her close and of his lips finding her own. which were parted like they knew what would be promised if they let themselves be kissed, which was absurd because they did not have a mind of their own. but could she truly prove that? her whole body had developed certain signs, certain tingle ones that ran down her spine and loved to play in the deep of her belly, some kind of lullaby that rendered her rather speechless to many things bo did. speechless in a good way. 

so maybe her body, every single thing that existed on its surface had a mind of its own. that way she could explain that the flutter of her eyelashes came way before the parting of her lips, that her feet rising to have the pressure of his mouth on hers grow stronger, happened so quickly after the kiss. all in tandem they were with the beats of her heart, yet they felt slightly disconnected. because the drumming of her heartbeats was loud and where it was deafening, the movements of her body were soft, quiet, surrendering. like they’d been waiting to wave the white flag she’d kept in plain sight but hidden at the same time so many times now. it’d been worth the wait though, joy thought even as she wondered if her inexperience would ruin the moment. 

because far from knowing what to do after the moment the kiss occurred, she found herself a little lost. dazedly so when she pulled back to assess all the new parts in her body where these tingles were now relocating. her fingertips had some of the strongest ones, but they surely couldn’t rival the ones sitting where bo’s lips had been prior. she pulled at her bottom lip with her teeth at the reminder; so it was true that one could taste a lover in such a way after a kiss. if that was true, what else had novels been right about so far? 

[principalles]

loveurn​:

her hand in his is close enough to feel like the final piece, the only piece to the urges he’s had all day. just to see, hold, or even talk to her if they’d allow it. no one was really stopping him and maybe a part of him knew that delaying it would make it even the more sweeter tomorrow, but it still had a way of getting to him. not like an itch that needs to be scratched, but just an empty ache, a hollowness that knows itself once it’s been found and satisfied. 

something satisfied just by the feel of her hand in his and her gaze when it meets his own. the way he squeezes as she smiles, tugs her close as she talks, even closer as he starts to step. as every motion becomes necessary, involuntary and familiar, he knows for sure the ache isn’t fully satisfied but it’s fully realized. all he wishes to do, to experience with her, something he’s only reminded of when he’s got her with him and the only priority int he room is to keep the sun up even when it’s already set. in her smile and her laughter. in the way she glows just by being her. 

“i would steal you again and away if people didn’t expect you tomorrow.”

bo’s damn lucky and he reminds himself of that every time. every time he finds himself in a position like this. with the ability to lift her the back of her hand to his lips and to know that is okay even when it lingers there for a few moments. even as he squeezes it again to bring himself to earth. to this empty room they’ve occupied. empty and suddenly small as ever. to the sight of her and reminding himself that he must move his eyes, that the can’t just travel across skin, silk and smooth as the fabric that covers it. the feel of her hands as his thumb runs across the top, the reminder that his other is holding steady along her back.

the thought, of other things smooth and as sweet as everything joy is. he doesn’t move, not yet, and in all he’s endured for the moment he lets his eyes fall on her lips first, before they meet her eyes. 

“since people do expect you - whatever i do should hold me until tomorrow night. right?”

“i’m certain you will be expected more than i will be.” joy replied, albeit a tad softer than she thought the words would have left her.

it was hard to concentrate on what she wanted to say, or how she should say it when he’d not only managed to get his hand on her back. but to leave a kiss on the back of her hand that had her pursing her mouth as she took in the things her body was telling her. all of them unfamiliar but known now, joy had learned to understand them with time. where she;d lacked in experience and she’d lacked quite a lot, there was no shame felt in it, but when one did not know of anything they simply had to learn.

some of those lessons had been given gracefully--as graceful as possible--by hyungwon. the others, she’d had to rely on intuition to understand. she would have appreciated a bit of a warning, but hyungwon had assured her no matter how many times she would have been warned, it would still have felt like she knew nothing of what bo was making her feel like. not until he brought forth those feelings. she supposed, he understood what he was saying since he did have the experience and andrei had now been there for long enough to mean that he was probably to hyungwon, what bo was to joy.

so who was bo to joy?

she had the answer right at the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed it right as her heart missed a beat. the hand that was still free found itself holding onto his forearm and joy let herself near in further, peering up with a bravery she hadn’t felt in awhile. this demanded courage, great, great courage. or she was just being silly in her own mind. either way.

“well, whatever it is that you need to do, i won’t be holding you back. especially if it has the promise of lingering until tomorrow night.”

was such a thing possible? joy too was curious to know.

[principalles]

loveurn​:

“this is more of an intervention.”

it hadn’t even been that long, he was sure. it hadn’t been but a few days, but a mere 72 hours or more since he’d seen here. maybe more than that, maybe less than that but it hadn’t been that long. he’d lasted longer, when she’d had to go home. when he’d had to go on a diplomatic trip, when he’d had lessons and council meetings for days on end and there was simply no time. bo had gone longer intervals without seeing joy but it hadn’t felt like this. like such a breath of fresh air, maybe even a sigh of relief.

“i’d been apart from you for too long.”

it had everything to do with tomorrow, everything to do with the reality of what tomorrow would mean for her, for them. it meant the world for him to come here and see her, for her to not have run away from the first instance of who he was - or even when he explained what tomorrow would mean. that dating is more like courting and announcing it is more like an engagement. there was fear attached to that, and despite the confidence that he brings himself to show, the confidence from the first decision to introduce her to his parents, there was the reality of his status and how overwhelming it could be.

yet here she is, hours later, practicing as if she doesn’t have it down. teaching herself as if anyone would say anything or blink an eye if she got a step wrong or a phrase sounded strange. rather than it being that she was the prince to be’s fiancee, there was so much charm and adoration in everything joy did, she could get away with it. he wouldn’t fault her if he showed up and heard she’d decided that it was indeed too much. 

but she hadn’t - and she’s here - and bo is beside himself with how bad he’s needed to see her. how bad he’s wanted to see her. if he could go back in time, he wouldn’t be able to make himself wait this long again. he’s stepping closer with that same smile of hers as a resolve, and his own thoughts as reasoning. 

“everyone else has had you too much these days.” his hand if out, the question the same as the one he’d posed at the door, this time with no words and just the gesture, and his own gaze. one that hasn’t had the heart to stop observing her, head to toe, for all that she is - and even more for who she’s going to be.

an intervention? joy’s eyebrow arched as she held on the edge of the window, the words bringing forth a smile. he had a strange way with words sometimes, a little humorous, sometimes quite tender. it had a way of making her realize she could miss him and she did miss him. joy wasn’t sure what that feeling was supposed to feel like when it was towards anyone other than her father, because he’d been the only one who’d brought forth the feeling of homesickness before. but she was certain the way things settled in her bones and made her feel more relaxed, more like the joy she knew herself to be, that meant that he’d taken a part of her with him and it was now finding its way back home.

right where it might just belong.

his words slid themselves alongside these thoughts and brought forth a rush of a flush to her cheeks. there was no use hiding the evidence now, was there? she couldn’t even look away from him as he spoke and inched closer, close enough that his hand reaching out only needed her to extend hers in return to find their place in his. joy did so without hesitation, leaning away from the support she didn’t need when bo’s hands were holding onto hers, or onto her. this gravity was quite the tricky thing to have a complete grasp on.

she held onto his hand to step forward, close enough that she had to keep her chin up to find his eyes. joy was certain there was a pull somewhere, consciously working against her, she’d felt it countless times before and tonight, it felt like it was going to win over her. it felt like she might just let it have its way.

“i could say the same of you.” his presence had been just as scarce was what she meant, but she hadn’t felt it like she was feeling it now. which was strange. one had to miss when there was absence right? not when you finally had the person right here with you. or maybe both were just as arguably possible. joy was definitely feeling it more with him so close.

“but now that you've managed to steal me back, what do you plan to do?”

