queerextremity

[queerextremity]

growing up to realize Twilight is actually deeply tragic because, in all the subtle and not-so-subtle ways, it reinforces the idea that Bella ultimately had no choice whether she should become a vampire or not. these books and movies know it’s too big of a choice for a teenager to make. Edward considers their existence to be shameful and himself to be a monster, Rosalie wishes nothing more than to be human again, and there’s all this talk about how the transformation is their most painful memory and a whole plot about an army of newborns to show Bella how uncontrollable and cruel this new life can make her. it’s not coincidental that Jessica gives her graduation speech on how the biggest joy of their age is that they’re allowed to not know what they want to be yet. they can try things out and fail, so that they learn their true destiny. and the camera focuses on Bella, who realizes her big choice is already made. everybody around her knows she’s too young to make it, but it’s not like she can truly back out.

when I was younger, I thought her behavior in New Moon was not normal and stupid, but I understand her more and more. she didn’t just lose Edward and her teenage love. she lost a whole new world she had. being close to vampires probably meant something new and exciting happened to her every day. something she could never share with her human friends. her and Edward were bound by this big secret, and everything she experienced, all this big love she felt for the first time, all this excitement and danger that came with it, she couldn’t tell anyone about. she only had Cullens to understand her experience completely. when they left, she didn’t truly have anybody to tell why it impacted her so deeply and what she lost exactly. and, apart from everything good, she also lost that daily danger staying near vampires brought. any wrong move in their presence could be fatal, and that adrenaline rush she could now only find in risking her life and doing everything reckless she could think of.

If Bella never became a vampire, she knew she could never truly be a part of this world. and to her, that meant being even more isolated from other people than she already felt. imagine her living a normal human life, never being able to share what she knows without sounding crazy. everybody knew she was too young to choose that, but did she really have a different choice? in a way, Twilight is all about how every extraordinary experience you have brings people further from ever truly knowing you. and what if it’s so extraordinary that it gives you no way back? especially when you’re so young and impressionable and everything is new and big. it’s a tragedy

[queerextremity]

well, i can't argue with that. Midnight Sun made all the questionable things Edward did so much worse since he clearly realizes what he does is wrong and comes up with many weird justifications for his behavior. and he keeps "protecting" Bella, even though he himself said there's nothing more dangerous for Bella in Forks than him and his family. it's also annoying how SM kinda justifies his stalking because in the end he does save Bella from rape, so the narrative tells us she needed Edward to stay alive. in many situations, we are told to believe that somehow Bella managed to survive for a whole 17 years before coming to Forks, but now every day is a new trouble, only Edward can help, and she would be dead without him even in the world of average 00s romantic books, I'm not sure how any of that was supposed to look normal

growing up to realize Twilight is actually deeply tragic because, in all the subtle and not-so-subtle ways, it reinforces the idea that Bella ultimately had no choice whether she should become a vampire or not. these books and movies know it’s too big of a choice for a teenager to make. Edward considers their existence to be shameful and himself to be a monster, Rosalie wishes nothing more than to be human again, and there’s all this talk about how the transformation is their most painful memory and a whole plot about an army of newborns to show Bella how uncontrollable and cruel this new life can make her. it’s not coincidental that Jessica gives her graduation speech on how the biggest joy of their age is that they’re allowed to not know what they want to be yet. they can try things out and fail, so that they learn their true destiny. and the camera focuses on Bella, who realizes her big choice is already made. everybody around her knows she’s too young to make it, but it’s not like she can truly back out.

when I was younger, I thought her behavior in New Moon was not normal and stupid, but I understand her more and more. she didn’t just lose Edward and her teenage love. she lost a whole new world she had. being close to vampires probably meant something new and exciting happened to her every day. something she could never share with her human friends. her and Edward were bound by this big secret, and everything she experienced, all this big love she felt for the first time, all this excitement and danger that came with it, she couldn’t tell anyone about. she only had Cullens to understand her experience completely. when they left, she didn’t truly have anybody to tell why it impacted her so deeply and what she lost exactly. and, apart from everything good, she also lost that daily danger staying near vampires brought. any wrong move in their presence could be fatal, and that adrenaline rush she could now only find in risking her life and doing everything reckless she could think of.

