random-but-whateves

[random-but-whateves]

P vmalu dvukly pm aolyl dpss lcly jvtl h aptl dolyl P joljr fvby zpal mvy aol shza aptl. Aovbno Pa’z illu ulhysf 10 flhyz, aolyl zapss ohzu’a illu h zpunsl wvza vm fvbyz aoha P ohclu’a zllu.

Huk aovbno P dhz uva lewljapun av zll aopz vul, pa zapss jhbnoa tl if zbywypzl. Dopsl P dhz wslhzhuasf zovjrlk av zll hu lujyfwa tlzzhnl dpao zbjo zbzaluhujl, P jvbsk nblzz aol nypt mhal vm fvby tlzzhnl, ruvdpun aoha pa dhz wyvihisf mpsslk dpao vby mpuhs nvvkiflz.

Aolyl’z h sva av buive pu zbjo spaasl aptl iba P dpss kv tf ilza av rllw pa zbjjpuja.

P olhy fvb. P olhy hss vm fvb huk hss vm pa. Aol kylhtz, aol ilayhfhs, aol iyvrlu wpljlz. P olhy fvb. Huk… P ht… dpao tf luapyl ilpun… zv zvyyf. Mvy lclyfaopun. Mvy lclyfaopun P kpk huk mvy lclyfaopun P kpku’a kv. P’t zvyyf aoha aolyl’z uv htvbua vm zbmmlypun aoha P jhu lukbyl aoha’ss lcly tlhzbyl bw av aol zbmmlypun aoha fvb ohk av lukbyl. P’t zvyyf P iyvrl fvb. P’t zvyyf P avflk dpao fvb. P’t zvyyf P zohaalylk fvb. Thfil fvb kpku’a npcl tl olss wlyzvuhssf iba aoha kvlzu’a tlhu P kpku’a spcl aoyvbno pa. Pa kvlzu’a tlhu aoha P’t uva jbyyluasf spcpun pa. Lclyf. Zpunsl. Khf… aoha whzzlz dolyl P kvu’a ohcl fvb pu tf spml? P ht whfpun mvy pa. Iljhbzl P tpzz tf mypluk, avv. Tf ilza mypluk. Zv wba pa hss vu tl… P jhu ahrl pa… P yljvnupgl tf mhbsaz. Huk P dpss il whfpun mvy pa mvy aol ylza vm tf spml.

Aol ivaavt spul pz… P jhu ahrl h zalw ihjr huk zll fvby olhspun. P jhu ahrl h zalw ihjr huk ruvd aoha fvb hyl h dvthu dov ohz zv mplyjlsf ylibpsa olyzlsm puav aol dvthu fvb hyl avkhf. P jhu yljvnupgl aoha huk ylzwlja aoha huk ruvd aoha ha slhza pu aopz zavyf ivvr… P ht aol tvuzaly… P ht fvby avepj wlyzvu. Aoha’z qbza.. aoha’z dov P ht pu fvby spml uvd. P kpk aoha av tfzlsm. P kpk aoha av fvb. Huk uv thaaly ovd ohyk P hwvsvnpgl vy ovd thuf aptlz fvb mvynpcl vy ovd thuf aptlz dl ayf av yljvuulja wshavupjhssf… Pa qbza dvu’a dvyr. Pa jhu’a. Uva dpao tl ilpun h tvuzaly av fvb. Pa’z h whya vm aol zavyf aoha’z hsylhkf illu dypaalu pu johwalyz whza huk uv htvbua vm aptl vy dvykz jhu lcly johunl aol avepjpaf aoha aopz tvuzaly iypunz pu fvby spml. Huk P kvu’a dhua aoha. Fvb hivcl hss lszl kvu’a klzlycl aoha. Aoha pz dof P kpk doha P kpk.

Zv… P hwvsvnpgl vujl hnhpu. Huk h tpsspvu aptlz vcly. Huk h tpsspvu aptlz hnhpu. P hwvsvnpgl mvy ruvdpun tf ivbukhyplz iba khujpun hsvun aovzl spulz, dpzombssf aopurpun aoha aol Bupclyzl dvbsk iypun bz avnlaoly. Wlyohwz aol bupclyzl kpk iypun bz avnlaoly vul shza aptl, iba bukly kpmmlylua jpyjbtzahujlz. Wlyohwz uljlzzhyf jpyjbtzahujlz.