[principalles]

loveurn​:

@principalles

balls on the island were a big thing. they weren’t common, though festivals and other forms of celebration were more common in place of them. the kingdom’s capital located by piers and the sea made it easy to haul fresh fish to the town center and grill and dance into the night. balls were more formal events, celebrating engagements, coming of events or welcoming and honoring visitors or the royalty. 

bo’s dad is a man of his people, so the balls were never really exclusive unless they had to be. balls were open to all who would and could attend and because of the frequency of late night festivals it was no sting to someone’s heart if they couldn’t make it. one would always find the king and queen either from the cover of their balcony or from the corners of a rooftop watching over and enjoying in closed company.

this ball in particular was open to all and important for one. this ball wasn’t exactly an engagement but it meant a lot and it shows from the amount of times he’s seen his mother in her chambers or scampering back and forth from the town to the palace, carrying troves of fabric and with advisors and planners on her heels.

there’s only two other balls of a higher caliber that she’d work this hard for - and that’s an engagement or an appointment. tomorrow night, bo would be formally announcing to the kingdom that his courting of joy was with intentions for her to be his and by proxy for the kingdom to one day be hers. the ball tomorrow was the official announcement that he has made a decision, no more suitors, no more bachelor and diplomatic visits and no marriages for alliances. it was one thing for the townspeople to gossip and tease him but it was another thing for him to show her off in front of family, friends and citizens alike. 

he’s told her, explained how he world around her would change by the pseudo sort of title she’d be given and despite all the preparation and the idea to surprise him tomorrow night with the outfit his mother’s put work in - he hasn’t seen her in a few days and he’s accepted the consequences of a small scolding to sneak a conversation. or a peek. three days of preparation is way too long to not see her, especially with the constant she’s become in her daily life. despite his insistence he knows she’d rather learn lessons from those offering in the palace, so he knows even when she should be relaxing for the gala she’s still making sure her form is perfect. that’s how bo knows where to find her. that and if he enters the palace he just has to follow the sound of the music and once he’s closer the sound of her speaking to herself.

there’s a swell of pride in his chest when he hears her whispering words in his language to herself. she’s in one of the older rooms that he used to take the same lessons in when it was required and through the light peeking from old blinds, she’s a vision he’s missed for days. 

“mind if i cut in?”

joy was most likely living what many would call a fairy tale, they would also most likely mock her for knowing she never believed in such things. she still didn’t. this was far from a fairy tale. at first, she’d been too preoccupied with where her foot was slipping, trying to grip the rails of her life and not let herself, or more precisely--the prince of this island--sweep off her feet. there was no other way to describe this lack of gravity under her whenever she caught herself thinking of her current predicament. as hard as she’d tried, joy had not been able to hold tight on the railings and she was now sitting atop a cloud, without any idea as to when it would melt and drop her like the myriads of rain drops that had already graced this earth.

that was not the most frightening part of it all though. the most frightening part was how easily she was adapting to the ever changing cloud and how sure she was that to fall would not land her on her feet still. that was all the fault of one persistent prince. joy should have read all those fairy tales, they might have served as a good warning against his royal charms. but that was not necessarily what had landed her here, in this room, with tomorrow looming like a promise. the same kind of promise she’d been subtly robbing him off now and then. she had to still act like she had her feet on the ground! so to evade the last sealing touch was only fair in this tender conquest.

she had to admit, she did enjoy herself now and then. learning of new desserts, secretly so, from the chef of the palace. plus, getting to sit in a study she was sure not many had had the chance to, of course it’d been a little dreamy. joy had taken to studying the language of this kingdom because as everything else, it seemed to flow easily on her tongue. it was not easy to speak. but the desire came easily. most likely that it came from knowing it made her even closer to the prince of this kingdom. the words would come to her now and then and she would focus, trying to recant them from memoriesrather than peeking in the notes she’d made during her lessons.

It was easier said than done. but some would come and she would whisper them with pride, alone as she thought she was. maybe a smile was lighting up her features, a smile that was quickly covered with her hand as she heard his voice. the bit of a trance she’d been in had her registering it farther than he was, because bo was right there peeking in through the door and asking if he could come in. that had been his question, right? that was silly of him to even ask! this was his kingdom, his palace, god, and tomorrow she would officially be his fiancee?!

that made even less sense! 

tilting her head after the initial embarrassment at being caught studying washed off, she shook her head quickly, not moving an inch from where she was leaning against the window. the sun was warm against her back as it was settling, and she was enjoying how comforting it felt.

“not at all, please come in.”

joy was certain bo had had one busy day though, hers had been at least. so she couldn’t help but ask as she waited for him to make her way to her, to be sure that he would do so surprised her a little.

“is this a scheduled interruption?”

[principalles]

@principalles​

normally, sooyoung minds her business.

scratch that, usually sooyoung minds her business. she keeps away from office gossip, stays out the sights of the interns who flirt too much, the girls on the prowl for a victim, the people who always get caught in the break room. she keeps her distance because she can get distracted fairly easily, and when she’s resigned to a task she likes to finish it.

since she’s almost always given a task of some sort at the company, it’s not hard for her to stay focused. she misses out on juicy gossip of course but it’s not too big a deal. the scraps of the gossip get to her sooner or later and even if she’s late on the news, sometimes it’s just as sweet to be in the loop at some point.

even if it’s in the end and it’s a small chuckle or a gasp.

a ‘hyerim is dating who?’, ‘who’s the new intern’ or ‘whose on a warpath today’. things like that. but she always makes sure that she stays out of it, and if she’s apart of it, it doesn’t last long. there’s never much to say about her because she’s really always working, or smiling and avoiding any type of misconceptions.

it’s been - significantly harder since everything changed on that retreat with dylan way back when - but she manages to keep herself far away from his floor in order to keep her eyes from giving her away. truth of the matter is, dylan’s proven he could care less who was around if he wanted to show his affections - he would.

still, the occasional word passes on how he’s nicer to her than others, how he often brings up her propositions when her director mentions them, and he’s one of the few higher ups to request her assistance. talk as they may - sooyoung knows her work ethic makes it easy to discredit rumors. 

all this is said to say - she has a reputation, one that’s very carefully crafted so that she has no trouble getting where she wants - especially if it’s a chair right opposite director cho. the thing is - in order to keep it crafted and clean, she has to have her moments. these aren’t slip-ups, nor are they simple things like midnight face masks or loaded fries after a long week. 

sooyoung is human, and sooyoung has steam to let out. 

that steam, gets burned to the max at a certain club at a hole in the wall in hongdae. far from the company but apparently not far enough from her colleagues. she frequents latin night, has been going since an old friend introduced her and she found she had a flair for the environment, the dance, the hustle, the let go and let loose without a care of the next morning. she’ll often play songs from curated playlists in order to get her through the day and remind herself that she’s going to the club that night.

thing is - she’s often checked to make sure none of her colleagues frequent this club, it’s closed off enough that it’s become something of a secret, but still classy enough that she won’t worry about who catches her for the next song.

she’s never had a concern - throwing her head around, feeling the frills of her skirt tickle her skin, sweat and alcohol alike clogging the air. she’s never worried about getting caught in this little patch of joy she’s found.

so imagine her surprise when she’s stumbling towards the bar, feet only sore from the amount of songs she’s done without stopping and not the alcohol. the bartender who’s come to know her hands her a glass immediately and sooyoung is downing it, the red one her lips starting to stain the rim. 

it’s been a hard week, and an even harder day, this was exactly what she needed, she’d even dressed up a bit to get into it. she’s got many more songs in her, many more steps before she needs to retire, and a late start to the next day so she’s feeling the adrenaline kick right back in.

before she can step back out, a couple things happen at once.

her watch pings, indicating a message to her phone. the bartender slides her a drink - knowing she doesn’t drink when she’s ready to dance, and points in a specific direction in the club. 

she’s used to getting drinks, used to declining and even now, more used to declining dances when she thinks they’re getting too friendly and there’s already someone reserved for that. she’s halfway into checking her watch, and looking for the culprit when her eyes read the text and then move on auto-pilot.

msg: look up.

the first that startles her, is that the message is rom dylan. the second thing that startles her is that - the direction she’s looking is the same direction the bartender had pointed in - all to confirm that he’s here. dylan is here - in the very club that she thought was too hidden away for her to run into anyone.

and of all people - he’s here.

and she’s looking like this. sweating like this and suddenly sooyoung is struck with the thought that he might’ve seen her dance like this.

