raintranslated

[raintranslated]

Fixed the link here! Thanks to the folks who pointed out that it was to Chapter 5 instead of Chapter 12, for some reason!

(P.S.: Chapter 14 is in-progress. 😁)

(A longer chapter! Finally. :) And it's, perhaps appropriately, an entire chapter (Chapter 12) instead of merely Chapter-12-part-1...)

[first chapter] [previous chapter] [next chapter]

[raintranslated]

Quick housekeeping tip: "not a translation" is my tag for posts or reblogs that aren't (new) translations.

"this friggin post" is a tag for something that is being reblogged repeatedly in a conversation.

(I also think I'm probably done with reblogging that particular "friggin" post, because... yeah, that person is almost certainly just a troll, and wasting all of our time! But for the future 🙂)

[raintranslated]

@inspectorpoe Uh-huh. Gosh, if only I had offered some sort of explanation for my translation of that line, like, maybe in this post you keep replying to, apparently without reading it...?

Idk, am I being trolled. Should I just stop responding. I should probably just stop responding, this has definitely crossed a line into disingenuous, and I doubt it's either fun or edifying for my followers.

Complete Best Regret Messages: Kallen

Read on Dreamwidth!

Extolling the Brave Chivalry of Youth[1]

Before I met you, I was really just irritated. I thought: "I want to change the world[2]," but though I lashed out, recklessly, I didn't actually believe I would be able to change anything.

When I lost my brother, it was like a heavy door had slammed shut behind me. I wasn't going to let that go. I'd fight to the bitter end. There'd be no going back, I decided. And then, someday, I'd die — just like my brother had. To the end, Kouzuki Kallen would follow no leader, serve no master[3]. Dimly, I'd thought that small, stubborn pride would be the end of me. But then: like a morning star coming into view, you called for me[4].

Whenever I was doing something for your sake, I felt lighter. No battle was too difficult. Whenever you directed us to a battlefield, I came running, wanting to be the first one there[5]. I wanted to become a lion, to rip your enemies apart with my teeth. To dirty myself with any amount of muck[6], so long as it cleared the way for you.

It's strange, really, if you think about it. It was supposed to be about loathing — and fighting against — Britannian despotism, but before I knew it, I had all this personal loyalty to you[7].

Hey, Lelouch. That last moment we had together, with that kiss… Well, if you'd said I love you[8] back then, it wouldn't have mattered if it was a lie — I still would have followed you all the way into your personal hell. But you already knew that, didn't you?

Not very characteristic of you, was it. Wasn't manipulating people by saying that sort of thing one of your talents…? Yeah, that was so uncharacteristically… gentle.[9] Is that what you were trying to say, when you told me to live on…?

Even though that sort of gentleness isn't at all why I fell for you[10], heh[11].

Translation notes below the cut. Original Japanese text for you to check yourself transcribed from the above image available at my Dreamwidth link.

[1] This is the title of the first ending theme; other regret messages similarly take their titles from theme songs. This was released as part of an Original Soundtrack CD, after all. [2] 現実=reality, to be more literal. [3] 支配者たちに従わなかった = serve/follow/obey no masters/leaders/rulers. IMHO this use of たち makes perfect sense in Japanese, but "serve no masters" sounds somewhat grammatically awkward. Importantly, given what Kallen is about to talk about, I think she's speaking somewhat ironically about how she'd made this small vow to herself, but was about to wind up following/serving/etc Zero. [4] The verb, 誘う, means to invite or to call for or to take someone along (and also to tempt/lure/entice/seduce); in this case, I think Kallen is referring both literally and metaphorically to Lelouch suddenly calling her on the radio in Stage 2 and guiding her to victory. [5] Sudden volitional form on this and the next three lines, indicating (in this context) Kallen's strong intention to do [whatever]. The switch here to present-tense isn't literal, but rather a common device in Japanese writing to add a sense of emphasis and immediacy, sort of like when an English sentence begins with "Suddenly…!" [6] Given the "title", likely a bit of a reference to the lyric 混濁の純潔この身は汚れても / Even if my purity is sullied and this self is dirtied. [7] だもの is a sentence ending that indicates a reason in a tone of protest, such as 14歳だものね = "You're fourteen," where the speaker is probably pointing out that the person they're talking to is too young (to stay out late, or whatever). In this case, the はずなのに + んだもの is definitely a complaint. She should have been focused on the larger war, but she wound up more focused on her personal loyalty to "Lelouch, ugh" — sort of a sentiment. (Though, I'm sure, affectionate now.) [8] Strong, dramatic phrasing here, because such strong dramatic phrasing would have swept Kallen off her feet and convinced her, as she elucidates, to follow him anywhere — even if it meant throwing away her morals and working for what she thought, at the time, was a mad tyrant. (Claims I've seen about this line, that Kallen wouldn't have even imagined Lelouch saying it hypothetically if she hadn't been completely sure he loved her — are extremely weird and based on nothing at all, lol.) [9] Again, the present-tense here adding emphasis. [10] 好きになった=to come to care about, to learn to like, to fall in love with. This phrase is used platonically as well as romantically (you can, for example, talk about developing a taste for beer this way). Kallen almost certainly means it romantically, of course, given all the givens — but she's not necessarily talking about deep love; this wording could very easily be a crush. [11] This and "Well" and a couple of other little flourishes have been added to the English in an attempt to convey the very casual tone of Kallen's entire message, which is full to the brim with ね: like she's talking casually, albeit in a heartfelt way, to a friend (or perhaps a boyfriend! if you want to interpret it that way!) — rather than writing a dramatic letter.

[raintranslated]

@inspectorpoe You're just embarrassing yourself at this point. I'm sorry Blottyparchment lied to you about this message — whether for internet clout or because they didn't think an accurate translation was shippy enough, who can say, but given their other translations were awkward but fine it's unlikely to be an honest error — but that's not actually my fault.

Complete Best Regret Messages: Kallen

Read on Dreamwidth!

Extolling the Brave Chivalry of Youth[1]

Before I met you, I was really just irritated. I thought: "I want to change the world[2]," but though I lashed out, recklessly, I didn't actually believe I would be able to change anything.

When I lost my brother, it was like a heavy door had slammed shut behind me. I wasn't going to let that go. I'd fight to the bitter end. There'd be no going back, I decided. And then, someday, I'd die — just like my brother had. To the end, Kouzuki Kallen would follow no leader, serve no master[3]. Dimly, I'd thought that small, stubborn pride would be the end of me. But then: like a morning star coming into view, you called for me[4].

Whenever I was doing something for your sake, I felt lighter. No battle was too difficult. Whenever you directed us to a battlefield, I came running, wanting to be the first one there[5]. I wanted to become a lion, to rip your enemies apart with my teeth. To dirty myself with any amount of muck[6], so long as it cleared the way for you.

It's strange, really, if you think about it. It was supposed to be about loathing — and fighting against — Britannian despotism, but before I knew it, I had all this personal loyalty to you[7].

Hey, Lelouch. That last moment we had together, with that kiss… Well, if you'd said I love you[8] back then, it wouldn't have mattered if it was a lie — I still would have followed you all the way into your personal hell. But you already knew that, didn't you?

Not very characteristic of you, was it. Wasn't manipulating people by saying that sort of thing one of your talents…? Yeah, that was so uncharacteristically… gentle.[9] Is that what you were trying to say, when you told me to live on…?

Even though that sort of gentleness isn't at all why I fell for you[10], heh[11].

Translation notes below the cut. Original Japanese text for you to check yourself transcribed from the above image available at my Dreamwidth link.

