proshiphasfailed - Tumblr blog

[proshiphasfailed]

I will be deleting this blog today bc I have no space for it in my life and I’ve already wasted more of my life to discourse than I ever want to again. But as a parting note I do want to say please do speak up about your boundaries and comfort zones, and call out abuse when you see it. Stop thinking about things in terms of “pro” and “anti” and please just care about keeping people and animals safe.

[proshiphasfailed]

I have my stance because I have looked at your communities. You want to explain stuff like oddballs/offkey? Because that was a pro-para community. Many members that were on it are still active members in your community. I have an example on my blog of active grooming going on. I’m sure you people are just gaslighters because it takes 0 effort to find any of this stuff in your community. If your “safe space” is based on pedophiles grouping together and feeling comfortable and safe enough to talk about how sexy they think real children/animals are then your space is harmful, anti-recovery, and will result in victims. Argue with the wall, because you are only lying to yourself if you suggest otherwise and you care more about being “valid” than the safety of those vulnerable to predators.

Seeing an uptick in anti para in anti Radqueer spaces so I'm just gonna say this.

If you're anti para, don't interact with this blog.

Paraphilias are valid and deserve support. Yes, even the harmful ones.

Being a paraphile isn't inherently pro contact you cretins. (And it's not inherently proship/darkship either!)

It's ableist/sanist to not support paras, end of conversation. You can't just pretend it's okay to bash and silence people talking about their mental issues because of ableist/sanist stereotypes and your own discomfort.

The reason so many paraphiles like me are in the pro Radqueer community is because they tell them nobody else will support them, and you're just proving them right.

[proshiphasfailed]

Sanism =/= Ableism and even so not wanting people to sexualize kids and pets still isn’t sanism. That’s not discrimination, that is a baseline expectation of decent behavior.

Do you pay attention to the community you advocate for? They are practically anti-recovery and insist they are a sexuality like lgbt and that their urges should be acceptable. Not all claim the radqueer label but some do, even if they are anti-contact. Anti-contact also is meaningless because anti-contacts engage in the behavior I’ve described and think the only thing worthy of condemnation is if they commit molestation/rape but they can do anything they want short of that (to some that even means watching abuse content).

Seeing an uptick in anti para in anti Radqueer spaces so I'm just gonna say this.

If you're anti para, don't interact with this blog.

Paraphilias are valid and deserve support. Yes, even the harmful ones.

Being a paraphile isn't inherently pro contact you cretins. (And it's not inherently proship/darkship either!)

It's ableist/sanist to not support paras, end of conversation. You can't just pretend it's okay to bash and silence people talking about their mental issues because of ableist/sanist stereotypes and your own discomfort.

The reason so many paraphiles like me are in the pro Radqueer community is because they tell them nobody else will support them, and you're just proving them right.

[proshiphasfailed]

It’s not “ableist” to not support openly sexualizing real children and animals and downplaying abuse, actually it’s ableist to assume that has anything to do with being disabled. Paraphilia is not a disability. Not all mental disorders are considered a disability.

I support paraphiles being recognized as disordered and having access to mental help. That doesn’t mean I support normalizing attraction to non-consenting beings, nor do I have to.

Seeing an uptick in anti para in anti Radqueer spaces so I'm just gonna say this.

If you're anti para, don't interact with this blog.

Paraphilias are valid and deserve support. Yes, even the harmful ones.

Being a paraphile isn't inherently pro contact you cretins. (And it's not inherently proship/darkship either!)

It's ableist/sanist to not support paras, end of conversation. You can't just pretend it's okay to bash and silence people talking about their mental issues because of ableist/sanist stereotypes and your own discomfort.

The reason so many paraphiles like me are in the pro Radqueer community is because they tell them nobody else will support them, and you're just proving them right.

[proshiphasfailed]

You know I’m just realizing you’re 17. You shouldn’t be publicly interacting with propara or proship spaces imo. You are doing yourself harm. I know you won’t listen, but I’m going to tell you to get offline before you do more damage to you development anyways. It’s not too late for you. Be cautious and trust no one who tolerates your presence in these spaces if you insist on staying, because they are most likely predators.

Please stop interacting with my blog, I do not discuss serious topics with children.

Interesting how a 30k account releases a video full of abuse apologism and trying to normalize zoophilia in fandom yet the “pro-para doesn’t hurt anyone” crowd remains silent about it or even responds positively.

Almost like the entire point of pro-para is to create tolerance for abuse so you can get a slap on the wrist when you rape an animal or child.

