pyredez

[pyredez]

no offence but you can't expect me to be funny AND mentally stable

[pyredez]

               HE   DIDN’T   LIKE   THE   FACT   OF   NOT   STEERING   THE   SHIP.   IT   was   one   of   the   few   things   he   felt   useful   over.   However,   his   arm   muscles   hurt   from   keeping   them   in   a   certain   position   for   such   a   long   period   of   time   without   rest.   Deep   down   Leo   knew   that   taking   a   break   was   the   smart   thing   to   do.   If   he   was   far   too   tied   he   could   make   a   mistake,   and   he   didn’t   want   to   make   another   mistake.   

               LEO   SAT   QUIETLY   AFTER   HE   SPOKE   HIS   MIND.   CHOCOLATE   EYES   looked   out   into   the   distance   as   a   small   breeze   rolled   over   them.   He   relished   the   coolness   it   offered   his   warm   skin.   Leo   had   to   admit   that   it   was   nice   to   take   a   break.   He   didn’t   realize   how   exhausted   he   was—   his   body   and   mind.   

               THE   SON   OF   HEPHAESTUS   LISTENED   TO   HIS   FRIEND.   HE   WAS   right.   Fate   knew   what   they   were   doing,   but   it   still   didn’t   help   him   to   think   about   the   ‘what   if’.   What   if   he   wasn’t   born   a   child   of   Hephaestus?   What   if   he   didn’t   have   these   abilities   that   many   see   as   a   curse?   Would   his   life   be   better?   Would   he   not   have   turned   out   to   be   such   an   outcast?   A   loser?   What   is   this?   A   pity   party?   He   really   needed   to   stop   with   those.   Leo   knew   it   hindered   his   growth   as   a   person.   Yet   knowing   it   didn’t   make   it   any   easier   to   act   on   it.   

               HIS   CHEST   TIGHTENED,   EYES   BURNED   WITH   A   THREAT   OF   TEARS   if   he   wasn’t   careful.   He   didn’t   want   to   cry.   Not   now.   Not   in   front   of   Jason.   His   words   were   kind   enough,   and   it   made   him   feel   at   ease,   but   that   ‘what   if’   kept   coming   back   to   eat   at   his   conscience.   He   almost   wished   it   could   be   true—   a   normal   life,   “   I   don’t   want   my   best   friends   taken   away   from   me   either.   I   just…   I—   ”   he   cut   himself   short.   This   wasn’t   the   time   to   get   emotional   like   this.   He   was   the   cool   guy,   the   annoying   one,   the   one   who   made   everyone   smile   with   a   roll   of   their   eyes.   

               LEO’S   GAZE   KEPT   TO   THE   DISTANCE   AROUND   THEM,   NOT   FEELING   too   brave   to   face   Jason,   “   I   don’t   think   you   would   be   a   jerk.   I   can’t   see   it…   maybe   not   a   jerk   on   purpose,   ”   he   admitted   with   a   faint   trace   of   a   smile,   “   I   would   be   by   my   mom’s   side.   Probably   would   have   made   our   own   mechanic   shop.   ”   @volansvir xx

[pyredez]

               LEO   KNEW   THAT   WHAT   HE   HAD   DONE   TO   PERCY   was   no   better   to   what   people   had   done   to   him.   Then   again,   wasn’t   it   human   nature   to   have   a   fixed   thought   of   someone   by   appearance   alone?   It   was,   wasn’t   it?   It   was   never   right,   of   course,   but   people   couldn’t   help   it.   Judgement   was   in   everyone.   It   just   mattered   if   someone   would   be   cruel   enough   to   voice   it   in   such   a   way   that   would   bring   someone   down.   That   last   part   was   what   Leo   was   used   to.   