If Bella never became a vampire, she knew she could never truly be a part of this world. and to her, that meant being even more isolated from other people than she already felt. imagine her living a normal human life, never being able to share what she knows without sounding crazy. everybody knew she was too young to choose that, but did she really have a different choice? in a way, Twilight is all about how every extraordinary experience you have brings people further from ever truly knowing you. and what if it’s so extraordinary that it gives you no way back? especially when you’re so young and impressionable and everything is new and big. it’s a tragedy

[queerextremity]

growing up to realize Twilight is actually deeply tragic because, in all the subtle and not-so-subtle ways, it reinforces the idea that Bella ultimately had no choice whether she should become a vampire or not. these books and movies know it’s too big of a choice for a teenager to make. Edward considers their existence to be shameful and himself to be a monster, Rosalie wishes nothing more than to be human again, and there’s all this talk about how the transformation is their most painful memory and a whole plot about an army of newborns to show Bella how uncontrollable and cruel this new life can make her. it’s not coincidental that Jessica gives her graduation speech on how the biggest joy of their age is that they’re allowed to not know what they want to be yet. they can try things out and fail, so that they learn their true destiny. and the camera focuses on Bella, who realizes her big choice is already made. everybody around her knows she’s too young to make it, but it’s not like she can truly back out.

when I was younger, I thought her behavior in New Moon was not normal and stupid, but I understand her more and more. she didn’t just lose Edward and her teenage love. she lost a whole new world she had. being close to vampires probably meant something new and exciting happened to her every day. something she could never share with her human friends. her and Edward were bound by this big secret, and everything she experienced, all this big love she felt for the first time, all this excitement and danger that came with it, she couldn’t tell anyone about. she only had Cullens to understand her experience completely. when they left, she didn’t truly have anybody to tell why it impacted her so deeply and what she lost exactly. and, apart from everything good, she also lost that daily danger staying near vampires brought. any wrong move in their presence could be fatal, and that adrenaline rush she could now only find in risking her life and doing everything reckless she could think of.

If Bella never became a vampire, she knew she could never truly be a part of this world. and to her, that meant being even more isolated from other people than she already felt. imagine her living a normal human life, never being able to share what she knows without sounding crazy. everybody knew she was too young to choose that, but did she really have a different choice? in a way, Twilight is all about how every extraordinary experience you have brings people further from ever truly knowing you. and what if it’s so extraordinary that it gives you no way back? especially when you’re so young and impressionable and everything is new and big. it’s a tragedy

[queerextremity]

life is lonely when there are only two vicky/sienna fics on ao3 and both of them are written by me

[queerextremity]

Hey I just read your Fic or One shot (idk how can I call it lol) of Sienna and Vicky, and it's amazing! But I was wondering if you could write one of Sienna x Fem Reader?, there's not so much Sienna x Fem Reader fics in here so, It would be really amazing if u do it!

hii, thank you so much!

i've never really thought about writing x reader fics, but i might give it a try soon!! <3

[queerextremity]

Michael Fischa's Death Spa

[queerextremity]

What’s it like knowing that Sebastian describes working with you is really like riding a psychotic horse into a blazing stable?

[queerextremity]

The thing about "Steve stuck in the past re: Bucky/Peggy/life in general" is that, by itself, I think it's a valid writing choice. There are scenes that could support that interpretation, and it's a plausible way to add depth to Steve's character and create some conflict. But it's so often done in a "Steve should just get over himself" kind of way, rather than a "Steve is understandably struggling here" kind of way, which sucks.

Point. It’s presented as this unhealthy thing…almost a character flaw that Steve is ‘stuck in the past’. As if he’s an old man whining about the good old days and not someone who is grieving the destruction of his entire world. And it’s not just done in a way where “Steve should just get over himself” but also in a way that Steve being stuck in the past makes him toxic to Bucky/Tony/the team/ and he needs to get over himself because he’s hurting someone else. It’s never about what that grief is doing to him.

Sometimes I think the magnitude of Steve’s loss is what makes his trauma so completely incomprehensible to fandom while they sit and churn out overused childhood abuse tropes for Tony or Loki. Or it could just be the fact that Steve is a stoic character because Bucky’s trauma should also be absolutely incomprehensible but fandom sure manages to give a tonne of shits about it. 