‘yes i saw you dance.’ the proximity makes the words cut in through the club music and her thoughts and sooyoung nearly jumps in her heels. naturally, dylan is right behind her to keep her steady, his chuckle heavy and low against her skin as she steadies herself by the bar. 

“i said that out loud didn’t i—-”

all the confidence the adrenaline gives her in times like this fades, replaced with the silly butterflies that fly through her chest each time he so much as opens his mouth to laugh. not even to speak - just to laugh and she’s a mess.

‘i didn’t know you could dance.’ “i didn’t know you knew this place.” ‘came for a business deal, they picked te place.’

dylan’s moved to take his place beside the counter and sooyoung thanks the heavens the bartender knows her usual order when she’s getting a little jittery. these were times well before dylan, when it was normal to have jitters about dancing with strangers, or even talking to one she found attractive at the bar. she lets her fingers play with the straw and her body take a breath before actually regarding dylan.

he looks great ( of course he looks great ) and she’s suddenly reminded of what she has on.

‘you look gorgeous.’

she feels like mush. it’s a good feeling no doubt - but it’s overwhelming still. the sooyoung he’s used to, is definitely not the one in short sun dresses, heels and red lipstick, shaking her hips to latin music in the middle of a club. regardless - she’s never thought of how to prepare for this because she never saw it coming. dylan, seems to pick up on it, because there’s a hand on her waist, a squeeze to stop the panicking that she knows is unnecessary. there’s a clink at the end of the table almost immedaitely and she’s reminded that the bartender knows this sooyoung and nothing of her outside of this establishment.

so he’s worried and giving her the signal that he’s here to help.

and god sooyoung nearly laughs.

“it’s fine! he’s good! he’s my - he’s…we’re…he’s not bad!” ‘i’m hers - for the rest of the night, if she’ll have me.’

could the earth swallow her?

her gaze switches between the bartender’s smug but concerned look, and dylan’s confidence.

“do you dance?” ‘no, but i won’t miss the chance.’

sooyoung actually laughs this time. dylan’s smiling so easily, like there’s really nothing to worry about and she’d almost forgot that when she’s here - there’s really nothing to worry about. and with him, there’s never anything to worry about, especially when it’s just them. 

and tonight, that’s all it really needs to be. 

she laughs and he looks at her like she’s crazy when she decides to down her drink finally and reach up to pat his cheek.

“try to keep up?” the smile is shy but the words carry ever bit of confidence that she pulls out when she’s on the dance floor. she leaves him for a few seconds to go request a song and then is pulling him with her to a corner of the dance floor. she’s suddenly giddy, very giddy and all previous worries or stress start to fade as the music picks up and the people around them do the same. sooyoung fastens his hands on her hips, breathes out all her worries in one last exhale before looking him in the eye. he looks determined but also he’s observing the people around them, and his hands start to squeeze the more he sees the movements around them.

sooyoung is more aware of things, the lack of space between them, necessary for the dancing and partially because of how packed the dance floor is. she’s aware once again of what she’s wearing but each time she catches dylan watching her, waiting for her orders, or her movements, she doesn’t feel shy, she feels every bit of the compliment he’d said earlier.

she feels just as gorgeous as she does when she comes to let loose, and even more so when her hips start to move and his eyes struggle to focus on her guidance, her movements, or her eyes. it makes her smile, it makes her laugh, it makes her want to keep going.

so she does. so they do. 

it’s awkward, of course it is, it’s obvious that this is new to him but all jokes aside - there’s not much the guy has to do when the girl wants to show off. and sue her, she wants to show off a little. she’s wants to move her hips so fast that when the edge of her dress flies along, it’s less of the air around her and the fabric that reminds her dylan’s right behind her. she wants to hold him close that he has no choice but to move with her, against her and match her.

she wants to give him just a bit, just a taste of this version of her, even if she’s not always this - it’s a part of her and it makes her happy, free and feeling free like this, with him is important to her. 

dylan - he takes it all. he keeps his grip firm, he lets himself be freer as the songs change, as he gets comfortable, as he experiments. he lets his hands wander, she lets his lips fall where they wish, she lets him grip, tug, knead around all the parts of this version of her that he’s not used to. she lets him learn and she lets herself be open to it. she moves with all the openness that office her couldn’t quite muster, but with all the desire that she carries every day. she moves for the things she’s often too shy to say or get out, she lets each shake, each rock, each slip of skin, pass of lips, say all that she’s wanted to.

she’s almost surprised at how easy it is. 

when her hair falls out the ponytail and his lips move from her neck to her ear. when he’s whispering things that make her giggle and stick to him. things that make her forget the rhythm and the music, things that make her turn the color of the drink she’d had earlier and not care one bit. she makes out a few of the words, when his hands haven’t stopped tugging on the frills of her dress and her response is a tug of her teeth against a collarbone and then giggles as a hand in hers is tugging her off the dance floor. 

it’s hot, it’s sweaty, it’s everything a night like this should be and all she can see is the outline of his shoulder where his button up has started to ride low, a few buttons undone. a little peek of red shows the true damage she’d done without realizing and it’s the promise for the rest of the night.

sooyoung is beside herself with joy, thrumming with it when the car pulls up, when his hands can barely stay off her when they’re inside. when her fingers play around the very marks she can’t take her eyes off on his neck.

it’s so unlike her - and yet it’s completely like her. 

he’s focusing on the road, making the mental decision between her place and his.

“mine is closer.” he gives her a look like he doesn’t know what she means. ‘are you in a rush?’ and two can play at that, so sooyoung leans over, chin on his shoulder. “aren’t you?” there’s a squeeze to her thigh at that and she stifles her laughter when she hears the engine accelerate. 

‘are you off tomorrow?’ “i think i can be.”

maybe it’s the magic answer, they reach her place in record time. and the way he can barely keep his hands off her - if someone sees - persona be damned. 

they can mind their business for once. 

[principalles]

@principalles /  a continuation of the ships and kisses, but more importantly, a minna study. 

it’s new to her.

it’s new for them.

so it’s not something she knows how to approach, hanna ever the affectionate person with jamie finds herself a mixture of shy, giddy and impatient. shy to ask for it, giddy to approach it and impatient to get it. hanna, who sometimes sputters when her dad asks for a cheek kiss before running off to class, hanna who might groan or even the hanna who gives him all the hugs and kisses a father could hope for. hanna, who is always attached to jamie’s side in some way, who’d opened up to the affection when she’d realized how well it was received and easily it was given.

hanna who toys with affection based on the people around her, finds herself struggling how to figure out where it fits with minsoo, and how she can make it fit. there’s no denying she likes it and there’s no denying that these days she’s craving it more and more.

that’s why it comes in many forms right now. 

for hanna it might come as a sudden thing, in minsoo following her for inspiration for her newest projects, in him not saying much other than a nod from his head and a glance to her hand that hovers by his. sometimes he smiles knowingly and sometimes just as confused as she is about approaching it, he’s as confused about when he’s asking without asking. but, if her hand is there he’ll hold it, and if she dances around the topic he’ll pull it out.

it’ll go like:

‘what’s wrong?’ “nothing.”

there’s a blink after that, a few seconds and she’ll feel her teeth dig into her lip. she’ll whisper it first, typically when he’s close enough to hear and not sitting across the table from her.