               HE   COULD   ALMOST   HEAR   HIS   MAMA’S   VOICE   THAT   WAS   USED   to   lecture   him   on   many   occasions:   Mi   hijo,   no   one   in   life   knows   what   they   are   doing.   Not   even   adults.   One   page   at   a   time…   one   step   at   a   time.   It   took   Leo   long   enough   to   realize   how   true   it   was.   And   if   he   could   be   so   bold,   he   would   even   say   that   the   gods   had   no   idea   what   they   were   doing.   So,   what   now?   It   meant   that   everything   was   going   to   be   fine.   Leo   needed   to   allow   himself   this   weakness,   to   be   honest   with   someone.   This   was   his   chance   to   reach   for   a   place   ahead.   It   was   even   better   to   know   that   even   Percy   Jackson   didn’t   have   it   all   figured   out   either   

            THE   SON   OF   HEPHAESTUS   LET   OUT   A   SMALL   SNORT.   HIS   whole   body   started   to   relax   again,   “   Hey,   I   think   that   would   almost   be   the   best   idea   ever.   I   could   probably   make   you   up   a   wicked   pair.   ”   Already   his   mind   came   up   with   three   ideas   for   those   glasses.

                  HIS   SMALL   SNORT   TURNED   INTO   HIS   OWN   CHUCKLE   AT   PERCY’S   remark.   Every   demigod   was   labeled   ‘uncool’   weren’t   they?   That   thought   made   him   feel   more   at   ease,   more   comfortable,   “   Nah.   I   think…   I—   yeah.   I   do   appreciate   it.   I   mean,   not   many   would   do   what   you   just   did.   At   least,   people   I’ve   met   in   the   past,   ”   Leo   shifted   on   his   makeshift   seat,   “   So,   really…   I   do   mean   it,   ”   his   sheepish   smile   came   across   his   lips,   “   To   be   honest—   like   I’m   going   to   be   honest,   I   didn’t   know   if   I   wanted   to   accept   this   talk,   ”   he   shrugged,   “   But,   I’m   glad   I   did.   I   think   we   can   do   some   serious   damage   together.   ”

To those of you out there who ever had the fun curiosity, I wonder how I come off to other people . . . you clearly don’t have folks looking at you the way they look at Percy. They made it pretty clear what they thought about him, from the time he was a kid and people expected nothing of him, to all of the sudden having everyone expect everything of him, to apparently seeming like some untouchable jerk who “had it all together” and knew what he was doing 24/7—like he was born into being a hero and therefore had never struggled once.

Oh, boo-hoo, Percy Jackson; throw a pity party— Yeah, okay. He got it. Maybe he even understood, and maybe that was exactly the reason he felt the need to sit down honestly like this and make it entirely clear: Bro, I have no idea what I’m doing. (But, hey, when I figure it out, you’ll be one of the first I tell.) Something on his ever-growing list of “Things I Don’t Expect to Hear (But Usually End Up Hearing Anyway)” was being told he was scary to any degree, but even then . . . Leo confessing it more or less made it official.

Come to think of it, Frank and Hazel once stared at him like that: like they weren’t sure whether to be horrified or impressed by what he’d done. In the adrenaline of the moment, sure, Percy might not have paid it much mind, but the fact he could so clearly remember their faces said something.

Hey, if he was so intimidating without even trying, you’d think more monsters would buzz right off and leave him alone. Gods forbid that work in his favor.

Percy’s face twisted, something like a flinch. “My bad,” he admitted again, but forced himself to loosen up some as he stretched out his legs, spread his hands. “I mean, I could start wearing googly-eye glasses or something if that’d help.” There was no way a guy could be scary when he looked like that, right? Percy was positive even if someone was beating him to a pulp, he’d be struggling not to laugh the entire time. If anyone could figure something out to combat the “intimidation” factor, though, it’d be Leo. That being said, now Percy figured he ought to be worried about the outcome—

Talk about shooting yourself in the foot . . .

