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[queen-of-confusion13]

The value of each life depends on who is evaluating it.

As always, IMO (in my opinion) and with my limited general knowledge. There is a LOT of history and research out there and sometimes history gets rewritten more than once.

Amazon Prime made a Sundance 2019 prize winning documentary called "One Child Nation." It was made by Chinese born filmmakers and tells what really happened during China's One-Child policy. It is worth the time, but get the kleenex if you cry easily, and just remember to breathe.

We wonder what the "truth" is and think we can count on authorities to give us accurate information. A look back at the numbers regarding China's history is a good example of how they are manipulated to shed a positive light on reports.

China had a famine that killed millions of people during the years of 1958 to 1961, but some scholars include 1957 and 1962, so you can see from the very start that all numbers are in question. The range of people who starved to death is between 15 and 55 million. Reports made to the government were not accurate because they didn't want to tell them that the new policies caused 70% of the problem while natural disasters such as flooding and drought caused the other 30%.

One person on a bus trip describes seeing the bodies of dead people all along the side of the road, but people just didn't "see" them out of the bus windows. Accurate reporting could cause retailation. The most stricken province was Anhui, and that is exactly where our daughter was born. People were so desperate that they resorted to cannibalism. They could eat dirt to fill their stomachs, but the desperation to stay alive caused crazy things to happen. The population of China during this time dropped by around 15 million due to a lower birth rate and increased death rate.

After the famine was over the population returned to normal activities....procreation. And the numbers started increasing over the years until it the problem was reversed and it was decided to implement a one-child policy in 1980. Each couple was only allowed one child. The tradition in China is that the bride goes with the man's family. Females were and are not valued as highly as males. There was even a time when females feet were bound in order to make them deformed and small and that made it difficult to walk or run away. They were definitely second-class if even that. Therefore, having a son meant you were set for life. Having a girl was worse than not having children at all.

As a result of this, infanticide was common. A bucket of water would be sitting beside the mother as she gave birth and if it was a girl she was drown in it before she took her first breath. There were forced third trimester abortions and sex selective abortions. It is understandable how the number of women available for marriage was considerably reduced a couple of decades later and men had a hard time finding a mate.

Some parents decided to save the lives of their babies even though they could get in big trouble. They began to leave them places where they were sure to be found hoping for the best. Orphanages started to increase and the plight of the Chinese girl became known across the world. People wanted to help save those precious girls, so all around the world they were being adopted into families ... going home. Compassion was the word. And it took money.

As the chinese government observed this happening they got dollar signs in their eyes. Girls were worthless there, but could be used to make a pretty penny elsewhere. It was illegal for anyone to abandon their child during this time, so when a baby was found a search was immediately launched to find the parents to prosecute them. Official paperwork went with each girl stating that the search had been fruitless and the child was indeed an orphan. We got those same papers when we were there.

I don't know exactly when the government started stealing children and claiming they were orphans for profit. Adoptions were still in great demand, so they saw opportunity. Gone were the rooms that they put unwanted babies in to die from complete neglect. Lisa Ling showed these rooms in a documentary, and it very well could have been from the orphanage that had our daughter. As always, follow the money. We had to show up with a bundle of cash in hand as an orphanage donation. While this raised flags it wasn't a show stopper for us as we truly believed that all those 400 kids at that orphanage were without families. There were 100 under the age of one and conditions were horrible. Seeing the film "One Child Nation" made me realize that our daughter might been kidnapped and sold. It was horrifying. It was tough to deal with, but considering the young girls who were no older than 8 soliciting their services to the men in our group on the streets of Beijing while their pimp sat behind them, at least I knew our daughter was safe.

The agency we used for our adoption was recommended by friends who had a good experience with them. They had a chinese man who had been present at the Tiananmen Square massacre. I remember seeing that confrontation. He had come to America, and his mission was to bring as many families together as possible and give these girls a better life. He accompanied all the families in groups of 6-7 and was the translator, banker, tour guide, and baby charmer all at once. It was a great experience and they had a fund used to help the orphanages. He said that they used to be in desperate need of food, then it was the clothes, now they needed washers. We took baby clothes as a donation when we went there. When we got out daughter they took off the little pants she was wearing and left her in the onsie. They really were in need.

I was talking to our daughter one time about where she was born and pointed it out on the globe. Then I wanted to show her a picture of Zhou who had been our guide so I tried to reach their site on the internet. What came up made me gently ask my daughter immediately to go get me something so she would leave the room while I freaked out. The adoption agency we used had been shut down for sex trafficking and financial exploitation. It blew my mind. It was horrific. And I found out about it by accident. We had recommended that agency to countless. My counselor helped me by telling me that I reframe it and be thankful that our daughter was safe from all that evil. It wasn't something that I wanted to share with our adoption group that were with us on that 12 day trip, but later on somebody else discovered it and shared it with the group as she was absolutely horrified, too.

God directed us to our daughter. We already had three kids and I had a hysterectomy so we weren't thinking our family would grow. But, we definitely had signs from God which I will share later, It's not easy to deny God's will and we weren't even going to try. So, we were blessed with a baby girl. Our family who we thought had been so perfect was missing one person. And that baby that I finally got into my arms on "gotcha day" has been a total blessing and completed our family perfectly.

We need to be on the alert for governmental abuse and lies. Falsifying numbers reported, spreading false information, using the citizenship for profit, unfairly treating it's population with some getting the lion's share while others getting too little to survive well. It is not enough to just have faith that good will prevail. If there is a real problem determining what the "truth" is then we need to start investigating and at least find out what it is not. If two elected officials stand on complete opposite sides of the fence then don't believe either one. Do your own research. Some people are very motivated by the wrong things and have no qualms about dishonesty.

I believe there is a special place in hell for people who abuse children. The most innocent people of all facing advances in technology that is constantly becoming more dangerous and intrusive in their lives. The world is a village with instant access into your home and child's mind. Depression and anxiety are worse when using social media. It is time to share our stories and tell the truth. Even if it hurts.

John 8:31-32 "So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, 'If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free'."

"God is Love" by Yongsung Kim

[queen-of-confusion13]

Are they really taking our jobs and homes?

