queerdotedu

[queerdotedu]

A graphic from the asexuality lesson on this blog!

Copying the ID used on that post:

Because the above image has too many characters to fit in the alt text, and because these concepts are often misunderstood by both allo and ace people, I want to highlight each of those spectra:

1. Sexual attraction can vary from fully assexual to fully allosexual, i.e. from being attracted to no one, to being attracted to many people. No one can reasonably argue all allos are attracted to all people. Similarly, not all aces are attracted to no one. There are terms for these, which I will get into later, but for the most part ace identities, as with other LGBTQ identities, are best claimed by the people who experience them.

That is to say that if someone describes themselves as ace, they're ace. Period.

2. Libido, being fully separate from attraction, can vary from being nonexistent to very high. As the graphic states, libido can vary for many reasons such as mental health status, physical health, life stages, etc. Once again, libido is fully separate from attraction. One might think of the phrase, "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." If you experience attraction on a fairly regular basis, but have a low libido, this is probably not best described as being ace.

3. Sex favorability is one's desire, or lack thereof, for sex *for themselves*. This is a factor that can be greatly influenced by outside factors such as, unfortunately, sexual abuse or trauma.

4. Sex positivity is one's opinion regarding sex *as a concept*. This means you can be, for example, fully sex-positive and fully sex-repulsed. In that case, you think it's anyone else's right to have sex if they like, but you don't want to. Ever. At all.

the difference matters:

sex-positive: you want people in general to be able to sexually express themselves freely. this should ideally include asexuality. this is not about you as an individual.

sex-favourable: you want to have sex for whatever reason.

sex-neutral: you don't really have an opinion about freedom of sexual expression. this is about people in general, not you specifically.

sex-indifferent: you don't really care if you personally have sex or not, you could take it or leave it.

sex-negative: you only want people to have a limited sexual expression.

sex-averse: you don't want to participate in sex.

positive/neutral/negative refer to your stance on how sex is treated within society.

favourable/indifferent/averse refer to how you personally feel about participating in sex.

you can be a sex-averse asexual and still be sex-positive.

there's a common misconception that aces, especially sex-averse aces, are all "anti-sex", but some parts of the ace community still hasn't learned the nuance of these terms either. i still see people call sex-favourable aces sex-positive when they mean different things.

[queerdotedu]

Ace dot edu

Welcome to the Ace dot edu post! Your LGBTQ education starts now. Pull up a chair, because there are a lot of misapprehensions about what being ace actually means.

Asexuality 101:

"Wait," I hear some of you say, "I thought being ace meant you had no libido." Turns out that is a major misconception about being ace! So sexual orientations are primarily about attraction; e.g., gay men are men who are attracted to men. So ace 101 is simply making sure to decouple the concept of attraction from the concept of libido in your mind.

Asexuality 102:

This is why decoupling the concepts of attraction and libido in your mind, whether you're ace or not, is important! Because although many ace people have low or nonexistent libidos, that isn't universally true. Unfortunately, sex-favorable aces often experience gatekeeping.

Asexuality 103: Terminology

Asexual comes from the prefix "a–", meaning "without", and the word "sexual", meaning who you're attracted to. Allosexual comes from the prefix "allo–", meaning “other”, and the same root. For this reason, the word allosexual is not a pejorative. It's simply a word that describes who you're attracted to. It's descriptive.

Similar to many other things regarding the so-called "LGBTQ discourse", disputing this is a red flag of GC talking points.

Asexuality 201:

Because the above image has too many characters to fit in the alt text, and because these concepts are often misunderstood by both allo and ace people, I want to highlight each of those spectra:

1. Sexual attraction can vary from fully assexual to fully allosexual, i.e. from being attracted to no one, to being attracted to many people. No one can reasonably argue all allos are attracted to all people. Similarly, not all aces are attracted to no one. There are terms for these, which I will get into later, but for the most part ace identities, as with other LGBTQ identities, are best claimed by the people who experience them.

That is to say that if someone describes themselves as ace, they're ace. Period.

2. Libido, being fully separate from attraction, can vary from being nonexistent to very high. As the graphic states, libido can vary for many reasons such as mental health status, physical health, life stages, etc. Once again, libido is fully separate from attraction. One might think of the phrase, "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." If you experience attraction on a fairly regular basis, but have a low libido, this is probably not best described as being ace.

3. Sex favorability is one's desire, or lack thereof, for sex *for themselves*. This is a factor that can be greatly influenced by outside factors such as, unfortunately, sexual abuse or trauma.

4. Sex positivity is one's opinion regarding sex *as a concept*. This means you can be, for example, fully sex-positive and fully sex-repulsed. In that case, you think it's anyone else's right to have sex if they like, but you don't want to. Ever. At all.

Asexuality 202:

This means that although there are potentially fewer aces than others on the LGBTQ spectrum, they are LGBTQ.

Furthermore, consider this another reminder that gatekeeping LGBTQ identities is usually a red flag of GC talking points.

Asexuality 203:

Now, although there are many labels and classifications, it should be emphasized that someone with no or low levels of attraction is primarily asexual.

If you are asexual, you are asexual, and you are LGBTQ.

(It will be addressed in a later post, but the desire to classify each type in smaller and smaller increments may lead to a feeling of fragmentation and invalidation among members of the LGBTQ community. If this thread is helping you realize you're ace, you're ace.)

Asexuality 301:

Confused now about whether or not you're ace? This level of the course is for you.

If you're asexual, the preceding images probably absolutely blew your mind. If you aren't, they probably just confirmed that fact for you.

It's okay to be ace, even if you didn't realize it until now!

Still confused because you think you might have crushes?

In summary:

Asexuality 401:

If you're allo and want to understand even more, the following images will help.

The preceding phrases and more are painful for asexuals to hear. Please consider phrases like these and educate yourself on asexuality before speaking up.

This concludes the Asexuality LGBTQ course. Feel free to comment in reply; helpful comments will be highlighted.

[This post can also be found on twitter.]