rachelsnotebook

[rachelsnotebook]

Switch 2... what exactly?

The Nintendo Switch launched March 3, 2017, and today on its seventh birthday, I can't help but to think about the foundation this console has set. It's magnificent, and there's no finer base to build a new console on. Yes, the Switch sets an extremely high bar for Nintendo's next console, but I believe it will soar to even greater heights. The potential is there!

And until Nintendo chooses to reveal its plans, I can only speculate as a lifelong fan. So, please remember that I have zero insider knowledge and I'm simply running with my personal opinions on how I think Nintendo should navigate this situation.

Without further ado, what does the Switch 2 need in order to be successful?

The key feature that makes the most sense is to be backwards compatible with the original Switch. Easy. Simple. Right?

[As of December 31, 2023 - source]

But what could backwards compatible mean in this climate where physical media is at war with the 'convenience' of digital libraries?

Nintendo could pitch backwards compatibility to us and it could mean any of these scenarios:

Our physical cartridges and memory cards can be easily inserted and work instantly. And save data can be easily accessed and transferred between the original Switch and the Switch 2 consoles via online back ups.

Only physical cartridges can be inserted, memory cards cannot be passed between consoles, and digital only games must be redownloaded from the Nintendo eshop. And save data backed up online can be accessed.

Our entire original Switch libraries must be redownloaded digitally from the eshop.

There's no way of knowing what direction Nintendo will choose. I prefer the ease of #1. I want a smooth transition into the Switch's successor.

Even if save data can't move between consoles digitally through Nintendo's safety net, that's not a huge loss. It could potentially give us more save files for some games... unless the back up trying to juggle both data files for the same account causes file corruption... [That's a thought for another day.]

That aside, there are big concerns I have with the other two scenarios. If memory cards can't simply transfer, then you're looking at an additional financial barrier. You either buy more memory cards, or you sacrifice the cards you have and reformat them for the Switch 2.

Additionally, what about games that have been delisted from the eshop?

What about games from other regions? If you can't use the cartridge, can you redownload it digitally without having to jump through hoops and making new accounts?

This touches on the second key feature the Switch 2 needs to maintain. It has to be region free. Not all games are treated equally, but the Switch breaking free from region barriers was a huge leap in the right direction.

Next, the NSO library has to be available day 1, but I'm concerned how Nintendo will do that. Will our paid plans cover our accounts between consoles, will it transfer to the new console, or will we have to buy an entirely new NSO plan for Switch 2?

And lastly, the eshop needs to be fixed. In its current state, it's slow and difficult to navigate. Nintendo needs to redesign it to be functional.

(A bonus aside, the entire Switch eshop library should be accessible from day 1 on the Switch 2.)

Now, going off of what I've outlined... we still have what's essentially a Nintendo Switch. What will be the hook that will entice people to upgrade to the new console?

Higher frame rates, enhanced graphics, and being able to play more complex AAA games like the ones we've seen on competitor hardware. These points are a given. The Switch 2 has to be able to clear this bar in order to maintain its place in the market and encourage players to upgrade.

Still, we need a Nintendo hook. There's no way of knowing what magic they'll hit us with. The Switch is a near perfect console to me. I love being able to game anywhere and anytime.

So, the Switch 2 gimmick I've been dreaming of would be a 'switch' between Nintendo's past, present, and future. It would be about honoring all players, play styles, and Nintendo games.

I know this vision isn't likely, and Nintendo hasn't been friendly to game preservation and backwards compatibility in recent times. I'm fully aware, but this is my personal dream Switch 2 console. I can't emphasize that enough.

The key component of this hook would be the return of the dual screens. It would function similar to the original DS model that maintained the GBA slot. Players utilized a single screen for those games, and the DS ones utilized both. This would immediately kick open the door to the DS, 3DS, and WiiU libraries. Ideally, the console would come with a DS/3DS cartridge slot built in.

And the part where the hook really digs in... There's a market for playing older games on new hardware, and I want to see Nintendo dip their toes in it. Nintendo used to have unique accessories:

Instead of the Switch having unique joy-cons to pair with the NSO, I would like to see Nintendo offer accessories that would attach to the Switch 2's TV connective base and allow the older physical games to run.

Imagine that. Seriously, let this dream sink in.

Each year, older hardware will begin to fail. It's inevitable, but by allowing new means to access older, legacy content... that would ease the pain. It's not perfect because disks and cartridges are also aging, but it's a step in the right direction.

This would also compliment the NSO really nicely. There are plenty of games due to licensing headaches that will likely never see a rerelease in any form, and this would be a legal, safe way to revisit old favorites.

Now that I've clearly aimed for every star in the night sky, what else could the Switch 2 do?

Themes! It's a dearly missed feature of the 3DS and it's still shocking that it's missing from the Switch. I'm even willing to scale things back and remove the special music that came with each theme. If it's all too much for the system to run, fine, but please let me customize that home screen.

And lastly, I want to see the Badge Arcade return. I miss that rabbit. Free him from the 3DS!

What are your Switch 2 hopes, dreams, and fears?