I hear this a lot, and I also hear that we don't have enough workers to staff our restaurants, etc. So, I don't think taking our jobs is a problem because we don't want that kind of work apparently. However, some people listen to the rhetoric without question and people commit violent hate crimes because of it.

This lady purposely ran down a 14 year old hispanic girl on just because of her ethnicity. She tried to kill two hispanic people that day. Because they are taking our jobs and homes. Maybe we would be better off if they take our cars, too.

We absolutely need immigration reform and secure borders. It would be nice to see people come together with good ideas and an attitude of cooperation that will allow compromises so we can get solutions.

Please stop the hate speech. We are all God's children. All of us.

[queen-of-confusion13]

Saying "I love you" with a puzzle

The inspiration for this project comes from an Advent Calendar puzzle made by Karen Puzzles on youtube. She is awesome!

Clementoni Disney Gala puzzle. Over 6000 pieces.

I bought this puzzle for my mother-in-law Betty with the money she gave me from her husband. He passed away and she said to take the money and buy something he would buy. So, I decided that a Disney puzzle would be great to give her for her 80th birthday. The idea was to take a puzzle from him and put a personal touch on it and give her 80 days of happy puzzling filled with love. They are the best grandparents to my kids. They even went to Florida with us and spent 10 days at Disney World. They are game on. My mom never got to see my kids, but I am quite sure she hand picked my husband for me knowing that Betty would fulfill her only regret. The chance to be a grandma to her kids like my mom's was to her. Betty is love, plain and simple.

Step 1. Choose a puzzle the right size that has significance and that would be fun to make.

So easy, right? I had watched Karen do a lot of puzzle reviews on her channel, so I knew what to look for. I tried to search for a Disney party puzzle and this is what I found that would work, but there weren't any reviews out there about making it that I could find. The brand name didn't ring a bell. My favorite all time puzzles are made by Springbok. My friend Ben said that they have good pictures, uniquely shaped pieces, and they hold together so blocks of them can be easily moved. I knew what I wanted and rolled the dice that it would be the one.

How wrong can a person be? I was that wrong. If you take a good look at the picture there is way too much white, black, and gold and the pieces are small enough that they could be in any of the spots with those colors. The pieces would fit in the wrong place easily. So many times I didn't know I had the wrong piece until it's missing spot called out for it. And if you get 4 pieces fitted together it is almost impossible to pick them up without falling apart. I finally figured out how to move a strip by pulling outward on the two ends to create tension and they would hold.

I wanted to make a big statement of how much I love Betty, so it had to be a big puzzle. I think it measured 4.5 by 5 feet. It took nine foam boards to fit the entire puzzle, so it was assembled on 9 separate boards and put together at the end.

Where do you start on a puzzle like that? Edges. And sort the pieces. The only problem was that the puzzle was so big and the characters had to many similarities that it was really hard to sort. A pile of one color of pieces would actually be scattered across the entire puzzle. The good thing was the band with the striped coats. That was a starting point. I found out by the end of the puzzle that the color of confetti differs on the right and left sides, so that helped. It was the saving grace of the entire puzzle. Otherwise, it was a slow, piece by piece detective story.

By looking at the picture (no it is not cheating Grandma Bessie) and searching for the exact spot in the picture that each piece came from I was able to assemble it. The characters got different names and I would find who it belonged to and sort accordingly. It was easiest to spot out a few pieces, put them on a paper labeled with the name assigned to the character in my attempt to bring order to the madness, and assemble a few at a time. They could be on any of the 9 boards, so it was a constant shuffling of boards with puzzles on them to get them "home". Yes, this did take months. All day. Every dayNo, I didn't have anything else going on at all. This was my life and I had a deadline.

Step 2. Design the puzzle in a puzzle.

My husband was the star of the project. He had to have gamma knife surgery to kill a brain tumor, so the ride up to Mayo Clinic was spent trying to figure out the secondary image. We wanted to break the puzzle into meaningful pieces. Keily Rodni had just gone missing, so this was a time I will always remember. Searching the cars on the highway for her license plate and praying she would be found soon and making a layout for the puzzle in a puzzle.

I got an idea of the direction we needed to go, and my husband, with the patience of a saint, used all his spreadsheet skills to map it out. We created code talk like "pop that heart". We worked together to create 80 different sections of puzzle that could be made in order, one day at a time. In the picture there are the words "happy birthday Betty" and "love" was on there twice. And there were 80 hearts. It was a positive/negative approach. Some hearts were created using pieces, and other hearts were made by using the empty space. If you are wondering how we did it all I can say is that my father-in-law was in charge, and Betty was the best thing that ever happened to him, so love in abundance along with angels helping was the key.

This is the master puzzle map we ended up with. Each piece is given a number between 1 to 80 according to which day they would be placed, and the puzzle had to be disassembled perfectly. There was a chance that this project was too complicated and wouldn't be any fun to complete, and that would be torture for her.

Step 3. Disassemble the puzzle according to the master map.

All nine poster boards were pieced together and the completed puzzle was then disassembled one number at a time. An outline was made around each day's parts as they were removed and labeled with that day's number. We showed her where it started on day one. The line under "Betty" and the upright of the middle T. The puzzle created new shapes every day. Every piece attached to an already existing piece except for when we jumped to the border. Otherwise there was a specific spot those next pieces would fit.

All the pieces were put in baggies labeled from 1 to 80 put in the puzzle box lined up nicely, and we gave her the giant board with the 80 days outlined on it. No, this wasn't cheating either Grandma Bessie. After her party she started assembling it. It was going to be fun to see it come together and I sure hoped that she would enjoy it. This was the biggest love message I had ever given her...besides the grandkids. And the proof of divine guidance over this project was completely confirmed when there was not a single piece missing in spite of being handled and dropped upteen times.

I love you Betty and I am so glad you are my kid's grandma.

[queen-of-confusion13]

Instant coffee

My husband didn't have the dregs of yesterday's coffee to warm up this morning, so he made a cup of instant. My parents used to drink it. Mom had a whistling teapot on the stove many times a day to get a cup of java. I saw how my dad got coffee at work. He went into the lab area, turned on the hot water in the sink and let it run until it was warm. Then he made a cup of instant coffee with the tap water, drank it down at once, and went on with his day. Super yuck.