At the very least, Leo was actually smiling, now. When what seemed like a genuine grin split across his face, Percy realized how insanely contagious it was coming from him. (And, y’know? He liked it. He wanted that to happen more.) After a bark of laughter, Percy said, “If ‘uncoolness’ is a problem on this ship, I think we’re all in trouble.” But, no, that was definitely a lie. Percy actually thought all of them deserved a little bit of hype. “You don’t gotta thank me, man. This was something I wanted to do, so. Actually pretty cool of you to listen and, uh . . . talk to me.”

[pyredez]

                  WHEN   PEOPLE   STARTED   TO   TALK   ABOUT   BEING   DIFFERENT,   LEO   ALMOST   got   more   fidgety   than   he   already   was.   His   anxieties   begin   to   spike,   and   soon   words   leave   his   mouth   in   an   almost   defensive   manner.   He   hated   it.   It   made   him   feel   as   if   everyone   was   out   to   get   him   when   in   reality   they   never   paid   him   any   mind.   Leo   didn’t   want   to   make   this   about   him.   He,   despite   all   his   theatrics,   didn’t   like   to   be   the   center   of   attention.   Yet   his   fake   confidence   always   did,   and   sometimes   not   in   a   good   way,   but   again   this   was   about   Jason.   Jason   hardly   talked   about   himself,   being   vulnerable   with   him,   and   Leo   somehow   ruined   it.   

               HE   STOPPED   WHAT   HE   WAS   DOING.   HE   BACKED   AWAY   FROM   the   part   he   tinkered   with,   grease   and   soot   covered   part   of   his   face.   Leo   raised   a   hand   to   wipe   his   forehead   clean   of   it   as   best   as   he   could,   “   N-No!   Wait,   man,   that   wasn’t   what   I— ”   he   sighed   and   reached   for   a   cloth,   “   What   I   mean   is   that…   I   get   it.   I’m   sorry   if   I   sounded   insensitive.   ”   His   other   hand   reached   back   to   scratch   the   back   of      his   curls,   “   You   have   a   lot   going   on.   You   have   two   different   points   of   view,   and   it’s   a   little   confusing.   I   couldn’t   imagine.   ”

               CHOCOLATE   HUES   LOOKED   BACK   AT   HIS   HANDY   WORK   WITH   A   shake   of   his   head,   “   But   using   your   strength   could   be   quite   useful.   Plus   your   flying   abilities   would   be   pretty   dang   helpful.   Less   use   of   some   of   the   machines   around   here   which   could   save   a   little   time.   ”   He   beamed.   @volansvir xx

[pyredez]

Caraxes, The Blood Wyrm, in battle House of the Dragon - 1.03 Second of His Name

[pyredez]

I feel like no one talks about how leo literally controlled the argo 2 with a Wii controller

[pyredez]

                  HE   FELT   INSTANT   GUILT   OF   DROPPING   SUCH   AN   HONEST   BOMB.   It   probably   made   him   look   more   like   an   idiot   than   before.   Leo   wanted   to   crawl   away   with   a   small   joke   that   ended   with   a   ‘Haha!   Gotcha!’.   Who   said   that?   Who   didn’t   have   at   least   one   friend   or   two   by   now?   Leo   had   been   so   alone,   so   ridiculed   by   so   many   that   basic   human   functions   were   a   foreign   concept.   

                  ‘Or   maybe   it   was   never   other   people.   Maybe   it   was   you   that   distanced   yourself   until   it   was   foreign’.

                     THAT   COULD   BE   TRUE.   THAT   COULD   ALSO   PLAY   A   PART.   Leo   knew,   and   had   been   told   softly   by   others,   that   he   had   to   recognize   his   own   fault   for   this   great   weight.   It   was   a   step   forward.   He   had   to   be   honest   with   himself   and   others.   He   just   knew   he   dropped   something   heavy   on   someone   who   probably   wasn't   equipped   for   such   a   blow.   But   really…   everything   all   demi-gods   are   doing   now   wasn't something they were   really   equipped   for   this.   One   thing   was   for   sure—   demi-gods   grew   up   fast.   Faster   than   they   should   be.   Alas…   it   was   their   life.   A   fated   life   from   the   start.   