[rachelsnotebook]

Time for another super indulgent Nintendo Bingo card!

[rachelsnotebook]

A Look Back At The Games of 2023

There's always too many games and not enough hours in a year, but I refuse to let that stop me from celebrating the games that were important to me over the course of 2023.

The Games I LOVED in 2023:

(In no particular order)

Atelier Ryza: Ever Darkness & The Secret Hideout (released September 26, 2019)

This game spoke to me on so many levels: the lonely childhood, the frustrations at home, the desire to prove myself, the dreams of adventure, a craving to learn, an enchantment with magic.

How could I not fall in love with these characters? I wish this game came into my life so much sooner.

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (released October 12, 2001)

Now, this is a game series that missed me entirely. It wasn't until I was an adult with internet access that I was briefly introduced to Phoenix Wright. Right away I knew I liked the style of humor, but I still didn't feel compelled to give the series a try any time soon.

Flash forward to 2023... I picked up the available Ace Attorney games on the 3DS eshop before it died. So, when I found myself on an airplane for the first time I decided to keep the ball rolling. I booted up the first Ace Attorney, and I get it now. This game is an experience. And I love it dearly!

A Date with Death (Dec 7, 2023)

Now, an important note here is that I still haven't played the full game. I had planned on it by the time I finished getting this massive post written, but I put my focus into playing the other submissions in the Velox Turbo Jam.

The demo though... that I played. A lot. The concept, game mechanics, the art, everything is simply amazing to interact with. How do you not fall in love with this game? Grimmy is so funny (and HOT). I'm looking forward to exploring this game fully in the new year!

Sonic Frontiers (released November 8, 2022 & story dlc September 28, 2023)

I've been playing Sonic for as far back as I can remember, and Frontiers might be my personal favorite of the bunch. It was a joy to explore and experiment with the new mechanics. And I know it's far from perfect. I'm not blind, but I'm not heartless either. Sometimes all you can do is laugh and move on. Over the course of my experience playing, every mechanic and level was accessible. That journey was where I fell in love with Frontiers.

The story dlc was everything I wanted. I'm so happy we got to play as Amy, Tails, and Knuckles! The controls again, aren't perfect, but I'm grateful and thrilled that this content exists at all.

Xenoblade 3 DLC Future Redeemed (released April 25, 2023)

Future Redeemed is my personal game of the year. No question.

If you have a spare hour or two, I do highly recommend looking up on youtube the journey and evolution of the Xeno games. The story of creator, Tetsuya Takahashi, is really cool!

But in short: he kept striving to tell an incredibly complex RPG that would span several games and thousands of years of in game lore. He had a vision that publishers just didn't share. That led him to form his own studio, but he couldn't bring his original IP with him. He had to start again, and one more time after that when Nintendo finally acquired his studio.

The Xenoblade Trilogy is actually six games in disguise. The dlc story content for each game exists as it's own game. The campaigns are significantly shorter, but they're games that stand on their own, 100%.

Future Redeemed was released as the finale to the overarching plot (the Klaus Saga), and this marked the first time that Tetsuya Takahashi was able to bring one of his Xeno plots to a close on his own terms. Xenoblade is still going to continue, but this plot can rest easy.

For the most part. FR still left plays with tons of questions, but it did it's job beautifully. It honored the past games and looked to the future, and I loved every piece of it.

And most remarkably, it also kicked the door down for Tetsuya Takahashi's older IPs to return to the story. It's unclear right now how and when, but the future is so very bright for some incredible games to get another chance to shine.

Splatoon 3 (released September 9, 2022)

I spent a lot of time playing Splatoon this year. Am I good at it? No! But I love this game with my whole heart.

Intertwine (released July 2023)

Will I ever shut up about Intertwine? Hopefully no! I highly recommend checking out the post I made going into detail on this game.

Intertwine stole my heart. It's a fun game that feels deeply special. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and most of all... you'll fall in love with Van.

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog (Mar 31, 2023)

A small team put this game together for April Fools and I owe them my life! This is one of my favorite things that happened this year.

If you missed it, for April Fools Sega dropped an entire Sonic the Hedgehog visual novel. And it's AMAZING.

Coral Island (Nov 14, 2023)

The children who grew up on Bokujō Monogatari are rapidly creating their own farming games. Stardew Valley is the most famous game to come from that group and it's inspiring even more people.

Now, as someone who has likely spent years of their life playing their favorite farming games again, and again... I tend to be picky about what I want from a farming game. I have a clear vision in mind for my dream game.

And Coral Island is really close to that dream! There's a ton of love and careful thought put into the art, the story, and the characters. I can't wait to keep playing and discovering new mechanics and secrets.

Suika game (December 9, 2021)

I love puzzle games! And I was sold on this game instantly.

I may have also bought it from the Japanese eshop some time before it was even announced for a North America release...

Titan Arum (released August 2023)

This game came into my life at a time when I badly needed a distraction. And Titan Arum delivered!