They had instant coffee when I was a kid, but before that they had coffee percolators. Kind of like a Mr. Coffee, but instead of just running the water through once after it is heated up it circulates in the pot with a bubbling, gurgling sound recycling the water through the grounds until every last bit of flavor was extracted. It was a long process, so instant coffee must have been like a miracle drink.

My grandparents used to go to the mall that was very close to our house. My grandpa would always be sitting there with all the other old men on the benches in the middle while their wives were off shopping. The husbands sat there so they could watch all the bags and their wives could easily find them. The mall was within easy walking distance across a wild field that looked like a nature preserve. A neighbor used to regularly go pheasant hunting in it. We would go to the mall with our allowance. Every week I would get my quarter and pay my sister back the quarter I owed her from last week, and then inevitably borrow it again. She missed out on a lot of interest, but it made me hate being in debt, so it worked out in the end.

One day my grandparents were Christmas shopping in the mall, and they asked me if there was anything my mom wanted or could use. That instant coffee came to mind and Mr. Coffee was invented when I was 10 years old, so I thought maybe she would like regular coffee without having to drag out the company percolulator. I thought it was a great idea, but my mom just about clobbered me for suggesting it because of the expense. The new stuff is always highly priced until all the competition drives the price down. But, she got it, and the new fangled cross between time-saving and full flavor brew cycles was created.

It is interesting how the old-fashioned stuff is replaced with new modern stuff. Then the next generation comes along and discovers "new" vintage stuff that rocks their world and wonder if the old people know about it. Ever had a kid tell you about a new band they discovered whose album wore out the needle on your record player 40 years ago?

It all depends on your perspective and that has a lot to do with age. Growing old is interesting. New inventions and technologies are coming at an exponential rate, and AI (artificial intelligence) is just increasing that speed. It is impossible to stay up to date on everything as this world is constantly getting more complicated. "The good old days" when you knew the "game" and could play comfortably are gone. Now everything is stressed filled and manic, and the fakes and clones are rampant. It is almost impossible to know what the truth is. There are pros and cons to these inventions. Many miraculous healings have been afforded by the advance in the medical field. Yet, the detriment to society can be clearly seen in the evil that has been afforded with the instant information available on the internet.

My dad knew I love math, so he got me a tiny calculator when they were new. It had the basic 4 functions and an equals button. Plus, minus, multiply, divide, total, and a memory button. That's all you needed to advance from that big honking calculating machine that sat on my grandpa's desk in his basement to a miracle in instant computing. And now we walk around with an entire computer in our pocket, or more likely in the hand. If my mom could see my phone today she wouldn't even know what it is.

Along with the advances has come real safety issues. I recently was communicating with some hackers who run NewsMax. It came to my attention that I was being observed. They could see what I was doing and hear what I was saying. I saw stuff like that on tv before, but never figured it would happen to me. My discomfort of a horrible picture being out there on the internet was alleviated somewhat by the comments I had already heard about my appearance by some really rude people. My best advice to you is physically cover any lens that is on any device in your home. And disable the microphones. These are hackers, so even that is not enough, but it will help somewhat. The only way to stop them is to disconnect your internet when you aren't using it. Like that ever happens.

I don't like cameras that can have a photo sent worldwide in a nanosecond. All those old first photos that were taken by a guy on a ladder under a blanket saying to stay still the entire time while taking the photograph are gone. No longer do you have to turn in negatives to get copies of a picture to share. I am kind of glad that the worst picture of my life is out there. People can share and talk about it all they want. Without even having to pick up a pen and paper to contact those far away. I can't say that this is an improvement in my life, but that's the scene today.

However, there is a positive note. Acceptance of reality isn't easy. My reality is that in order to preserve relationships in the past few years, the ability to discuss dangers to our nation were prohibited. Not being able to discuss politics and then watching J6 caused a discord in my mind. Giving up freedom of speech voluntarily just to be accepted is why that horrible picture is good. Politics is a divisive topic. There needs to be a mutual yearning to seek truth. Even if people stand on seperate sides of an issue, it can still be discussed in a civil manner with mutual respect. First you have to seek and acknowledge the truth of the situation, then you can discuss positions and solutions. Refusing to see the truth will shut down communication and destroy relationships.

I wonder if this is how people were when Hitler was rising to power. More worried about a happy, carefree life in a post WWI era where only the positive thoughts could be discussed. What happened to the people who were aware of the impending Holocaust and whose hearts were screaming for others to open their eyes to Hitler's evil ways? I bet they were told not to talk about politics. How many times did they get silenced just to hear people say later that they never had a clue what was coming? Because they chose to close their eyes. Six million Jews killed. I bet people were silenced all the while Hitler rose in power. They probably looked like my horrible picture in their own way. This is a good reminder for me to be true to myself and not allow myself to be silenced. I will never force political talk as it is fruitless and will cause harm. However watching evil grow hurts. And those who are strong enough see it in real time and to seek the truth should not be concerned by those who stifle them. They just need to find like minded people so they don't feel so isolated, abandoned, and hopeless. That is a recipe for misery. It is just like instant coffee with a shot of guilt thrown in. Yuck!

I made mocha mint coffee this morning in the knock off Mr. Coffee. our daughter gave us. Things have come full circle. It is a good balance between flavor, technology, time, and expense while providing a cup of coffee I like. No sugar or cream. Just black. A little reality with some flavor diversion. The only other flavor I like is double mocha. Full on plain coffee is bitter and horrible. I guess that's what people feel about politics. This may be the dawn of a new understanding.

Lord, thank you for opening my eyes to the good lessons that come from difficulties. Romans 8:28 is one of my favorite verses. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Just don't give up.

Hmmmm, I wonder if they were told not to discuss politics or religion before Jesus was crucified....I need a pause button for my mind. Time for that coffee ;)

[queen-of-confusion13]

"NO"

Youtube Music channel "Shiny, happy pick-me-ups". That is my choice for the start of my day after an almost sleepless night. I feel like I let my counselor down by not standing my ground. During one therapy session he told me I could say no if something wasn't right for me and I asked him if he could give me a doctors note. He turned to his desk and took a tiny note pad and wrote "NO", tore off the page and handed it to me for a life-long actual doctor's note to say no to the things I am not comfortable doing. And last night I let myself down, again. Pleasing others and causing misery to myself.