               NOT   ONLY   DID   HE   LOOK   LIKE   AN   IDIOT,   BUT   NOW   a   child.   Why   did   he   have   to   go   and   mention   his   mom?   Just   the   thought   made   his   eyes   prickle,   a   burning   sensation   behind   chocolate   hues.   She   had   been   everything   to   him,   and   he   had   only   known   her   for   a   short   time.   It   wasn’t   fair.   She   was   ripped   away   from   him   too   soon,   and   Leo   never   got   the   chance   to   say   anything   to   her,   to   let   her   know   how   much   he   appreciated   all   the   care   she   gave.

               PERCY’S   WORDS   ALMOST   SOUNDED   LIKE   PITY,   BUT   HE   SHOULD   KNOW   better.   From   what   he   already   figured   out   Percy,   the   man   never   said   anything   he   didn’t   mean…   unless   of   course   it   was   to   an   enemy.   From   what   he   could   tell,   Leo   wasn’t   that   to   Percy.   This   made   him   feel   more   at   ease,   and   for   once   Leo   allowed   himself   to   be   vulnerable.   He   sighed   with   that   relief,   his   shoulders   dropped   with   a   strong   intensity   which   almost   was   heartbreaking   in   itself,   “   Really?   ”   His   voice   didn’t   sound   like   his   own—   it   was   too   raw,   “   It   did,   and   still   does,   seem   like   you   have   it   all   together,   ”   Leo   offered   the   other   demo-god   a   small   smile,   a   timid   one,   “   I   won’t   lie   to   you,   man,   ”   a   small   pause   with   a   soft   breath,   “   I   thought   there   could   be   nothing   wrong   in   your   life.   Popular   at   camp,   saved   the   world   a   couple   of   times,   got   cool   powers…   I   mean   super   neat   type   of   guy.   You   did   give   me   the   chills   when   you   were   angry,   ”   he   admitted   through   a   nervous   chuckle,   “   Still   wrong   of   me   to   judge.   ”

                  LEO   FELT   WARMTH   SPREAD   IN   HIS   CHEST.   HE   WAS   RIGHT.   All   of   them   were   in   the   middle   of   trying   to   figure   things   out.   They   were   young   with   (hopefully)   a   long   life   ahead.   He   should   focus   on   the   now.   Not   the   past,   not   the   future,   but   here   with   this   quest.   He   should   see   that   all   of   them   were   just   as   nervous   and   frightened   for   it,   “   I—   yeah.   Yeah,   you’re   right,   ”   to   not   be   hard   on   himself?   That   was   going   to   take   longer   to   do,   “   Let’s   figure   it   out   together   then.   I   like   the   sound   of   that,   ”   a   huge   smile   spread   across   his   lips,   “   And,   uh,   thanks.   I   know   I   sound…   um…   well,   uncool,   but   I’m   just—   thanks,   man.   ”   How   does   he   go   back   to   making   jokes   now?   How   does   he   go   back   to   being   annoying?   His   cover   was   ruined...   well   for   Percy   anyway.   

So, mere seconds ago, Percy was already thinking to himself, Okay, great. I’m making progress here. The guy’s opening up to me, probably doesn’t think I’m the worst person in the universe anymore, might actually be on the path to becoming real friends—mission accomplished. What he hadn’t taken into account was that this could actually go deeper. That he’d just been wiggling his toes in the wet sand from the tide, and now he was getting straight-up yanked into the undertow. Because just when Percy had accepted that Leo would likely need a lot more time before anything went any further . . . the kid just went ahead and dropped the most honest, and likely the most heart-breaking thing Percy had ever heard:

I don’t know how friends work.

The way it just kinda fell out made Percy think it wasn’t totally intentional, just one of those debilitating thoughts you usually keep to yourself up until something (or someone?) finally pushes you over the edge and it spills everywhere. Almost immediately after saying it, Leo’s attention darted away like a spooked alley cat, which was just as well, considering Percy couldn’t help staring at him from the shock of it all. (And he had been doing a lot of that lately, hadn’t he? Way to make the guy feel comfortable, Percy. Just keep on gawking at him.)

