if-i-aint-laughing-im-crying

[if-i-aint-laughing-im-crying]

I can't keep doing this.

After this semester, I will be changing to a mathmatics degree. I can't keep writing essays. I'd rather learn complex calculus (formulas and correct answers are better) than pursue my creative love and write an essay on a topic I barely grasp (there is no yes or no, there is only what is the purpose of this text and whyyyyyyyyy).

I don't need to pay 12 grand a sem to be told I have no creative future. I could spend that money on a degree that would be good for starting a small business. Better yet, i could spend that money on starting a small business.

Accounting sounds nice and tidy. Maybe. I'm exhausted.

[if-i-aint-laughing-im-crying]

Life plan, write some weird and obscure play that doesn't perform well but literature professors seem to go buck wild for (Love and Information, Caryl Churchill).

I'll make (a tiny amount of) money off that for the next twenty years while professors make their students buy a copy each semester so they can write a shitty analytical essay trying to root out non-existent meaning from it. They'll give me an honorary degree in English and I will move on to opening a bookstore and/or publishing house instead of this academia hell.

See yall on the flip side.

[if-i-aint-laughing-im-crying]

I only post this here because my mum would tell me to stop crying and that I got accepted for a reason. They saw my grade, I have no ducking idea why they admitted me.

I have nobody else to talk to.

Sorry.

I've worked myself up again.

It is week two of semester and I'm already stressing about everything. Everything.

My argumentative essay on unhealthy relationships in YA lit (I have to pick a particular novel and work from there). My korean class (which I ditched this week because I felt like I was already falling behind my peers). If its too late to drop a unit for adifferent one. The university website that won't give me a simple answer and seems to just send me on loops. How I will never be smart/committed/hardworking enough to actually belong here.

Dont worry, I've had a little cry about it already. I just wish I could sleep now.

[if-i-aint-laughing-im-crying]

I've worked myself up again.

It is week two of semester and I'm already stressing about everything. Everything.

My argumentative essay on unhealthy relationships in YA lit (I have to pick a particular novel and work from there). My korean class (which I ditched this week because I felt like I was already falling behind my peers). If its too late to drop a unit for adifferent one. The university website that won't give me a simple answer and seems to just send me on loops. How I will never be smart/committed/hardworking enough to actually belong here.

Dont worry, I've had a little cry about it already. I just wish I could sleep now.

[if-i-aint-laughing-im-crying]

I can't decide if vanilla ice cream with chocolate shavings on original chips tastes good or not.

Like, the first bit is like huh? But as it goes down its like, oh hmmm.

[if-i-aint-laughing-im-crying]

I am permanently exhausted.

I'm not ready for my classes tomorrow.

I'm so tired but its only ten to ten I have to stay up a little later because I told my roommate to grab me if the big black bug made a reappearance in her room - Just because I'm aussie doesn't mean I am better equipped for creepy crawlies.

I need to clean my room as well. And wash my sheets. And my clothes. And I have to keep my dishes from piling up. And I need to watch my lectures. And do my class readings. I need to pick my research topic from my final two options. I need to find at least one academic source to bring to class on wednesday. I need to start on all my assignments (because you better bet your arse that I have four due on week four - give or take a week)

I am so tired.

[if-i-aint-laughing-im-crying]

Gosh.

In a mood and am this close to ruining my roommates' night and turning DEH to top volume.

Its okay its only one in the morning.

[if-i-aint-laughing-im-crying]

Should I be laughing at something I relate to so much?

Its laugh or cry really, and I'm trying not to cry.