There will be the worst picture of me ever circulating the internet soon, and that is what I was thinking while I posed. I will probably find myself as a meme. I gave up. I look like I gave up. I don't like going out at all, and I don't look in the mirror anymore because I don't like what I see. Covid is still out there and I hate going to restaurants with a passion, but I made an exception last night for a dear aunt. I changed my no to a yes mid-day and chose to show up. I was very uncomfortable for a number of reasons and luckily had to leave early since my husband had to get to his prayer group.

Before I could get out of the restaurant I was trapped behind others and couldn't get past. People were asking for me to be in a picture. I didn't want to be in it. Not because of any other reason than I am uncomfortable with myself. I pushed my comfort zone entirely just attending. There were two other siblings who didn't show, so it wouldn't have mattered if I wasn't in the picture. I allowed myself to be coerced into a photo that I dread seeing. It would have been great to see the photo if I wasn't in it. I don't need anybody to offer me any reassurances or positive self-love advice. I didn't want to do something, and my people pleaser side trumped what I knew was best for me.

What if it is the last picture that is ever taken of me and my aunt? She said it was probably going to be her last time to come out this way. I don't want to see it passed around as a last great memory. The meal was okay. I kept my mouth shut and stayed out of trouble. Not sticking with "no means no" wasn't a loving thing to do for myself. So, it sure won't look like a loving photo. Give away your voice and power and see what happens.

I didn't want to discuss politics, but when I told my aunt I have a blog and it has political stuff she said she won't talk about politics because it can cause trouble. One of the reasons for my nervous breakdown after J6 was because I allowed myself to be silenced. I watched Trump, a sexual predator, traitor, tax cheating liar cause this country to be divided like it has never been before. And I wasn't allowed to say his name. God forbid anybody would actually open their eyes and see what he was doing. I was the problem. My voice was the problem. My thoughts were the problem. Nobody has to listen to me, but if you tell me I am not allowed to say our democracy is in trouble when the nation is falling apart you are not a patriot and you are denying me my constitutional rights. You are part of the problem. You are why the first amendment was written. I would give my life to save my country, but silencing me is like shoving me in my grave while I am still alive. No excuses. I love my aunt, but it is people who will not allow the truth to be exposed who will be the end of our democracy. This is not a drill. This is not a test. Wake up America.

And, hey Trump, no means no. If I ever see you grabbing a woman by the pussy without her permission I hope I am there to make sure I can still do a taekwondo kicks. How can anyone have voted for an admitted sexual predator? Why was he ever voted into office? Do we not have any rights? I am really mad and very grateful I can get this off my chest because I don't want it in me. Don't tell me to shut up unless I give up my citizenship to escape the inevitable barrage of bullets from the next mass shooter. I don't have to listen to you either, but I won't tell you not to speak. I am sure that i am the problem. I am sure that the gossip about me is going strong. Just throw another scoop of dirt on my grave. That is not love.

Now line up and smile.

[queen-of-confusion13]

Me an honorary producer? The Meidas Touch Network

The search for truth has exposed what a farce most of the media is today. It used to be just spin, but now it is outright dishonesty and knowingly spreading false conspiracy theories, etc. Just look at the evidence. The settlement that Fox did with Dominion was because they didn't even want the "tapes" to be played anymore than they already were. You can listen to all the evidence for yourself. Fox outright lied and they knew it. The election was not stolen. You cannot trust right wing media. And, you cannot trust left wing media. They are just as bad in their leanings. Know the source and know the lean. And always verify and do your own research.

Even independent media has it's problems. Much truth is exposed with evidence, but the fingernails can have very misleading titles or the shows may poke fun at things they have been covering for so long that they are just fed up with the lies and hypocrisy. I do not like it when people start using their voice to imitate their subjects. It might be considered funny to some, but to me it just seems like mean, bullying behavior. I get it. Sometimes you just have to laugh. Just keep it classy.

That being said, I have discovered The Meidas Touch Network. They are far from perfect, take what you want and leave the rest. However I have found them to have one of the most detailed analysis of court cases and knowledge of the law that is available today. They are on several platforms and have podcasts and their audience has exploded since I first found them. They are the fastest growing independent media source today.

Meidas Touch has rapid response breakdowns of the most talked about moments in politics and law from experts with years of experience in the legal system. They help me understand what the rulings mean and what the truth is according to the law and order of the constitution of the United States of America. They are pro democracy. The desire is for the truth to be known. They are Independents, not democrats or republicans. I can count on them to tell me what it going on and know that it is most accurate information available today in a timely manner as far as I am concerned.

Yes, I did pay a whole year's worth of honorary producer fees to support them on Patreon. And my name is on the list out there for the world to see. Because I believe in them. Fox and CNN are completely untethered at this time. We NEED the truth. America must take a hard look at what we have become. I am experiencing fear by outing myself. Why? Because people are crazy.

Hammers to the head, more than one mass shooting a day, Congressmen's office staff attacked just because of who they work for. America has become it's worst enemy. White supremacists are the biggest terrorist threat we have today. We are killing ourselves faster than any of our foreign adversaries could do. All mass shootings in 2022 were committed by radical white extremists. The white man with an automatic weapon is the one we have to fear. However, right wing media will tell you that it is the LGBTQ community and refugees that are causing the destruction of America. Don't believe them. They are trying to distract you.

Meidas Touch....gotta love the three brothers who are so pro-democracy. Thanks to all the Meidas Touch Network, and a shout out the Meidas Mighty!!

#meidastouchnetwork

[queen-of-confusion13]

Why do I always find trouble?

As always. everything in this post is IMO.

The search for truth sometimes gives you more than expected. Such was my summer of 2022. Fox had quit live Trump rally broadcasts because he was so unpredictable. He's about as stable as a gang of monkeys at the zoo with THE button just tapping away entering numbers until they come up with the launch codes for WW3. So, I keep my eyes on him. Or at least I did.

David Pakman carried live rallies, but I wanted something where the speech could be heard uninterrupted. So I did searches to find a Trump rally being live streamed. That's how I discovered RSBN (Right Side Broadcasting Network) and NEWSMAX. And they had chats like David did. The only chat I was ever in before was in a game, and that is a story in inself, but that's how I connected to the leader of the NEWSMAX. I had known him for a couple years. He loves Jesus, just like I do.