“c’mere….” it’ll take him a few seconds to hear her but he’ll appease her. the first few times he’d lean over, confusion written on his face, but everything was so new to them that he’d taken to learning everything day by day with her. it’s when he leans close, whether across a table, or lending his ear down to her, she’ll either go for it, or whisper it again. 

if he leans close enough hanna will go for it. by this method it’ll just reach his cheek. but with this method he’s usually laughing, a quick chuckle when she moves away as quickly as she came. minsoo placates her then, takes the hint and gives her two more for measure, usually on her cheek and if there’s a book in her hand, one of her lips behind the pages.

if he doesn’t lean close enough and she whispers it again he’ll just stare. stare out of amusement on his part and torture for her. enough trials of this and minsoo has picked up on the hints, and hanna being shy is something new for the both of them, she’s sure he’s milking it for what it’s worth. and she’s sure her face betrays her when she tries her best not to look so flustered. still - after a few seconds he’ll lean forward and do it himself and all the stress of the moment breathes out her shoulders and melts.

she’s not sure where it comes from, the shyness, or how he knows hiding her behind his books, or the cover of her tablet does the trick but he does. 

and hanna takes all that she can in those moments. she sticks closer, pushes forward when she wants more, slips her hands to whatever part of him she can hold to keep him close and the occasional giggle when little sounds slip out that makes him smile between the kisses.

and yeah, there are a lot of kisses. they’re always tasting of coffee, chai, something warm and sweet, and gentle on her lips. minsoo’s more charming than he realizes.

so they navigate how they usually are, around this new development. around minsoo just being there, being a calming presence, around how his calm helps him to read when she’s not, and how her bouts of energy sometimes ignite the same in him. they bounce off each other, they balance each other and even new things like this are starting to fit as they learn about each other.

bonus.

there are times when the roles switch. it’s when she’s in her comfort zone, seated on one of her dad’s favorite cars, hours after a race, and hours after everyone’s gone home. there are times when minsoo might have the hint of shyness blooming on his cheek and hanna is all smiles and all open arms and bold words.

she’ll sit on the trunk of the car, night starting to creep in and all her adrenaline showing in the kick of her legs and the arms that call out to him as he wanders around. 

‘hanna.’

the fields are always empty after a race, her father’s kept her bodyguards quite the distance ( and they’ve sworn not to say anything either way ) but there’s something about how free she gets that catch him off-guard, or maybe it’s about how vulnerable she is when she truly feels free in spaces like this. 

minsoo likes to tuck their kisses in quiet moment for them and hanna likes to take all the chaos of her life and find the pockets to make it fit.

like now. 

“c’mere.” it’s said with more enthusiasm, with little wiggles of her fingers and the thrum of the car engine under her thighs. he always comes, doesn’t leave her for more than a few seconds of asking, and fits right between where her legs kick against the trunk. when he gets there she doesn’t ask, she doesn’t say much, just holds the edges of his shirt and gives him a look, a smile that he reads anywhere and she’s found out might be her secret weapon. 

kisses like this have hands scavenging through loose shirts, hands resting on her thighs and even under her chin. they always taste a little electric, maybe with the wind that’s slipping through each time their mouths open, or the few energy drinks she’s kept along to keep herself up for the races. kisses like this have parts of him and her mixing along for exactly how long they last and how she’ll ask for more with tugs and laughs.

[principalles]

@principalles // my favorite bad boy and poetry student

there’s nothing inherently special about it. as most artists come to realize, they’ll let other people assign their ideas and their thoughts to their pieces. the same can be said for tattoos, they don’t always need meanings, they don’t always have occasions. they’re just spurs of the moment, needs, urges, little places to feel and sometimes an itch to scratch. 

but jamie, jamie’s somehow found a way to give new and better meaning to the most insignificant of things. so when she’s perched on his lap, legs crossed and more interested in him than the movie they’d been watching - he wants to indulge her. he has to. 

it’s become something of a game, one that started when she’d been leaning against him at first, her hand in his and she’d asked about the words wrapped around his wrist. ‘do what you love, love what you do’. sam had had a sour pop in his mouth when she’d traced a thumb over the ink and raised it up with the question in the air. 

“that’s a reminder to keep doing art when others have shit to say.”

he’d said it simply, the relaxation of the day finally getting to him and causing his words to slip out slow and sweet. it’s how he wants anytime with jamie to go by and it’s how he lets himself truly relax. head thrown back, the sounds of the tv moving to the background as her own questions come to the forefront. sam feels a little drunk like this - whenever her fingers start to trace and her voice starts to bleed through. 

as the memory comes back to mind, so does the lazy smile as he answers her.

‘did it hurt?’

“no more than the others.”

it was as she asked that she’d changed her position then, from facing the television to facing him, to sitting up and looking focused on this. 

summer’s are hot and sam will always prefer her pressed this close and compromise by wearing a tank top, or an open button up. he’s recently got an addition to his chest piece so while it heals he’s got nothing to hide, nothing to cover. jamie’s gotten used to it but there’s always a slight flush to her face when she remembers, one that brings a smile to his lips and a kiss to hers if he can manage.

he doesn’t do it this time because he watches her eyes wander, watches the questions and the fascination build up in her eyes. he watches the heat die down from her cheeks to her neck and her hands moving to break her out her stupor. her fingers are feather-light barely padding across his skin, following the lines of every tattoo she sees and questions with her eyes before she can get the words out. sam lets her, watches her, dares not to move if only to squeeze his thumbs into her hips to hold her steady.

‘sammie.’ “hm?”

she outlines one in particular, going around his right shoulder and a little into his chest, it’s dragon scales that wrap halfway down his arm and his undearm. there’s the question in her eyes as her fingers linger.

“video game character i played had it. my buddy was getting his certification so i let him do it.”

she keeps moving and he keeps answering. the small ones, tinier designs that he just fit where he could, some of things he likes, some of things he dreamed of. he opens up more of his days before moving here the more she moves across his skin. from art exhibits he’s frequented, to favorite animals, mythical creatures and even cartoon characters, sam’s arms are little pieces of him that he doesn’t think about until now. 

‘this one?’

her fingers trace lightly, across the beginning of his chest piece and up the side of his neck where it begins. it’s his favorite one and she touches it so gingerly he has to take a second to breathe and focus to answer.

“my mom’s favorite flower - and her birthday.” her lips part into an ‘oh’ quiet fascination still swimming in her eyes, fingers still reaching, searching as they slip behind his ear and try to trace where she knows the other tattoo is. sam’s eyes close shut on reflex, jamie’s fingers a soft and gentle reminder of all she is to him and how easily she has him in her grasp, how easily he wants to lean into the touch and just fall into the couch. ‘behind it?’ “the sun and the moon together - to remind me to relax.” he has to clear his throat a bit, ground himself as he tries to answer. focus less on the heat that follows her fingertips, the tingles through his skin that he can still map from where it started to where she. the smell of her, the jasmine perfume, the feel of her, weighted and soft and something to curl into, to pull to and fall into.

jamie’s hands still play around, curiosity in every touch, like she’s trying to find every line, every stroke that made each piece what it is. her hands flit behind his ears, behind his neck and sam - breathes through it all. 

“jay.” ‘hm?’

she sits back at that, maybe from the sound in his voice, the obvious strain, but her fingers slide forward just as easily as she moves and he exhales again.

“gettin’ kinda hard to focus.” ‘oh - does it make you sleepy?’

quite the opposite.

she sounds disappointed, almost like there’s more she wants to learn and more she wants to ask, but sam doesn’t know how many more questions he can answer. and he breathes out a laugh at the sound of her voice and fixes her with a stare, a stare whose meaning she misses because her eyes land on another, on the side of his ribcage.

‘is this new!’ there’s so much excitement, he has to smile and regard which one she’s referring to. it’s jasmine flowers up the side of his chest, under his armpit and wrapping close to his pec muscles. there are words along it and a date along the stems. she focuses on it longer and sam watches the words repeat softly on her lips. ’are those - that’s one of my poems.’

“that’s the day i went to your open mic.” ‘when you asked if i minded someone getting a tattoo of my poetry…’ “yeah, i had joon do it for me.”

her thumb graces over the words, still covered in second skin for healing and the sensitivity is enough to push him over the edge.

‘sorry - does it still hurt? what’s it feel like?’ there’s a tug of her teeth against her lips at that, and sam uses that second, that split second to breathe out a final resolve before he’s pulling her close, stories and memories be damned. lips on hers and laughter at how sudden it is. 