[queerextremity]

my toxic trait is thinking start a war by jennie is about stucky

[queerextremity]

was thinking p hard the other day abt steve rogers and bodily autonomy

being chronically ill, especially when you're young, can really make you feel like a prisoner in your body. you begin to see your body as a separate entity to the rest of you- you begin to see your body as an enemy. you have no say in when it decides to function properly. you feel you're a passenger in your own life. you get used to being touched and poked and prodded by medical professionals. you don't really have the option to say no, not if you want to live.

and then steve gave his body to his country and got the serum. he wasn't sick anymore, but his body still wasn't his. it belonged to the country. it belonged to a cause.

so many of steve's decisions can be framed as him trying to regain his autonomy. getting into fights as a sickly kid. working so hard to get himself drafted into a war. trying to give his life for the greater good- again, and again, and again. (hey, steve- you good? you wanna talk about it?)

[queerextremity]

president zelenskyy is a stronger man than me because if two ignorant and deluded men like trump and vance started demanding i say please and thank you and calling me disrespectful like im a naughty child instead of a very traumatised and frustrated man trying to save his country from putin id have put them both in the ground with a single fucking punch

[queerextremity]

i finally watched brave new world! my expectations were pretty low, and i knew it was impossible to recreate what the cap trilogy was, considering the quality of mcu latest installments. however, it ended up being pretty good! we finally have a movie that doesn't feel like a setup for a setup and doesn't exist for some multiverse bullshit. captain america was always the most politically interesting, tense and smart mcu movies, and they keep being that, even though the overall quality got so much worse. that being said, i'm confused about the message this movie's trying to convey. cap trilogy has always felt so anti-authority to me, and to see sam not only trying to cooperate with ross, but also seeing him as "not a bad person" didn't sit right with me. do we really need a tragic story about somebody who acts like a piece of shit throughout his life? about somebody responsible for so much suffering, including sam's? i couldn't help thinking i can't imagine steve ever being friendly with the man. and i know sam's his own character, and i understand why he did what he did, but the overall messaging that it's a saner choice to cooperate with somebody evil felt weird to me. am i missing something? i also had SO MANY flashbacks to tws. same scenes, some similar plots, even a similar character set. ruth feels like a new nat, and with joaquín as a new falcon, and sam as a new cap, it feels like they're trying to recreate cap's quartet too. it's not bad, but tws is unmatchably good, which inevitably makes brave new world look weaker. but overall i was so happy to see bucky and sam and i had such a good time! also all of the mentions on steve did nothing but bring the most stupid smile on my face, which is super rare for mcu these days

[queerextremity]

this is very important, btw.

[queerextremity]

“I am tired of everything I have ever desired.”

— Zeb-un-Nissa, tr. by Paul Smith, from “Makhfi: A Selection of Poems,”

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[AU where Sienna and Vicky are college rommates, before any of Art's attacks]

The magical wasn’t seeing what Sienna created, it was watching Sienna create. Whenever she entered her headspace of grinning silence, meticulous solitude, and her hands finally got steady, and she talked joyfully, like everything was nothing and nothing was important. Vicky thought it was magical. Sienna always bought the cheapest paint, the ugliest dresses from thrift stores, armed herself with threads and needles and made it look like all she ever needed were her ideas. If you could sell an idea to Sienna, she could make everything come true. It’s a superpower, really. When Vicky first brought Sienna to meet Tara, Tara, with heart eyes and everything, brought Dawn along. Ever since then, Sienna had helped Dawn with all her Halloween costumes, partly on her own will, partly to avoid another drinking session of questions and gushing. At least Vicky never asked her for anything, except to watch Sienna work, and for that she never had to ask.

“What are you doing this time?” Vicky asked, sitting cross-legged on her bed in their small dorm room, with windows wide open and doors sealed shut. She put the laptop away when she saw Sienna pouting and furrowing her eyebrows. She had been working for a while now, hidden between boxes and spray cans, and Vicky thought she saw something resembling wings.

“It’s my Halloween costume,” Sienna smiled absentmindedly. “My dad’s character.”

“Well, what does she do?” It’s a game they play—Sienna wanting to be asked and Vicky always asking. Letting herself get carried away.

