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Flagg: What do you mean this is CBT? All you're asking me is about my feelings! My balls are still completely intact!

Crimson King: Walter, this is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

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I want to make a parody of the stand that's just called "the sit" and just comprises of broken english, much like those breaking bad shitposts on YouTube.

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Stephen king, writing about Harold Lauder: The fat DISGUSTING pig waddled across the horrible earth he walks on. He is so FAT and GROSS and he is so DISGUSTING.

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( new cryptid discovered - it’s @he-who-walks )

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Stephen king: *Creates the most evil/unlikeable character possible*

Me: Ah! Perfect. This will now be my favorite character.

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*Fucking eats all of your lizards*

never thought I'd have to stop flagg from eating my lizards, but here we are. the bastard ate edgar the round. I'm done. I'm going to boulder

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I miss that bastard Nadine. Sure, she ruined my whole fuckin' plan, but goddamnit I couldn't help but let her grow on me.

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My two fucking braincells communicating

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Larry Underwood: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.

Frannie Goldsmith: I did. I broke it…

Larry Underwood: No. No, you didn’t. Harold?

Harold Lauder: Don’t look at me. Look at Stu.

Stu Redman: What?! I didn’t break it.

Harold Lauder: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Stu Redman: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Harold Lauder: Suspicious.

Stu Redman: No it’s not!

Lloyd Henreid: If it matters, probably not… Nadine was the last one to use it.

Nadine Cross: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Lloyd Henreid: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Nadine Cross: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Lloyd!

Frannie Goldsmith: Alright let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Larry.

Larry Underwood: No. Who broke it? 

Lloyd Henreid: [whispering] Larry, Nick’s been awfully quiet…

Nick Andros (writing): Really?!

Lloyd Henreid: Yeah, really!

…

Randall Flagg: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

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The toughest of the toughest bois only 😎

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Don't fucking pull someone out of a psychotic delusion unless they specifically tell you to do so. I suffer from a delusion that makes me believe I am a fictional character (Flagg). If you were to pull me out of that delusion I would be forced into a panic attack and I couldn't face the reality I am in. It's not fucking cool!! I know it may seem like you are helping and dragging someone out of a false reality, but you aren't. In reality you are making the situation much much worse.

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You've already started, cutie ;)

nah because I'm gonna start saying "sai" instead of sir so that I can publicly humiliate myself.

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Thinking about a yandere! Flagg concept rn...