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All I want is to love you and see you being the happiest version of you
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listen, when i go to open my mouth & what comes out is 12 degrees of seperation from what the original topic was, u need to connect the dots bitch. think fast. i’m not gonna hold ur hand but we’re leaving now and visiting every topic along the line. wave it goodbye, don’t get hung up on it
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TEXT ME WHEN YOU GET HOME or I’m going to be worried about you BITCH.
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It's been a while since I've done one of these and hopefully I can still do it well enough. I love you so very much and just wanted to say it because I'm really missing you at the moment I know it hasn't been super long since I last saw you but it's never often enough. I needed to use some of the elastic bands in your washbag yesterday because I didn't have cufflinks and it was a bit of a faff and that meant today your deodorant was still out on my desk. I smelled it because why not and it was so weird, it was as if for a second my brain just thought that you were there with me and then it was quite dissapointing when you weren't. I am sorry I didn't come with you to London today but especially after i heard back about yesterday I would not have been very much fun to be around. I have naturally been thinking a lot about my future recently though and although there's a lot of uncertainty one thing that is a huge comfort to me, and to a degree tells me it doesn't matter exactly where I end up, is the strong belief/knowledge that I'll have you there with me. Whatever the work is I know that my life will be great if I'm getting to come home to you everyday and I can picture the smile on your face as whichever one of us gets in last, and with that smile all my worries will melt away and it'll make me so so happy. I think it might also be worth mentioning that you are quite an inspiration in that regard, you have more passion and drive than anyone I've ever met before and I know this leads to a lot of frustration for you but you just may not realise that it also has that affect on me. I may not admit it normally but you do make me believe that I will be able to enjoy work in the future, it may take some time to find what that work is but it almost feels like a disservice to you to do something I don't enjoy. Then there's also how you want to go through all the steps of uni and become an engineer and then make you own practice and despite all the obstacles that have been put in your way, you still have that goal in mind and will continue to push for it. So essentially what I mean by that last little bit is that as well as loving you an incredible amount I also have some much respect for you and you do genuinely inspire me not only by being who I want to provide for if needs be.
You are just such a massive part of my life, and I don't just mean how were everywhere for each other, it's things like how I now only sleep on one side of the bed (even if my legs then go diagonal 😉) and half the time I spend watching something is thinking about how you'd find it. I mean I know that is love but it never ceases to amaze me how I can still love you more and more, I feel like I'm all filled up and then somehow the tank has got bigger.
I would never wish to skip the time that I'd be spending with you but whenever I'm lying facing your side of the bed it just makes me think how much I can't wait to be living with you, to have you be the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing I see at night. The prospect that that isn't actually very far away now, a year or so even if that may not be proper full time living together, is so exciting to me and whereas admitedly before I had been nervous about it, I know now that well be able to handle it so well even if you do just need to remind me to tidy up a bit or clean the bathroom more than i otherwise would. There are just so many new experiences out there and I want to try lots and see lots, but if ever I'm picturing myself doing something, you're always there with me, with that smile, lighting up my world.
Now that I've mentioned your smile a couple of times I think I may now take note from the old ones and give some time to tell you how beautiful I think you are. It is honestly breathtaking. There isn't a single part of you that I couldn't just sit and admire. From your perfect hair which gets everywhere to your suckable toes. I'm interested to see how the hair dye changes things, obviously you'll still be incredibly beautiful but it may be like falling in love with your appearance all over again which sounds very fun. Regardless of the hair though that face is so amazing, I don't know what it is about the smile but that could make me smile regardless of my mood and if you're laughing even more so and if you even slip out a snort regardless of what else happens you've made it into an excellent day, the happiness I'll feel in the brief moment will vastly overshadow anything else. Then there's also your nose which I want to make a bit of a joke about but I'm being too serious for that at the moment so I'll just have to stick to the truth. It is 100% an above average nose, and the freckle on the end of it helps to put it into the top tier if noses and if anyone's ever saying otherwise theyre just wrong I'm afraid. Then the eyes which again we have a joke about because when I'm with you, anything can make me laugh because I'm already so happy. Now it's quite late and I'm only 90% sure of which side I was on there so I may have to skip over the eyes a little bit but I love them too and can easily get lost in them.
I also adore your body, I will never get tired of running my hands up and down it even if it made me want to do something else too. I know you're not the biggest fan of it which is daft of you but hopefully you'll see it how I do someday. Even if you don't though there will come a day where we can do things like go to the gym together which I'm also very excited about not least because of the motivation you bring that I was talking about earlier so I'll be jacked in no time.
But essentially yeah I love you ridiculous amounts and have clearly been seeing you too much this year because I'm missing you lots and Tuesday or whenever I'm coming home seems way too long of a wait. You are easily my favourite thing in the whole world and I'd even go so far as to say you're my chum pro edition.
I love you.
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