[proshiphasfailed]

Proshippers are so afraid of the word “anti” that they will bite their lip while predators flood into their space and brainwash their friends. It’s ridiculous frankly.

i do love to see anti para proshippers rising up more

i was getting a little nervous that people would just let paras and radqueers take over the proship label. I was always aware that proshippers didn't like it, and I understand that it can be hard to go against a whole other group trying to take over but even just a little more push back helps

this isn't to say pro paras can't use the proship label, yall can, I'm just against yall forcing people to be comfortable with yall just because we all support fiction.

the old fandom rules are just barely hanging on by a thread and I feel it will completely die out if the proship label becomes synonymous with pro para/radqueer and it would be proving antis right

[proshiphasfailed]

based based based

yammy

20+

she/her

proshipper, anti harrassment, pro kink, anti para

side blog, can't follow back or send asks

reblogs welcomed and appreciated

not here to debate or argue, just to educate people on what the pro para movement/community is doing, on how kinks aren't inherently paraphilas/the distinction between kinks and paraphilas, and to encourage proshippers/others who have been silent out of fear of harrassment from pro paras to speak up and defend themselves and their community from paras invading and appropriating their spaces/tags/labels/etc

i understand that paraphilic attractions can be disordered attractions, but are not always disordered attractions

i do not believe people with inherently non-consensual paraphilas are doomed to become abusers or are inherently abusers

i do not hate people with inherently non-consensual paraphilas as long as they do not choose to act on their attractions, but i am uncomfortable around them regardless of whether they have acted on their attractions or not due to nature of their attractions and i know that my discomfort is both natural and acceptable

i believe that inherently non-consensual paraphilas should be destigmatized in the sense people can feel safe and confident when reaching out to professionals for help, i do not believe paraphilas should be normalized and become something to be causally discussed and talked about

i believe paraphiles using fictional characters to cope with their disordered attractions is healthy and i welcome that. i do not tolerate, let alone welcome, paraphilas who use real people, children, animals, etc to cope with their attractions, be it by grooming, molestating, or raping their being of desire, or by writing/drawing RPF of real people, children, animals, etc

will post infrequently in order to protect my mental health

will not tolerate harrassment towards anyone, anti/pro para, proshipper/antishipper, etc

will block pro paras unwilling to listen, hostile/rude/abusive antis, people with inherently non-consensual paraphilas, and trolls

please direct vents, questions, confessions, etc that are anti para related to the inbox

for simplicity and ease of creating and strengthen the anti para community, here is an emoji combo i made that you can stick in your tags, pinned post, bio, on flags, pfps, headers and where else you want to:

🚫👤🚫

🚫: not allowed/welcomed

👤: pro para

what i mean by being anti para:

i am anti;

the people who support and/ignore pedophiles, zoophiles, necrophiles and other people with inherently non-consensual paraphilas talking about REAL LIFE children, animals, corpses, etc in public spaces untagged and/or mistagged

the people who argue that fantasies about REAL LIFE children and animals is the same, let alone even remotely compatible to fantasies about cartoon characters (examples: liking lolisho or [insert anime protagonist] makes you a pedophile/liking furry characters makes you a zoophile, or that writing RPF of a child is the same as writing a fanfic involving a fictional character)

people who participate, encourage, or ignore pedophiles, zoophiles, necrophiles and other people with inherently non-consensual paraphilas mistagging posts about real children and/or animals with tags meant for fiction

people who argue that proship and/or pro kink must involve being pro para too, or else you're a hypocrite/[insert derogatory buzz word]

people who agrue that pedophiles, zoophiles, necrophiles and other people with inherently non-consensual paras should be allowed contact with, and/or should be allowed to rape the children, corpses, and/or animal they are attracted to by lying and saying that children and animals can consent, and/or saying that raping these children, corpses, and/or animals does not do harm

people who push the misinformation that all kinks are paraphilas because all paraphilas are kinks, when in reality most kinks are not paraphilas and all paraphilas are kinks. think squares and rectangles, squares can be rectangles but rectangles aren't always squares (in fact, most rectangles aren't squares)

people who take blame off pedophiles, zoophiles, necophiles and other people with inherently non-consensual paraphilas when they choose to act on those paras and rape a child, animal, corpse or adult and instead place blame on society and/or specific communities for not being comfortable around or not accepting those paraphiles

people who harrass, bully, shame and guilt trip others for not being comfortable and/or accepting of people with inherently non-consensual paraphilas

people who use paraphilas being a disorder to harrass, bully and guilt others into tolerating paraphiles, be it by making false accusations of ableism, infantilizing paraphiles, etc

people who conflate and/or compare having a paraphila to being schizophrenic, having BPD, or some other kind of stigmatized neurodivergency

people who conflate and/or compare paraphilia to sexualities and being lgbt, and/or people who appropriate lgbt language to describe paraphilas/paraphiles