“She’s a superhero,” Sienna looked up and beamed at her. “Daddy created her when I asked him why he never drew girls… She’s an angel warrior with a fire sword. As long as she has her sword, she can defeat anybody”. An angel warrior. Vicky didn’t think there ever existed truer ways to describe Sienna, and it made her feel as if all splendor was always hers, a birthright.

“Well, I’m scared for everybody who’ll try to fight you,” she jokingly put her hands in the air and rolled her eyes, to which Sienna laughed. It’s a step up from last year when Sienna made them dress as Jennifer and Needy from Jennifer’s Body, and Vicky had a hard time keeping herself together, whether from how hot Sienna looked or the fact they passionately kissed in the movie. This year, Vicky was hoping to go as herself. “What’s puzzling you now?”

“Well…” She furrowed her eyebrows again, thinking. “There’s something you can help with. Come here!”

“What?”

“C’mon, it’s not scary… Also, take your shirt off.”

“Excuse me?” Vicky stared at her, blinking.

“C’mon, I need to see how it looks and do some measures. It’s hard to do on myself!” She grinned, motioning Vicky to come closer. “Please,” she pleaded jokingly.

“Okay, okay,” Vicky got up from bed and walked across the room to Sienna’s desk, bathed in the glowing light of Sienna’s pink lightbulbs. “You could’ve just said so.”. She peeled her shirt off, her back to Sienna, and reluctantly turned to face her.

“It’s not as much fun,” Sienna answered, refusing to see red in Vicky’s cheeks. “Okay, here it goes…”

She put the armor top on Vicky, gently pulling the straps over her shoulders and down the sides, brushing her skin with her fingertips and breathing her air, putting hair away from her face and watching her with an artist's intent, like she sees her completely. The armor didn’t fit properly, but the way it wrapped her in cold and hard foam around the sides made Vicky feel unstoppable, held together.

“Well, aren’t you beautiful…” Sienna said quietly, examining the costume. “Here, try the wings on,” she got them out from under the boxes of threads, leather and fabric, craft feathers and wire. Vicky hesitated before awkwardly sliding her hands through the holes, feeling ridiculous every step of the way. “Now look at yourself. What do you think?”

Vicky turned to face the mirror. She didn’t look heroic in a way she’s learnt to see heroic—she had bags under her eyes from study nights, her posture wasn’t straight, and she had that light of content tiredness around her, of all her meditative bliss. She wore her pajama pants and her purple fluffy slippers, feeling like a Frankenstein’s monster created from all the wrong parts. But then there was gold against her skin, white feathers behind her back, and if she tried hard enough, she could see the fire sword making its way through the dark, guiding her towards the light, like electricity circulating around. As of right now, everything felt right. She couldn’t tell why.

“It’s pretty,” is all she could manage. “You would look good in it... She does sound like you.”

“Really?” Sienna asked from behind her shoulder, her breath on Vicky’s skin and her words somewhere deep in Vicky’s brain. “You don’t think I’d look stupid?”

“I don’t,” she smiled. “You already make everything seem possible, and what does a couple of wings do for somebody like that?”

“I don’t know, she feels so right on you,” Sienna murmured, her eyes sparkling and her voice softer. “You have that aura of somebody who could slay a couple of demons.”

“Or an aura of one,” she shrugged, mockingly raising her eyebrows.

“Not without that, of course,” Sienna laughed, her hands now on Vicky’s shoulders. Vicky felt the desire to put her hand over Sienna’s, to look over her shoulder, to look into Sienna’s eyes with the same intent Sienna’s always looked at hers. The only demon she needed to slay was her ever-present need for closeness, her tangible longing for something bigger. Sienna put her hand away before she had a chance to either slay the demons or surrender.

“Plus, you’re very beautiful,” Sienna whispered in her ear before moving away, sitting at her desk, smiling with her head low, working her magic.

Vicky stood there, in a spray-painted golden armor, feeling like the most powerful person in the world.

[queerextremity]

Fever is a hilarious immune response. Our bodies tell the disease “hey, wanna see which one of us dies of overheating first? No? Too bad.” and honestly they’re not even the winners a decent chunk of the time but it works often enough that we never evolved it away or anything. Fantastic work.

[queerextremity]

i remain forever changed and forever your kale