He didn’t have time to say anything between his dumb surprise and Leo hastily shoeing in an afterthought. Or two. Or three. Percy was sure that moment of silence didn’t exactly help matters—and was equally wondering when he’d shoved his own foot in his mouth—but when he eventually got around to at least attempting some sort of response, Leo really just . . . dragged him deeper. All it took was the mention of his mom, that telltale crackle in his voice, and Percy managed to bridge a few gaps without needing to ask.

“Hey, me too.” It was the best he could do on short-notice: a thread of relatability the two of them could follow while Percy silently digested everything else Leo had just spouted. He tried to maintain a cool demeanor (“cool” as in . . . calm; Percy knew he wasn’t cool cool), combatting those nerves clearly still taking hold of Leo, and he hoped it showed in his smile. “On, uh . . . both accounts. Just to be clear. I didn’t really have any friends until Camp Half-Blood. Well— Okay, not true. Grover would kill me if he heard me say that, but . . . I just mean I’m not exactly popular in the ‘real world.’ And plenty of half-bloods hated me for awhile too—some still do.”

His shoulders hunched a bit. “Now, that must sound stupid: ‘Mr. Hero’ complaining about not being the popular kid . . . I probably look like a big jerk, which is saying something after how I treated you back there.” A grimace twisted his face, but he met Leo’s eyes earnestly. “I guess I just mean . . . all of us are figuring this out, y’know? No different than we’re figuring out this quest: we’re doing it together. And that includes you. You don’t gotta be so hard on yourself.”

[pyredez]

I understand you Hephaestus....

[pyredez]

               HE   HAD   HEARD   IT   PLENTY   OF   TIMES   SINCE   HE   HAD   been   at   camp—   you   don’t   take   yourself   seriously,   Leo.   Don’t   put   himself   down   like   that.   He’s   heard   all   of   it   before,   but   honestly   he   can’t   help   it.   It’s   second   nature   to   him   at   this   point.   Leo   already   had   so   many   incidents   that   proved   how   he   felt   anyway.   So,   was   he   really   far   off   base?   Many   fellow   campers   tried   to   tell   him   otherwise,   or   tried   to   explain   that   it   was   part   of   who   he   was   with   this   type   of   life.   He   would   continue   to   receive   tasks,   and   tricks   from   many   legendary   figures.   They   would   do   anything   to   crush   his   spirit,   or   rather…   toughen   him   up.   Leo   couldn’t   blame   to   the   fullest   degree   could   he?   They   all   have   lived   long   lives,   and   to   them   it   just   met   to   ‘suck   it   up’.   

               HE   SIGHED   AS   SHE   SPOKE.   HIS   EYES   DRIFTED   BACK   TO   the   floor   as   he   thought   to   himself.   What   she   had   said   made   some   sort   of   sense,   but   he   really   couldn’t   believe   that…   right?   Probably   banished   him   out   of   pity,   or   just   to   confuse   his   friends,   and   make   them   confused   on   what   to   do.   It   was   more   than   likely   that   option,   and   he   was   certain   they   would   make   the   right   choice   and   forget   about   him.   He   knew   that   they   would   be   able   to   guide   the   ship   without   his   help.   They   were   smart   enough   for   that.   

               “You’re   no   good   to   anyone   in   this   war   while   you’re   underestimating   yourself   this   much.”

                  IT   WAS   A   HARSH   THING   TO   SAY,   BUT   HE   knew   it   was   the   truth.   Yet   despite   all   of   this…   it   was   still   so   hard   to   believe.   Leo   wasn’t   totally   lost.   He   saw   that   he   built   a   sturdy   ship,   he   knew   he   could   help   in   that   area,   but   it   was   only   for   short   periods   of   time.   What   else   did   he   contribute?   How   was   he   a   good   friend   or   just   friend   material?   All   his   life,   all   his   childhood,   he   was   told   he   was   bad.   Family   called   him   ‘The   Devil   Child’.   They   pointed   at   him,   whispered   behind   his   back,   and   blamed   all   their   failures   on   him.   How   could   he   mend   from   that?   A   tender   mind   was   impressionable,   and   his   only   took   the   horror   of   it.   So,   again,   how   could   he   undo   that?   How   could   he   believe   the   opposite   of   that?

