qdde-pipedream

[qdde-pipedream]

"These big, hairy, muscular lesbians are in their masculine energy. Women should be in their feminine energy, we have to-"

I heard "big, hairy, muscular lesbians" and got so wet I passed out and hit my head.

[qdde-pipedream]

It is what it is twin

And remember, everything is temporary. Let it happen.

[qdde-pipedream]

Saying I love you means to forgive and always look forward to the good

Saying I loved you meant to always appreciate the tokens of affection rarely given and hope for better change

Telling you it's okay meant covering up the bruises and broken bones you caused

Leaving you then, I hated you for what you've done and knew too much to stay

In the hardest of lessons, the last one you'd ever teach me was about people

The lesson was:

"Love isn't always predictable"

Sometimes, it's playing the long game to find out you've spent time with the antagonist of your story

The one who wouldn't set you free

There is no right to tear me down the way you did

I loved you a long time ago

Until recently, I know now I can never be with you the same

[qdde-pipedream]

[qdde-pipedream]

There’s bad traits only my partners know. Because with them I split myself down the middle, from my neck to my stomach, and I show them everything. Blood, guts and bone. And it’s not a pretty sight. It’s sticky, thick, throbbing, yellowish, too hard, too soft. Disgusting. Unpleasant.

[qdde-pipedream]

What I have to show is not pretty. It’s vomit and guts. I swallow it, I regurgitate it and I spit it back out. Just like all my thoughts. I think them and I devour them and I puke them, and I devour them and I puke them, and I devour them and I puke them. 100 times, 1000 times. And it never feels finished. Never feels complete

[qdde-pipedream]

[qdde-pipedream]

I have never read a book by Sylvia Plath. I think i should. I feel like she gets my experience. But isn’t that everyone’s experience? Who doesn’t want to live every life and be every person?

But being human means being limited to your body, your mind and your life. There’s beauty in it, right? Your experience is only yours.

I may be limited to only feeling that warmth while in the backseat or only feeling that peace in that bed with her, but it’s so beautiful. If I truly could live all the possible lifes o feel all the possible feelings, I think those experiences would loose their value

[qdde-pipedream]

I know that loving hard won’t make people love me back, but it makes me feel complete. Knowing that not all I have to give is bad. Knowing that for every negative or destructive thought I ever had, I have at least 100 pretty ones of love and devotion for my friends. A kind of platonic love that makes me feel alive.

It’s nice, knowing that I loved harder than I hated.