quarantinediaries

[quarantinediaries]

Intermittent Idea

I always had a small part of me that wanted to be prom queen. Or homecoming queen. Or anything like that. Even to be in the running for that kind of thing seemed appealing. But I never told anyone, and I was obviously not a prime candidate for this kind of thing. I think the idea of attention and adoration just for a little bit over something really superficial and meaningless sounded great. It was something I wouldn’t have to put any work in for.

In a time such as this, that kind of attention seems utterly ridiculous. Really, any kind of attention that isn’t directed at the greater good of our planet and global health seems silly.

But I realized that these things can’t be given proper attention without other things. People need to be given love, they need to be given validation and care. So, if being crowned queen of something is the push someone needs to feel good enough to donate a box of handmade masks or meals, then that’s what it takes. The focus should not be trained on what we should give all our attention to without focusing even a tiny bit on the aspects that feed these things.

Be nice to people. Let them do what they need to do to feel good, so that we as a humanity can move forward in any kind of positive way.

Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay indoors while you do it. :)

-M.

[quarantinediaries]

Lessons Learned

Things that quarantine has taught me:

1.) I am actually not in “quarantine.” People get very upset when you use the wrong staying-inside vocabulary. I am technically in “self isolation.” But quarantine sounds better, and people have bigger things to worry about than the words others are using right now to describe the thing that is destroying humanity.

2.) Humanity is actually not being destroyed, but strengthened. Ever since things got serious and everyone realized that this virus is a real and present threat to themselves and their families, it became clear that life isn’t so bad after all. People are now placing a very high and important value on the arts. Now more than ever, Netflix binges have a different meaning, new languages are being learned (even if it is out of boredom), new music is being created and given attention, books are becoming something to depend on, and pretty much all other art forms are just in general being given the attention they really deserve. It’s refreshing, as an artist, to see this. And yes, science is still obviously very important, and it is the thing that will ultimately save us. However, the things that are maintaining and preserving our humanity come from creative minds. And this is something to take note of, especially in the future once things shift back to normal. Never forget what got you through this time of uncertainty and anxiety.

3.) Alone time is important. Self isolation looks different from person to person. Whether you’re alone in a house or an apartment, whether you have pets or plants, whether you’re cooped up with your family, big or small, change of pace is taking place. This is another thing that caused a change in daily life, although it is one of the more obvious ones. What isn’t obvious, however, is the act of self reflection that is taking place. Those who complain daily about their jobs are longing to return. Essential workers are feeling a strangely new sense of pride in their duties. Others are giving those workers the credit they deserve. People are turning inward, observing themselves in order to assess their personal situation, and moving forward from there. Being alone takes patience for some people. It takes work to spend this much time with yourself, free of distractions. Things are being put to the test that aren’t in everyday life. Relationships (romantic and otherwise), friendships, students’ ability to focus and hold themselves responsible, teachers being able to do the same and adapt to this situation as quickly as they can, parents who are spending a huge amount of time with their children. The list goes on. Advice for these tests is simple: show up. And work. There is more time now than ever to make yourself present in the lives of those you care about, and there aren’t many excuses not to do this. Give family members a call, say hi to your neighbor, thank the person delivering your lounge-wear. Be kind.

4.) People are being exposed. Those who fail these tests of present-ness in others’ lives are showing their true colors by doing so. It is easy to maintain a relationship or friendship with someone when they are right there in front of you. But throw in some nation-mandated distance, and the people who are usually always there may disappear for a while. Texts may come in scattered fragments, phone calls more rare. Virtual hang outs are a place to turn to, but energy is required, and effort is also mandatory. This isn’t always there, I have noticed. This is a very tough time for some people, however, and doing these seemingly simple things may be more difficult depending on on the person. Give people a break, but work to figure something out. This is information to hold onto even as we’re allowed to interact with people in public again. 

This list grows everyday, but these are the biggest things I have noticed and felt compelled to include. The most important things to take away from this are to be kind, be present, and be safe. Say please and thank you, give yourself and others a break, and find out more about yourself. 

Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay inside. We’re gonna get through this as long as we try!

-M.

[quarantinediaries]

Equalizing Endeavors

My family is obsessively watching Little House on the Prairie, and I just can’t hear that intro music any longer. I can’t.

Have you ever talked to someone just after they have returned from a trip to somewhere far away? And you haven’t gone anywhere, and your life has remained completely stagnant in comparison to the individual who has just undergone some form of transformation?

