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Selected Correspondence of Fire Lord Zuko

As preserved by the Royal Archives

1.

My good hotman Zuko,

It's Aang! Sokka let me borrow Hawky. Please feed him before sending him back.

I'm writing to ask if it's okay for me to drop by. Except I'll probably be there by the time you get this, because Appa flies faster than Hawky. Still, it's polite to ask!

Write back (or don't.)

Hot regards

Your friend Aang

-

Revered Avatar Aang

Hawky arrived two hours after you left. Never send me "hot regards" again. Like I keep telling you, language has changed in the past 100 years. It doesn't mean what you think. Future historians will think we were having an affair.

It's always okay to drop by. Hawky has been fed.

May your inner fire warm you (write that down somewhere)

Fire Lord Zuko

2.

Hi

need 3 fire benders (zappy) + few construction workers + a lot of copper

Delivr to harbor

sokka

-

Honorable tribesman Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, son of Chief Hakoda, Hero of the 100 Year War

No.

May your inner fire warm you

Fire Lord Zuko

-

Dear Jerk Lord of the Jerk Nation, Master Jerkbender and All-Around Jerk

quit being stingy and send me what i need. seriously. the fate of your nation is at stake. LOOK:

[drawing of two pickles, a stick figure and waves]

Hot regards

Sokka

-

Sokka

Your drawing makes no sense. I'm writing a law which bans you from owning a messenger hawk.

I found you three volunteer firebenders who can lightningbend. They'll be there in a week with four carts of copper. If you need construction workers, beg Toph, don't bother me.

Feed Hawky better. He's malnourished, he keeps begging me for more food.

And don't do that.

Fire Lord Zuko

3.

Dear Honorless Usurper

My, how the time flies. It seems as if it was only yesterday that I was supposed to be crowned Fire Lord, and here we are, celebrating the first full year of your doomed reign. I salute you.

Know this: you won't know peace for long. I have entered into an alliance with Admiral Noboru. He is a true patriot and has kindly offered me three ships and 2000 men to retake the throne. He has also generously offered to serve as my consort, "despite my mental deficiency."

I am writing as a courtesy, as it is obvious that the throne will soon be mine. I might even let you live.

May Agni's light shine on you*

Azula

Fire Lord-in-exile

[* common benediction for the dead during Fire Lord Zuko's reign]

-

Dear Sister

Thank you for writing. I spoke with Noboru. I told him that I was allowing an Agni Kai and that you were on your way.

Noboru has fled the country. He gifted you his whole estate, see the enclosed list. He said to tell you he's sorry and not to come after him.

Please come visit any time. I hope your healing is going well.

May your inner fire warm you

Your brother Zuko

[enclosed: A list of assets including a home in the 5th Province, a vacation home on Ember Island, 20 acres of farmland, a substantial amount of gold and silver and assorted property]

4.

Zuko

this is the worst copper i've ever seen??? i want a refund. you're the worst copper merchant ever.

sokka

-

Sokka

You didn't even pay for the copper. I'm not giving you a refund. And I'm not a copper merchant. I didn't even buy it, somebody else did. What's wrong with it?

I can send you more if you need?

Fire Lord Zuko

-

Sokka

I sent you two more carts of copper. This is the best copper we have, so if it's not good enough, you can get your own and stop mooching off of me.

Fire Lord Zuko

5.

[on a thin sheet of metal]

Sparky! Earth Rumble 8 is two weeks from now. I'm coming to pick you up in the morning two days before.

Check it out: I can write now. Katara helped me with the characters but I've got it now. Hawky isn't strong enough to carry these, but Katara's dad is letting me borrow Seabreeze.

It's TOPH.

-

Dear Lady Beifong

You can't just come pick me up! I'm the Fire Lord. Two weeks isn't enough time for me to arrange days off.

I'd like to come watch you knock some heads, but I can't. Sorry.

Feed Seabreeze. Seriously. What's wrong with you people? Every bird you send me is starving.

May your inner fire warm you

Fire Lord Zuko

-

[on a thin sheet of metal]

Sparky. Thanks for sending me a sheet of paper but my privy is stocked. I can guess what it says though: "I can't go I'm so busy and I'm too much of a wimp to clear my schedule"

I'm coming to pick you up. Tell your guards they can either get out of my way or get CRUSHED. It's gonna be fun.

It's TOPH.

-

A painting of Fire Lord Zuko, Lady Beifong, Master Katara, Avatar Aang, Suki of Kyoshi Island and Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe. Lady Beifong is sitting on the Fire Lord's shoulders, holding up a decorative belt and smiling widely.

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i just know Jason must have been having Ra’s STRESSED in the league. his daughter dips a Wayne kid in the Lazarus pit and then trains him to the point where he becomes worthy of the fucking all-blades, and then he just is??? chilling in Nanda Parbat for a while??? wandering Ra’s base and loudly planning his scheme to manipulate his adoptive father into killing some circus clown???? there’s no way that Jason didn’t have Ra’s blood pressure through the roof. in british terms, Ra’s was Prince Philip and Jason had a bottle of sprite.

Ra’s: what do you WANT, Jason?

