pvckerstud-blog

[pvckerstud-blog]

withloverpg incorrect quotes + community

[pvckerstud-blog]

withloverpg incorrect quotes + pyder 

inspired by @marleyeverdeen

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Noah Centineo in Swiped (2018)

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ohsoplainjane‌:

I love living with my dad, but there are times when I don’t know how I could survive without being around my mother. The Hayward House rules still apply and she certainly hovers a bit more than my dad but nothing beats spending quality woman time together. I think it’s safe to say I’m already loving Summer vacation. That being said, she’s busier with her work than I expected so now I’m kind of just spending my free time waiting for her to have free time. Anyway, if anyone has any plans, I’d love to hear about them.

Tell your mom that I’m down to spend some quality “woman time” with her too.

You coming to the beach? It’s gonna be a rad time, you know. If you don’t come, you’re gonna be publicly shamed.

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tojakewithlove‌:

Don’t get me wrong, ice cream is awesome. And working at a place where I get to eat nothing but ice cream all day is awesome, too. The only thing that sucks is having to sing these garbage jingles every time someone orders more than a single scoop. Seriously, it’s embarrassing. Don’t even get me started on when someone orders nuts or sprinkles.

Now that is worth coming into that place for. It’s hard to get motivated to go sit in a room with a bunch of church moms and their 10 children, but to see you sing jingles? That’s worth a $6.00 ice cream.

Sing me a nut song, Jake.

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TEXT ✉️ PLAINE

BLAINE: Thought about it. Until you all lost Regionals.

BLAINE: It's high school, not jail, Puck. But I appreciate the sentiments of loyalty. I'm not one to partake usually but perhaps I'll take you up on the offer sometime soon. Could be a good way to relax. Especially if we do it up at The Ridge beneath the stars.

BLAINE: How cliche. If you tried to toss me in a dumpster you'd get your teeth knocked out, man. We've boxed together. You've seen my form. Did I really come off as an annoying weirdo before you got to know me? I didn't realize that was the energy I put out into the universe.

BLAINE: That's quite the fantasy. I mean, I've given some thought to going out for the Cheerios but I doubt Sue would have me in a skirt. The pants hug in all the right places if that's any consolation.

BLAINE: Who keeps their eyes open during a kiss?

PUCK: no offense man but u ain't exactly winnin right now either, ya feel

PUCK: Ya, i know. i dont think u'd make it in jail, pretty boy. u actually gonna smoke w/ me some day? i'll make sure to write the date down

PUCK [UNSENT]: sounds like a date to me

PUCK: trust me, i know. i thot it was pretty cool 2 find out u box tho. explains why u got that butt. that ain't a lacrosse booty. but yea, u did come off as some loud mouthed theatre kid like berry n hummel, but... ur pretty cool now as the party guy who can hold his weight in vodka and breaks the rules sometimes. a LOT cooler thn berry or hummel

PUCK: well i'd keep my streak of foolin round with every cheerio so far. cept hummel. not gonna happen.

PUCK: ppl who wanna see what u look like

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TEXT ✉️ JACKMAN

BREE: I'm free, pls have enough petrol in your car this time even though I love using my seduction powers to get free stuff.

BREE: we have loads of time for nudity, we've got a long summer.

BREE: nope but you can /feel through/, if you ask nicely.

PUCK: i live on the edge. if im gonna run outta gas, i'll run outta gas and show off these guns by pushin us to the nearest gas station

PUCK: i'm gonna graduate next yr. then wat? who will u get to mess around w/ u on the regs?

PUCK: that sounds like a damn good deal. dont gotta buy u nothin huh?

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bestbreexo‌:

Hope you know you’re in for a very boring time if your partner isn’t me.

By the way, gonna stress the ‘friends’ part of our ‘friends with benefits’ and say I got you a nice card and some chocolate for you know, the whole being a daddy thing. 

We both know that’s a bad idea, Jackson.

You...did? Why?