[1] This is the title of the first ending theme; other regret messages similarly take their titles from theme songs. This was released as part of an Original Soundtrack CD, after all. [2] 現実=reality, to be more literal. [3] 支配者たちに従わなかった = serve/follow/obey no masters/leaders/rulers. IMHO this use of たち makes perfect sense in Japanese, but "serve no masters" sounds somewhat grammatically awkward. Importantly, given what Kallen is about to talk about, I think she's speaking somewhat ironically about how she'd made this small vow to herself, but was about to wind up following/serving/etc Zero. [4] The verb, 誘う, means to invite or to call for or to take someone along (and also to tempt/lure/entice/seduce); in this case, I think Kallen is referring both literally and metaphorically to Lelouch suddenly calling her on the radio in Stage 2 and guiding her to victory. [5] Sudden volitional form on this and the next three lines, indicating (in this context) Kallen's strong intention to do [whatever]. The switch here to present-tense isn't literal, but rather a common device in Japanese writing to add a sense of emphasis and immediacy, sort of like when an English sentence begins with "Suddenly…!" [6] Given the "title", likely a bit of a reference to the lyric 混濁の純潔この身は汚れても / Even if my purity is sullied and this self is dirtied. [7] だもの is a sentence ending that indicates a reason in a tone of protest, such as 14歳だものね = "You're fourteen," where the speaker is probably pointing out that the person they're talking to is too young (to stay out late, or whatever). In this case, the はずなのに + んだもの is definitely a complaint. She should have been focused on the larger war, but she wound up more focused on her personal loyalty to "Lelouch, ugh" — sort of a sentiment. (Though, I'm sure, affectionate now.) [8] Strong, dramatic phrasing here, because such strong dramatic phrasing would have swept Kallen off her feet and convinced her, as she elucidates, to follow him anywhere — even if it meant throwing away her morals and working for what she thought, at the time, was a mad tyrant. (Claims I've seen about this line, that Kallen wouldn't have even imagined Lelouch saying it hypothetically if she hadn't been completely sure he loved her — are extremely weird and based on nothing at all, lol.) [9] Again, the present-tense here adding emphasis. [10] 好きになった=to come to care about, to learn to like, to fall in love with. This phrase is used platonically as well as romantically (you can, for example, talk about developing a taste for beer this way). Kallen almost certainly means it romantically, of course, given all the givens — but she's not necessarily talking about deep love; this wording could very easily be a crush. [11] This and "Well" and a couple of other little flourishes have been added to the English in an attempt to convey the very casual tone of Kallen's entire message, which is full to the brim with ね: like she's talking casually, albeit in a heartfelt way, to a friend (or perhaps a boyfriend! if you want to interpret it that way!) — rather than writing a dramatic letter.

[raintranslated]

@inspectorpoe

Torn between trying for the, like, sixth time now to explain to one of you folks that my objection to this particular kiss being called a "farewell kiss" is a semantic issue with the order of operations in the scene, and just being... completely exasperated that this is the hill we have all apparently chosen to die on, when it's almost the least of the problems with the original translation of this Regret Message.

As I have said now, twice, if the original translation had just included the word "When" in the sentence, that tiny fragment of their translation would've been fine. Inaccurate, in my opinion, to the scene, but not blatantly inaccurate to the Japanese, because yes, AS I HAVE REPEATEDLY SAID, 別れのキス by itself could be translated as parting/farewell/goodbye kiss. Or as "breakup kiss", because 別れる also means that sort of separation.

But:

ねえ、ルルーシュ。あの別れのキスの時、 Lelouch, about that parting kiss...

continues to be inaccurate, because it omits multiple words from the Japanese, changing both Kallen's tone and how this part connects to the rest of her sentence.

If for whatever reason you really need the sentence to contain "parting kiss", instead of how I translated it, which was "That last moment we had together, with that kiss...", then I would suggest: Hey, Lelouch, when we shared that parting kiss...

Or something like that.

Now, the original Regret Message translation would still have had half a dozen other problems, like translating イラついている as "plastered with thorns" instead of "being irritated"; like the strange editorializing about 嘘でもいいから and the stranger footnotes about 愛してる and わかってたでしょう？...

...but at least if they'd put a "when" in the right spot, their version wouldn't have confused people into thinking Kallen was talking about two separate instances, when she is clearly, in this Regret Message, talking about a hypothetical version of events where, after she asked him what she was to him and kissed him, Lelouch had said 愛してる — how if he'd done that, Kallen would have done anything for him, including participate in all the awfulness that led up to his public execution, which she would then have to live with, and which Lelouch not saying those words spared her from.

Are we done now, or am I going to get more replies on this post from people trying to get me to """admit""" that 別れのキス could be translated as parting kiss, lol, something I have never actually denied.

Complete Best Regret Messages: Kallen

Read on Dreamwidth!

Extolling the Brave Chivalry of Youth[1]

Before I met you, I was really just irritated. I thought: "I want to change the world[2]," but though I lashed out, recklessly, I didn't actually believe I would be able to change anything.

When I lost my brother, it was like a heavy door had slammed shut behind me. I wasn't going to let that go. I'd fight to the bitter end. There'd be no going back, I decided. And then, someday, I'd die — just like my brother had. To the end, Kouzuki Kallen would follow no leader, serve no master[3]. Dimly, I'd thought that small, stubborn pride would be the end of me. But then: like a morning star coming into view, you called for me[4].

Whenever I was doing something for your sake, I felt lighter. No battle was too difficult. Whenever you directed us to a battlefield, I came running, wanting to be the first one there[5]. I wanted to become a lion, to rip your enemies apart with my teeth. To dirty myself with any amount of muck[6], so long as it cleared the way for you.

It's strange, really, if you think about it. It was supposed to be about loathing — and fighting against — Britannian despotism, but before I knew it, I had all this personal loyalty to you[7].

Hey, Lelouch. That last moment we had together, with that kiss… Well, if you'd said I love you[8] back then, it wouldn't have mattered if it was a lie — I still would have followed you all the way into your personal hell. But you already knew that, didn't you?

Not very characteristic of you, was it. Wasn't manipulating people by saying that sort of thing one of your talents…? Yeah, that was so uncharacteristically… gentle.[9] Is that what you were trying to say, when you told me to live on…?

Even though that sort of gentleness isn't at all why I fell for you[10], heh[11].

Translation notes below the cut. Original Japanese text for you to check yourself transcribed from the above image available at my Dreamwidth link.

[1] This is the title of the first ending theme; other regret messages similarly take their titles from theme songs. This was released as part of an Original Soundtrack CD, after all. [2] 現実=reality, to be more literal. [3] 支配者たちに従わなかった = serve/follow/obey no masters/leaders/rulers. IMHO this use of たち makes perfect sense in Japanese, but "serve no masters" sounds somewhat grammatically awkward. Importantly, given what Kallen is about to talk about, I think she's speaking somewhat ironically about how she'd made this small vow to herself, but was about to wind up following/serving/etc Zero. [4] The verb, 誘う, means to invite or to call for or to take someone along (and also to tempt/lure/entice/seduce); in this case, I think Kallen is referring both literally and metaphorically to Lelouch suddenly calling her on the radio in Stage 2 and guiding her to victory. [5] Sudden volitional form on this and the next three lines, indicating (in this context) Kallen's strong intention to do [whatever]. The switch here to present-tense isn't literal, but rather a common device in Japanese writing to add a sense of emphasis and immediacy, sort of like when an English sentence begins with "Suddenly…!" [6] Given the "title", likely a bit of a reference to the lyric 混濁の純潔この身は汚れても / Even if my purity is sullied and this self is dirtied. [7] だもの is a sentence ending that indicates a reason in a tone of protest, such as 14歳だものね = "You're fourteen," where the speaker is probably pointing out that the person they're talking to is too young (to stay out late, or whatever). In this case, the はずなのに + んだもの is definitely a complaint. She should have been focused on the larger war, but she wound up more focused on her personal loyalty to "Lelouch, ugh" — sort of a sentiment. (Though, I'm sure, affectionate now.) [8] Strong, dramatic phrasing here, because such strong dramatic phrasing would have swept Kallen off her feet and convinced her, as she elucidates, to follow him anywhere — even if it meant throwing away her morals and working for what she thought, at the time, was a mad tyrant. (Claims I've seen about this line, that Kallen wouldn't have even imagined Lelouch saying it hypothetically if she hadn't been completely sure he loved her — are extremely weird and based on nothing at all, lol.) [9] Again, the present-tense here adding emphasis. [10] 好きになった=to come to care about, to learn to like, to fall in love with. This phrase is used platonically as well as romantically (you can, for example, talk about developing a taste for beer this way). Kallen almost certainly means it romantically, of course, given all the givens — but she's not necessarily talking about deep love; this wording could very easily be a crush. [11] This and "Well" and a couple of other little flourishes have been added to the English in an attempt to convey the very casual tone of Kallen's entire message, which is full to the brim with ね: like she's talking casually, albeit in a heartfelt way, to a friend (or perhaps a boyfriend! if you want to interpret it that way!) — rather than writing a dramatic letter.