Jason, having just burst into Ra’s chambers holding a plate of toast: THERE you are, finally. i just needed to be in your presence to do this

Jason: *summons the all-blades*

Ra’s: WH-

Jason: cool it; not gonna stab you. just needed pure evil around so i can butter my toast.

Ra’s:

Ra’s, subtly cancelling the four bodyguards he’d just summoned: …mhm.

Jason, mouth full: anyway, you’re old,

Ra’s: …

Jason: been around a while, huh? what’s the most annoying torture you’ve ever seen or experienced?

Jason: because there’s that new Robin i need to make regret taking my place, and i’m trying to be creative about it. so? most annoying torture?

Ra’s: i have a feeling your intrusion on his life will do just fine.

Jason: aw, so supportive. thanks evil-grandpa.

Ra’s: get out of my room.

Jason: gEt OuT oF My RoOm- hey do we have any spare dynamite? i wanna put a bomb on my helmet

Ra’s: *groaning loudly*

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Scrunchie time.

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so I’m filling out pediatrician intake forms for my newborn son and I get to the demographic section and I was already chuckling about putting a marital status…

yes hello my 3 day old son responds to only Old English, thank you

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I’m sure someones already said this but I often see Tumblr described as a hellsite. This is fundamentally incorrect.

Tumblr is the faesite. Everybody is super confused and lost, you keep running into random places. Somehow you end up stuck there forever after interacting a couple of times. The people are all strange, everybody simultaneously seems to be from the future and the past as if time is meaningless.

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people need to realise that a poor little meow meow must be a character who has committed atrocities you cannot poor little meow meow a good guy that’s not how this works

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Watching the mummy 1999 for shits and giggles, thought it'd be fun to bitch abt the inaccurate hieroglyphs now that I know smth abt all that. Disappointed and disgusted to find out that they hired an egyptologist consultant and the hieroglyphs are actually well done. Night ruined

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kill the imposter syndrome in your head because not only is there someone out there doing it worse than you, they’re also using chat gpt to do it

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that one malcolm in the middle cold open where they’re getting family photos taken and lois has to yell ‘wheres dewey? dewey! get back here, that’s not your family!’ because when she turns around she sees dewey has just walked into another family’s shot and started posing with these random strangers, but its janet and jack drake at a family photoshoot taking their eyes off their 8yr old son for one second and tim instantly abandoning them to stand within the grouped wayne kids for family photos while jason and dick just kinda eye him weirdly and let it happen because why the fuck not

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159

a

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i was supposed to go to bed an hour ago dont tell my mom

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the unholy trinity of piss-poor caretakers, tag yourself:

tomboy, meaning "this child is clearly queer but let's hope it goes away"

sensitive, meaning "clearly neurodivergent and often distressed but let's keep going until they grow numb"

mature, meaning "traumatized but let's ignore that"

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May the 4th be with You: A Poem for Star Wars Day

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happy uh belated death day, jason

from batman annual #25

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The joy of running through a field on a summer day laughing with your friends about nothing in particular

@everytimeanewfandom @percypeetapotterfan @pjo-obsessed-nerd @percabethownsmybutt @onthishamsterwheel @autistichalfblood @aconstantstateofbladerunner @direwolfspostsrandomshit @jediwizard @lokiironmanspiderman @beholdthemuffin @nerdychristianfanboy

my first tag game!

what does ur moot who mentioned you on this post remind you of?

tags: no pressure!

@binibby @7975348473 @hopeless-umii @balladofareader @talahsaudiobooklibrary @lyrakanefanatic @sheisntyouspam @lila-77 @elysianwayy77 @shattermelyhfmlblog @prettylikethestars @foreverwinter22 @musiwashere @liaisbroke @whoo0sh @sweetreveriee @acad3miawhore @jjsblueberry @thesingerinthewoods @thecircularlibrary @shattered-glass-roses @anintellectualintellectual @welcome-to-chiles @bookworm-fangirl1 @book-nerd-emi @sarastellasari @lunarlee101 @mxst3rmind @gigigraysonenthusiast @21sbaby @tig-bun @lovethornes @xoxoavry @caramelmiacchiato @haeerizm @lovely-dragon-of-mine @where-is-the-angst @beautifulmusicengineer @we-were-born-to-be-free @laufeysgoddess @kiraandhervibes @shefollowedthestars @reminiscentreader @wish-i-were-heather.

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Not now kitten daddy's googling his symptoms

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I think it'd be funny if Damian kept up his formal speech patterns for the sole purpose of appearance. Originally, he would've learned to speak that way in the League, but I feel like Jason's informality and unseriousness would rub off on him eventually.

Alfred is gone for the week and Bruce is cooking for the bats

Bruce: "Alright guys, it's a little burnt, but it still might be good."

Tim, squinting his eyes at the plate: "B, it looks radioactive.."

Damian: "Father, I will not be consuming this horrible dish. It seems itself to be inedible, and I will not be poisoned by your lack of skill in the food department."

Later

Damian, on the phone with Jason: "It looked like shit! He served us all mystery meat, Todd. Bring me some decent food right now or I'm killing myself."

Jason: "Jeez, kid, take a chill pill or something. I'm on my way."

Damian: "There is no pill chill enough for me to take, Todd! I can't keep starving myself whenever Dad is put in charge. He's going to kill us all on accident!"