Trump rallies were sponsored by Mike Lindell and he along with a lot of MAGA politicians would be there for hours before the main event was scheduled. RSBN would carry pre-rally coverage and get a lot of people interviewed, but it was the anchors who caught my attention.

RSBN has a chat, and that chat is extremely pro-Trump. I started to share the information that I had about Trump in the chat to try to enlighten others to the truth as I know it to be. The anchors said there was a "troll' in the chat. I figured it had to be me since I was the only voice that had a differing opinion. Lot's of salt shaker emojis came my way, I suppose maybe like killing a slug? Who knows. I'm to old to know about trolls, clones, bots, and all that doo doo. Alas, I have been educated a bit now.

The fact that they were aware of the chat content was quite interesting. Father Frank Pavone was doing some religious programming at RSBN and it was all pro Trump. I found out that he had been defrocked. And yet he continues to use Jesus when he claims to be spreading the gospel and faith and instead spreads lies all the time. I started commenting on Pavone's live stream chats. One time they actually changed the thumbnail for a video because of my comment in the preshow chat. I said that the picture of Trump they were using with a very ferocious pose didn't match the message of peace the words promoted or something like that, and they axed my comment and changed the thumbnail immediately. RSBN finally banned me from their chats. No freedom of speech. The only danger i posed was in exposing the truth.

I am really tired of people lying to good trusting people and taking advantage of them. This is exactly what Hitler did. Some Nazi's were horrid, evil monsters, but many followed him and believed the lies that the Jews caused all the problems and were being rounded up and sent to camp where a job and housing awaited them. They would all be together there. For their benefit.

Really good people think others are good too, so they tend to be more trusting. Whereas really evil people assume everyone else is like them. They don't believe people really are good but instead are wearing a mask like they do. It is the division. And it seems like "they" are trying to divide our country. Saying the word "god" and claiming righteousness works to fool a lot of people. And telling lies about the other side incites feelings of hate. It works very well. How to make a country go to into civil war 101.

I can have all the opinions I want in the blog, and it may only be read by my uncle or by anybody else, but the people i wanted to talk to were the ones who still believed in Trump. Even against all evidence. I figure half are fooled by him, and the other half are somehow have a vested interest. It may be money, but it may be the destruction of the USA. I am trying to reach the good people who were taken advantage of and used and grifted for hundreds of millions of dollars. He lied to you. I am sorry. The reason I was chatting on the channels was to try to figure out how to talk to those I was closest to before the escalator descent into hell. (2015 Trump announcement).

I want my people back. And I want them to know the truth. There is an effort to get the USA into a civil war and it is being led by MAGA. Trump is the leader for the GOP 2024 nomination.

Search out the truth. If not now, then when?

Wake up AMERICA!!

The cause for wanting a civil was comes from many different directions.

Some are angry at the alphabet soup mix of gov't agencies. The FBI and Waco siege was a really a horrible thing and watching the buildings burn on live tv knowing that there were children in them left a mark on my heart in 1993. Then in 1995 Timothy McVeigh paid back the debt with the Oklahoma City bombing. Being pregnant with my first child and seeing the photo of the fireman carrying the dead toddler so gently out of the rubble of the day care shredded any sense of safety i thought day cares could bring.

I can understand people's anger and frustration at government. Just the corruption discovered regarding J6 was appalling. And it continues. We must demand better from our govt agencies. We must know who we are voting for and what the represent, not the smoke and mirror images that a reality star gets to put forth.

The way to change things is at the ballot box. If you cannot stand to listen to politicians speaking, then you need to listen anyway. Figure out which ones you don't like and why. Is their personality, or their stand on the issues. Where did you get your information from, because we have seen that all media leans. ALL OF IT. You just must learn the lean. Get your info from multiple sources. And if somebody has a different view it would be good for both of you to work together to try to discover the truth. Know your elected officials, and if you are at all interested please run. There are some really crazy people out there right now that need to be voted out of office.

[queen-of-confusion13]

Rabbit Holes

Wow, hello again blog.

This is going to be harder that I thought to get started, but here goes.

If you want to take over the strongest nation in the world it would be much easier to pick up the remains after it has a civil war than to try to take it on while the citizenship is unified against a foreign enemy.

9/11/2001 is proof of how a country can pull together when it is attacked. American flags out everywhere in a sign of unity.

Dividing the country first and having them be their own enemy makes them much easier to defeat. Using any thing at all that makes a person feel victimized will work. It becomes a justice issue and that fires up people immediately. There are two sides to every story and the truth usually lies in the middle. Establishing the divide is what matters. Us against them.

The issues that people come together to fight can be used to create a huge political divide turning the main focus towards the political leaders as the cause. It turns into an entirely different fight where the original causes can almost be disregarded as long as they are in a common fight against a political enemy. And people are not expected to seek the truth, but rather to accept what is fed to them. And not to voice other opinions.

Using trusted news outlets to spread lies and half-truths has worked wonders. Fox news just settled with Dominion for $878.5 million dollars rather that have the details dragged through the courts where people might actually see and hear evidence. Lawyers, politicians, news stars....in their own words. Not deep fakes. Do your own research always. Get your facts from a wide variety of sources,

side note... Meidas Touch is a good independent news channel that has accurate information, as well as Young Turks, and many others. You don't have to agree with everything they say to glean bits of truth.

The recordings are out there to be heard and the transcripts read by anyone and everyone. They are clear and condemning not just of Fox News, but of so many more. This campaign to divide us goes beyond Fox News and Tucker Carlson (yuck). It was designed long ago, and all it needed was to put a believable reality superstar out there for a leader. And somehow Donald Trump came on our tv every week making brilliant reality star decisions. And some bought it.

In my quest for truth I encountered Newsmax and their chat. And it was very divided. One side was clearly MAGA, and the other was democratic. They were arguing back and forth and was really very hard to follow, but somehow it was seemed surprisingly familiar. Life is full of chaos.

And the most familiar thing of all was the apparent leaders name. i had never heard that name used by anyone else.....except me.