[raintranslated]

Also, unironically:

the real victory here is the friends you made along the way.

I met my current partner because we were both Code Geass fans back in the day, and that first conversation, which lasted for hours, was absolutely about our shared favorite ship. Now we've been living together for years, and our interest in the fandom itself waxes and wanes — but it will always be special to both of us because it's literally how we met.

So, I declare myself retroactively the real winner of this particular ship war. Anyone with a similar story is welcome to share my crown. 😌

(And yes, lifelong friends absolutely counts.)

Man the ship wars for this anime that ended almost twenty years ago really are alive and well, huh.

Anyway, here's your friendly reminder that it literally does not matter what was "most canon", there isn't a Fandom Police Force that's gonna come to your house and arrest you for liking a different ship than the one that became "endgame".

It's okay. I promise. You can just like what you like without it needing to be The True Couple.

[raintranslated]

And don't forget Lost Colors, the officially licensed tie-in game that predated Lost Stories, where your (male) silent protagonist can date him, albeit in a heavily-subtextual,-it's-2008 sort of way.

Man the ship wars for this anime that ended almost twenty years ago really are alive and well, huh.

Anyway, here's your friendly reminder that it literally does not matter what was "most canon", there isn't a Fandom Police Force that's gonna come to your house and arrest you for liking a different ship than the one that became "endgame".

It's okay. I promise. You can just like what you like without it needing to be The True Couple.

[raintranslated]

Man the ship wars for this anime that ended almost twenty years ago really are alive and well, huh.

Anyway, here's your friendly reminder that it literally does not matter what was "most canon", there isn't a Fandom Police Force that's gonna come to your house and arrest you for liking a different ship than the one that became "endgame".

It's okay. I promise. You can just like what you like without it needing to be The True Couple.

[raintranslated]

Exactly! And thank you for the kind words 🙂 And.... yeah, the original translation is something else, heh. Nunnally's doesn't look anywhere near as odd to me, but I haven't read it closely yet. So many back chapters of Re;surrection manga to go, and data books, and Lost Colors and the novels...! But I'll come back to these, for sure.

Code Geass Complete Best Regret Message // Nunnally & Kallen // Canon

The Complete Best Regret messages, also known as character poems, are message left from various characters to Lelouch, after his death through Zero Requiem. Those are available within the Complete Best OST Which gathers some of the best OST of the show.

They offer us a nice last view of their thoughts and feelings directed to Lelouch, after his tragic end. Each of the letter are written and illustrated with a rough sketch of the character in their predominant color, and the first page of the booklet is a very nice sketch of Lelouch.

Each of the message have a title taken after a Code Geass opening or ending, Let's start with Nunnally.

Nunnally Lamperouge / vi Britannia - Mozaiku Kakera (Mosaic Shards) // Ending 2

I have been thinking about the many things that you have given me.

They can’t be counted on my fingers, for each and every one that I count, a stone is left. Lining them up, the stones can be pieced together into a mosaic. But, I will not do that. I don’t want to. (1) I will continue to count them piece by piece, always remembering their shape, their color and their touch. (2)

Even these dreams, that kindness, our rendezvous, those lies, mistakes…. Even that voice, the warmth in those hands that grasped mine, even the loneliness, the twistedness, the pain in my chest. Even that silence. Even those eyes.

Everything, I will hold dear.

Even if you had not given me many things, I could not give you anything in return. You gave me everything and you ended up leaving.

In those happy days, we did not even say “Thank you” nor “I’m sorry” between us. Those words would only invoke sadness. Your heart would grow far away. Just like that, you were myself, and I was you.

However, that day, the words you have told me still remains in my ears. You didn’t even let me reply. That’s why, while hearing your voice ringing in my ear, I will answer you from the bottom of my heart.

I love you too. (3)

(1) Lit.: I do not want to bring them (stones) together. (2) Lit.: One by one, I will continue to count them; their shape, color, and touch, I will continue to feel throughout. (1) Broken up into two sentences in the original Japanese: Aishiteru. Anata wo. (I love. You.) Translation by Blottyparchment.

Kallen Kozuki / Stadtfeld - Yuukyou Seishunka (Extolling the Brave Chivalry of Youth) // Ending 1

Until I met you, I was only merely plastered with thorns. I wanted to change this truth. I seethingly and recklessly acted. But then, I didn’t believe that anything would come out of it.

When my brother was gone, I heard the sound of the heavy doors closing behind me. I cannot allow it. I will fight to the bitter end. I decided that I would not go back. Then, someday, I would have died like my brother.

Until the very end, Kouzuki Kallen would not abide by authority. That bit of willpower I was carrying with me, it slipped away from me, and I can feel it faintly. At that moment, I envisioned you as the star at the break of dawn, inviting me.

If I would think that this is for you, my body would feel light. Whatever struggles there were, the pain would go away. I would be the first to come rushing to your battlefield, raging like a lioness, crushing your enemies. I would stand being muddied so that I could create a path for you.

Looking back, it’s mysterious. Even though I should have loathed and rebelled against Britannia’s tyranny. Without knowing it, I held personal devotion only for you.

Lelouch, that parting kiss, even if it was a lie, if you had said, “I love you,” (1)(2) I would even follow you to hell. You knew that, didn’t you?

It’s not like you. You’re good at manipulating people just by your words. Really, it’s not like you to be kind. Is that why you told me to 'live on’? I fell in love with you (3) not just because of that kindness.

(1) Kallen uses the word 'aishiteru' here. It is a word that carries strong weight in Japanese and is not simply used to express love. You may say 'suki' and mean love, but 'aishiteru' is used between two intimate lovers, and within the show, only between Lelouch and Nunnally. (2) In japanese you emphasize on the end of a line; the "Even if it was a lie" is there to show how great her love for him was, the "wakatteta deshou" means Kallen was quite sure the "Aishiteru" would have come, had he not been kind with her. (3)The love here is 'suki ni naru' Translation by Blottyparchment & Lie

Hope you enjoyed.

[raintranslated]

I think you did a great job of explaining what I was trying to say when I bolded the のとき in my sentence. 😊

For the record, if the original translation above had been, "Lelouch, when we had that parting kiss, if you'd said 'I love you' to me then..." — I wouldn't have found it so head-scratching. It would be closer to the ambiguity of the original Japanese. And absolutely, your version would've removed that ambiguity to make it more clearly talking about the kiss, rather than the moment surrounding the kiss (and their farewell).

With that "when" omitted, though, the original translation really is also just needlessly confusing. It obscures that the moment with the kiss and the moment with the hypothetical 愛してる are the same moment.

Also, to reiterate, I dislike how much of the casualness, the conversational tone, of Kallen's message was omitted. Yes, the ね that dots her speech here is... perfectly typical of Kallen's normal way of speaking in the show — which was my point. The way the message was originally translated isn't typical of her normal speech: it's stiff and dramatic and strange.

And that's before we get to more specific weirdness, like trying to make わかってたでしょう？(a question Kallen was clearly directing at Lelouch) into an expression of Kallen's own supposed certainty that Lelouch would definitely have said 愛してる to her — or イラついてる being translated as "plastered with thorns" instead of... "being irritated".