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TEXT ✉️ PLAINE

BLAINE: I know, but it makes more sense to play unbothered in order to save face. Right? I have to appear unshaken otherwise I will have truly lost every ounce of status I worked so hard to gain.

BLAINE: Interesting how you actually subscribe to the "snitches get stitches" philosophy. You see a lot of backstabbing to get ahead in the circle my family runs in. Colleagues will rat each other out if it means one gets a promotion over the other.

BLAINE: Did you ever think we'd end up here? Being friends and stuff?

BLAINE: We definitely rock n roll. Don't you think? Never get rid of the nipple ring btw. Super fun to play with.

BLAINE: You must have night vision considering we made out in a closet.

PUCK: I guess man. or you could just take a shot and say fuck em all. pretty much where I’m at. since that day I got slushied 4 joining glee club, I’ve been rethinking this whole “gotta be popular thing”. People r dickheads. u ever think about joining?

PUCK: im not ready to get shanked or sumthin coz I didn’t keep my mouth shut. besides, u were pretty cool about not telling ny1 I was stealing pot from brett’s Locker anyway. i still have some if u wanna share. he gets that expensive shit.

PUCK: no. thought I probably would have thrown you in a dumpster or something by now tbh. but after that dinner party thing, I realized u weren’t really that annoying ass weirdo president guy u pretend 2 be.

[...]

PUCK: glad we’re like...good tho. I like talkin 2 u. N chillin w u.

PUCK: people seem 2 dig it. i think it looks pretty badass. glad u like it 2 tho. U ever thought about wearing a skirt? much easier to grope through than chinos

PUCK: there was light coming under the door asshole. not my fault u kept your eyes closed

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THE GOOD PLACE MEME › [4/7 characters] Jason Mendoza. ↳ “I’m just a dope who died in a safe with a snorkel… who’s only now realizing why that didn’t work!”

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TEXT ✉️ PLAINE

BLAINE: I'm no better than either of them by talking to you like that just because I'm feeling mopey. I have to deal with the consequences of my actions in healthier ways than lashing out at one of the few people who has had my back through all of this.

BLAINE: You weren't going to rat me out and then Rachel caught both of us that night. You were going to keep my secret. Why?

BLAINE: Don't be stupid. Nothing about whatever the heck we're doing is one-sided, Puck. Besides, if anyone should be nervous about this changing on a dime it's me.

BLAINE: What makes you so sure I like the tugging?

PUCK: ok I mean cool, like thnx n shit, but like, it’s not that serious man. we all go through some shit sumtimes. u deserve to be pissed 2. you can’t be happy all the time. ur still cool. u got my back n I got urs

PUCK: bc I ain’t no snitch.

[PAUSE]

PUCK: n I like u I guess. idk.

PUCK: just bc u like my nipple ring don’t mean u gotta look 4word 2 seeing me anderson. ive had enuff hookups to kno it don’t always rock n roll

PUCK: bc I saw ur face when I did it at ur party. can’t trick my radar

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SELF-PARA // BONES

WHO: Puck, Grams, Pistachio (the cat) WHEN: Saturday, May 25th, 2019 WHERE: Puck’s place NOTES/WARNINGS: I mean......the usual Noah Puckerman angst. Pretty dialogue heavy, be warned. MENTIONS: @bowtiedblaine, @halfsuperman, @snixual, @rxderslynn, mama puckerman + sarah puckerman

This has been the first day in what seems like weeks that Lima frickin’ Ohio hasn’t had any rain. Puck spent the whole day catching up on cleaning pools, and there is something satisfying about being so sore and exhausted from physical exercise when he’s been as frustrated as he has been for the last month or two. Lonely, his brain supplies unhelpfully. 

After grabbing the mail from a half-broken box outside of his house, Puck is met with a now-common meow from a scruffy-looking Pistachio. His sister is lucky he’s actually got a soft spot for the stupid all-black cat, or the damn thing would starve to death on her watch. Her ideal house pet should have been a rock, for all that she’s home these days.