Titan Arum is a visual novel with three love interests, and nothing is as it seems. It's so incredibly cool, and I can't believe that I get to be friends with the devs. This game is a massive home run.

The art, the UI, the story... omg we could be here all day discussing everything. There's a ton to chew on and I don't want to spoil a single thing. Trust me on this, just play it.

Yakuza 0 (released March 12, 2015)

I'm still working my way through this one. Yakuza games are known for their length and I'm not interested in rushing any part of it.

My journey so far has been a ton of fun. There's so much detail injected into the world and the characters that I sometimes find it difficult to put the game down. I love the balance of seriousness and silliness. We need more of that in games.

I can't wait to keep on fighting with Kiryu in 2024.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (released May 12, 2023)

Tears of the Kingdom is easily one of the best games of 2023, and in general. The mechanics they got working are incredible! I'm perpetually in awe by my own puzzle solutions and the clips I've seen of others. It's a truly amazing game.

There's little I can say that others haven't. And to be honest I'm still after all these months, collecting my thoughts on this game. I love TOTK, but I do have a few issues with it. So stay tuned for that post in 2024...

Games that released / released a demo in 2023 that are on my RADAR:

Again, I wish on every star that I had more hours in a day so I could play every game that catches my eye. These are the ones I'm jumping on the opportunity as soon as possible!

-Baldur's Gate 3

Yominokuni

Slay the Princess

Curse Crackers: For Whom the Belle Toils

Thirsty Suitors

In Stars and Time

Dicentra

Little Goody Two Shoes

Mario + Rabbids Sparks of Hope - DLC 3

Other Game related media from 2023 that I want to acknowledge:

Sega has been really knocking it out of the park with their Sonic the Hedgehog content:

(There's too much to link to directly so I'm posting my personal favorites)

Tails Tube

Dr. Eggman takes over Lego

Sonic Symphony events

The added Frontiers content:

Sonic Superstars animated content

Sonic Dream Team animation

The incredible announcement for The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog

I also must emphasize this praise is for the hardworking teams at Sega. If you haven't been following their unionizing efforts I recommend checking this out:

The IDW Sonic Comics! They're a ton of fun and I look forward to them every month.

Atelier Ryza had a big year of added content. The trilogy wrapped and I'm still emotional watching this video they released to visually recap the story.

Ryza also received an anime adaption of the first game. I'm in North America and I watched all of it on crunchyroll. It was a really well done adaption of the first part of the game. I hope it comes back for a season 2, because there's a ton more I want to see animated.

I'm a huge Fire Emblem Heroes addict and I'm always shocked how much original content in that mobile game flies under the radar. The movies for each new story milestone are often really cool.

[I hit an insert video limit so please copy and paste, and check that playlist out!]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5bIw5CyOLE&list=PLqP2A2xeRzdS3MjLNZvmZnWFYf_zwZqwq&ab_channel=NintendoMobile

I almost made it to the end before I hit the limit!

I can't thank you enough if you made it down to this point. This post spiraled out of control... and somehow this is still it reigned in.

It's almost 9pm on New Years Eve and I just want this post done. So if there are errors, I'm sorry. I tried. I fell into writing as if I'm talking to you directly and I like that level of comfort for a fun post like this one.

Have a Happy New Year!!!

[rachelsnotebook]

See ya, 2023. You were... a lot.

I'm equal parts delighted and horrified that this year is coming to a close. To be honest, I'm still mentally trapped in late August-September...

2023 was a huge year of change:

The Baxter dlc wrapped and launched early in the year.

People assumed I was under 18 the entire day I was celebrating my 30th birthday. It was insane. Culminated with the friendly's waitress asking if I wanted the children's menu and my friend nearly hit the floor laughing.

My scared of heights ass got on an airplane for the first time! I only had a mild wave of panic once.

I went on an incredible trip with two of my most dear and important friends and we all experienced Chicago for the first time together.

And we saw Fall Out Boy kick off their tour at Wrigley Field. It was an extra special show too:

I was in the audience for episode 1 of AEW Collison.

I went back to my seasonal job from before the pandemic and helped my boss with projects she couldn't juggle on her own.

My mum's car officially broke for good. The body was so rusted and fragile that the steering was severed. And since I don't know how to drive and rely on that car... we were fucked. For months. And by that, I mean that we had to still use that car to get groceries, medicine, appointments. Not fun...

Our cat, Petey, just made it to his 21st birthday at the end of September. He began to decline at the end of August and his heart simply gave out. He was loved dearly, and treated like a king. He was happy and full of personality up until the very end.

I'm yet again reminded of these silly drawings of him <3

I bought my mum a car! It's a clunker that was new in 2005, but it runs and passed inspection! So we are back and legal on the road again.

Though, it took the majority of my bank account... so after taxes I'm expecting to be rebuilding my savings from scratch in the New Year.

There's a family member that caused a lot grief this year and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm done with them. There are actions I refuse to let pass by. I'm deeply hurt and I will not forget this feeling.

I finally pushed through my doubts and fears, and opened up more in game dev spaces online. Imposter syndrome was horrifically strong, but I love all the new people I've been able to connect with. I'm growing more confident (some days), and I can't wait to see how these friendships grow.