“i’ll show you.”

sam’s fond, drunk on it and so in love that he lets every memory, every sensation that’s still flowing in his veins start to multiply on her. for every breath her couldn’t get out, any sound just to let her continue asking, learning, he hears it with every nip, every kiss and every bite. just as her fingers did, her travels about, taking in the giggles and the gasps and the wiggles of jamie closer, further, gentle, animated. he takes it all in until he thinks he’s sated and then he takes some more. 

over and over until pink isn’t the only color blooming on her skin. 

later, when she’s flushed and pressed against him again, when the television is background noise again and sam’s arms are wrapped around her, he gets the chance to answer.

“feeling sleepy?” ‘shut up.’ “it felt like that.”

[principalles]

hehe. a continuation. @principalles

1. 

with bo it’s the subtlest of things, the sweetest of things. it’s a gentle brush out of respect for who he is and who she will soon be. it’s nothing outwardly spoken but it’s something so treasured and so viewed that it means more to the people around them when they see it.

it’ll be on the back of her hand, the softest of touches, from the rub of his thumb to the brush of his lips before uttering a good morning, or asking for another impromptu dance. its paired with a hello gorgeous in his language or hers, and a smile for the way her cheeks apple upon contact and grow redder with the more he just has to plant afterward. 

it’ll be on the side of her cheek, another good morning coming along but the scenery is always a corridor or the study rooms, always early and in the midst of daily activities. their rooms are far apart for the nature of what to become of them and traditions, but he manages to sneak by to whisper a hello and to drop by a flower or two.

or three.

bo’s mornings start earlier than joy’s, and he can’t seem to get by them without seeing her face and if she’s up early to stroll with his mother, he can’t say he’s bothered about details why. 

it’s for courtesy, it’s for image, but it’s also because of the way he sees her. not as delicate but treasured, adored, something to cherish and to be grateful for. it’s the tenderness in which bo delivers the most subtle of kisses, that when they do reach her lips, when they’re secluded and a little giddy, nothing can quite sum up the feeling. 

that’s why, try as he might he’s holding her a little closer, breathing her in a little better for how quick the moment must be and how quick she must go. for how long he can hold onto the feeling, of fingers in his shirt and an eagerness returned in the places they can have to themselves.

2. 

with hyuncheol it’s never a dull moment. 

it might come with petnames, with a babe in the form of whines from behind jinsoo’s head. with a honey, or a sweetheart for the proverbial tick mark to appear on her temple before she turns around ready to hurl the nearest book at his head.

it never makes it that far because he catches her there, hold her there with a smile only after he’s gotten one or two in. because try as she might, jinsoo can never hide the way the kisses manage to catch her off guard and hyuncheol cannot ignore the triumph he gets whenever she visibly stumbles over words, her arms stutter mid-throw and he can get a good few in before she’s raging after him.

or when he’s calling her over, something low and mischievous and when she’s hunched over to ask what he needs help with - he’s stealing another. and another. and another. 

with hyuncheol sometimes he says it and sometimes he just does it. sometimes it’s for him because he needs it, misses it and craves it and sometimes its for her. sometimes its for the little moments of tension he picks up on but doesn’t say anything about. for all that’s developed between them there’s still things they might hold onto, both a little too stubborn to bother the other, but both homing beacons for the other’s stress.

where jinsoo might come over and sit herself in his lap, he’ll grab her hand and drag her for a ride on the bike. he’ll assign no meanings to the way her hands curl in his shirt or her face digs into the back of his jacket. 

but for hyuncheol, these kisses are reminders of freedom so he takes as many as he can get. because there’s comfort in knowing he can and there’s trust in knowing he can. 

3. 

with yongguk, it’s sweet. it’s always something sweet.

chungha’s often warned him about going out of his way to be this good to her, but it’s something he can’t help. as his sphere’s grown smaller and smaller over the years, the span of his affection has grown for those around him.

for his sister, his brother, ex-members now brothers as well.

and her. 

so it’s usually over a dinner, or on the way home from a dinner, hand in hers, sometimes it’s over the head of a bouquet of flowers, and sometimes behind the clasp of a necklace. it’s always gentle, it’s always something that leaves her chasing and him with a huge smile and fondness that’s visible in every exhale as he laughs, as he holds her close.

there’s an intensity to it, as there often is with anything he does carefully. it makes the moments flow like molasses but sweet like it should be never-ending and there’s no other way for it to be. it’s meant for the moments they can’t see each other and meant to make the moments they do all the more worth it. 

it’s meant to keep some normality to this, to dating, to loving and to being allowed to, in gentle ways, in ways that remind the person that’s what they are.

loved.

enjoyed.

cherished.

yongguk makes sure each kiss says such.

4. 

with taeyang. it’s subtle. so subtle that he’s often lost as to how hyunshik picks up on the cues. but hyunshik does and he does it in a way that makes it sudden for everyone else, but right on time for the person it’s intended for.

for the one who matters the most. 

with taeyang it’s always something a little grounding, a little sought out without him knowing. 

sought out when his elbow starts to slide on coffee tables and his eyes remain unfocused but zeroed in on his boyfriend. when the coffee isn’t helping and he’s just waiting for them to walk home. when hyunshik slips over, slips a kiss in between seconds that taeyang can only smile into and believe as a dream.

until hyunshik’s co-working are ooh-ing and ahh-ing over it and he’s burying his head in his arms.

it’s sought out when they’re walking, hand in hand and taeyang’s eyes are barely open and the summer heat makes him want to crawl into a blanket rather than soak in a pool. when it makes him want to curl into his boyfriend like a cat and hyunshik reminds them they have tasks, grocery shopping and what-not. taeyang who nods through it, eyes barely open and hyunshik who kisses him because he can, a fondness taeyang can’t see but he can almost feel against his lips. 

it’s especially sought-out in the mornings, a coffee mug ready to slip from his fingers and hyunshik asking what they should have for breakfast. hyunshik’s taking to doing the talking when taeyang is too tired to function, or when he’s not quite all there yet and he prefers to listen to coffee beans grind and his boyfriend’s voice, rough in the morning to snap him awake. taeyang follows the voice, his head moving as hyunshik moves about the kitchen, but his eyes don’t open and when hyunshik asks if he’s listening: he smiles.

it’s the smile that seems to say it because seconds later the mug is out his hands, there’s kisses again and again until he feels the touch of fabric on his feet and then on his legs. then he’s surrounded and curling into hyunshik like they’d never left the bed in the first place.

[principalles]

TW: I love you.

@loveurn

This would be her last academic year, she could feel in the air, something was going to shift and she was going to have to catch on fast to the current of the wind. Jamie had found a good balance through many things though, Sam had come in as a surprise, a big one. One that was so unexpected that she still had to wonder how she managed to let him settle as if he’d always been planned, when he had not! None of this, his clothes filling in half of her closet, his shoes being left at her front door. A double of her key, and double for his apartment for her hanging right on the wall of said entrance door. 

Jamie had been wondering if this was not an ominous sign of just how permanent his presence was becoming, further than that, if these keys were once going to lead to only one living room, one bedroom and one kitchen. Then she’d catch herself tilting her head and wondering why she was even wondering if this was an ominous sign at all. This was more so of a certain future. 

When did it become like that? The same way and at the same time as everything else had always become certain with Sam; without her even knowing. She’d been unwrapping all of these surprise boxes, expecting them to be empty, or perhaps just holding something predictable, for the most part things had felt like that for the longest. But whenever it came to the ones Sam brought forth, with his hands sometimes still wearing the lingering scent of dried paint as they would find purchase wherever they could. Her face, her hair, behind her ears--twisting her lobes, the back of her neck, her shoulders, her fingers--sliding right through them momentarily, although the squeeze he would give would be tight enough to have her immediately leaning in to contribute herself with her own lips sealing a good morning or good night or a simple hello. 

The way she loved how it made him sigh in her mouth right before he’d open up for a soft kiss, a tender one that’d have his hands finding her waist, the small of her back and suddenly gravity was a hard concept for her feet to grasp onto. Sometimes, it felt like his sigh was one that was still surprised at the idea that he could do this, or that she wanted him here with her, or that they were together and there wasn’t anything else existing between them. 