I'd like to apologize for the tone of my original reblog: I was flabbergasted and a lot of very old annoyance came bubbling up to the surface about the, like, decade I spent in various fandoms, back before I knew any Japanese at all, where some people just... definitely took deliberate advantage of the fact that no one else could fack-check their work to pretend "the original Japanese version" said things that better suited their personal biases, usually 'ships.

This is also why I try to make sure my translations leave the original Japanese intact as much as possible (some of the translations I've done of the novels are just too long, sigh), because I never want to be one of those high-and-mighty people, telling folks who can't read Japanese to "trust me, bro".

Google Translate isn't perfect, but between it and the many online dictionaries, I hope my readers feel empowered to check important sentences for themselves, too. 🥲

Code Geass Complete Best Regret Message // Nunnally & Kallen // Canon

The Complete Best Regret messages, also known as character poems, are message left from various characters to Lelouch, after his death through Zero Requiem. Those are available within the Complete Best OST Which gathers some of the best OST of the show.

They offer us a nice last view of their thoughts and feelings directed to Lelouch, after his tragic end. Each of the letter are written and illustrated with a rough sketch of the character in their predominant color, and the first page of the booklet is a very nice sketch of Lelouch.

Each of the message have a title taken after a Code Geass opening or ending, Let's start with Nunnally.

Nunnally Lamperouge / vi Britannia - Mozaiku Kakera (Mosaic Shards) // Ending 2

I have been thinking about the many things that you have given me.

They can’t be counted on my fingers, for each and every one that I count, a stone is left. Lining them up, the stones can be pieced together into a mosaic. But, I will not do that. I don’t want to. (1) I will continue to count them piece by piece, always remembering their shape, their color and their touch. (2)

Even these dreams, that kindness, our rendezvous, those lies, mistakes…. Even that voice, the warmth in those hands that grasped mine, even the loneliness, the twistedness, the pain in my chest. Even that silence. Even those eyes.

Everything, I will hold dear.

Even if you had not given me many things, I could not give you anything in return. You gave me everything and you ended up leaving.

In those happy days, we did not even say “Thank you” nor “I’m sorry” between us. Those words would only invoke sadness. Your heart would grow far away. Just like that, you were myself, and I was you.

However, that day, the words you have told me still remains in my ears. You didn’t even let me reply. That’s why, while hearing your voice ringing in my ear, I will answer you from the bottom of my heart.

I love you too. (3)

(1) Lit.: I do not want to bring them (stones) together. (2) Lit.: One by one, I will continue to count them; their shape, color, and touch, I will continue to feel throughout. (1) Broken up into two sentences in the original Japanese: Aishiteru. Anata wo. (I love. You.) Translation by Blottyparchment.

Kallen Kozuki / Stadtfeld - Yuukyou Seishunka (Extolling the Brave Chivalry of Youth) // Ending 1

Until I met you, I was only merely plastered with thorns. I wanted to change this truth. I seethingly and recklessly acted. But then, I didn’t believe that anything would come out of it.

When my brother was gone, I heard the sound of the heavy doors closing behind me. I cannot allow it. I will fight to the bitter end. I decided that I would not go back. Then, someday, I would have died like my brother.

Until the very end, Kouzuki Kallen would not abide by authority. That bit of willpower I was carrying with me, it slipped away from me, and I can feel it faintly. At that moment, I envisioned you as the star at the break of dawn, inviting me.

If I would think that this is for you, my body would feel light. Whatever struggles there were, the pain would go away. I would be the first to come rushing to your battlefield, raging like a lioness, crushing your enemies. I would stand being muddied so that I could create a path for you.

Looking back, it’s mysterious. Even though I should have loathed and rebelled against Britannia’s tyranny. Without knowing it, I held personal devotion only for you.

Lelouch, that parting kiss, even if it was a lie, if you had said, “I love you,” (1)(2) I would even follow you to hell. You knew that, didn’t you?

It’s not like you. You’re good at manipulating people just by your words. Really, it’s not like you to be kind. Is that why you told me to 'live on’? I fell in love with you (3) not just because of that kindness.

(1) Kallen uses the word 'aishiteru' here. It is a word that carries strong weight in Japanese and is not simply used to express love. You may say 'suki' and mean love, but 'aishiteru' is used between two intimate lovers, and within the show, only between Lelouch and Nunnally. (2) In japanese you emphasize on the end of a line; the "Even if it was a lie" is there to show how great her love for him was, the "wakatteta deshou" means Kallen was quite sure the "Aishiteru" would have come, had he not been kind with her. (3)The love here is 'suki ni naru' Translation by Blottyparchment & Lie

Hope you enjoyed.

[raintranslated]

... Anyway,

ねえ、ルルーシュ。あの別れのキスのとき、嘘でもいいから「愛してる」って言ってくれたら、私はあなたの地獄についていったのにね。

is the actual line.

Bold for the part of the line where Kallen says "that time", and obviously the plain Japanese of it is ambiguous as to whether あの別れの is modifying キス[の] or whether all three are modifying とき. You could certainly also translate this line as, "When we kissed goodbye," except for the fact that the kiss was, contextually, not a goodbye kiss, owing to the fact that Kallen had not yet decided she was saying goodbye to Lelouch when she kissed him, and in fact only decided that she was going to walk away from him after the kiss, and in response to what she clearly interpreted, in the moment, as Lelouch's rejection of her.

Like. That's why she didn't follow him into his hell (あなたの地獄). Because he didn't kiss back and didn't say "I love you". This perceived rejection is exactly what Kallen is currently calling his gentleness (or his kindness, both are fine translations for 優しい though I personally prefer the former since I like to translate 親切 as kindness and I try to keep things consistent as much as I can).

The fact that he didn't kiss back and didn't tell her "I love you" does not, in itself, mean that Lelouch didn't love Kallen. Those are two completely different arguments. I am not making the second argument.

"No, Lelouch definitely kissed Kallen back, you can tell because their mouths are slightly parted! He used his tongue!" Okay, well, that's a strange thing for him to have done in this scene, and it's strange that it was followed by sad music, and it's strange that as Kallen stared into his eyes after the kiss was over, Lelouch's eyes were still (compared with her turbulent eye-wobble), and it's strange that Kallen then looked so sad and walked away instead of following him... especially since she is currently, in this Regret Message, saying that if she'd thought he'd loved her, she would have followed him...

Anyway, Kallen can, of course, interpret Lelouch telling her to live as a confession of love. As a viewer of the anime, I find that idea very distracting, because 生きろ！is exactly what Lelouch commanded Suzaku to do in Stage 18 (though we don't see the flashback until Stage 19), and then he told Shirley to 死ぬな！(don't die!) in Turn 13, so, whoa, Lelouch is just confessing his love all over the place, I guess Sayoko had it right when she set him up with those 108 dates, he really is a playboy... but Kallen doesn't know about either of those moments, so she might still have come to that conclusion? I suppose?

Code Geass Complete Best Regret Message // Nunnally & Kallen // Canon

The Complete Best Regret messages, also known as character poems, are message left from various characters to Lelouch, after his death through Zero Requiem. Those are available within the Complete Best OST Which gathers some of the best OST of the show.

They offer us a nice last view of their thoughts and feelings directed to Lelouch, after his tragic end. Each of the letter are written and illustrated with a rough sketch of the character in their predominant color, and the first page of the booklet is a very nice sketch of Lelouch.

Each of the message have a title taken after a Code Geass opening or ending, Let's start with Nunnally.

Nunnally Lamperouge / vi Britannia - Mozaiku Kakera (Mosaic Shards) // Ending 2

I have been thinking about the many things that you have given me.