Sarah and his mom are off with his mom’s newest beau, again. His fancy, overly expensive lake house cabin. With a roll of his eyes, he lets the cat inside, and the furball darts straight for his water dish, without so much as a thank you.

Puck throws his bag near the front door and kicks off his beat up sneakers, landing with a thump somewhere in the darkness. 

The voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like Sarah tells him that it’s Saturday and it’s been a few since he called his grandma. With school ending, he’s been too busy and too self-focused to have a chat with her. They’re never short and they always end with him being scolded. 

But there’s something comforting about the routine of it all, he thinks as his fingers automatically dial the keys he’s had memorized since he was a kid.

It rings a few times, and Puck’s sure she’s probably gone to bed already, and he’s just going to leave her a message when there’s a shuffling and a heavy sigh into the receiver. 

“Avi,” she starts, and there’s some more of that lovely deafening shuffling he’s grown accustomed to during these phone calls. “I see you finally decide to pay your grandmother some time, Tipesh.” She hums under her breath, finally settled in what he presumes to be her usual rocking chair. “You must have a good excuse?”

Puck laughs, plopping down onto his worn out couch. “Good to hear from you too, Grams. Just wanted to check up on you.”

“I could have been dead, you know. For how long you all leave me to my things. I raised you, Avi. I should worry you sick in my old age.”

“You’re 67, grandma. Not like you’re knocking on death’s door or nothin’.”

“I will beat your large head, yeled. Your mother doesn’t discipline you.” 

This woman brings a warmth to his chest that he doesn’t find in anyone else. He truly loves her. “Yeah, yeah. Just wait till I’m the one taking care of you and you can’t walk on your own, let alone try to beat me.” He can feel her frown through the phone.

“Respect your elders, Avi. Where is that mother of yours? She doesn’t call.”

“She’s with her new boyfriend. Sarah too.”

His grandmother is quiet for a long moment, “...Ah. Is this one good to you and your sister?”

Puck’s laugh is probably too bitter to be disguised from a woman who knows him so well, but he can’t stop himself before he says, “Well, he took her and Sarah to his fancy lake house for the holiday and left behind her delinquent son, so, yeah, probably better than the last.”

“Mm. Your mother is smart. She will marry a man with means, this time. Your father was an idiot. She was a fool to be with him, Avi.”

“Yeah, I know, Grams--”

“When will you change that name of yours? She was also a fool for naming you after him. What a trick, he played on her.”

“You used to like my name, you know.”

“That was before he up and left. Must run in the family, yes? Your grandfather was garbage too. You are not like them. You have stayed with your mother, no matter her bad decisions.”

“Well aren’t you just sweet.”

“Avi sounds much better, anyways.”

“You never call me Noah, it’s always Avi, so what does it matter if it’s legally changed?”

“That will be on your diploma, you know--” she talks over him like it doesn’t matter, and she’s pretty damn good at ignoring his protests.

“If I graduate.”

“You will, or I will beat your--”

“My head, I know. Can you even reach that high?”

“I will find a stool just to beat you with.”

There’s a moment where all he can do is laugh. She brings him such a stupid joy that reminds him of being a kid again. “Can I come stay with you tomorrow? They’ll be gone until Tuesday,” Puck finally says once he’s caught his breath.

“Of course. I haven’t made your room into my knitting studio yet.” She always says she will, but Puck knows it’s an empty threat. “Are you bringing that big friend of yours? The one with the dimples?”

The pang of hurt surprises him, and he’s quiet for too long because she’s repeating his middle name into the phone before he gets out a quiet, “No, Grams. Just me.”

“You should bring him. You know I like him very much. He always eats whatever I put in front of him.”

Puck rips off the bandaid just to get her to shut up about it-- “We’re not friends anymore.”

And then it’s his turn to sit in silence. He lets her stew in it though. Because she knows they’ve been friends since kindergarten, and that he always brings Finn with him to her place. And maybe that’s why he’s been avoiding her for a while now because he can’t stand how empty things are without him--

“That is a shame. Men are fools, Avi. You are a sweet boy, even when you are foolish. You will come together again.”

