quitblamingnarcissism

[quitblamingnarcissism]

So many people intentionally misinterpret my posts and assume that I'm implying that it's okay for narcissists to abuse people.

Meanwhile, "interpreting everything you say in the worst possible way in order to make you look bad" is exactly what they accuse narcissists of.

Hatred of narcissists is pure projection.

[quitblamingnarcissism]

I found this on Facebook. I couldn't find a single comment agreeing with the "narcissists".

Now imagine that it said "Parents be like..." and didn't mention narcissists.

The comments would be overflowing with people insisting that parents have the right to do whatever they want because they pay for things. The commenters would say that the child is the one who's acting entitled by daring to challenge the person who buys things for them. The commenters would advise any child who complains about their parents to move out and pay their own bills.

Remember this?

Complain about narcissists, and everyone agrees that they're monsters. Complain about your parents doing the exact same things without mentioning them being narcissists, and everyone sides with your parents.

[quitblamingnarcissism]

OBVIOUSLY nobody should ever be abused and abuse is bad and abusers should not be coddled. I went through abuse myself, I know this

that being said. I don't think being a victim of abuse gives you the right to go around telling people that they remind you of your abuser for reasons they cannot control. it is unkind, unfair, and incredibly manipulative to treat other people this way. I don't care if it is because your abuser was an addict, or had a particular religious background, or had a particular disorder, or something else entirely. you cannot hold an entire group of people responsible for what happened to you

you are not morally obligated to spend time with people who remind you of your abuser. but you are morally obligated to treat other people with dignity and respect

[quitblamingnarcissism]

Quick question for clarification - are you saying that abuse at the hands of a person with NPD isn’t real? Personally, I was severely abused at the hand of my clinically diagnosed NPD mother and have been in therapy for it for years. I don’t understand how you can make a general claim that such abuse doesn’t exist.

I constantly post about child abuse. I constantly post about the massive cruelty adults inflict on children. I constantly post about children being treated like absolute garbage. I constantly post about how everyone would instantly notice certain actions as heinous crimes when done to another adult but see it as acceptable when done to children. I constantly post about how difficult it is for children to heal from the trauma that adults caused them. I constantly post about how so many adults would rather have a child be scarred for life than have a child be disobedient or non-conforming.

So I'm well aware that abusive parents exist. I have no idea how someone can read what I post and get the impression that I'm denying that parents abuse their children.

But demonizing people who have the same mental illness as your abuser instead of people who have the same power as your abuser is complete nonsense.

[quitblamingnarcissism]

ngl i'm convinced the reason so many people believe in Inherently Evil Person Disease is bc they think demons are real and walk among us

Demons are real. They do walk among us. They're called police. They're called capitalists.

But the demons who control society don't want everyone to recognize how evil they are. So they instead create scapegoats in order to divert society's anger.

[quitblamingnarcissism]

Incels are often men who were abused by their mothers and project their trauma onto women as a whole.

If you were abused by a mentally ill parent and project your trauma onto mentally ill people as a whole, then you have the exact same pattern as incels have.

[quitblamingnarcissism]

So, it is about demonizing and scapegoating a personality disorder. When people said, "Narcissistic is just a synonym for selfish, not a reference to the personality disorder," it was a lie this entire time.

[quitblamingnarcissism]

Seriously, fuck off with this "narcissistic abuse" bullshit.

Earlier today, I saw a post on Facebook about narcissistic parents. I couldn't find a single comment defending the parents.

But just a few minutes ago, I saw another post on Facebook about a man being arrested for beating his child with a belt, and the majority of the comments were from people demanding his release and insisting that it's good parenting.

All this hate that narcissists get is pure scapegoating. We live in a society that champions child abuse. The way adults treat children is beyond monstrous.

If you share your story about how your "narcissistic parents" abused you and you receive support, the vast majority of your supporters would be cheering on your abusive parents if they didn't have a mental illness. Why in the world would you want support from assholes like that?

[quitblamingnarcissism]

Abuse is bad. It's already recognized as bad when a mentally ill person does it. It should also be recognized as bad when anyone else does it.

That's the point of so many of my posts.

But people still insist on intentionally misinterpreting. There's always someone who says, "Are you implying that it's okay for mentally ill people to be abusive?"

[quitblamingnarcissism]

I saw this on Facebook. I checked the comments and couldn't find a single comment siding with the parent.

Meanwhile, when I see posts that call out authoritarian parenting and that don't mention the parents being mentally ill, the comments are flooded with assholes finding any excuse to justify child abuse.

[quitblamingnarcissism]

The people who inflict abuse regularly then play the victim when the same is done to them once are called "ICE", not "narcissists".

I propose that that pattern of abuse be renamed to "icelike abuse" instead of "narcissistic abuse".

"I'm experiencing once what I inflict on people daily."

[quitblamingnarcissism]

If a narcissist were to say that they have to abuse people because feeding their narcissistic supply and coping with their trauma depends on it, they'd be seen as pure evil.

Meanwhile,

Police regularly say that they absolutely must kill people over the slightest provocation, because their survival depends on it.

Landlords regularly say that they absolutely must raise rent and evict tenants who can't pay, because their income depends on it.

Bosses regularly say that they absolutely must pay poverty wages, because the functioning of their business depends on it.

Why do we demonize mentally ill people while giving the ruling class a free pass to have the exact same patterns?

[quitblamingnarcissism]

Hi, I have a small page elsewhere where I try to educate people on NPD as someone diagnosed with the disorder (and other stuff in the neurodivergent community) and I really love your posts - would it be okay for me to take inspiration from your talking points and expand on them, with a link back to your blog?

Yes

[quitblamingnarcissism]

It's a common pattern that has happened since the beginning of time. When you call out abuse in a way that blames a clear "other", people applaud you. When you call out abuse in a way that requires people to question their own patterns, the same people get defensive.

Call your ex a narcissist and describe him in a way that makes him seem mentally ill, and you'll be supported. Call out systemic male privilege, and you'll be met with hate.

Call your parents narcissists and describe them in a way that makes them seem mentally ill, and you'll be supported. Call out systemic authoritarian parenting, and you'll be met with hate.

[quitblamingnarcissism]

"But narcissistic abuse is a specific type of abuse. Just calling it abuse isn't enough."

Then why do I hear "my ex, the narcissist" everywhere I go?

[quitblamingnarcissism]

Love love love LOVE your work here

You have no idea how much I appreciate your advocacy

Take care! Hope you have good health and lots of success!

❤️

[quitblamingnarcissism]

No. The president is not a narcissist, and rich people are not sociopaths. "Mentally ill" should not be the worst thing you can call someone.

Society doesn't love mentally ill people. Society loves neurotypical people who do the exact same things that mentally ill people are demonized for.

Remember when that shithead father Tommy Jordan shot his daughter's laptop with a gun then posted the video online?

He became a celebrity. He received massive amounts of praise. The vast majority of the comments on his video were in support of him.

So enough about this "narcissistic abuse" bullshit. With how much society hates narcissists and how much society praises child abusers, it's not possible to genuinely associate narcissism with abuse.