[queen-of-confusion13]

The Holocaust - J6 connection

Steven Speilberg made a movie called Shindler's List. It documented the story of a man named Oskar Schindler who had a voracious appetite for loose women, money, alcohol, etc. He found himself ripe with opportunity during WWII to make a profit from the needs of the German army. He opened a factory and employed Jews. They were cheap labor sent over from the ghetto where all the Jews were forced to live...while they were allowed to live.

There was a woman named Helen Hirsch in the story who was chosen from a prisoner line-up to be the maid for a monster named Amon Goeth. The movie was really intense and tried it's best to accurately portray the events of the time. Helen survived and was there as a consultant while the movie filmed her portion of the story so she could give input for accuracy.

Helen talked to Steven and said that she wanted to tell her story. He said that's what they were doing, and she said that she wanted to tell her WHOLE story, not just a bit of it. That was a huge ask during the middle of the production of a massive movie and it had to wait. And God bless Steven Speilberg, he helped do it after the movie was finished.

Speilberg set up the Shoah Foundation at USC. It is a nonprofit organization dedicated to making audio-visual interviews with survivors and witnesses of the Holocaust (which in Hebrew is called the Shoah) and other genocides. He sent out people to interview Holocaust survivors and allow them to tell their stories while there was still time to capture them. There are more than 3,000 testimonials preserved for eternity so the atrocities committed to them will never be forgotten.

J6 sent me down a rabbit hole of evil. It was almost incomprehensible that my fellow citizens looked like ants swarming a piece of candy from a long camera shot. They were crawling up the exterior walls like monkeys in a zoo. From a distance it looked like they were just a massive bunch of teeny, tiny moving parts trying to devour the Capitol, heaving and churning all over it trying to break it down. The only defense was a bunch of public servants - cops who were ambushed and beaten with the same USA flags that caused so much controversy about respect and patiotism at football games. These thugs were monsters, not caring anything about the human beings they were trying to destroy. They were sent by the president. It made no sense at all and following a trail of evil helped me realize the depths of depravity that humans are capable of committing to each other.

It was always my thought that people are fundamentally good. We all are created with freedom of thought and action. Of course, there were stories of particularly heinous crimes and groups of evil doers that I heard about over the years, but the enormity of evil that can exist in the hearts of humans was beyond my comprehension. It was almost unbelievable, until I remembered that 1/3 of the angels fell. They chose to follow Satan instead of God. That was a free will choice. Everyone is born with the potential for both good and bad. We all have a bit of both in us, and it is never too late to decide to turn your life around and take a better path. However, the reality is that a massive portion of the human population will choose evil. It is the truth of life. Automatically giving people the benefit of the doubt sets you up to be a victim a lot of the time, because somehow you are marked as a target. And predators will find you. J6 took me directly to the Holocaust and discovery of the human condition like I had never known or accepted before. It has taken a year of research to come out of the deep darkness I found myself in.

Nazi demonstrations are happening in this country now. It is very uncomfortable to confront these issues. However, if we don't address it then we are allowing them to silence us, and the evil power will grow. My brother told me once that absolute power will corrupt absolutely. He had a good point.

[queen-of-confusion13]

Election Integrity Matters To Everybody

IMO - In My Opinion, as always

There is one thing that seems to be a top priority for people of all political persuasions. Election integrity. Nobody wants cheating. It has never happened on a large scale, and there were "eyes" all over the 2020 election. There has not been any proof given for all the claims thrown around, and a few lawyers are in big trouble for bringing obviously fraudulent cases of cheating accusations to court. Not one judge across the country found any merit in them. The tampering that was done was on social media affecting people's heads. The effect was huge. Russian hacks were paid to post stuff to drive to people apart. That started before the 2016 election, and that problem needs to be addressed. different blog, different time

Being an election judge allowed me a lot of insight into a system that most people never get. It would be impossible to "rig" the system since elections are done down to a very granular level. It comes down to neighbors working the polls and they are usually old people like me.

The ballots are different everywhere since they include races down to the local level. They are counted before the day starts, and at the end of the day. And the ballot counts must be verified every hour. The machines and the voter log counts must match up. Every single ballot must be accounted for, even if it is spoiled. All numbers must line up. There is a process and training for all of it, and swearing in and oaths taken. The ballots are ALWAYS in the possession of at least two people from different parties while they are transported back to the center. There is not a break in the chain of possession.

The states are all different too. They all run things their own way. They use different forms to report their certifications to congress. Somebody who has paid attention to the beautiful diversity of the system caught the fake documents that someone tried to submit for the 2020 election. They tried to cheat in Trumps direction, not Bidens. There is a big story there - Mike Pence saved the nation. He changed the wording in the opening of the joint session on J6 with extra parameters to stop those faux documents from being used. Unfortunately he is paying for it now.

The election laws were changed in 2020 due to the pandemic - not for political reasons. Covid sucks. RIP Aunt Judy. It is awesome that every legal voter gets to make their mark on history once each election, and that all votes are completely equal. That is one thing we got right.

I got a letter asking me to give my availability for the next couple of years on election days. They are hurting for judges and it is probably a national problem after all the death threats, etc. that workers at all levels have received. Security costs for our elections are going to go way up, but it is an absolutely vital role unless we go to strictly mail in ballots.

I feel confident about the security that will be provided since the FBI is already involved in GA, NY, and DC due to the call for violence during the 1/29/22 rally. That is where the investigations into Trump are active, and those are the states he mentioned in his speech. It will be worth every penny spent to protect poll workers all across America. Please consider signing up. It is up to everybody to make sure we can still vote and keep this experiment going.

[queen-of-confusion13]

Trump called for civil war

In case you missed the rally last Saturday, it was extremely dangerous. Here is an analysis clip of one especially dangerous bit of rhetoric. Don't let his title for the video throw you.

https://youtu.be/VVbYTBWrq5Y

Do you know who didn't miss his message? Those people who beat the hell out of the cops on J6. And the people who financed the attack. The cost of bullets has gone up due to high demand. Who is stockpiling them and why? You may think I am being an extremist, but I saw and heard J6 coming. They listen to him. That is why I listen to him. And, he just called them to inevitable war.

Please check this out for yourself. Don't take my word for it. There are a lot of "patriots' who want to "save America", and they don't care who they kill along the way. If you support Trump please know EVERYTHING about him you are supporting, not just his policies and agenda. Trump is the greatest American terrorist that has ever existed....like you have never seen before.

