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This has become my diary.
Hello. No one but hi.
Im going back to school. Im LDS again. Im sobies! Going to the temple tomorrow š
Iām scared I wonāt get a good LDS man because of my past and I cried at testimony meeting.
I donāt do half the things I said I would doā¦
Trying to make that milly
Love love
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Bullying is not cool. I should have hurt you more. I should have been strategic⦠but I was scared of your evil, scared of the black who have thrown me out of the house, criticized and slapped me. Abuse is not cool.
Iām your victim no matter how annoying that word is.
You made it on my tumblr bitch and everyone loves you over me. What an ugly girl. I wish I would have punched you. Pushed you to the ground and slammed your head on the floor.
Maybe you would have been a paraplegic. Then you wouldnāt be so rude. However Iāve seen a girl who couldnāt talk and paralyzed black. Who still gave me the stink eye in a hospital setting.
I do not miss the hospital
I do not miss jail
I do not miss being your door mat
I do not miss this place Iāve been stuck in
My hope above all is to be able to relax enough to never go through that again. Stay on pharmaceuticals and obey.
Punch the bully for me? Scream at her faceā¦
The worst part is they all fucking love you. I was your only target. Just to put me down a notch⦠damn envy is wicked
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I just played a game of chess with someone and they cheated. Whatās the fun in that. Making me feel like a piece of shit for instant gratification. What a loser. Ugly clothes. Ugly face. Shitty poops. I just canāt imagine ever being with these people. A guy with no teeth asked me for sex. Ugh, then Iām dealing with a bratty woman who I have lots of things to and she still has a fucking attitude with me. What has my life come toā¦
I had sex with a guy while we did ketamine. He isnāt romantic and waited for me to be ready⦠not considerate. What the fuck.
The only thing I look forward to is my prayer group and even then Iām like five different religions. Also, I like hentai and drugs.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
I have two gay friends that share smokes with me š
I got the stuff to dread my hair yesterday!
I got new makeup!
Iām doing very well in scripture study and in my prayer group.
I get to go out to eat today and send a package to a friend.
I have lots of food and snacks
I get to chant, do yoga and go to an NA meeting today with my gay friend!
So life isnāt all that bad⦠I just wish I could cry, but Iām on too many medications.
It beats how trippy my life is when Iām not on my medicineā¦
Just why cheat on a fucking game ughhh. And that bitchy girl who thinks sheās on top of the whole world⦠because I smoke? Because I did coke and ketamine? Little bitch just MOVED or I will hit you.
Maybe he was just very strategic⦠but he did get to study.
Isnāt that cheating though? Taking a picture of the game so we can āfinish it later.ā
Hdhcidksbzkfbdjsnd
Trying to prevent anger. Thanks tumblr for listening.
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I lost a friend today⦠Iāve lost a lot of friends in my life. I have schizophrenia
Im crazy and Iāve done a lot of things that burned my bridges with a lot of people⦠so thatās my sad day.
#sadday #mental
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I took Suboxone for the first time today. I donāt have anyone to talk to, but tumblr is a safe place to tell my dirty little secret. Iām in a treatment center for homeless/crazy people. The people here are like my family! Iāve been getting closer with family too. Iām hiiiiigh and I just wanted to say that I appreciate you just for being on tumblr in the first place. I really think everyone who uses this app is baller! Pray that I donāt get caught for me pwease!!! Good vibes good vibes just holllly shit I feel amazing. Check out my blog! All the beautiful posts are from my deepest, most sincere heart. I couldnāt have made it through without the internet and all the love! š
#high #lovelife #bemyfriend #happy
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Made candy for my daughter ā¤ļøāš„ #candy #littleravegirlexpectations #prettyravegirl #plur
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I get to leave this hospital thatās been here since the 70ās. I get to smoke a cigarette! I get to keep my phone! I get to get closer to family, be outside. I went to jail June 5th and Iām finally gonna get to spend time outside! Soon I can work again and make an income. ā¤ļøāš„ good things are happeninā
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I havenāt written a poem in a while,
I havenāt read a book.
I havenāt been the best person I know I can be.
Right now I donāt deserve your love romantic man⦠but Iāll earn it. Iāll try to earn it even with a cigarette in my hand.
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Anything youād like or recommend for my TikTok channel dreams.
#alcohol #lovely #vibes
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