They can’t be counted on my fingers, for each and every one that I count, a stone is left. Lining them up, the stones can be pieced together into a mosaic. But, I will not do that. I don’t want to. (1) I will continue to count them piece by piece, always remembering their shape, their color and their touch. (2)

Even these dreams, that kindness, our rendezvous, those lies, mistakes…. Even that voice, the warmth in those hands that grasped mine, even the loneliness, the twistedness, the pain in my chest. Even that silence. Even those eyes.

Everything, I will hold dear.

Even if you had not given me many things, I could not give you anything in return. You gave me everything and you ended up leaving.

In those happy days, we did not even say “Thank you” nor “I’m sorry” between us. Those words would only invoke sadness. Your heart would grow far away. Just like that, you were myself, and I was you.

However, that day, the words you have told me still remains in my ears. You didn’t even let me reply. That’s why, while hearing your voice ringing in my ear, I will answer you from the bottom of my heart.

I love you too. (3)

(1) Lit.: I do not want to bring them (stones) together. (2) Lit.: One by one, I will continue to count them; their shape, color, and touch, I will continue to feel throughout. (1) Broken up into two sentences in the original Japanese: Aishiteru. Anata wo. (I love. You.) Translation by Blottyparchment.

Kallen Kozuki / Stadtfeld - Yuukyou Seishunka (Extolling the Brave Chivalry of Youth) // Ending 1

Until I met you, I was only merely plastered with thorns. I wanted to change this truth. I seethingly and recklessly acted. But then, I didn’t believe that anything would come out of it.

When my brother was gone, I heard the sound of the heavy doors closing behind me. I cannot allow it. I will fight to the bitter end. I decided that I would not go back. Then, someday, I would have died like my brother.

Until the very end, Kouzuki Kallen would not abide by authority. That bit of willpower I was carrying with me, it slipped away from me, and I can feel it faintly. At that moment, I envisioned you as the star at the break of dawn, inviting me.

If I would think that this is for you, my body would feel light. Whatever struggles there were, the pain would go away. I would be the first to come rushing to your battlefield, raging like a lioness, crushing your enemies. I would stand being muddied so that I could create a path for you.

Looking back, it’s mysterious. Even though I should have loathed and rebelled against Britannia’s tyranny. Without knowing it, I held personal devotion only for you.

Lelouch, that parting kiss, even if it was a lie, if you had said, “I love you,” (1)(2) I would even follow you to hell. You knew that, didn’t you?

It’s not like you. You’re good at manipulating people just by your words. Really, it’s not like you to be kind. Is that why you told me to 'live on’? I fell in love with you (3) not just because of that kindness.

(1) Kallen uses the word 'aishiteru' here. It is a word that carries strong weight in Japanese and is not simply used to express love. You may say 'suki' and mean love, but 'aishiteru' is used between two intimate lovers, and within the show, only between Lelouch and Nunnally. (2) In japanese you emphasize on the end of a line; the "Even if it was a lie" is there to show how great her love for him was, the "wakatteta deshou" means Kallen was quite sure the "Aishiteru" would have come, had he not been kind with her. (3)The love here is 'suki ni naru' Translation by Blottyparchment & Lie

Hope you enjoyed.

[raintranslated]

You guys rlly don't realise how much knowledge is still not committed to the internet. I find books all the time with stuff that is impossible to find through a search engine- most people do not put their magnum opus research online for free and the more niche a skill is the less likely you are to have people who will leak those books online. (Nevermind all the books written prior to the internet that have knowledge that is not considered "relevant" enough to digitise).

Whenever people say that we r growing up with all the world's knowledge at our fingertips...it's not necessarily true. Is the amount of knowledge online potentially infinite? Yes. Is it all knowledge? No. You will be surprised at the niche things you can discover at a local archive or library.

[raintranslated]

Hm.

Anyway, for the record:

None of this means Lelouch didn't or couldn't have had feelings for Kallen, only that she didn't think he did when she kissed him; I would think that was the clear point of the scene, how her eyes were full of emotion afterwards and his eyes were still and unmoved. The fact that he cared about her (to whatever extent) is precisely why he didn't kiss her back in that moment, and tried to make her think he didn't care about her. This is what she refers to as "his gentleness": that he was carefully nonresponsive, rather than kissing her back or telling her he loved her, to spare her direct participation in the Zero Requeim.

別れのキス could mean parting kiss, but ねえ、ルルーシュ。あの別れのキスのとき is still not "Lelouch, about that parting kiss," because のとき changes the meaning. It's ambiguous as to whether あの別れの is modifying キス or とき, and regardless, the kiss was at most something that happened at around the same time as the parting, and...... not a goodbye kiss. For the reasons above, as well as the fact that there was a long pause after the kiss, where Kallen tried to gauge Lelouch's feelings for her, before she said goodbye and walked away from him. Two separate events. If she'd thought Lelouch returned her feelings, she wouldn't have said goodbye and walked away, ergo it was not, nor had it been intended to be, a goodbye kiss. Which doesn't detract from the romance of the scene, just from the romance of the kiss...

The "Word of God" to which I referred was indeed Koshimizu quoting Taniguchi to the other actors in a commentary track, rather than Taniguchi saying it directly himself, and it was about Kallen's reasons for kissing Lelouch rather than Lelouch's feelings... it was his attempt to explain to a young voice actor what her character's motivation was, after she expressed surprise that Kallen would kiss Lelouch at all. (Taniguchi is also now 0/2 here in terms of "actresses correctly intuiting that their characters were supposed to be harboring expressly romantic feelings for Lelouch", which is kind of funny to me personally!)

Also lbr, Taniguchi would hate his words being used this way, he's repeatedly shied away from directly answering this sort of question because, as he's said, he knows that his word carries a lot of weight, no matter how often he tries to tell people that their own interpretation is equally valid... so I guess if you want it to be a goodbye kiss, even despite everything above and how Kallen didn't know she was going to say goodbye until after the kiss was over, go for it? I guess??

愛してる is more dramatic than 好きだ and that is about the extent of the differences (and no, Code Geass isn't the only anime where siblings or other blood relatives have exchanged 愛してる's, and it can be used platonically by parents about their children, etc). None of which means that the imaginary 愛してる in this poem would have been platonic? Obviously it wouldn't have been...?

Regardless, here's a screenshot of my iPhone Japanese dictionary app, Weblio, and Jim Breen, you'll find similar example sentences elsewhere online:

You may note that, for clarity's sake, some of these sentences have added modifiers, like 愛し合ってる to specify mutual love, and 真に愛する to specify true love, and あなただけを愛し続ける to specify a unique, forever love... almost as if 愛してる doesn't convey all those things by itself, or something.

(Jim Breen's sentences database is in wide use, and explained here. Weblio has additional examples from various sources, like professional translations from English into Japanese of various works (for example, Twilight, lol). Don't mistake anything I'm saying here from claiming that you, as a non-native speaker, wouldn't startle a Japanese friend, or indeed romantic partner, by using 愛してる out of the blue; just understand that it's not a magic spell and doesn't convey some telepathic knowledge on Kallen's part about Lelouch's feelings, good grief.)

Complete Best Regret Messages: Kallen

Read on Dreamwidth!

Extolling the Brave Chivalry of Youth[1]

Before I met you, I was really just irritated. I thought: "I want to change the world[2]," but though I lashed out, recklessly, I didn't actually believe I would be able to change anything.

When I lost my brother, it was like a heavy door had slammed shut behind me. I wasn't going to let that go. I'd fight to the bitter end. There'd be no going back, I decided. And then, someday, I'd die — just like my brother had. To the end, Kouzuki Kallen would follow no leader, serve no master[3]. Dimly, I'd thought that small, stubborn pride would be the end of me. But then: like a morning star coming into view, you called for me[4].

Whenever I was doing something for your sake, I felt lighter. No battle was too difficult. Whenever you directed us to a battlefield, I came running, wanting to be the first one there[5]. I wanted to become a lion, to rip your enemies apart with my teeth. To dirty myself with any amount of muck[6], so long as it cleared the way for you.