There are exciting projects in the works that I can't wait to not shut up about!!!

I gave editing scripts a shot this year, and I love it a lot!

I participated in two game jams and I'm so proud of both teams.

My website went through several updates. I finally decided to move the blog aspect to tumblr. It feels so much better than what I was fighting with before! I ended up removing this part of my About Me page... shortly after Petey passed. It's still saved on a hidden page. I just needed to move it while I process life without him.

If the clock was turned back to this time last year, I can tell you for a fact that I couldn't have predicted any of this. This year has been a mixed bag.

I wish I was stronger. There are too many instances where I dropped the ball, and I still am. All I can do is try. And I do. Every day.

And I'm so proud of every good moment and success. I hope 2024 is a kinder year. For me, and my loved ones.

My Current 2024 Goals:

Read more books.

Laugh harder.

Turn any of my rough ideas/concepts into something.

Join more game jams!

Build back some of my move out money.

Keep working on my website: I want to try out a testimonial page. Maybe? I'm still somewhat embarrassed by that thought, but it could be beneficial for applying to jobs. If... when that comes up. I also just want a reason to slip in this comment from one of my friends:

I want to make a better writing portfolio and craft an editing one too!

I might look into if there's any interest in doing more editing & proofreading work for smaller game projects in exchange for a few dollars. And figure out real rates for projects with actual budgets. (For game jams, please just ask if I have time because more than likely I'll be thrilled to volunteer some hours!)

Learn to drive a car. Maybe this year I won't feel terribly paranoid behind the wheel...

I can't thank the incredible people in my life enough for their kindness, wisdom, strength, and support over the course of 2023. I wouldn't be here without any of you.

And a huge thank you to all the new people 2023 brought into my life. I hope our friendships grow, or at the very least pass with only good memories attached. I hope many of us are able to make many wonderful games in the future!

So goodbye, goodnight, and have a Happy New Year!!!

[rachelsnotebook]

Wishes wrapped in Red String

Intertwine by Crescence Studio

Two souls, and an eternity to endlessly intersect. Intertwine lovingly takes the player's hand and leads them through glimpses of these souls' many lives.

You'd be hard pressed to find another game that feels uniquely special from the second the title screen pops up! It wasn't long before I felt a strong wave of emotion wash over, as noted during my first playthrough:

And it was gentle. Van and the player character's stories were worth every minute I spent playing (and replaying, and replaying...). How could anyone not latch onto that hope of finding your soulmate?

Intertwine is broken up into four short sections. Each one gives the player a satisfying taste, but it will leave you feeling greedy for so much more!

I love this game exactly how it exists, but I'd be lying if I didn't selfishly wish there were several more tales. For now, I'll just happily leave things to my wild imagination.

Reasons to Love:

- The writing reads like your new favorite book. The stories you'll find are charming, hopeful, laugh out loud funny, and romantic.

- Van might be my soulmate trapped in a visual novel for this lifetime...

I swiftly fell for his charm, and felt like a clown when the game called me out on my own cheesiness.

- I can't praise the voice acting enough! The subtle differences to each lifetime's Van was always filled with personality. The performance brought him to life and transformed these stories into very real feeling conversations.

- The replay loop mechanic was exciting. Each time back at the title screen felt like a treat. Where would Van and the playable character meet next?

- I adored the visual design of Intertwine's title screen from the start. As I learned the flow of the game it became clear that it also held a fun secret. That mechanic was delightful and unexpected. And also incredibly fun!

- As Van once said... "Fuck, this is embarrassing."

So, I think every CG scene got a surprised gasp out of me. The artwork is so lovely to stare at. There wasn't a single moment where I wasn't impressed!

- I know I already pointed out how special the writing is, but I need to throw extra confetti praise over the banter. This is probably my personal favorite aspect of Intertwine. The banter is so well done!

There's a lifetime where the player and Van are coworkers who hate each other, and then briefly worm their way into each other's hearts. I adored this change, and the chance at being a bit mean. There's something thrilling about a love that bloomed from a seed planted in frustration.