[proshiphasfailed]

"when kinks come to life: an exploration of paraphilic behaviors and underlying predictors":

"Paraphilas: definition, diagnosis and treatment":

APA's Definition:

"CAMH on paraphilas":

"Psychiatric Times" (DSM-5 and Paraphilias: What Psychiatrists Need to Know):

"Teaching Paraphilias with the DSM 5: Learning The Distinction between Difference and Disorder":

—

summary of sources:

* paraphila: requires the paraphile to feel INTENSE AND PERSISTENT sexual attraction/desire/arousal

* disordered paraphilas: requires only ONE of the following: 1. distress OR 2. attraction/desire/arousal for a non-consensual partner

—

kink does not equal paraphilia because where paraphilia requires the paraphile to feel sexual attraction/desire/arousal around their paraphilia, a kink does not require the person with the kink to feel attraction/desire/arousal around their kink

pedophilia, zoophilia, necrophilia and other paraphilias involving non-consensual partners are always disordered regardles of whether the paraphile feels distress over their paraphilia or not

—

and to add on to kinks not equalling paraphilas:

a person with a kink who does not feel any sexual attraction/desire/arousal around their kink does not have a paraphila for whatever their kink is

example: someone who finds being tied up or spanked therapeutic and/or comforting, but is not sexually attracted/arousal by the thought or act of being tied up or spanked does not have a paraphila for being tied up or spanked, just a kink for being tied up or spanked.

a person with kink who does feel sexual attraction/desire/arousal around their kink, but that sexual attraction/desire/arousal is not intense AND persistent does not have a paraphila for whatever their kink is

example: someone who finds being tied up or spanked sexually attractive/desirable/arousing, but does not find it intensely and persistently sexually attractive/desirable/arousing does not have a paraphila for being tied up or spanked, just a kink for being tied up or spanked.

maybe they just find it intensely, but not persistently sexually attractive/desirable/arousing and only want to indulge in their kink occasionally

or maybe they just find it persistently sexually attractive/desirable/arousing but not intensely sexually attractive/desirable/arousing and while they like to indulge in it frequently/always they are not extremely sexually attracted to/desiring/being aroused by their kink

for a kink to also be a paraphila it must

1. be found sexually attractive/desirable/arousing by the person with the kink

2. cause intense and persistent sexual attraction/desirability/arousal when fantasizing and/or participating in that kink

if it lacks either of thoses, it's not a paraphila, just a kink

if kinks equaled paraphilas, they would always overlap and be mirrors/reflections of each other, there would be no exceptions

if this requires x, and that doesn't require x, then to simply put it, this ≠ that and kink ≠ para

—

(*note: desire = sexual desire)

[proshiphasfailed]

Why are you putting words in my mouth? As I’ve mentioned before my problem is not with having paraphilic disorder but the “pro-para” community which enables abuse. Why are you more interested in running PR for your group instead of expressing concern about big accounts platforming ideas like “animal rape isn’t that bad”?

The two are not linked. I was there when proship was coined. It was not made for you. Cry about it.

Interesting how a 30k account releases a video full of abuse apologism and trying to normalize zoophilia in fandom yet the “pro-para doesn’t hurt anyone” crowd remains silent about it or even responds positively.

Almost like the entire point of pro-para is to create tolerance for abuse so you can get a slap on the wrist when you rape an animal or child.

[proshiphasfailed]

Interesting how a 30k account releases a video full of abuse apologism and trying to normalize zoophilia in fandom yet the “pro-para doesn’t hurt anyone” crowd remains silent about it or even responds positively.

Almost like the entire point of pro-para is to create tolerance for abuse so you can get a slap on the wrist when you rape an animal or child.