[queen-of-confusion13]

WATCH TRUMP LIVE TONIGHT!! 1/29/22

Love him or hate him it is a really good thing to always keep an eye on everything Donald Trump.  David Pakman continues to broadcast Trumps rallies.  He is definitely not pro-Trump, but it is almost impossible to find live coverage anywhere else. Trump is LIVE FROM TEXAS tonight and you can watch it on this Youtube link: 

https://youtu.be/rvDq4uh268E

IMO - In My Opinion, as always

One of my best friends has always been a big supporter of Trump.  When he said something that was completely absurd, I pointed it out and she repeated what he had said.  He was the president, and he knew things we did not. She trusted him.

Trump qualified for national security intelligence briefings when he became president elect.  He would be whisked from Trump Tower in a motorcade to go to a secure location for daily updates on the most dynamic and dangerous situations in the world.  Trump said those briefings were boring and repeated the same information every day, so he quit going. His national security briefings got down to a single page of bullet points.  Maybe he was a stable genius and that’s all he needed.  My beautiful friend believed him.

I hardly took my eyes off Trump ever since his escalator descent.  It was almost an obsession because there was no trust.  Reading almost every tweet and watching every appearance including chopper talks was my norm.  It is very doubtful and any pro-Trumper was as attentive.  Most people just got sound bites from the news and whatever spin they desired was easy to create.

Here is a challenge to Trump supporters. Really listen to his rally. What agenda does he have to address the issues of the day?  Does he just use the appearance like a WWF fight to get people mad and pumped up against their enemy?  Who is the enemy?  Knocking the current administration when Russia is playing games on the Ukraine border won’t help anyone. What positive actions does he list to help alleviate the tensions both around the world and in the nation?  Moving us forward in this time of insanity is what we need. 

Kudos to Trump for telling people to get the vaccine.  He did a great job investing our money in the drug companies to get the vaccine produced as fast as possible.  Normally the vax would have to be proven effective before large-scale production would start and that takes time. “Warp Speed” allowed companies to start making the most promising vaccines without waiting.  The gamble was with our tax dollars.  If one didn’t work then our was money wasted, but it was a really smart move considering pandemics won’t wait.  People who say it was produced too quickly don’t understand that the “platform” used for the vaccines had been years in the development.  There were no shortcuts taken. Just a risky financial investment that paid off.  Hopefully he will continue to tell the truth of the vaccine tonight and encourage people to get it even if they boo him. 

Don Trump Jr was really interesting on his last FOX appearance.  He said that the problems on the Ukraine border were all a smokescreen to deter people from seeing what a horrible job Biden has done as president.  Apparently, Hunter is still a hot topic for him and everything “Russia” is all meant to distract us.  It is amazing to hear that Biden is creating all these problems abroad just so we don’t look at ourselves.  And it is amazing that all the other countries and NATO and Russia are all cooperating with him just to cover up his ineptitude.  And it is also amazing that the only time I hear “Hunter” is from a Trump.  Wouldn’t it be ironic if the Trumps were actually trying to take the focus off the daily updates on the investigation into J6 and all the financial crimes of the Trump dynasty.  

Donald Trump has thankfully been wrong about a couple of things.  The stock market didn’t tank when Biden took office.  It is higher now than it ever was under Trump, and yet Joe doesn’t take daily credit.  It turns out that Covid-19 is not a hoax and all schools and businesses didn’t magically open the day after the 2020 election.  The democrats were not lying just to try to win an election.  “Fake news” is an interesting term in this day of constant purposeful misdirection, but you can’t always trust the source that is using that term.  Do your own research.

If you are a Donald Trump fan please really take the time to watch and listen to him.  Tearing down others and bullying people is not a way to move things forward.  It is a way to hold everyone back.  It doesn’t help solve problems.  It only gives people permission to act out in a bad way.

[queen-of-confusion13]

TRUTH: a delicious lesson

What is for dessert?  One person says, “golden sponge cake” and the other says, “creamy filling”.  The truth is in the Twinkie.  The question is: are you willing to put aside your bias and try to taste things that titillate somebody else’s palette for a change?  You can’t really know a Twinkie until you try it.  

We have been watching old tv shows on YouTube, and the Reese’s Peanut Butter cup commercial from the 70′s came on.  My husband noted that it was weird that a woman was walking down the street eating peanut butter out of the jar.  The guy around the corner from her was walking with a big chocolate bar sticking out in front of him.  They collide and she gets peanut butter on his chocolate he gets chocolate in her peanut butter, and a really weird guy pops up right behind them with Reese’s PB cups.  Yeah, that dude is creepy once I look back and can rewind, etc.  Those old things are hilarious.

Try another flavor.  It probably has something good to offer. How can you really know what it tastes like if you won’t try it? It might be good to read the ingredients, too.  Not to find things that you hate, but things that you like and can agree are good together.  

We can learn a lot of lessons from junk food.

[queen-of-confusion13]

NEWS: Real or Fake? How to find the truth

IMO - In My Opinion, as always

A mass communications class lesson from college came in handy when the term “fake news” surfaced.  Who do you believe? The truth is like a coin.  You have two different sides, but the truth lies between those two surfaces.  Somewhere in the middle.  It cannot be both heads and tails at the same time.  They have to stay together or they are worthless.

Watching government in action can be slower and less exciting than watching paint dry, but it is the only way to find out the truth.  There are an amazing amount of politicians who are looking for a sound bite to feed to their constituents.  They attack people who are just trying to do their job.  It makes the attackers look like morons if you watch the whole thing.  God bless all the public servants who continue to try to do their job to the best of their ability despite the unprovoked attacks.

I would watch the live hearings on CSPAN and compare different reporting to see if the facts were accurately represented or if sound bites were just used for spin.  That time was well spent.  It is completely obvious that media is biased and will straight out lie to you to get ratings, draw in viewers, and get people ramped up. It is part of freedom of the press and a free market. Humans make mistakes, but these lies had to be intentional.  Fake news is like cubic zirconia.  Pretty much worthless except if it is able to pretend to be the real thing.  And then people are really getting robbed.