I would share some of my favorite lines from that lifetime, but I'm afraid that I would end up with 80% of that section posted here. I took so many screenshots.

~~~

Intertwine came out swinging and hit a home run. Now I could be biased as a hopeless romantic, but this is my blog. It's safe to say that Intertwine leaves a lasting impression and going straight onto my Best Games of 2023 list!

This piece was originally posted on July 19th, 2023 at rachelsnotebook.wixsite.com

[rachelsnotebook]

Taking a Bite out of Otome Jam 2023

Duskbound by nefferinthia

This story orbits two characters that are bound together in the midst of a city shrouded in an endless night. How they navigate their meeting is decided by the player and results in five different endings.

Duskbound never overstays its welcome. The short nature of this game perfectly compliments the replayability and time loop nature of the plot. Each branching path allows for different facets of the overarching mystery to shine brilliantly.

Our starring characters, Pale One and Vergilius, manage to leave a lasting impression quickly. Pale One is controlled by the player, and with each choice Vergilius reacts accordingly. For example, if your lovestruck feelings coil and fall apart fearfully, his behavior sprints to a frightening territory. And alternatively, if you wave your own red flags...his won't seem so menacing in comparison.

Reasons to Love

- I personally really enjoyed Pale One's questionable actions. Understandably, the game's short length doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room. We need these two in the same place and interacting, and yet, Pale One running to this stranger's door felt natural. Impulsive, yes, but believable. Who hasn't daydreamed about chasing after a missed connection?

I love this for her! She can continue to lean into this fated love and turn a blind eye to the warning signs, or she can backtrack into reality.

No matter what, each path felt seamless and fit together for the final ending. And despite a few lingering questions, I walked away from Duskbound wonderfully satisfied with the story.

- This game quickly put me in a chokehold with it's sun and moon imagery. I'm a simple woman. If you evoke the sun, the moon, or the stars...I'm at your mercy.

On top of that, I adored the reversal of expectation. Our mortal woman is referred to as Pale One, like the moon. While Vergilius is a vampire, and he's her sun.

- From the moment you click Start the game presents you with an optional warning screen. This kind of thoughtful safety net is highly appreciated. It's easy to miss information and Duskbound made it incredibly simple to take a minute to either prepare yourself or choose to jump directly into the game.

- I can't praise the writing enough! I found myself constantly smiling to myself. There were so many lines I simply adored.

- The true ending. Who doesn't love unlockable secrets?

When this screen popped up I felt reinvigorated with excitement. I knew there was a secret ending, but I had no idea how to unlock it. So when the game told me it was ready for the next gameplay loop, I couldn't race back to the beginning fast enough.

~~~

Duskbound put me under it's spell, and I enjoyed every minute of my time spent in that trance.

This piece was originally posted on July 18th, 2023 at rachelsnotebook.wixsite.com

[rachelsnotebook]

This post is an adaption of what was called: Winter Roundup 2023.

The bulk of that post was a life update and some writing excerpts. In this transfers I'll be including the excerpts.

Fanfiction (Still in my Owl House obsession it seems!)

-Palistrom Heart (3,806 words)

Excerpt:

-Boyfriend Training (833 words)

Excerpt:

-Beneath The Endless Water (1,165 words)

- Chapters 1-3: The Love that Binds Us (4,399 words)

Excerpt:

Excerpt from an original piece I was working on at that time

This piece has been reworked for this posting, but originally posted on February 16th, 2023 at rachelsnotebook.wixsite.com

[rachelsnotebook]

How to Live with A Broken Heart

Grief is messy, like a spilled bottle of black ink. It spreads, and stains, and leaves a permanent mark on your life. It takes time to adjust to the change, and it takes time to heal.

And none of it's linear. Pain can come and go, and small things can open the doors to big memories.

As the story of When The Past Was Around unfolds, you find yourself in the midst of this part of life. In the protagonist's shoes, you must find a way to navigate these feelings and memories. And that's where the core gameplay mechanic comes in as a point-and-click puzzle game.

Everything moves at your own pace. The beautiful art of the visuals and the gorgeous soundtrack will quickly sweep you away in the gentleness of falling in love, and the despair of it falling apart.

At the end, may you find a strength to continue living and a will to carry your memories unburdened.

When The Past Was Around is a poignant piece. It's special and magical in the best ways imaginable.

This piece has been reworked for this posting, but originally posted on February 1st, 2023 at rachelsnotebook.wixsite.com

[rachelsnotebook]

Holiday Journey

I never knew a holiday could break.

For years things went by predictably: dinner at one, three rounds of tug-of-war over the TV, and silent prayers that this wouldn’t be the year someone snapped, again.

It may have been strange and stressful, but that was home.

As it was happening... I had no idea the memory I was gently holding onto and storing away as my new favorite was actually the last stop before I got lost and fell to the worst rock bottom of my life, so far.

In a rare change of events, I had plans one holiday weekend that took me several hours away from my usual spot on the couch. Understandably, I was psyched to catch up with my friends I hadn’t seen in ages.

My mature, twenty-something year old self was practically bouncing out of my grandparents’ house, wanting it to be the next day already. On the way out, my grandpa decided to make my treat bag that year. Like any sane person, I prioritized crescent rolls over nearly all other holiday foods so it became an unofficial tradition that I was given a part of what was left in the bread basket at the end of the night.

Most years my grandma would piece it together. And she wasn’t exactly secretive that it was because she needed to make sure she kept exactly the treats she wanted. That year her voice carried across the living room and pierced through the wall into the kitchen while my grandpa hurried to throw the bag together. It didn’t matter that she could barely see what was even happening. I know she was ready to go to war over that platter of brownies.

Unfazed, my grandpa brushed off her raised voice and shrugged how nobody wanted her chocolate. And he was right. My sights were set on the crescent rolls.

He turned and handed me a stuffed, zipped bag with strict orders to bring it with me that next day. We both knew depending on traffic that the long drive could be even longer and I’d need these supplies.