I recall last summer as I talked to my boyfriend and his father who had gone to Italy. They were both tan, had a different look in their eye, and had ingested more carbs and wine than I have in my life. Maybe not the carbs. Anyway. With a new light flooding their perspectives and hundreds of pictures to discuss, they had obviously experienced something that I had not.

I am not feeling the same sensation at the present time. It is not often that I interact with people that I feel as though we are experiencing the exact same thing-- in fact, it is rare and I’m not recalling a time that this actually occurred.But it happened today. Because nobody is going anywhere. Nobody is seeing anything new. Nobody is leaving their homes (some people are, and those people should go back inside and help everyone else). 

And it is an arresting assortment of asinine activities. I am captivated by the stories of the days of others, because they are all so similar and each story struggles to achieve equal amounts of creativity, satisfaction, and proof that they did not look up “things to do” on the Internet. I’m in no way saying that I’m not also doing these things, I am just pleased that now, even the most spontaneous and Instagram-posting prone individuals are now tethered to their homes. Social equalization is refreshing. Let’s all take a leaf from the Engles family’s book, and make our own clothes and farm our own food. Enter each new and enthralling day with curiosity and willingness to do.

For now, though, stay safe, stay healthy, and stay inside! Also, be nice to grocery store workers. If you’re going to bulk-buy canned beans, you might as well take the extra step to be nice to the high school student ringing you up.

-M.

[quarantinediaries]

Disastrous Delicatessen

As a student, I like to dedicate as much of my time during the school year to my studies. And occasionally Twisted Tea. During spring break this year, as I had no plans to do anything, I thought I would return to my seasonal part time job. I work at a local grocery store in my hometown behind a deli counter. It is gross, it is irritating, and it never ceases to show me the lengths that the general public will stride to for the sake of lunch meat.

In the midst of this confusing and stressful time high with tension and full of concern, a grocery store is one of the busiest places. Even during a period of social distancing and quarantine, the people need their groceries. Or, their just-in-case-myself-and-my-family-of-four-can’t-leave-our-home-snacks.

Name calling, unwarranted aggression over cheese, and suffocating self-entitlement are just a few of the phrases I would use to describe the events that have transpired over the past week. After being called a vulgar four letter word that unrightfully describes female anatomy, beginning with “c,” over a small plastic bag containing cheese, I have decided that I just can’t take any of these people seriously. It wouldn’t be intellectually healthy.

Today, all “non-essential businesses” were ordered to shut down. This, of course, does not include my local grocery store. So, I worked. And, from behind the sparse case of picked over meat and cheese, I watched as the residents of my small town showed their true colors. Much like one observes a tragic play from an audience in orchestra seating, I viewed the scenes of this performance as they rapidly flew by-- unsuspecting onlookers became active and vivid members of lively debate, and innocent produce pickers became conspiracy theorists.

What panic does to people has proven to be drastic, and these effects continue to astonish me. I’ve learned to find humor in them, though laughing out loud may trigger more name calling. Keep it to short, silent exhales and keep moving. 

If you are a non-essential employee of the system, do stay safe out there. But also stay healthy, and also stay inside. It’s turning out to be a bumpy ride.

-M.

[quarantinediaries]

Introductories

Hi! This is my first post on my new tumblr, Quarantine Diaries. Welcome :)

As I was sitting, just now, next to my diffuser filling the room with a cloud of “OnGuard” essential oils and researching the best women’s multivitamin for immunity, a thought struck me. I felt crazy. If the goal of all of the Corona-Virus media coverage was to instill a deep and resounding feeling of panic in me, it worked. It worked so well. It worked like a functioning light switch works every day to shed light on frantic people and irrational decisions-- well. Very well. 

So I thought, I gotta write this down. I have to know I’m not the only one attempting to remain calm while also spiraling down the dark green and swirly vortex of panic that is the world today. Some background about myself-- I am 21, a female, and a senior in college. I major in English Language and Literature and I have minor in Writing. You can call me M, because I am paranoid about having an online presence and do not want to disclose my full name even though that won’t really do anything, as a lot of people in the world have my name and these exact descriptors. Aside from friends and family and significant other and pets, the things I love most are reading and writing, music (playing, listening, creating), and the making and eating of good food. I realize that this does not set me apart from others in my demographic, but I like to believe that it is the way in which I present myself through these things that makes me unique.

I am starting this blog as a way to expel some of my thoughts and worries and feelings during this interesting time in the world while also having an outlet for my need to write things. I know I’m not alone in feeling scared of this, and I also know that the world needs unification and positivity. So I’m going to try to tie in my daily happenings with the rest of everything going on to connect it all here. 

Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay inside, because we’re all in for a bumpy ride.

-M.