Jamie had felt many times taken aback, bewildered by how things had evolved, but one thing had always shocked her more than anything else; she’d never felt like this wasn’t meant to be or that it’d ever up and leave her. Was it because she’d trusted him from the beginning? No, far from it. The beginnings had had its bouts of doubts because she hadn’t known then, truly, what she’d even been unwrapping so slowly but surely. It was because of something else, that’d always sat where he’d managed to unfurl so many vibrant butterflies’ wings. As they flew and brushed past her in a way that made her insides unrelentlessly churn with the ticklish sensation that this would be it, this was it, he was it. Sam was it. 

She was half way through her semester, but this morning, Sam was halfway into making her get to her morning class too late to apologize and have it be forgiven by her professor. Jamie had to go, she had to make him let go, she had to--she managed to pull back just enough for their foreheads to stay touching. It felt like if she took a step back and put some air between them, too much of it, she’d lose her footing and she’d start this morning with twinges of regret dancing in her stomach. Jamie was not particularly fond of those side effects when it came to saying goodbye to him. 

It didn’t matter that they’d spent the whole week glued, or the whole day, or the night before. That her sheets still had the scents of them wrapped in it, her pillows would wear the touch of his shampoo for days and days until laundry day would come knocking. But it would take a mere 24 hours for it to again be drenched in his scent. Jamie might or might not make him stay over after laundry days because she hated the smell of the detergent that would wash away all traces of him from her pillows. 

Truth be told, she hated anything that took him away and made it obvious that she would miss him, that she missed him even when he was here. She hated him for being a part of her that she never wanted to be apart from. More than anything, she loved, loved that she could taste the bitterness of those feelings and feel them melt into nothing else but a sweet tangible touch of; Sam will never leave her. 

“I’ll miss you.” Jamie finally breathed with relief, accepting the next kiss he silenced her with, a quiet sigh pressed against his mouth before she moved back again. She smiled when he groaned and leaned back in, she let him kiss her again, because why not. 

“Hey, did you hear me?” She asked after the third time his lips tried to linger. 

“Hm?” 

Something tender let itself be known as she opened her eyes to take in the sight of him so focus on nothing else but chasing her lips that it bubbled a giggle from her she quickly quieted down by being the one to kiss him instead. 

“I have to go,” 

Sam’s hands knew that, they weren’t letting go, because they knew that. 

“But have I told you today,” Jamie waited, patiently, her arms sliding along his shoulders and her nose bumping into his. She avoided the next lunge he made for her lips, then the next, and the next, until he blinked open one eye, his eyebrow arching along with the action. Jamie wanted to go, well no, she had to go, so she had to want to go, right? It made complete sense to not incite more resistance from him, especially not when he was still half asleep and thinking he was owed all of her time. He was, but he didn’t need to know that. But Jamie also wasn’t sure of how badly she wanted to not be chastised for being late when he was looking so wanting, wanting her, and what Sam wanted seemed to always prevail over everything else. 

This was unfair, but it was right. 

“What is it?” His voice made her blink. So much for evading his kisses, now she was getting lost in his eyes, great, the cheesiest things she’d ever done. One of them at least. 

“I love you.” 

That solidified one thing at least; she could forget making it on time to class this morning. 

[principalles]

@principalles

“can i help?”

sam doesn’t know why, or what came over hime really, all he knows is he’s been watching, he’s been quiet and before he could realize the words had already left his lips. jamie had been sitting by the edge of the bed, near the vanity he’s had set up for her for when she’s getting up to leave. sometimes he’s content just watching her, gentle touches along wherever he can reach, trying to coax her back into bad. other times he’s completely still, propping himself up, going through his duties for the day and getting distracted by every move she makes.

it’s hanna’s influence, it has to be. it’s that or just a new hobby of hers, nothing too serious, but as the vanity came, so did the accessories to accompany it.

and sam’s if anything, fascinated as hell.

he doesn’t expect an answer after asking, he expects the weird look, the pause, but not much of an answer. he really expects nothing to come out of it, but jamie’s shrugging and holding out the cushion she’d been applying powder with out towards him. 

there’s a pause, then a look to make sure she’s serious.

‘i’ve gotta go sammy.’

so he shuffles towards her, legs thrown over the edge of the bed so he can sit up and get closer. 

“look at me,” his finger’s coaxing her chin before he really gets the words out, and jamie’s a little startled, though there are several things that can contribute to that. sam’s eyeing the canvas, eyeing her in the way he always does really, but with more purpose, with more attention to all the colors that make her who she is. all the reasons why light pinks and subtle oranges look just as good as blue shimmers and highlights. all the reasons why gloss with pink sparkles look even better than a nude that blends right in.

“do you want eyeliner?” ‘you can do eyeliner?’

he ignores the question in favor of deciding how he wants to play this. there’s so many colors and so many decisions to make. not to mention she does have somewhere to be and he’d gotten a little distracted painting the gloss on her lips.

just a little. until she’d swatted his arm and told him the point of lip gloss was not to be used up because he kept kissing her. and to that he did it again for good measure.

“close your eyes.”

there’s something strangely calming about this that he hadn’t expected. maybe it’s the proximity, sam’s always a little more at peace when he’s got jamie this close to him, when she’s got this much trust. not just in doing her makeup but in seeing her like this, in trusting him enough to be here, be him as much as she trust herself to be her. it’s a little overwhelming really.

the minute her eyes flutter shut and a little of the eyeshadow dusts off her lashes. the way the highlight on her cheeks start to shine because she can’t stop grinning each time her gives orders, and how her teeth bite at the gloss each time his finger maneuvers her face to observe his work.

everything about her, highlighted for him to see, to admire, smoothing into the softest of colors and focuses for sam to lose himself in day after day.

“i’ve made a mistake.” ‘what is it - how do i look?’ “like i don’t want to let you out.” ‘sam.’

he relents, the thumb that’d been passing over her cheeks, her lips and all his handiwork pausing before he gets carried away. there’s a sigh and he’s leaning back until the sheets catch his body in a thud, the sound as comical as the unnecessary groan that leaves his lips.

“all done then.” ‘really?’ he can almost hear the anticipation in her voice, peeks just a little to watch her observe herself in the mirror. ‘wow.’ he hears her shuffling next, and uses what reach he has to tug on the sleeve of her shirt, midway into her fastening the band around her fingers. “leave your hair down.” ‘it’s hot.’ “artist’s orders.”

‘is that like a thing - are artists just good at makeup?’ he hears her more adubily now and deduces she must’ve gotten up, hears the shuffling around to indicate she’s getting her things. sam takes another look, gets a glimpse of how he’s matched it perfectly to her outfit, how it all comes together and the sun seems to be mocking him with the little trickles of light that bounce off her skin. jamie catches him - she always does and he struggles to remember the question.

“sometimes. it’s the model that matters more.” ‘are you gonna draw me like your french girls?’ “depends - do you want to be on time today?”

she’s groaning his name and leaving him with the briefest of kisses before heading out.

and sam, he might have a couple more pages to fill out in his sketchbook before getting to work today. 

[principalles]

just things.

@principalles / 

‘i want a kiss.’

1.

with jaesun he’ll either just say it or do it. he doesn’t really have to announce it and their relationship has reached a level where haeri just knows. for some there’s fear in that, for jaesun there’s comfort in having someone that knows him enough to know a look, or a slump of his shoulders. these days its from finishing up from his finals, his studies drawing to a close and his concentration waning. between that and a new place his affection comes in short spurts or full bursts. sometimes its all he can do, throw his arms around her and let the stress slip like that, with kisses littering her neck.

other times its in him slumping against his desk and trying to finish up essay after essay. those days he doesn’t say anything, those days he’s cooped up until he finishes and those days haeri calls it his ‘i need my girlfriend’ days. they’re less intense than the days she would cradle his knuckles when they’d be bruised and angry, or when she’d press her lips to the wrinkles in his brow and watch the anger bleed from his shoulders. 

it’s less intense these days, but still just as important. jaesun would be blinking to a bright screen before she’d settle in his lap, block his view and give him all the strength he needs with exactly what he needs. a few to his cheeks, a few to his nose, and a few to his forehead. 

sometimes its easy for him to fall back into his work after that and sometimes its easier to just fall into bed and ignore it for a few minutes. either way, its easier when he’s got someone like haeri that knows him down to the bone. 

and he’d have it no other way.