And I did. The glass nearly splintered the second I screeched with joy when I discovered the brownies he carefully hid among all the flaky, bread goodness.

There were many things he left unsaid over the course of his life, and oftentimes he purposely kept his hearing aid turned off just so he could have peace in his own home, but the true extent of his feelings could always be found in actions. Like this one.

Or the time he equipped me like an assassin with the amount of knives he bought for my college apartment.

Or how he gave me a real metal hammer, but a perfect size for my five year old hand.

Or how we’d pass books back and forth for the majority of my life as a book club of two.

That final book ended up being one of my favorite childhood stories. It brought me joy when I was small and afraid of the dark. I hoped the magic would bring him comfort while he was in the hospital. His bookmark took up residence three chapters in. I read around it last time.

If he was there that next Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or Easter… I honestly can’t remember anymore. The brain is an unusual thing. When it’s hurt, it eats away so much more than anyone ever warns you about.

It wasn’t long before the holidays stopped altogether.

My grandma decided she was done cooking, but she also didn’t want anyone else to do it. The phone began to ring less. The car kept falling apart. And the cracks grew until the whole thing shattered.

Holding onto the pieces, it’s difficult not to let my mind return to that last time everything felt okay. It almost feels like I’m tethered to that old memory, watching the world roll by the car window. A sense of home pulling me down the road. I keep thinking to myself that maybe one day I'll reach my destination, and there will be something worth celebrating when I get there.

Author's Notes:

I'll be honest...I still don't know what to make of this one.

My nephew is turning five soon, so that means this mother's day marks the Five Year anniversary of my grandpa's passing. I've been struggling to put my feelings into words since then. I can't explain why. No one has ever asked me to do this, but each winter I find myself here: a jumble of thoughts, a bitter taste in my mouth, an anger and feeling of loss I don't understand how to navigate.

I was mid way through my Thanksgiving, which consisted of a bag of potato chips and watching A Christmas Story on loop, when I began throwing thoughts down in a note app on my phone. Over the next several weeks I picked, and poked until I couldn't look at this string of words anymore.

I wanted to share this before Christmas, and then before the New Year. I'll take 2am on February 1st. This is a part of my journey, and maybe next winter I'll find a bit more peace revisiting this stop.

///

This piece has been reworked for this posting, but originally posted on February 1st, 2023 at rachelsnotebook.wixsite.com

[rachelsnotebook]

To Pyrrah

Translation

Horace, Odes 1.5

///

Who is that scrawny boy, saturated in the fragrance of roses,

that presses against you, Pyrrah, underneath that inviting grotto?

Is he the reason why your plain, golden hair is styled so elegantly?

Oh, how often will he soon cry about fickle faith and fickle gods,

your insolence like a dark, stormy sea will leave him standing there appalled;

This boy who now unsuspectingly delights in your golden hair,

who’s mind is free of doubt, and words are laced with promises to be worthy of your love.

This boy who is completely ignorant of your golden deception.

Wretched are those who don’t know about your shine.

As for me, look to the sacred wall where my wet clothes are suspended in the breeze

as an offering to the powerful god of the sea.

And my testament of a terrible storm weathered.

This piece was originally posted on October 1st, 2022 at rachelsnotebook.wixsite.com

[rachelsnotebook]

This post is an adaption of two updates (August 31st, 2022 & September 23rd, 2022).

Since I've chosen not to include the parts about my personal life in this transfer, I decided to combine the fanfiction parts of the original posts.

My Owl House obsession was still going strong then!

-A Golden Crown (1,123 words)

Excerpt:

-Chapters 1-4: Children of the Witches You Couldn't Kill (8,542 words)

[rachelsnotebook]

A Look Back - Monthly Dragon Oracle

Earlier in the year, I spent some time learning a few new tricks in GB Studio and made a couple daily fortune telling games to entertain my friends.

These games ended up being a really fun way to utilize many of the random doodles and silly thoughts in the margin of my notebooks.

The weird comedy ended up bringing some much needed joy during the winter months too!

The February Fortunes Revealed!

Your February day will be bright and sunny. I'd say warm and sunny but that's not fair. I’m cold. I'll add +10 luck to your monthly stats if you bring me a blanket!

Lay down on the floor and count the heartbeats in your chest. When you're ready, rise. You got this!

The wrath of a mother who asked the trash to be taken out two days ago and it didn't get done will permeate your day, today.

You're dreaming of love today. Specifically the love of a well cooked noodle!

Dunk your head under a running faucet. Watch all your worries wash away.

I see bees. So many bees in your future. I'm jealous!

Lay down on the floor and count the heartbeats in your chest. Now roll over onto your tummy! Do you see any buttons or coins? You never know where fortune can be hiding. Between you and me.....both are valuable currencies on the fae market.

You will be tested, but you will make it. And you will find joy again.

I see….success in word based puzzles.

Emails will find your nemesis and fill their inbox for weeks to come.

Can you feel the frost nipping at your nose? You will. And then I might take a bite too.

If you unclench your jaw, good fortune will strengthen your teeth.