            LEO   CASTED   A   MORE   SHAMEFUL   LOOK   AT   THE   GROUND.   SHE   was   right.   He   knew   she   was   right,   but   again   he   didn’t   know   how   to   change   his   mind,   “   Sure—   I   mean…   yes.   I   would   appreciate   your   help,   ”   He   was   nowhere   near   as   strong   as   Jason,   Percy,   or   even   Nico,   but   fire   was   a   damaging   force.   Physically   he   was   no   threat,   but   if   he   didn’t   control   his   emotions   then   he   could   do   damage   to   even   his   friends.   If   anything,   he   was   a   hazard,   “   I’m   willing   to   put   my   trust   in   you,   ”   he   said   after   a   moment,   his   voice   quiet   with   tiredness.   Wasn’t   that   part   of   the   issue?   That   fact   that   Leo   didn’t   trust   people?   Why   not   branch   out?   Besides,   she   seemed   like   she   could   use   a   friend,   “   I’m,   uh,   I’m   sorry.   I   don’t   understand   why   I   still   think   the   way   I   do.   I’m   just—   I’m…   I   dunno,   ”   he   lifted   his   head,   “   Let’s   start   over,   ”   Leo   extended   his   hand   out   to   her,   “   I’m   Leo   Valdez.   ”

She's not offended by the fact that he laughs. At this point in his time on the island, and how she's gotten to know him in that time, it's kind of expected.

She is offended, however, at how unseriously he takes himself in every aspect. Most of the time- yeah, it's warranted. But after what she's just seen on the beach, the idea that his sense of humor or bumbling charisma is his most valuable attributes- that's insulting.

"If that's all you had to offer I'm pretty sure they'd never let you leave, and make you part of my eternal punishment," Calypso replies, a little deadpan. She hasn't quite come to appreciate his humor. Not yet, at least.

She unfolds her hands so they lay palm up, almost like a plea for him to take what she says to heart and just believe in himself a little bit. "I don't know why you feel the need to suppress your power. And it's not my business to know either. But whatever's happened in the past that makes you want to hide, you need to leave it behind here when you go back to your friends." Her gaze meets his and, though she's just said it's not her business, she wishes that the deep sadness his eyes sometimes hold would provide her with any useful information on what to do with it rather than just make her heart ache. "You're no good to anyone in this war while you're underestimating yourself this much."

It's not exactly true, it seems he's been plenty useful thus far. But in comparison to what she thinks he might be capable of? Well, there really is no comparison.

"And if it's control you're worried about, that I can help you with more than getting out of here. That is, if you trust me." Her eyes momentarily cast down to a loose thread on her sleeve she takes between two fingertips. "Even though I haven't exactly given you much reason to." While her memories of his first days at Ogygia used to made her bitter and exasperated, she now feels not much more besides guilt.

[pyredez]

Best part of wearing our camp half-blood costumes for Disney’s Halloween party was the reactions from some other guests and the cast members.

[pyredez]

I know I’m boring and I apologize for that

[pyredez]

Working on replies across all my blogs now. I’ll probably get around to finishing/posting them Sunday when I get to my Disney hotel! Might reblog memes on only on PJO blogs soon! Over at @ohlympns and @mistforms

[pyredez]

i dnt give a fuck!!! *starts crying*

[pyredez]

Okay so… I didn’t manage to get those done before I left so I’m brought my laptop. I got one more flight and then I’ll be able to chill and start getting back on those!