2. 

with sam, he’ll do. he’ll always just do. but for him there’s a look that precedes it. there’s never a specific place for it either or a specific reason, he’s just hit with the urge as he’s hit with the reminder. it’s reminders of affection that rush over him and for sam there’s no other outlet than to go ahead and act on it. 

it might be more for himself than he realizes, and it’s come across in the most domestic of moments. and jamie, she’s caught on for sure, and he can’t get enough of the way the realization flows across her face in pinks and peaches. she’s been wearing glitter eyeshadow lately too so that hasn’t helped. 

there’s the shine she normally has, the one where he wants to paint her for ages and ages, and there’s the actual shine that starts sparkling whenever the sun hits her right on their dates. or the twinkle in her eyes when its morning and she’s going over her notes by the kitchen counter. when she’s pulling up her hair and trying to get ready when she’s not even out of bed. when she glances up at him as she’s ranting about a movie choice to ask if he’s even paying attention. when she’s telling him about recent things, interesting things, anything really, practically leaning over a cafe table in excitement because they’ve been planning to visit there for ages.

sam’s caught in moment like this. 

he’s caught and when she catches him, there’s a split second, maybe a ‘sam don’t you dare’ in her eyes but shy mischief in her lips when he leans forward and does it anyway. 

in bed where they’ll fall back over and she’ll be a little late. in the cafe where she’ll swat him with a menu after and the waitresses will smile at them. during the movie until it’s forgotten in favor of the squeaks she makes and in the morning, by the counter before she just accepts it and goes back to talking.

with sam its just the comfort of knowing he can.

3. 

with hyungwon, there’s always a peculiar silence around it. he’ll never just do no matter how many times andrei entertains the thought, no matter how many times he’ll joke and tell him to just go for it. 

that’s the kind of boldness he’s never quite had and that’s why he and andrei complement each other so well. where andrei will saunter up and fit into his space, hyungwon will hover around, take quiet steps reminiscent of the kitten that’s now grown and finding ways to make their apartment his own. where andrei is content just reaching over, hyungwon mid-sentence or midway into an assignment and press a kiss wherever he wants, hyungown’s still somewhat shy to the thought.

he knows he can, they have their own place, he’s comfortable in his affection he’s just never been that affectionate, it’s just how he is. 

that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be. and it especially happens after long bouts of working, a the end of a successful collection when he’s worked himself a little too thin and the adrenaline’s worn off. it happens when the parties have ended, the celebrations and the cameras gone, andrei either helping him tidy up their apartment from the aftermath of his workspace and stress.

it happens with hyungwon pacing around the apartment, following close behind andrei but not really helping, not really doing anything really.

‘you’re following me’, andrei will mention it sometimes, other times he’ll let it happens. he’ll wait until hyungwon just grabs something, an edge of his shirt, an end of his sleeve, his hand. the adrenaline’s gone by now and he doesn’t have to tug hard, or say anything, the touch is enough. andrei will pull him closer, sweep him up and give him all he needs without a word leaving his lips.

hyungwon gives the inch and andrei seems to know when to make it the mile, and that’s why he loves him.

4.

with jae, she’ll say it. she will always say it, she’s rather forward about it as she is about everything.

it’s really a matter of hayeon indulging her or not. it might depend on where they are, on what eyes could be on them and then it would depend on what they’re doing. usually it’s just a matter of where they are, as jae has no care for things such as tact or manners as hayeon’s often told her. 

so, it leaves them with jae in the middle of handing out the beers and the trays to some of her recent hires, and stopping mid-sentence to ask hayeon for one. the new hires are busy staring with wide eyes and flushed cheeks as jae leans over the hayeon, who was admittedly minding her own business, to ask for one. 

jae has no reason for asking nor does she have a big need for one, knowing when the bar closes she’s free to indulge in as many as she wants, but it’s in her personality to play games like this. and it’s in hayeon’s nature to decide if she’ll indulge her or not. 

around the new kids she almost never does. or days when hayeon barely gets a foot in the door of the tavern and jae’s forgetting about a customer, bounding over to ask for one. she does it often and everyone around the tavern is used to it by now but she’s more importantly intrigued by people who hear of the place by word of mouth and are surprised at how free-spirited she can be. 

in these spur of the moment situations hayeon always maneuvers away from her. it’s either by sidestepping or going about her business. more often than not it’s when they’re in public. jae is not to insecure that she’ll say it’s about titles or about shame, she’ll merely laugh it off and continue about her day. things like this will roll off her shoulders because these aren’t the important ones. 

what’s important is knowing the intention behind everything. what’s important is that she knows hayeon past how she’ll act in the tavern or walking around town. she knows hayeon past short phrases and furrowed brows. she knows hayeon who helps tidy up the back when she’s running a longer shift in the front. she knows hayeon who is quick to shoo her towards her room for a break when she insists the newbies can handle it. 

she knows hayeon who would never deny her, when the day’s done and she’s less mischief and more want. she knows hayeon who doesn’t hesitate to meet her on the bed, wrap around her before she can even get the words out. that is what matters.

5.  

with soohyuk, it’s never said but it’s a routine now. it’s had to become a routine so when it’s missed he makes sure to grab hold of it. 

literally so.

they’ve never really been allowed a break from what they do, their passions requiring that they’re kept busy whether it’s perfecting their craft or looking for more work. there are times when their schedules don’t align despite trying their best so what’s become important has been waking up to say bye to one another and coming home to one another.

whichever one they can manage is a blessing and the time is coveted.

the times when they could wake up and eat together, make coffee and have a few moments before schedules kicked in, they were hard to come by. the times when soohyuk had enough time to leave his schedules and pick her up, often choosing to find a place to eat out together after, were also hard to come by. time with the two of them was always precious but it was always understood as hard to acquire, a product of their respective jobs and something they’ve long past accepted.

due to that they’ve found ways around it. 

it’s sometimes when he hears her, shuffling around in the morning and he’s willing the sleep from his body. when he knows she’s already been in the shower and she’s back tot he bed to grab all her items before leaving. sometimes he can grab it before she’s out the room, other times he’s got to grab it before she leaves the apartment. that often requires him to leave the bed but it’s worth it, the few steps behind her to wrap his arms around her waist before she reaches the door.

she’s used to it and her laughter is quiet and fond when she turns around to grant him the kiss he seeks out.

it’s the same when he’s up, filing through scripts or his schedule, with her flitting around because she’s meeting some friends for lunch. the times he can be home are very few and if he’s home he’s typically caught up in work. still - he knows the sounds she’ll make before heading to the door, he’ll hear the jingle of her keys and her voice, amused and frantic on the phone. that’s when he does it, catches her hand in his before she flies by.

she knows without even asking now and soohyuk only has to lean forward to catch her cheek after pressing two to her hand. hyuna’s all smiles and giggles before rushing out and promising to see him later. 

there’s comfort in this routine- comfort and heavy domesticity too. he could spend time thinking of why it’s so comforting or why he needs to do it, search where it’s possibly come from but that’s not important. what’s important is getting the moment that he can and fitting each other into every space they can.

[principalles]

@principalles

taeyang had another habit. it was nothing serious, nothing out of the ordinary either just something he hadn’t taken notice of. it’d fallen into his routine so easily that he hadn’t quite had time to realize it. ever the perceptive one, hyunshik was the one to mention it. it did take some time though. 

there were a few things that had to fall in place for it to get noticed. it was noticed nonetheless though. 

the other habits that fell into place were as follows:

1) hyunshik sleeping over more often, the product of taeyang finishing up his internships with later shifts, them walking home after said shifts, staying up even later because of ridiculous schedules. something that ended in tangled limbs, and their makeshift fort becoming a safe haven when the day had spun on too long. 