It is important to get facts and information from multiple sources because everything tilts one way or the other and you need to be aware of credibility and bias. It is hard to accept that things may not be the way you thought.  This kind of deceiving practice was used in Germany to make people believe that Hitler was a good guy and the Jewish people were just being relocated to nice camps.  They completely lied and fooled a lot of really good people into supporting Hitler.  I cannot imagine how badly those trusting individuals felt when they learned the truth.  Certainly, there were very bad people involved, but what happens to John Q. Public when somebody decides to become a monster and put themselves above the rest of humanity is abominable.  They use and discard people and take advantage of others at every opportunity.  Good people are stoked to make them feel like they are supporting a good cause when in reality it is a regime that actually invented death factories because killing one person at a time took too long.  They needed the bullets for the front - to kill those who knew the truth and were trying to stop them.  

It is easy to feel attacked if somebody is trying to point out a different view.  Instead of getting defensive, go investigate together and find out the true facts.  Then respect each other and agree to disagree if you can’t reconcile the differences.  We need to work together to keep this country together.  Only people who want our society destroyed will present false information as facts and try to drive us apart.  Just say no to faux.  And be nice.

[queen-of-confusion13]

A year ago I could hardly communicate because of a horrible nervous breakdown over the attempted coup.  I started messaging everyone I could because I knew suicides were imminent. I was safe, but others were not and I was trying to get some help and attention to those who couldn’t reach out.  People were talking about me.  They were contacting family members saying they were concerned.  What I really needed was for people to actually come to me and let me share.  Nobody could understand what I was feeling.  Being allowed to talk was the only thing that helped.  I needed some people to quit talking about me and come and “waste” some time and find out from ME what was going on.  I found this awesome song and really needed people to hear the message in the song.

When somebody sends you a link because they want you to hear or see something there are many ways you can find out what it is they want to share.  You can pick your own method of discovering the content.  You don’t have to open that particular link.  Excuses about why you won’t open the link due to security concerns do nothing towards understanding what the person is trying to communicate.  I couldn’t hardly push a share button.  Maybe I shouldn’t have even been trying to communicate.  My first amendment right to freedom of speech had been taken away if I wanted to be in a relationship with some people.  It was a very confusing time.  And people were dying.

[queen-of-confusion13]

Abortion rights, right?

IMO - In My Opinion, as always

Abortion is one of those subjects that seems to cause polarization immediately.  The March for Life 2022 is in Washington DC right now.  I fully respect their right to peacefully protest against abortion. And I support the women’s marches, too.  Women’s rights should not be trampled upon.  No one’s rights should be trampled.  Not even a baby’s rights.  Abortion sucks.  It means that somebody’s world is not spinning well.

Abortion kills the baby and hurts the mother.  It is not a natural process.  A woman’s body must somehow be manipulated either physically or chemically to have an abortion.  Pregnancies are all too easy to terminate.  Ask anyone who has struggled valiantly to stay pregnant only to lose the baby in the end.  Infertility is awful.  So is getting pregnant when you are not ready to be a parent.  The whole problem comes down to helping a woman who doesn’t want to become pregnant NOT get pregnant.  And to help those who do accidently get pregnant to receive the medical care they need to be healthy so some family who is missing a child can adopt and be complete.

When the sperm penetrates the egg a brand new person, unique to all the world, was just created.  All it needs is time, nutrition, and a survivable environment.  Nobody sprinkled in body parts after my kids were conceived.  They just grew.  My fantasy is that each baby that is conceived would grow up in a loving home.  There are so many people who want babies and cannot have them.  Our 4th child is adopted, and there is no less love for her than for any of my bio kids.  You do not need to go through all the steps of infertility treatments to be a parent.  Every child created has a home waiting.  Sometimes it is just a matter of getting them together.  It is a tragedy when it doesn’t happen.

Many people are against any birth control that takes effect AFTER the egg has been fertilized because it is ends a very, very teeny tiny life.  Those objections are understood. Many birth control methods work this way. and those are some of the simplest and most reliable methods a person can use.  We cannot control another person’s body.  Even the use of those types of birth control is optimal to an induced abortion.  Why would anyone want to have an abortion?  It causes the unnatural end to a natural process.  It costs money, takes your time, and uses medical resources that would be better suited to save life rather than destroy it.  Love doesn’t motivate people to have an abortion.  It is not good for a woman’s body.  Women should love themselves enough to try not to be in a position where an abortion seems like the best choice.  Anyone who doesn’t want the best for a woman they love should be booted to the curb.  You deserve so much better.  That is not love.

There are extreme sides to the issue.  It is amazing how people throw around the worst-case scenario for both sides just to get people polarized.  There is a big group of overlap in the middle that can work together to come to the best solution.  Being extreme and pointing the finger at the other side does nothing towards bringing people together.  And we can all do better working together.

Imagine all of the money we spend on abortions and infertility treatments including time lost from work.  We could use it in helpful ways - helping with adoption costs and birth control.  Helping people learn natural methods of birth control and how things really affect your body. The medical resources are so badly needed elsewhere.  Abortion is a waste no matter what way I look at it.  And, no, I am not trying to control your body or tell you what to do.  

My point is that if we want to end abortion we need to start with the woman.  Teach her to love and respect herself.  If there isn’t a perceived need for abortions then they will go away.  Let’s get to work on taking away the abortion market.  Follow the money of anybody who objects to that.  They aren’t looking out for anybody but themselves.

Talking with kids about reproduction and health is a good thing to do.  It won’t cause them to run out and have sex.  The ones that do are going to do it anyway.  

My kids are my life.  I cannot imagine myself without them. They are love.

[queen-of-confusion13]

March for life - Trump - ugh

IMO - In My Opinion, as always.

The March for Life is being live streamed from Washington DC on Reuters at the moment.  It is awesome to see so many young adults motivated to save lives.  Unfortunately, it has been politicized.  Two years ago during his first impeachment trial, Trump went to the March for Life to speak.  My daughter was very excited that he went because he was the first president to attend one.  At the time he went his aides were trying to do anything and everything to keep him off twitter.  He had actually intimidated a witness during their testimony earlier.  They had to derail him.  So, his association with March for Life really was not good.  It has made it look hypocritical. The character of the leaders who support a movement matters a lot.