It's strange, really, if you think about it. It was supposed to be about loathing — and fighting against — Britannian despotism, but before I knew it, I had all this personal loyalty to you[7].

Hey, Lelouch. That last moment we had together, with that kiss… Well, if you'd said I love you[8] back then, it wouldn't have mattered if it was a lie — I still would have followed you all the way into your personal hell. But you already knew that, didn't you?

Not very characteristic of you, was it. Wasn't manipulating people by saying that sort of thing one of your talents…? Yeah, that was so uncharacteristically… gentle.[9] Is that what you were trying to say, when you told me to live on…?

Even though that sort of gentleness isn't at all why I fell for you[10], heh[11].

Translation notes below the cut. Original Japanese text for you to check yourself transcribed from the above image available at my Dreamwidth link.

[1] This is the title of the first ending theme; other regret messages similarly take their titles from theme songs. This was released as part of an Original Soundtrack CD, after all. [2] 現実=reality, to be more literal. [3] 支配者たちに従わなかった = serve/follow/obey no masters/leaders/rulers. IMHO this use of たち makes perfect sense in Japanese, but "serve no masters" sounds somewhat grammatically awkward. Importantly, given what Kallen is about to talk about, I think she's speaking somewhat ironically about how she'd made this small vow to herself, but was about to wind up following/serving/etc Zero. [4] The verb, 誘う, means to invite or to call for or to take someone along (and also to tempt/lure/entice/seduce); in this case, I think Kallen is referring both literally and metaphorically to Lelouch suddenly calling her on the radio in Stage 2 and guiding her to victory. [5] Sudden volitional form on this and the next three lines, indicating (in this context) Kallen's strong intention to do [whatever]. The switch here to present-tense isn't literal, but rather a common device in Japanese writing to add a sense of emphasis and immediacy, sort of like when an English sentence begins with "Suddenly…!" [6] Given the "title", likely a bit of a reference to the lyric 混濁の純潔この身は汚れても / Even if my purity is sullied and this self is dirtied. [7] だもの is a sentence ending that indicates a reason in a tone of protest, such as 14歳だものね = "You're fourteen," where the speaker is probably pointing out that the person they're talking to is too young (to stay out late, or whatever). In this case, the はずなのに + んだもの is definitely a complaint. She should have been focused on the larger war, but she wound up more focused on her personal loyalty to "Lelouch, ugh" — sort of a sentiment. (Though, I'm sure, affectionate now.) [8] Strong, dramatic phrasing here, because such strong dramatic phrasing would have swept Kallen off her feet and convinced her, as she elucidates, to follow him anywhere — even if it meant throwing away her morals and working for what she thought, at the time, was a mad tyrant. (Claims I've seen about this line, that Kallen wouldn't have even imagined Lelouch saying it hypothetically if she hadn't been completely sure he loved her — are extremely weird and based on nothing at all, lol.) [9] Again, the present-tense here adding emphasis. [10] 好きになった=to come to care about, to learn to like, to fall in love with. This phrase is used platonically as well as romantically (you can, for example, talk about developing a taste for beer this way). Kallen almost certainly means it romantically, of course, given all the givens — but she's not necessarily talking about deep love; this wording could very easily be a crush. [11] This and "Well" and a couple of other little flourishes have been added to the English in an attempt to convey the very casual tone of Kallen's entire message, which is full to the brim with ね: like she's talking casually, albeit in a heartfelt way, to a friend (or perhaps a boyfriend! if you want to interpret it that way!) — rather than writing a dramatic letter.

[raintranslated]

Complete Best Regret Messages: Kallen

Read on Dreamwidth!

Extolling the Brave Chivalry of Youth[1]

Before I met you, I was really just irritated. I thought: "I want to change the world[2]," but though I lashed out, recklessly, I didn't actually believe I would be able to change anything.

When I lost my brother, it was like a heavy door had slammed shut behind me. I wasn't going to let that go. I'd fight to the bitter end. There'd be no going back, I decided. And then, someday, I'd die — just like my brother had. To the end, Kouzuki Kallen would follow no leader, serve no master[3]. Dimly, I'd thought that small, stubborn pride would be the end of me. But then: like a morning star coming into view, you called for me[4].

Whenever I was doing something for your sake, I felt lighter. No battle was too difficult. Whenever you directed us to a battlefield, I came running, wanting to be the first one there[5]. I wanted to become a lion, to rip your enemies apart with my teeth. To dirty myself with any amount of muck[6], so long as it cleared the way for you.

It's strange, really, if you think about it. It was supposed to be about loathing — and fighting against — Britannian despotism, but before I knew it, I had all this personal loyalty to you[7].

Hey, Lelouch. That last moment we had together, with that kiss… Well, if you'd said I love you[8] back then, it wouldn't have mattered if it was a lie — I still would have followed you all the way into your personal hell. But you already knew that, didn't you?

Not very characteristic of you, was it. Wasn't manipulating people by saying that sort of thing one of your talents…? Yeah, that was so uncharacteristically… gentle.[9] Maybe because you wanted to tell me to live on…?

Even though that sort of gentleness isn't at all why I fell for you[10], heh[11].

Translation notes below the cut. Original Japanese text for you to check yourself transcribed from the above image available at my Dreamwidth link.

[1] This is the title of the first ending theme; other regret messages similarly take their titles from theme songs. This was released as part of an Original Soundtrack CD, after all. [2] 現��=reality, to be more literal. [3] 支配者たちに従わなかった = serve/follow/obey no masters/leaders/rulers. IMHO this use of たち makes perfect sense in Japanese, but "serve no masters" sounds somewhat grammatically awkward. Importantly, given what Kallen is about to talk about, I think she's speaking somewhat ironically about how she'd made this small vow to herself, but was about to wind up following/serving/etc Zero. [4] The verb, 誘う, means to invite or to call for or to take someone along (and also to tempt/lure/entice/seduce); in this case, I think Kallen is referring both literally and metaphorically to Lelouch suddenly calling her on the radio in Stage 2 and guiding her to victory. [5] Sudden volitional form on this and the next three lines, indicating (in this context) Kallen's strong intention to do [whatever]. The switch here to present-tense isn't literal, but rather a common device in Japanese writing to add a sense of emphasis and immediacy, sort of like when an English sentence begins with "Suddenly…!" [6] Given the "title", likely a bit of a reference to the lyric 混濁の純潔この身は汚れても / Even if my purity is sullied and this self is dirtied. [7] だもの is a sentence ending that indicates a reason in a tone of protest, such as 14歳だものね = "You're fourteen," where the speaker is probably pointing out that the person they're talking to is too young (to stay out late, or whatever). In this case, the はずなのに + んだもの is definitely a complaint. She should have been focused on the larger war, but she wound up more focused on her personal loyalty to "Lelouch, ugh" — sort of a sentiment. (Though, I'm sure, affectionate now.) [8] Strong, dramatic phrasing here, because such strong dramatic phrasing would have swept Kallen off her feet and convinced her, as she elucidates, to follow him anywhere — even if it meant throwing away her morals and working for what she thought, at the time, was a mad tyrant. (Claims I've seen about this line, that Kallen wouldn't have even imagined Lelouch saying it hypothetically if she hadn't been completely sure he loved her — are extremely weird and based on nothing at all, lol.)

[9] Again, the present-tense here adding emphasis. [10] 好きになった=to come to care about, to learn to like, to fall in love with. This phrase is used platonically as well as romantically (you can, for example, talk about developing a taste for beer this way). Kallen almost certainly means it romantically, of course, given all the givens — but she's not necessarily talking about deep love; this wording could very easily be a crush. [11] This and "Well" and a couple of other little flourishes have been added to the English in an attempt to convey the very casual tone of Kallen's entire message, which is full to the brim with ね: like she's talking casually, albeit in a heartfelt way, to a friend (or perhaps a boyfriend! if you want to interpret it that way!) — rather than writing a dramatic letter.

[raintranslated]

Complete Best Regret Messages: Kallen

Read on Dreamwidth!