And like that, a weight is off of his shoulders, because wow, he finally told someone he’s hurting and he didn’t even have to say it out loud. “Thanks, Grams. Appreciate it.”

“Bring that cat of yours. There is a stray around my porch and I want them to have kittens.” And the subject is changed. No more Finn, no more thinking about the fact that he doesn’t even have Ryder thanks to Tina, and he’s so fucking lonely. Blaine’s the only person who even checks to see if he hasn’t drank himself into some stupor the evening before, and his mom always says she’ll call when she’s out of town and conveniently ‘forgets’ the moment she walks out of the door. Even his dad has sent him a ‘Happy Sweet 16th Birthday’ card, two years too late, with the short message of ‘To Noah Puckerman Jr; Happy birthday. Better late than never. Dad’ and a PS asking for 10 bucks and a lotto ticket when Puck gets the chance.

“Chio doesn’t like cars, Grandma. He’ll freak if I try and put him in the truck.”

“Then walk. That cat cannot control you, Tipesh.” 

Puck rolls his eyes, but concedes. His grandma’s rundown house isn’t too far from his own; just a mile or two, down dirty streets filled with old mattresses and littered with Coke cans and cigarette butts. 

He remembers walking down those same roads with Finn. And Santana, when they were closer. He feels like he’s been distancing himself from people, lately. The fact that it’s his senior year and he’s gonna have to pretend to be an adult soon has him on edge, and he’s afraid if he stays close with a single person, he’s gonna combust with all this anxiety he’s never had to worry about before. 

They talk a while longer before a silence overcomes them, and ever the conversationalist, his grandma is the one to break it, “You are a good boy, Avi. You have been dealt a hand that many would buckle under the weight of. Do not let others tell you what your cards should be. Whatever that means for you.”

Puck rubs at his eyes when the burning sensation gets to be too much, and he says, “Yeah, Grams. Thanks,” and he knows that she knows that he’s crying. He’s never seen her cry a day in her life before. “I will be over tomorrow after work, okay?”

“Yes, ben. I will see you tomorrow.”

And for a second he wants to tell her that he’s given up tobacco. That the ‘cancer sticks’ she’s always yelling about are finally gone, thanks to the all-consuming Blaine Anderson who’s slowly taking over his life, but then he knows she will ask about the ‘rat poison’ he drinks to get himself to sleep every night, and it’s not worth all of the trouble for some recognition. 

“I love you, Avi.”

“I love you too, Grams.”

A soft ‘click’ ends the call, and Puck is left sitting in silence, a small black cat curled onto his flat front shorts, in the darkness of his creaky, old, empty house. 

Puck throws his arms behind his head and breaths a long, heavy sigh. There’s a bottle of Tito’s waiting for him in the kitchen, and he hates that it’s become his bedtime routine.

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TEXT ✉️ JACKMAN

BREE: when is it again ? I gotta check my schedule but I deffo want to.

BREE: idk, what's a beach trip without you removing your shirt and flexing?

BREE: I got a new bikini and everything.

PUCK: 6/01 baby. you could always cruise in my car if u need a ride.

PUCK: not a fuckin good 1, i think. should have splurged 4 one of them n00d beaches

PUCK: is it see through?

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TEXT ✉️ JACKMAN

PUCK: yo, ur comin 2 outer banks, rite?

PUCK: wats a beach trip if i can't see you 90% naked?

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bigdkarofsky‌:

….No. I’m not into that.

You had me at the skinny dip. I mean none of us really care about him. We all call him The Dick behind his back. He’s still a legend though. I guess that’s cool. Didn’t know our ex-president was giving you English lessons in his spare time. I guess he probably has a lot of it now.

How would you know? You ain’t tried it. Dude, I’m gonna expose you to some nice shit. When you free?

What exactly makes him a legend? That pornstache or the chewing tobacco? C’mon man, he ain’t that bad. He’s a pretty chill dude when you get passed all the big ass words and theatre talk. Gotta be better than the douchebags you’re always walkin’ around with.