[proshiphasfailed]

I'm a proshipper and i have reported ten different radqueers and paras (each) before i gave up because only one got taken down and they rest were left up with a bullshit "while we may or may not agree with the content of this users posts they are not breaking TOS and promoting or glorifying or normalize violence and crimes" from staff. i just block as i see them, and so the tags look clean to me, i just know their filthy abuser and abuse apologist asses are still there and it disgusts me to no end

staff is mostly to blame followed by these people launching harrassment campaigns when called out from what i've seen

It’s not just a tumblr problem it’s everywhere. Aethy is the only space I know of that takes a hard stance against pro-para/radqueers. And yes these groups have been left to grow long enough to have the ability to exert influence now, hence their infiltration of proship and convincing people that they’re not allowed to reject their inclusion.

[proshiphasfailed]

Fwiw I don’t think paraphiles aren’t allowed to engage with proship spaces (either through unrelated accounts or with those that don’t mind their presence).

I just want:

-there to be an understood distinction and separation of the ideologies

-accepting that many proshippers do not want them to interact and stop acting like someone having that boundary is silly or nonsensical

-stop pedo/zoojacketing proshippers and implying someone is a pedo/zoo over art.

-accept that proshippers are not betraying their values if they distrust and/or are against pro-para and that our allyship is not an obligation

-don’t bring paraphile discourse into proship conversations and create confusion between the two

[proshiphasfailed]

I will say, that as much as I’m all for paraphiles using fiction and such to not harm real people/animals, just about every pedo and zoo space that I’ve seen actively advocates for pro contact. I’ve mostly only been exposed to zoo spaces though compared to pedo ones.

With that being said

Just about every zoo I’ve come across has been avid for pro contact. Very few are anti contact. Saying that’s it’s not abuse and so on. It’s just so odd to me that they are animal rights activists (a lot of them donate a shit ton to charities and take better care of their pets that I take care of myself lol) but then they are all for sexually abusing animals at the same time. I don’t think it’s because they only want animals to be treated as equals to humans so they can justify sex (some absolutely think this way, but it really seems like a minority from my perspective at least). I honestly thinks it’s because they are extremely deluded by the cult they surround themselves with. It’s an echo chamber of “there’s nothing wrong with being in love”, “animals CAN consent”, and “they also want a sexual relationship with you”. Through various means, I’ve seen these conversations take place and it’s way too similar to a cult. It amazes me that so many proshippers will say that antis are a cult, but when fellow proshippers are actively part of a different cult, they turn a blind eye. Which is why I honestly see paraphile spaces to be extremely harmful imo for the individuals who are a part of these spaces. Sure, there’s the whole “justifying harm to others” thing that’s downright nasty too, but it’s just something I don’t see a ton of people talking about and I wanted to bring it up!

I don’t think people with paraphilias shouldn’t have a space whatsoever, because there are absolutely places that advocate for not acting on those feelings and thoughts and only using fiction as a means to not act on those things. I just think that there’s nuance with what groups people are using as a place for their paraphilias. And things can turn sour quick if people aren’t careful. Because most para spaces I’ve come across are pro contact and disgusting

Sorry for rambling lmao just can’t really talk much about it on my blog

Anti-contact zoos are definitely the minority. And however anti-abuse they want to call themselves they are not the main ones fighting against those that abuse animals. The amount of people proud of raping their pets makes me sick and feel so helpless about not having the power to stop it.

Zoophiles are not animal rights activists. They are just trying to manipulate, obfuscate, and justify their objectification and sexual exploitation of animals. Their victims are always domesticated animals. They’re so convinced that their pets, bred for thousands of years to trust them and be dependent on them, have agency yet won’t try to form a “consensual relationship” with any wild animals like a wolf. I wonder why? Could it be because naturally an animal would have no interest in you and/or physically harm you? Could your “relationship” with your pet be nothing but your delusional anthropomorphication of your horrific exploitation? Makes you think.

There are also different flavors of “anti-contact” zoos. The lines are fuzzy, some think it’s ok to take sexually enticing photos of their pets. You really don’t know where someone’s lines are just because they’re anti-c.

I understand the frustration, it’s why I made this blog. If it can just be a place for people to vent about the awful things they’ve witnessed that’s fine.

Anti-c’s have to do better if they want to be taken seriously as anti-abuse. They casually share content made by pro-c’s all the time. And that so many of them tolerate pro-c at the very least makes it seem unshakable. You are one person removed from a pro-c at all times.

Anti-c’s also share symbols with offending zoophiles and don’t seem to have an issue with that.

