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playing poker with my friend and he lays down a straight flush but it has two kings so i tell him that’s wrong but it’s pride month and the gay flush is allowed during this month

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me: *reading the way of kings for the first time*

*the king dies in the prologue*

me: oh well, i guess he didn’t get his way

(not embarrassed to say i laughed out loud at my own lame joke)

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Date night but its just us smoking blunts and making porn

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imagine how angry elhokar would be if he knew jasnah was fucking wit. i died and now my sister is shagging my court jester and she doesn't even like it that much (i would be sooo much cuter in his bed) and all i got was this storming tshirt.

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you're cute and it's tuesday

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Continually filling your mutual's dash with your blorbo like some sort of missionary trying to convert them

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hate an x reader fic do not put me in a situation

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Not to make an "I thought these were all part of the same post"-post, but in my defense I am currently sickly.

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“if you’re sensitive to sounds when sleeping, just use earplugs!” i cannot stress enough that the sensory feeling of having my ears fully blocked AND now being able to hear my own heartbeat and breathing and every other sound that’s happening inside my own body is a million times worse than whatever ambient noise may be keeping me awake

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jasnah kholin feels like she was designed in a lab to appeal to Me Specifically to an extent which is frankly alarming

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i love men that know when to just shut their fucking mouth

i’ve never met one

but i love the concept

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I love you Jasnah Kholin

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I love a woman with a loud ass laugh. I love a cackle. I love a guffaw. Love when a bitch laughs so hard it scares the dog. Be unapologetic in your joy.

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Wind and Truth Spoilers!!

Learning that Szeth’s villain origin story is his emotional support sheep got killed and eaten and so he crashed out and killed a dude is so valid

But also

Does this just mean that Szeth is John Wick?

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a lot of characters in the stormlight archive look drastically different depending on whether they're narrating or if someone else is narrating (kaladin, shallan, and szeth all come off very differently when you're getting their inner monologue rather than other people's opinions on them), but the gap between jasnah's narration and how other people see here is genuinely hilarious. almost every single character treats her like a near-inhuman creature of pure logic and intelligence, with only the characters who know her well noting that it's plainly a mask, and then the moment you get her inner monologue she's screaming IF I DON'T KNOW HOW OTHER PEOPLE FEEL I'LL DIE

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daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone