probablyevilrpgideas

[probablyevilrpgideas]

Orc Vapes are made of enchanted skulls. The juice is blood in which tobacco and several psychoactive plants have been steeped, magically kept from coagulating by the vape skull.

one elf cigarette, husbanded carefully, can burn for 3 or 4 human generations. my boy your great grandpappy bummed this ciggie from the leaf-crowned prince of the splendid dales and it has burned on the mantle of our house ever since. on your 14th nameday, my son, you will puff it at last, and become a man

[probablyevilrpgideas]

Baked goods. Particularly muffins.

one elf cigarette, husbanded carefully, can burn for 3 or 4 human generations. my boy your great grandpappy bummed this ciggie from the leaf-crowned prince of the splendid dales and it has burned on the mantle of our house ever since. on your 14th nameday, my son, you will puff it at last, and become a man

[probablyevilrpgideas]

Third use: the one party member with darkvision wears them then the party can follow their footsteps

Item: neon green combat boots; leave luminous footprints. Potential uses:

Disguise them as regular boots and swap them with an enemy so you can track them

Make and sell dance step diagrams

Um

[probablyevilrpgideas]

one elf cigarette, husbanded carefully, can burn for 3 or 4 human generations. my boy your great grandpappy bummed this ciggie from the leaf-crowned prince of the splendid dales and it has burned on the mantle of our house ever since. on your 14th nameday, my son, you will puff it at last, and become a man

[probablyevilrpgideas]

Meanwhile, my Peasant Tarrasque Control idea doesn't ignore physics or RAW.

The Tarrasque is big and has a high resistance to weapons and spells. However, it cannot fly, and has little in the way of energy resistance.

So get an airship and a couple hundred or so peasants, each holding two acid flasks. Fly above the tarrasque, keeping out of its reach, and then the peasants drop their acid flasks, operating in multiple rows as necessary depending on the space on the deck. Four hundred-ish acid flasks fall on the tarrasque dealing an average of about 800 damage.

The Peasant Railgun doesn't actually work.

Or like. It does, but it doesn't do any of the stuff people claim it does.

For those who don't know, the Peasant Railgun was a thought experiment made up during the heady days of D&D 3e. The crux of the experiment was the fact that D&D 3e had Ready actions (a concept that should be familiar to even D&D 5e players) but no limitation on how many Ready actions could take place in a round, which opened the possibility for theoretically infinite chains of reactions. The idea was that you'd have an unreasonable number of peasants standing in line and the first peasant in line would hand a rock to the next peasant, which would trigger their Ready action of "if I'm handed a rock I will take it and hand it to the next peasant in line," all the way until the last peasant in the line would throw it. This would, according to some calculations, cause the object to move at unreasonable speeds in the space of a 6 second round, and thus by extrapolating the damage based on the velocity of moving objects from the falling damage rules the object would, on a hit, cause somewhere in the region of morbillion points of damage.

That of course is not what would happen. You may have noticed what just happened: people treating the rules for Falling Damage as if there was actually a universal underlying principle informing it underneath it all. But that's simply not the case. D&D 3e doesn't have rules for Falling Damage that emerge from some universal rules for Converting Velocity into Damage. It simply has rules for Falling Damage. This is what I mean when I say that D&D 3e has a physics engine but that it doesn't actually simulate anything besides D&D 3e.

You may have also noticed that there is nothing to stop this trick from working in D&D 4e or 5e. But it rarely gets brought up in conversations of those editions, because those editions don't have a reputation as being physics simulations. And to be fair, D&D 3e is the most physics simulationy edition of the three. But even it isn't a particularly good or accurate physics simulator.

I don't know what the point of this really is. People have a strong idea in their mind that D&D 3e's system acts as a physics simulator, which is only Kind Of True. Because at the end of the day while it is extremely maximalist in its design it's not exactly a game where its many specific rules interactions are derived from first principles. It simply has a lot of extremely specific interactions already accounted for in its mechanics which are the sorts of things that characters might be reasonably expected to run into in the context of a game that features some Dragons in some Dungeons.

[probablyevilrpgideas]

Setting Idea- Castellans and Dinosaurs

Basically Xenozoic Tales (Cadillacs and Dinosaurs), but the disasters happen during medieval times. Centuries later, a still roughly medieval society returns to the surface to find it reclaimed by prehistoric fauna.

[probablyevilrpgideas]

this is actually insane? i genuinely pray they don’t get away with it because it’s beyond messed up

[probablyevilrpgideas]

Inadvertently wrote up a set of core abilities for an RPG that initialize to "FAGS."

The setting explicitly has no sexual reproduction in it, it's an afterlife sorta deal where people just pop up and all family is found family. The abilities are Force, Awe, Guile and Speed, and characters can explicitly look however the player wants, so I was trying for ability names that don't imply a certain look.

I'm keeping it. The FAGS system. I love it.

[probablyevilrpgideas]

it's so nice to see the dropout team consistently condemn the creative use of generative ai. just thought i'd share this for fans who don't follow paul on insta!

[probablyevilrpgideas]

I love that RPG race trail rations post, and it got me thinking about non-Eurocentric fantasy trail rations. I focused on Central and South Asian cuisines (as I also needed the information for a project I’m working on). I looked for foods that were easy to carry (dry or dehydrated), easily obtainable in markets/easily foraged, easy to cook/not needing cooking at all, and high in protein/generally filling. Many foods had language-specific names and some overlapped into different regions, so I bare-bones’d the names. This is what I came up with: 

Dried curd comes in many forms – kashk, aaruul, quroot, etc. – and was of particular interest to me, since I learned it was used since (and before) medieval times as a trail ration for soldiers and travelers because it is lightweight and high in protein. The more you know. 🌈

Tempeh is one of my favorite food options, but I should note that it originates from Southeastern Asia, Indonesia in particular. 

Bamboo is extremely handy for use as both a carrying and cooking vessel, and would save a character the hassle of bringing a skillet with them (provided the character is in an area with large bamboo and a water source). It’s a method still used today because it’s extremely efficient. Storing eggs in rice is a good way to travel with them and keep them from cracking for a short time. 

These are just some basics and I’m only scratching the surface, so if anyone has foods to add from these regions (East and Southeast Asia, too!), or any non-European region honestly, don’t hesitate to add them! 

[probablyevilrpgideas]

Vimes: I hate the rich, and nobility are pretty much just scum

Vetinari: let me be real funny for a moment

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[probablyevilrpgideas]

elf liberalism probably goes insane

[probablyevilrpgideas]

Ars Magica would be way funnier if it was set in early to mid 1900s occult circles

"Historical" tabletop RPGs will be like "this game is based on rigorous historical research of medieval Western European society, and while it does have wizards, they're informed by authentic, period-accurate beliefs about how magic worked", and I'll be like "are the wizards really based on medieval Western European beliefs about magic, or is it a bunch of 1970s Neopagan 'ancient witch cult' stuff in a funny hat", and the game will be like "those are the same thing".

[probablyevilrpgideas]

[probablyevilrpgideas]

lol someone commissioned me to design a death counter for their dnd stuff.

i feel like this would be a particularly good candidate not for a print, but for a downloadable pay-what-you-like on the ko-fi

thoughts?

[probablyevilrpgideas]

The reason why God was so involved in human affairs a long time ago but then noped out after Jesus is because God is going through the same motions for every animal species: making a covenant, giving commandments, and sending down his own child to die in the form of that species. I know this because I felt an odd urge to swallow a mouse yesterday and, when I questioned it, I received a vision from God saying that He was on mice right now, and the mouse I was about to swallow was the mouse-equivalent of Jonah. Tomorrow I'm supposed to spit him out in a den of sinful mice so that he can squeak to word of God at them. I wish that little guy the best.