[proshiphasfailed]

I feel like the proship ""community"" (isn't it an ideology?) straight up isn't able to go up to a pro-contact or a radqueer or a "irl loli" and force them out of our tags, people will inevitably put their bullshit in any tags they want. It's not so much a failure on anyone's part and more that bad people will always hide inside whatever tags they want, I feel. Hell actually if anything it's a failure of tumblr and twitter's report systems.

I would agree with you if not for prominent discourse accounts tolerating if not identifying with pro-para, defending things like rpf of minors (these types are always pro-para), and intentionally ignoring problematic members of that community that are also proship and speaking for proshippers. They have defended some awful people too but I’m not going to dig up old drama.

[proshiphasfailed]

Because your community does not regulate itself and tolerates pro-c’s as a “discourse opinion” and there is grooming and abuse running rampant. See my other posts.

I don’t think the condition makes you bad, but your entitlement makes you bad. It is normal to feel disgust and revulsion about sexual abuse. Your attraction is inherently linked to real life sexual abuse. You do not care about boundaries when you complain that people are uncomfortable with you wearing “I don’t think you should judge me when I tell you I think about raping children and animals” on your sleeve.

It’s not “your space”. Proship was about not sending people hate over ships. People that care about freedom in fanworks are not obligated to care about paraphile discourse or to welcome it in their space. It’s a space about cartoon and anime ships, it is not appropriate. Many people find pro-para subjects uncomfortable or triggering and you are insensitive to that.

You have your own space, why force an association? Neither need the other and propara is harmful to proship.

I don’t think being a paraphile makes you a bad person. I believe the online paraphile community is toxic and enables abuse. I believe, for the vast majority of people, enjoying dark/taboo fiction has nothing to do with coping with an immoral irl attraction thus these associations do nothing but harm proship ideas of fantasy =/= reality and cartoons/drawings not being equivalents to real-life counterparts. The paraphile community attempts to assimilate the proship community for their own gain and offers nothing of value other than to add credence to the idea that the primary audience of taboo fiction are those that fantasize about real life harm.

Paraphiles can have their own space, we don’t owe them ours. Proship has always been and should remain about the freedom to play with fictional dolls. To ship and let ship and let artists create fanworks without fear of harassment. We don’t need paraphile discourse, it is a completely separate can of worms with its own problems.

[proshiphasfailed]

Honestly as someone who used to consider themself "pro-para" I just wanted to share my thoughts? No need to share if you don't want to though.

On a surface level, I get why some want the groups to be connected. As a proshipper, I think people have the right to read and write what they want. If someone is reading/writing something because of a paraphilia, I don't really mind that. You can't exactly read someone's mind as for why they choose to enjoy something.

The issue is that pro-para spaces DO enable abuse and abusers. There are pro-para people who are anti-contact, but, unfortunately, WAY too many people in the community are either pro-contact (for paraphilias that cannot be acted on consensually) or at least okay with pro-cs. Minors are often accepted into the community. I don't know if I'd call it "grooming" exactly because I don't like to misuse that term, but it's certainly taking in minors that are vulnerable (often ones who have experienced trauma and may or may not actually have a paraphilia in the first place) and letting them talk about sexual things and trauma with online adults. That's not safe.

In theory, yes, I don't think someone is defined by their thoughts as long as they don't act on them, but, if nothing else, it gives proshippers a bad name to be tied to a community that has such genuine problems. Many people are already under the mistaken assumption that "proshipper" equals "pedophile" and it ultimately gets kind of hard to refute that when actual pedophiles are insisting that being a pedo and being pro-ship do go hand in hand.

The issue with minors is really bad, there is a lot of overlap with SH/ED spaces and I would say at least 30% of the people in the community are minors. And many paraphiles defend this because “kids can be paraphiles too”, if that is the case is the answer to that an unregulated, sexually charged, community full of people eager to exploit them? What are they doing to protect the minors in their community? Because it seems like they just roll their eyes and go “well I wanted to fuck dogs when I was 10 so I don’t see the problem.”

I am a survivor of grooming from predators on the internet as a child as are a lot of the minors in this space. I was able to get away from abusers and recognize the ideas they were putting into my head were wrong, and not end up as a “big 3” paraphile. I recognize that that won’t be the case for everyone who goes through that unfortunately, but I think going directly from being abused into a space where the ideas you got from the confusion of your abuse are encouraged is not giving someone the chance to have a recovery remotely close to that. The child can unpack their feelings when theyre older, they don’t need to be told what happened to them was sexy.

[proshiphasfailed]

I have decided I have too much of a life for this someone will have to carry on my work (but i won’t delete just yet)