2) their fort safehaven and hyunshik’s arms making taeyang’s dreamless nights a little more bearable, insomnia being a dull remember but not a constant. taeyang wasn’t sure when he started to get more hours of sleep but he’s sure hyunshik’s got some magic in his shampoo because burying his head into his neck always does the trick. and so restless nights became more restful.

3) taeyang’s late shifts at the hospital were making coffee shop morning visits damn near impossible, so as his shifts switched and thinned out, so did his time at the coffee shop. late nights turned into mid afternoons or early call-ins where he could barely pull himself out of bed. this ended with instead hyunshik being the one to shake him out of his sleep, especially when he’s started learning the joy of a night’s rest. 

4) taeyang being unable to grab coffee before the morning rush turned into his sister impulse gifting him a small espresso machine, a pre-graduation present. what began as hyunshik groaning at the instrument became mornings with taeyang smelling the coffee before he heard the machine go off.

hyunshik making coffee in the morning led to discovery of the habit in question. the one that gets pointed out one saturday morning. taeyang’s got a later shift so he’s dragging himself out their fort a little late, sleep still set in his cheeks and his eyes. hyunshik is busy with the machine, and the kiss is a lazy one before taeyang uses his palm as a rest for his head.

the mornings are spent like this, the machine more of a humming than a nuisance and his eyes following hyunshik’s hands as they always do.

‘stop that.’

taeyang’s admittedly not awake enough to realize he’s being spoken to, but he blinks and tries to listen again. words don’t quite come out but the look he gives hyunshik conveys the question easy enough.

‘smiling like that, you’ve been smiling - differently.’

oh.

had he? taeyang’s a pretty bright person, he’s not overly excited as he never has the energy for it, but he’s a pretty cheerful guy, more on the mellow side of cheerful. 

“well - so have you.”

the mug that’s on its way to his hands stops midway.

‘i’ve what?’ “you’ve been smiling differently.”

without wanting to elaborate further taeyang is leaning forward to take hold of the coffee calling his name. hyunshik’s been learning to make his regular order with their machine and he’s always overcome with warmth when he tastes it when it’s fresh. something about the freshness of the espresso in the first five minutes - he doesn’t care much. but as he’s touching it, he realizes hyunshik’s hands haven’t quite let go. 

‘i’ve been smiling differently?’ “differently, a lot. i don’t know. your co workers were giggling about it. you’re cute either way.”

that does the trick - or it does something because he’s able to pull the mug free and bring it close to his lips.  it always smells so good, taeyang wants to slip back into bed.

‘why are you smiling like that you haven’t even tried it?’

a blink, taeyang’s mid part into blowing to cool it down.

“well,“ another blow, a softer smile. “you made it that’s why.”

he finally does take a sip and he’s correct - it tastes as good as it smells. taeyang almost slips through the chair, so instead he reaches for hyunshik’s hand, halfway out leaving the stool at the counter.

“let’s nap.”

his hand misses its mark, and his leg barely hits the ground because hyunshik’s around the counter corner, in his space and with his lips pressed to taeyang’s own. it’s not a brief kiss, but it’s not a long one either, it’s enough that he knows the taste of coffee might linger on hyunshik’s lips when they pull apart. it’s enough that taeyang has to grip the mug and set it down to collect his bearings. hyunshik barely gives him time, forehead pressed close and eyes glancing from taeyang’s lips to his eyes.

‘coffee supposed to keep you up right?’

there’s a nod, taeyang is sure he nodded, he’s also sure his feet touched the ground to follow hyunshik to the couch but he feels like he floated there. he doesn’t know when he picked the mug back up but it’s in his hands on the way there. and he tastes coffee again but he’s not sure if it’s on lips, or on the rim of the mug.

either way, he lets it envelop him for as long as he’s supposed to nap. and he memorizes the curve of hyunshik’s smile through it all. 

[principalles]

loveurn​:

goddamn giddy. that was the word, that was the perfect word to describe it. forget giddy, dylan left her dumbstruck, with any rebuttals or words lingering in the air after the kiss. brief, unexpected and flooding her body with all the emotions that always bubble near the surface. they’re never too far with dylan, the tingles, the reminders that they aren’t in the same relationship they were prior to the vacation.

there were times, moments where sooyoung contemplated considering it a fluke, the words, the touches and the hints. all it took was a few seconds in his car and a streak of boldness on her part to erase all the doubts. still, hours later, days later and she thinks back to how long she’d spent burying her head in her pillow and asking if it really happened. shrieking into her bedsheets and asking herself why she’d done that and if she’d really wanted it forget the embarrassment and the pink that often dusts her cheeks, he’s her boss, he’s what her friends might consider ‘out of her league’ and here she is kissing him at her doorstep seconds from slipping off her bunny slippers.

all the real doubts, the tangible ones that people can see, call her out on, all those disappear in seconds like these. in moments when dylan catches her off-guard and makes her think it’ll be worth it. he has a way of doing it so subtly, so smooth and she’s barely registering that his lips are on hers before they’re already off and she’s leaning forward, a subtle lean for more until her hands steady her by grabbing onto the edges of his shirt. it’s clumsy but it’s how she composes herself, how she allows her eyes to flit back open and remind her that this isn’t a dream and she can’t just get lost in his sweet words, and his charming smile…his warm hands…

goddammit.

he’s doing some kind of magic and she’ll figure it out. but right now she needs to snap out of it because her neighbors are nosy and the last time she’d lost herself in a kiss with dylan, they’d turned to very curious eyes staring at the side of his car window.

“c-come…get inside.” 

oh it’s so not fair how easy this is for him. or how easy it is to tell the way her body wants to lean forward for more and she has to bite her lips to stutter out the words, grip his shirt to tug him in and not closer and back down to her lips.

nope. inside, they need to get inside. she needs to step away and catch her breath. instead the door’s closing on her heel and she’s tugging him by the edge of his shirt, shuffling with what little jelly she’s got left in her legs.

“my neighbors will have a field day because of you.”

she made him want to take a quick look around for said neighbours, but the curiosity for that was not stronger than his need to keep his eyes on her, so he’d take her word for it. dylan had better things, more beautiful details to zero in on. he happened to like the way he seemed to make her focus on nothing else but him, whether she was conscious of it or not, he could tell many little things that would slip now and then. little things that had been growing more obvious since that kiss in his car, it was not wrong to assume that he’d opened a door between them that somehow made sooyoung safer in how affectionate she wanted to be with him. 

which made it a little harder to hold himself back during office hours, and maybe, that was why he felt like he was always unloading a tad bit too much of everything whenever he had the means to do so without any remorse or hesitation. if she traced a line for him to not step over, he wouldn’t. but he’d indulge until the next time he had to be left behind that boundary again, so there would always be someway to balance out how he wanted to hold her, how he wanted to kiss her, how he wanted to keep her with him 24/7, and keep ehr leaning against him, and keep her holding onto him. for now, she was simply doing so to apparently keep him from creating some kind of neighbourhood gossip, but he’d focus on the fact that she was doing so. 

take in a breath of the scent of her apartment, filled with touches of her presence in every corner, and by now, dylan knew what those touches were. she’d probably done the same to him, left pieces of her scattered in a puzzle that was slowly consolidating in a place that she would eventually call home within him. if that wasn’t already done. because he was feeling a rather fond tug in his chest at how she was making him follow behind her, dylan turned around as soon as the door was closed to face her again. the world was better when he was looking at her see, a whole lot better, and the things that seemed to matter suddenly found a place in his world that were less and less important than sooyoung, and he found that he liked that. he liked that a little too much. 

“i know this was sudden, but thank you for letting me in.” as much as he might want to keep his hands to himself, that was mission impossible, so dylan let one of his hand free to find a side of her face, and his thumb to stroke its way across her skin. 

“i missed you.” and that made him smile, because they’d only been apart since friday, today was saturday night. but it was true. “how have you been?”