Extolling the Brave Chivalry of Youth[1]

Before I met you, I was really just irritated. I thought: "I want to change the world[2]," but though I lashed out, recklessly, I didn't actually believe I would be able to change anything.

When I lost my brother, it was like a heavy door had slammed shut behind me. I wasn't going to let that go. I'd fight to the bitter end. There'd be no going back, I decided. And then, someday, I'd die — just like my brother had. To the end, Kouzuki Kallen would follow no leader, serve no master[3]. Dimly, I'd thought that small, stubborn pride would be the end of me. But then: like a morning star coming into view, you called for me[4].

Whenever I was doing something for your sake, I felt lighter. No battle was too difficult. Whenever you directed us to a battlefield, I came running, wanting to be the first one there[5]. I wanted to become a lion, to rip your enemies apart with my teeth. To dirty myself with any amount of muck[6], so long as it cleared the way for you.

It's strange, really, if you think about it. It was supposed to be about loathing — and fighting against — Britannian despotism, but before I knew it, I had all this personal loyalty to you[7].

Hey, Lelouch. That last moment we had together, with that kiss… Well, if you'd said I love you[8] back then, it wouldn't have mattered if it was a lie — I still would have followed you all the way into your personal hell. But you already knew that, didn't you?

Not very characteristic of you, was it. Wasn't manipulating people by saying that sort of thing one of your talents…? Yeah, that was so uncharacteristically… gentle.[9] Is that what you were trying to say, when you told me to live on…?

Even though that sort of gentleness isn't at all why I fell for you[10], heh[11].

Translation notes below the cut. Original Japanese text for you to check yourself transcribed from the above image available at my Dreamwidth link.

[1] This is the title of the first ending theme; other regret messages similarly take their titles from theme songs. This was released as part of an Original Soundtrack CD, after all. [2] 現実=reality, to be more literal. [3] 支配者たちに従わなかった = serve/follow/obey no masters/leaders/rulers. IMHO this use of たち makes perfect sense in Japanese, but "serve no masters" sounds somewhat grammatically awkward. Importantly, given what Kallen is about to talk about, I think she's speaking somewhat ironically about how she'd made this small vow to herself, but was about to wind up following/serving/etc Zero. [4] The verb, 誘う, means to invite or to call for or to take someone along (and also to tempt/lure/entice/seduce); in this case, I think Kallen is referring both literally and metaphorically to Lelouch suddenly calling her on the radio in Stage 2 and guiding her to victory. [5] Sudden volitional form on this and the next three lines, indicating (in this context) Kallen's strong intention to do [whatever]. The switch here to present-tense isn't literal, but rather a common device in Japanese writing to add a sense of emphasis and immediacy, sort of like when an English sentence begins with "Suddenly…!" [6] Given the "title", likely a bit of a reference to the lyric 混濁の純潔この身は汚れても / Even if my purity is sullied and this self is dirtied. [7] だもの is a sentence ending that indicates a reason in a tone of protest, such as 14歳だものね = "You're fourteen," where the speaker is probably pointing out that the person they're talking to is too young (to stay out late, or whatever). In this case, the はずなのに + んだもの is definitely a complaint. She should have been focused on the larger war, but she wound up more focused on her personal loyalty to "Lelouch, ugh" — sort of a sentiment. (Though, I'm sure, affectionate now.) [8] Strong, dramatic phrasing here, because such strong dramatic phrasing would have swept Kallen off her feet and convinced her, as she elucidates, to follow him anywhere — even if it meant throwing away her morals and working for what she thought, at the time, was a mad tyrant. (Claims I've seen about this line, that Kallen wouldn't have even imagined Lelouch saying it hypothetically if she hadn't been completely sure he loved her — are extremely weird and based on nothing at all, lol.) [9] Again, the present-tense here adding emphasis. [10] 好きになった=to come to care about, to learn to like, to fall in love with. This phrase is used platonically as well as romantically (you can, for example, talk about developing a taste for beer this way). Kallen almost certainly means it romantically, of course, given all the givens — but she's not necessarily talking about deep love; this wording could very easily be a crush. [11] This and "Well" and a couple of other little flourishes have been added to the English in an attempt to convey the very casual tone of Kallen's entire message, which is full to the brim with ね: like she's talking casually, albeit in a heartfelt way, to a friend (or perhaps a boyfriend! if you want to interpret it that way!) — rather than writing a dramatic letter.

[raintranslated]

Man I'm going to wind up fully translating that Kallen regret message even though I have so many other things in the works, just out of incredulity.

I said I was re-translating the "most egregious" lines and I was wrong, the very first sentence was """translated""" horribly, I just started from the end because of how annoying and misleading the "translation notes" were.

But look, here's the VERY FIRST SENTENCE:

あなたに会うまで、私はただイラついてるだけだった。 / Until I met you, I was really just irritated.

They translated it as "Until I met you, I was only merely plastered with thorns."

I have no idea how. Misreading イラ as something completely different, maybe??? Not understanding how tenses work, and therefore putting イラついてる into Jim Breen's dictionary and finding nothing for it as a phrase and making up their own meaning based on ついてる by itself meaning "attached" and... vibes????

イラつく is to be irritated. This is such basic Japanese, イライラ is one of the first things you learn in Japanese 101 to express basic feelings, I just cannot, pff.

ETA: I do not mean to cast shade on codegeassfacts, that blog is just archiving everything that's ever been translated or fan-translated and it's an awesome, inspiring thing. (My partner has the R1 and R2 Complete books, and CC's profile is SO INTERESTING, I am going to translate everyone's.) My only shade is for the person who actually claimed to know enough Japanese to be translating stuff, and then shared THAT nonsense with the fandom back in like 2009. One step less dishonest than saying "my Japanese friend told me it said this" and then just making up your own regret message for Kallen out of whole cloth.

[raintranslated]

....... woof, those translations and especially the translation *notes* on Kallen's message are uh. Something else, heh. I'll do all of these eventually, but for the record, here's the most egregious text (although pff, "personal devotion only for you" indeed, there's no "only" anywhere in that sentence, it's just "before I knew it, I was harboring a more personal loyalty to you", in contrast with the general hatred of and interest in fighting Britannian despotism that she'd expected to be the basis of their relationship):

ねえ、ルルーシュ。

あの別れのキスのとき、

嘘でもいいから「愛してる」って言ってくれたら、

私はあなたの地獄についていったのにね。

わかってたでしょう？

First things first:

ねえ、ルルーシュ。あの別れのキスのとき != "Lelouch, that parting kiss..."

It's much more like: Hey, Lelouch. Remember that last moment we had together, with that kiss?

(It wasn't a goodbye kiss, both because that's not what Kallen meant to say with it (per Word of God, anyway) and because Lelouch didn't kiss back. But also the translation chops off all the surrounding words that make this line much more casual and much less leading or significant in its phrasing.)

嘘でもいいから「愛してる」って言ってくれたら、

私はあなたの地獄についていったのにね。

Well, if you'd said I love you to me [back then], it wouldn't have mattered if it was a lie — I still would have followed you all the way into your personal hell.

We westerners used to not understand the difference between these words at all, but more recently the problem has instead been making too much of of it. 愛してる versus 好き is like... yes, there is a difference, but you'd think the fact that our translator friend acknowledges that the only people to say those words in the show are Lelouch and Nunnally about each other would have at least given them pause before they went on to assert something as wild as "only two lovers ever use this word", or, as I've seen elsewhere, that Kallen wouldn't have imagined Lelouch saying 愛してる unless she was 100% confident that he really did have romantic feelings for her.

Just. What even, heh.

Anyway, the actual significance of this wording is that it would have been much more dramatic for Lelouch to have said, and if he had said something so romantic and dramatic to Kallen — well, as she says herself here, she would have been swept off her feet and she would have done anything for him, even though at this moment she thought his "mad tyrant" image was completely real.