I know it’s been a hot minute, but hello!!! I’m going on vacation next week so I’m gonna blog hop until I leave to get things done! I’ve been feeling so meh for a while which is why I’ve been so quiet here. Please feel free to message me if you wanna discuss some stuff!! I will also be going over to @mistforms to do things and get things going on him more!

[pyredez]

I know it’s been a hot minute, but hello!!! I’m going on vacation next week so I’m gonna blog hop until I leave to get things done! I’ve been feeling so meh for a while which is why I’ve been so quiet here. Please feel free to message me if you wanna discuss some stuff!! I will also be going over to @mistforms to do things and get things going on him more!

[pyredez]

hey google tell me how to stop feeling a crippling and deep seated fear of abandonment

[pyredez]

               LEO   UNDERSTOOD   THAT   ABILITIES   FROM   A   DEMIGOD,   IF   THEY   HAD   any,   could   be   unconsciously   influenced   by   their   emotions.   He   knew   how   dangerous   it   could   be   if   they   got   out   of   control,   and   he   also   knew   just   how   damaging   his   own   could   be   too.   Which   was   why   he   was   annoyed   at   seeing   the   smoke,   or   feeling   the   plastic   bend   under   him   from   the   heat.   It   was   more   annoying   than   helpful   right   now.   In   fact,   he   felt   like   everything   he   had   done   for   this   trip   was   useless   and   unnecessary—   well,   besides   the   ship.   He   knew   that   was   important   even   if   he   fired   on   New   Rome.   

               PERCY’S   KINDNESS   WAS   SOMETHING   HE   PREFERRED   OVER   THE   FRUSTRATION   AND   anger   he   saw   on   his   face.   First,   Leo   was   angry   himself.   Why   did   he   immediately   think   he   did   it   on   purpose?   They   were   on   the   same   side,   from   the   same   camp   no   less.   Secondly,   he   was   a   little   frightened   by   the   face   that   had   scowled   down.   Despite   seeing   it   many   times   before,   it   stung   more   because   they   were   on   the   same   side.   Lastly,   he   was   disappointed.   He   was   disappointed   in   himself,   and   that   the   great   Percy   Jackson   had   been   a   jerk—   but   those   weren’t   fair   judgements   at   the   time,   and   still   aren’t.   In   fact,   Leo   could   understand   why   it   led   him   to   react   the   way   he   did.   Gods,   Leo   was   sure   he   would   be   the   same   way   too.   Thank   the   Gods   there   wasn’t   a   large   water   source   nearby.

                  EVEN   THEN,   LEO   DECIDED   THE   BEST   OPTION   WAS   JUST   TO   keep   a   low   profile.   Hide   away   in   the   engine   room?   Best   bet   out   of   all   the   places.   Leo   was   either   here   or   at   the   helm.   It   was   the   only   places   he   knew   for   sure   he   couldn’t   mess   up…   right?   It   was   his   ship   after   all   to   which   he   knew   best.   Leo   just   hoped   everyone   felt   safe   with   him,   or   at   least   had   some   trust   in   him   again.   

               A   SMALL   SMILE   TWITCHED   AT   THE   CORNER   OF   HIS   LIPS,   a   little   sad   one.   Jason   and   Piper   were   his   friends,   the   ones   that   understood   how   and   who   he   was.   Jason   had   been   the   first   person   Leo   had   opened   up   to   about   his   life,   and   then   a   little   more   to   both   of   them.   He   cared   about   them   deeply,   wanted   to   talk   to   them   in   fact,   but   he   was   scared   to   do   so.   He   was   scared   that   he   might   get   rejected   for   what   he   did   (didn’t?)   do.   He   didn’t   want   to   see   those   faces   twisted   with   annoyance   and   anger,   no,   not   from   them.   The   others?   Sure,   fine,   but   not   them.   Leo   wasn’t   so   sure   what   he   would   do   if   those   two   decided   to   not   like   him   one   day.   