For every random act of kindness you will receive blessings from the angel of Thursday!

The worst curse of all is in your future. TUMMY ACHE!!!

You're dreaming of love today. The love of a good night's rest. Insomnia will lose in a parking lot brawl at the nearest pancake establishment!

A new skill is in your reach. Take a break and let your hands create!

A strange creature will see their shadow and curse us all until next February!

Vaccines add +50 beauty AND intelligence to your lifetime stats.

I see mud in your future. It's good for elementary level potions!

I see growth. I see you being gentle with yourself today.

You are cursed with dehydration.

Today you'll take a moment to let your head float up to the clouds. Dream. It’s safe.

Watch where you step today! It's rude to wander into a fairy circle without a proper gift. You'll likely need it to bargain for your life!

If you leave snacks out for the nightmare shadows, mice will come.

Support trans rights!!! It adds +10000 being a decent person to your lifetime stats.

I see something cold falling from the sky. It'll kiss your cheeks and you'll feel healed.

You are loved. And nothing and nobody can take that from you.

Every mysterious ache and pain is from a fight that you've lost against a ghost. Wow. They're really good at kicking your butt!

I see geese biting your butt to SHREDS every time you don't wash your hands.

I bless you with a really good eraser this month. It'll find its way to you.

The March Fortunes Revealed!

Fortune will favor those who are kind from the chaotic depths of their heart. Rather than those who are nice, because it’s routine or good behavior.

I see you showering your local library with love! Did you know I love books? They’re chewy!

Did you know red sapphires have a super special name? They’re called a ruby. It’s tru-by!

Ugh, it's March. M.U.D season. Huh? You know…. Mud Under Dragon-foot. It's the worst, but our future.

Have you looked in a mirror yet today? There's someone there who's cheering for you.

Communities are an all hands on deck situation. Find the weak points and strengthen them. Until everyone is fed, clothed, housed, and safe there can't be any peace. No freedom.

The Romans used to call this month: Martius. It was in honor of the God, Mars. May his warrior spirit weave over you like a shield and strengthen you this month.

Don't forget to look up at the night sky. I'm told there's a worm up there!

I see great joy for you today. In a good story, a delicious meal, a loyal friend. It's all waiting at your fingertips.

If you leave a thimble of water out next to your bed, then you’ll likely remember your dreams more vividly. It’ll distract the dream moths from chewing holes into your subconscious.

You’re cursed with a simple typo in all your emails today!

For +50 memory to your monthly stats, carry a sprig of rosemary.

Have you ever wondered where missing socks end up? It’s supposed to be a secret, but they went to war on the traitorous side of being stinky.

I see a single daffodil taking root in the center of your skull. With a gentle patience more could bloom.

Your upstairs neighbor will take a break from their nightly ritual of dropping bowling balls.

Love comes in many forms. The tap, tap, tap rhythm of your heart is my favorite.

Mwah! You've been blessed with the kiss-kiss sparkle rainbow dragon beam.

-There's now a rainbow sticker on your forehead!

The might of a dragon's jaw pressure adds +100 bite power to your stats. You have my permission to take a dragon chomp out of anyone who lays a malevolent hand on you.

Your old wounds will heal. And new buds will sprout and bloom in their place.

Be gentle. It’ll piss off your enemies that they can’t stop you.

On your darkest days know that I'll be there. Specifically spiritually and with a bag of popcorn. And I'll be rooting for you. Always!

I see you dreaming of delicious foods for tomorrow. I'll grant you +10 friendship if you share with me!

Shhhh....do you hear that? My slice of the world is coming alive from it's winter slumber. I see wondrous life stretching their limbs in your homeland.

The seasons are spinning like a dance. And I don’t see many toe stomps in your near future.

*Whoooooosh* I’ve put you under my support trans rights spell! Congrats!

No matter how hard they try, your nemesis will be cursed with chapped lips today!

Unclench your jaw and have a snack instead! I recommend something sour like my mood if you grind those teeth!!!

Did you know that starlight dances on your eyelashes and kisses your skin while you sleep? The stars love you a lot.

I see a crown of jonquil in your hair. It's beauty will bring you and your loved ones luck.

Stay strong. Better days are coming. I swear!

This piece has been reworked for this posting, but originally posted on August 31st, 2022 at rachelsnotebook.wixsite.com

[rachelsnotebook]

Early Thoughts from the Digital World

Digimon Survive is a visual novel with an added tactics RPG mechanic sprinkled on top. This is an insanely cool fusion for an IP that I love dearly. And I desperately want to see more games like this in the future!

Now, since Digimon Survive is densely packed with a story I don't want to rush or spoil, this will be a first thoughts piece.

Don't worry, there's still a lot to praise and talk about. Digimon Survive presents itself in a really cool way.

The presentation

It's visually stunning! Between the choices, cut scenes, and anime-like intro sequence, the player will feel like an active participant within an actual Digimon anime.

And for me personally, that was one of the coolest emotions a video game has ever sparked within my soul.