This is Kallen talking about how lost she was in that moment, how she would have completely abandoned her own morals and joined what she thought was an evil crusade, if Lelouch had claimed to love her.

And, she says, it wouldn't have even mattered if he'd lied.

This really isn't about the depth of Kallen's love for Lelouch.

For one thing, if it had been, and our translator friend was right about the intense meaning of 愛してる......... wouldn't Kallen have used some form of that same verb at the end of the message, where she describes her own feelings? 🤔

わかってたでしょう？

You already knew that, didn't you?

This last translation is fine, but boy do I take issue with the enormous footnote of additional speculation provided as if it were something objectively true about this wording, instead of wishfully reading entirely too much in to a single sentence.

More likely significance in the tense of わかる: Kallen is talking about something she only understands about herself now, and saying that Lelouch had understood it in the moment.

らしくなかったわね。 そんなこと言って、人を動かすの得意だったじゃない。 ほんと、らしくない優しさだわ。 私に生きろって言いたかったわけ？

That wasn't very characteristic of you, you know. Manipulating people by saying that sort of thing — was one of your strong points, wasn't it. Yeah, that was really uncharacteristically... gentle[1]. Is that what you were trying to say, when you told me to live on...?[2]

[1] The Japanese switches tenses here, from past to present tense, which is something Japanese writers do for emphasis and immediacy. Think of it as vaguely equivalent to starting an English sentence with "Suddenly...!"

[2] The Japanese here is very very clear, わけ isn't being used because Kallen is wondering why Lelouch told her to live on, because Lelouch didn't tell her any such thing: instead, it's being used in conjunction with 言いたかった because she is supposing that perhaps he wanted to say something like that. Perhaps that was what Lelouch was trying to tell her by rejecting her in that moment (with his silence). DON'T TRANSLATE TIRED, kids; this line isn't referring to what Lelouch's lack-of-a-response to the kiss meant, but to his earlier line, episodes before, when he told Kallen to live on the Ikaruga, and I haven't watched R2 recently enough. Anyway, revised: 言いたかった here is being used in the sense of something someone was trying to say (which is sometimes what 言いたい means).

そんな優しさのために、あなたを好きになったわけじゃなかったのにね。

Even though that sort of gentleness isn't at all why I fell for you[1], heh.

[1] 好きになった=to come to like, to learn to like, to fall in love with. Means both platonic and non-platonic feelings. I think Kallen means it romantically, but for the record this line is absolutely as easily about a crush as it is about something deeper.

There are plenty of ways to say "it wasn't just x but also y"; Kallen isn't using any of them. She is saying that this sort of uncharacteristic gentleness isn't one of the parts of Lelouch that attracted her to him... because of course it's not, she thinks it's uncharacteristic.

(Now, Shirley — when she described falling for Lelouch herself, she said it was exactly the mystery of his seemingly uncharacteristic moments of gentleness that drew her in, and Suzaku had a similar trajectory in their friendship as children and completely understood her feelings — but it would be weird for Kallen to spend so much time saying that this sort of gentleness isn't like Lelouch, only to follow it up by saying that's something she "loved" about him.)

Also I added that little ", heh" at the end because I didn't want to ignore how conversational this whole thing has been in tone. Like she's speaking causally, albeit in a heartfelt way, to a friend (or boyfriend, one supposes), rather than composing a dramatic final letter to anyone.

(I am not trying to rain on anyone's ship!! Kallen/Lelouch is a fine ship with a very cute dynamic and this is a sweet final message. But even though it's been a million years, the fandom deserves accurate translations, okay?)

ETA: Let me be clear, @codegeassfacts did nothing wrong here, I am extremely incredulous of Blottyparchment, whoever that was, because their translations reflect a fundamental lack of understanding about basic Japanese, like... grammar, and they present themselves as so knowledgeable in their notes. But there's nothing wrong with taking someone at their word about something you have every reason to think they're an expert on. Also, thank you, codegeassfacts, for archiving all this neat stuff, you have inspired me to do a lot more translating again instead of just translating chapters of the manga slowly, haha. 🙂

ETA 2: Okay, I did the full thing, available here.

Code Geass Complete Best Regret Message // Nunnally & Kallen // Canon

The Complete Best Regret messages, also known as character poems, are message left from various characters to Lelouch, after his death through Zero Requiem. Those are available within the Complete Best OST Which gathers some of the best OST of the show.

They offer us a nice last view of their thoughts and feelings directed to Lelouch, after his tragic end. Each of the letter are written and illustrated with a rough sketch of the character in their predominant color, and the first page of the booklet is a very nice sketch of Lelouch.

Each of the message have a title taken after a Code Geass opening or ending, Let's start with Nunnally.

Nunnally Lamperouge / vi Britannia - Mozaiku Kakera (Mosaic Shards) // Ending 2

I have been thinking about the many things that you have given me.

They can’t be counted on my fingers, for each and every one that I count, a stone is left. Lining them up, the stones can be pieced together into a mosaic. But, I will not do that. I don’t want to. (1) I will continue to count them piece by piece, always remembering their shape, their color and their touch. (2)

Even these dreams, that kindness, our rendezvous, those lies, mistakes…. Even that voice, the warmth in those hands that grasped mine, even the loneliness, the twistedness, the pain in my chest. Even that silence. Even those eyes.

Everything, I will hold dear.

Even if you had not given me many things, I could not give you anything in return. You gave me everything and you ended up leaving.

In those happy days, we did not even say “Thank you” nor “I’m sorry” between us. Those words would only invoke sadness. Your heart would grow far away. Just like that, you were myself, and I was you.

However, that day, the words you have told me still remains in my ears. You didn’t even let me reply. That’s why, while hearing your voice ringing in my ear, I will answer you from the bottom of my heart.

I love you too. (3)

(1) Lit.: I do not want to bring them (stones) together. (2) Lit.: One by one, I will continue to count them; their shape, color, and touch, I will continue to feel throughout. (1) Broken up into two sentences in the original Japanese: Aishiteru. Anata wo. (I love. You.) Translation by Blottyparchment.

Kallen Kozuki / Stadtfeld - Yuukyou Seishunka (Extolling the Brave Chivalry of Youth) // Ending 1

Until I met you, I was only merely plastered with thorns. I wanted to change this truth. I seethingly and recklessly acted. But then, I didn’t believe that anything would come out of it.

When my brother was gone, I heard the sound of the heavy doors closing behind me. I cannot allow it. I will fight to the bitter end. I decided that I would not go back. Then, someday, I would have died like my brother.

Until the very end, Kouzuki Kallen would not abide by authority. That bit of willpower I was carrying with me, it slipped away from me, and I can feel it faintly. At that moment, I envisioned you as the star at the break of dawn, inviting me.

If I would think that this is for you, my body would feel light. Whatever struggles there were, the pain would go away. I would be the first to come rushing to your battlefield, raging like a lioness, crushing your enemies. I would stand being muddied so that I could create a path for you.

Looking back, it’s mysterious. Even though I should have loathed and rebelled against Britannia’s tyranny. Without knowing it, I held personal devotion only for you.

Lelouch, that parting kiss, even if it was a lie, if you had said, “I love you,” (1)(2) I would even follow you to hell. You knew that, didn’t you?

It’s not like you. You’re good at manipulating people just by your words. Really, it’s not like you to be kind. Is that why you told me to 'live on’? I fell in love with you (3) not just because of that kindness.

(1) Kallen uses the word 'aishiteru' here. It is a word that carries strong weight in Japanese and is not simply used to express love. You may say 'suki' and mean love, but 'aishiteru' is used between two intimate lovers, and within the show, only between Lelouch and Nunnally. (2) In japanese you emphasize on the end of a line; the "Even if it was a lie" is there to show how great her love for him was, the "wakatteta deshou" means Kallen was quite sure the "Aishiteru" would have come, had he not been kind with her. (3)The love here is 'suki ni naru' Translation by Blottyparchment & Lie

Hope you enjoyed.