               LEO   BEGAN   TO   FIDDLE   WITH   HIS   FINGERS.   HE   SHOULD   FIND   something   to   do   with   his   hands,   get   some   wires   or   bolts,   but   he   didn’t   dare.   He   felt   as   if   he   moved,   made   himself   look   more   like   an   outcast,   Percy   would   change   his   mind   with   this   kind   conversation.   His   kind   conversation.   Leo   felt   his   heart   swell,   and   then   drop.   This   was   a   decent   talk,   one   where   Leo   had   just   cracked   enough   of   his   surface   for   Percy   to   see.   This   thought   only   made   him   fidget   more.   What   was   he   doing?   Why   was   he   doing   it?   Leo   wanted   to   combust   right   at   the   second,   but   he   figured   Percy   would   just   set   him   out,   “   I   guess   I…   I   guess   I   don’t   know   how   friends   work.   ”   It   was   so   brutally   honest   that   it   hurt.   

                  HIS   GAZE   FELL   AWAY   FROM   PERCY   THEN.   TO   ADMIT   THAT   made   him   feel   like   a   young   boy   again.   Just   a   young   boy   who   was   trying   to   understand   the   world   around   him,   and   make   friends   on   the   playground.   Leo   bit   down   on   the   inside   of   his   cheek,   swearing   to   himself   in   Spanish   and   English,   “   I-I   mean   that—   I   understand   friendships,   ”   Leo   wanted   to   cover   himself,   save   whatever   bits   and   pieces   he   had   left,   “   I   guess   I   just   mean   that   I   never,   uh…   um,   had   many   before?   ”   How   lame   does   that   sound?

               LEO   HUFFED,      A   HEAVY   SOUND   THAT   WAS   CHOKED   AROUND   A   laugh,   “   Sorry.   That   must   sound   stupid,   ”   embarrassment   gripped   Leo   by   the   collar,   “   I   just   talked   with   my   mom   the   most.   ”   His   voice   cracked   around   the   mention   of   her.   

Percy wondered if this whole . . . smoke thing he was noticing about Leo was anything like his own propensity for exploding toilets. (Wow, okay, he really needed to just go with “plumbing” or something because the whole “exploding toilets” phrase did not make him look good for a multitude of reasons.) It had to be emotionally-driven—plenty of demigod powers were, as far as he knew—and he swore little trails of the stuff had been rising off of the guy ever since Percy set foot in here . . . now that Percy could tell it was coming from him and not just the machine room in general. Heck, he didn’t know how machines worked and what was and wasn’t supposed to smoke.

Should he have been concerned about the possibility of Leo just bursting into flames at any given second . . . ? Sure, maybe. If he wasn’t the son of Poseidon and he wasn’t fully committed to trusting Leo. That was what he deserved, after all: people believing in him instead of doubting him. Percy decided right then that he’d be the former. No matter what.

And then he realized he was a little caught up in his own thoughts, nearly missed Leo’s response to a question he’d pointedly asked. Thankfully, Percy caught it in time.

“Gotcha.” He intervened when Leo trailed off, giving him only a second of silence to check he had nothing more to say before alleviating the pressure to say more. But, naturally, this just meant Percy was in the hot seat (figuratively . . . Leo was definitely still there literally), and that kind of sucked when he wasn’t totally sure what more he should say. Well, what more to say that didn’t just sound like a coddling mother and a figure Percy definitely wasn’t going to even pretend to be. “You know—?” So what if that was a little bit of a placeholder to buy him some time?

He shrugged before continuing. “I think they’d want you to talk to them about it.” Maybe he couldn’t speak for them individually. Maybe he didn’t know them well enough to really get them, but what he did know—? They cared about Leo. He saw it even if Leo didn’t. And maybe Leo just as well needed to learn how to trust on his end, too. “I mean, something like this . . . ? Well, anything that’s bothering you— Friends want to know that stuff, y’know? They definitely don’t want you carrying a million and one burdens alone, at least.”

—said the guy who continued to try to do that way too often. Shut up. —said the guy now talking to himself.

Whatever.