Save Slots and Choice System

Digimon Survive is made to be played again, and again, and again. The choices you're presented with play into the morality system, and your bonds to the other characters will be influenced here.

Down the road these choices add up and decide who lives, who dies, and which ending you've fallen into.

Luckily, to accommodate this branching story the game offers tons of save file slots. So if you're like me and enjoy exploring the various options all at once, you can freely do that too.

The UI and little details

The menus and maps are clear, organized, and simply a joy to look at. They're framed as being viewed through the cell phone of the playable character. And I have to say, that there's a really nice flow to that idea. It fits really well!

The main menu changes to reflect how many characters you've found, and I've heard that it also changes when characters die.

That simple design choice makes the journey feel special. I'm definitely a fan of it!

Another simple design choice I adored immediately was this pop up:

As someone who impulsively presses buttons too much, I appreciated this quick pause. No more missing cut scenes. No more frustration. Just a quick, safety net.

The backlog

Digimon Survive is broken up into episodes, and with a whole lot of story to keep in mind, the backlog becomes vital. This mechanic lets the player familiarize themself with where they left off in the story. It doesn't cover the entirety of the save file, but it does allow the player to read more than you'd expect.

Life is messy and busy, and there's never enough hours in a day. So I'm hugely behind this mechanic. More games need something like this, so you don't have to restart a file from scratch because it's been six months since you last picked it up.

This piece has been reworked for this posting, but originally posted on August 26th, 2022 at rachelsnotebook.wixsite.com

[rachelsnotebook]

Unusual Words You Might've Noticed On My Social Media

This is adapted from a post originally from August 2022. My social media has changed in ways since then, so I'm not sure how many of these are floating around.

I love language, and so I felt these were worth sharing. (Fun fact: I studied Ancient Attic Greek in College!)

-Χαίρετε

This verb in the 2nd person plural imperative comes from the ancient Greek word χαίρω. In a basic sense it's used to express the action of rejoicing or taking pleasure in something.

This form in particular is used as a greeting: Hello everyone and goodbye everyone!

-Χαριδωτης

This noun in the nominative case literally means joy-giver. The χαρά - joy and delight, half is actually related to the verb χαίρω.

-ἀστέρων πάντων ὀ κάλλιστος

It's a fragment from Sappho 104B that means: the loveliest of all the stars.

ἀστήρ - star

πᾶς - all

καλός - beautiful

-ἀστράρχη

This translates to queen of stars.

I'm quite fond of astronomy, if you can't already tell <3

-Lychnobite

This unique word is used to describe someone who works at night and sleeps during the day.

I've struggled with my day-night cycles since the day I was born. I personally prefer the quiet of night, so I thought this was a fitting word to describe myself.

This word is crafted from:

λύχνος - lamp

βίος - life

-εὐάστερος - rich in stars

[rachelsnotebook]

This post is an adaption of what was called: Summer Roundup 2022.

I've chosen not to include my life updates in this transfer over to the new blog space. It feels silly.

But the bulk of that original post included excerpts from the fanfictions I wrote during that period. And I'm still really happy with those pieces, so I'm definitely going to move those here.

Looks like I was in the middle of an Owl House binge!

-He's Nice (7,182 words)

Excerpt:

-Worlds Apart (9,331 words)

Excerpt:

[rachelsnotebook]

Early Thoughts in the Stars

Virgo Vs The Zodiac was a day 1 buy for me on PC, but unfortunately right after that my laptop had problems. So, there was an annoying delay before the stars were in my favor.

Right off the bat, there's a ton of things that this game does that I want to talk about. Hence, why we're here for an early thought piece:

The visuals and UI

The pixel art, the color palettes, the UI... it's all gorgeous! Everything is an utter delight to look at, and believe me, I've spent a lot of time just trying to explore and interact with every object on the map.

There's a Save Dinosaur

Besides being the coolest idea for the save and load menus, there's also ample room to accommodate the branching choices the game offers you.

The Battle System

The turn based battles are somewhat overwhelming at first, but once it clicks the system is really fun! You have both a health bar and a purity bar to manage.

Purity can work as a shield and as a way to earn a bonus counter attack, but that also depends on timed button input.

There's also a rock-paper-scissors system at play as well.

I highly recommend visiting this article. It does an amazing job explaining this system in way better detail!

The Humor

I may be early on, but it's obvious that this game is packed with characters and objects to interact with. Most things will bring up unique dialogue and descriptions, and the best part is that it's often quite funny!

Bonus update: Since writing this, Virgo Vs the Zodiac has also released on the Nintendo Switch!

This piece has been reworked for this posting, but originally posted on August 24th, 2022 at rachelsnotebook.wixsite.com

[rachelsnotebook]

Fragile Hope

What makes a person bring home and keep

the dying plants, the abandoned stuffed animals,

the mug that's been dropped and glued back together a dozen times?

I don't know, I lied and happened to glance at the mirror on the wall.

Every crack and flaw stared back at me with fragile hope.

One day it might be my turn.

-RHR

Originally posted on August 16th, 2022 at rachelsnotebook.wixsite.com