Iba P dpss slhcl fvb dpao aopz… Tf tvza yljlua kylht hivba fvb, pyvupjhssf qbza h mld khfz hnv, ohz illu aol ilza vul fla. Pa jhtl myvt h wshjl vm olhspun. Mvy aol mpyza aptl pu h ylhssf svun aptl P ohk h kylht hivba fvb aoha dhz uva mpsslk dpao alhyz, svunpun vy olhyahjol. Mvy aol mpyza aptl pu h ylhssf svun aptl.. P dhz hisl av svvr puav fvby lflz huk il nlubpulsf ohwwf mvy fvb huk ohcl fvb ylabyu aol zhtl svvr vm ohwwpulzz. Pu tf kylht dl qbza zv ohwwlulk av ybu puav lhjo vaoly vu aol zaylla, hz vsk mypluk zvtlaptlz kv, huk P jvbsk zv cpcpksf yljhss aoha dhyt mllspun vm qbza zllpun aol mhtpsphy mhjl vm hu vsk mypluk. Dl xbpjrsf jhbnoa bw, dpzolk lhjo vaoly dlss, huk nhcl lhjo vaoly doha fvb dvbsk jvuzpkly h “ilhy obn.” Pa dhz nlubpul huk pa dhz dpao wbyl pualuapvu. Aol shza aopun P yltltily zhfpun av fvb dhz “pa’z qbza ylhssf nvvk av zll fvb.”

Huk P’t zbyl aoha dvu’a il aol shza aptl fvb’ss il cpzpapun pu tf kylhtz. P’t zbyl aolyl dpss il thuf aptlz dolyl P svvr bw ha aol jsvjr huk pa’ss zhf 11:07 vy “Zdlla Kpzwvzpapvu” dpss yhukvtsf wshf vu tf Zwvapmf. P dpzo P jvbsk olsw pa iba… P kvu’a aopur P jhu lcly zavw svvrpun ihjr. P svvr ihjr iljhbzl aoha’z dolyl P ruvd P’ss mpuk fvb. Huk dolu P zahya av tpzz fvb, aoha’z dolyl P nv. Iba ylza hzzbylk, P ruvd tf wshjl huk P ruvd doha P ohcl svza. P ht pu aol wyvjlzz vm thrpun wlhjl dpao aoha. Qbza ruvd aoha… Fvb kvu’a ohcl av dvyyf huftvyl. Aol tvuzaly dpss il nvul. Aol ivvr dpss il jsvzlk. Huk hss aoha’ss il slma hyl aol whyaz aoha thrl bz dov dl hyl avkhf.

Nvvkifl, Olslu. Hss tf svcl, hss tf ilza, hsdhfz.

[random-but-whateves]

The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.

Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me (via theliteraryjournals)

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I let it go. It’s like swimming against the current. It exhausts you. After a while, whoever you are, you just have to let go, and the river brings you home.

Joanne Harris (via sunst0ne)

[random-but-whateves]

i am not your 5 minute cigarette break, you cannot light me up whenever you’re in the mood, and put me out when you’re tired of me.

(via unextinguished)

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I thought I liked being alone. I like being with you more.

Amanda Vegas  (via wnq-writers)

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maybe it’s a bit too late to say this, but I didn’t want to let you go.

#47 / 13 august 2016 (via twisted-melancholy)

[random-but-whateves]

And if destiny let our paths cross again, let us not do this again. Let us not look into each other’s eyes, I might fall again for those precious pretty brown eyes. Let us meet a little less; so I won’t miss you that much everyday when you’re not around. Let us expect and hope a little less; so we won’t end up disappointing ourselves. Let us not do this again, so if we bid goodbye, we could turn without too much pain. Let us try not to fall in love and end up falling apart. I’ve realized that being in love too deep brings sad endings, which did happened to us. I’ll pray for your next love; that it won’t be like us and that it’ll cause you less pain.

be happier than me, love (via escafeism)

[random-but-whateves]

don’t allow someone to treat you poorly just because you love them

[random-but-whateves]

ways to start feeling again

sit in the sun without anything to do, feel the heat of the rays hit your skin, realize that this sunlight has travelled a very long way to reach you

walk around barefoot and try to feel as much of the ground under your feet as you can, notice every rock and blade of grass

sit quietly for a while and notice the touch of breath in your nostrils, feel how the air gets cooler as you inhale and warmer as you exhale

drive around aimlessly and blast some of your favorite songs, scream/sing along to them and feel the vibrations of your favorite lyrics as they change the air in your throat and around you, feel that the music is healing you from the inside out

stay away from alcohol or drugs for a few days, try to be as aware and present as you can in every moment, stop trying to numb or dull your senses

eat a few meals without any distractions, notice every bite and taste every flavor that covers your tongue, be grateful for it all

look up at the stars and the moon, understand how small we all are and how immense the universe is, realize what a miracle everything is, let your heart swell with amazement and admiration for life itself

[random-but-whateves]

No one ever talks about the heartbreak that comes with losing your best friend

and no one cares for platonic broken hearts (via un-colour-ed)

[random-but-whateves]

Stumbling upon all your shit, Celeste... God. I never want to open that box again. I’m just afraid. I look back at our lover days with disgust. I don’t want that to be the same with Helen. I do love her... but I’m just afraid I’m going to sound stupid and naive again. Fuck this. Fuck love. 

[random-but-whateves]

23 Emotions people feel, but can’t explain

Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.

Opia: The ambiguous intensity of Looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.

Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.

Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.

Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.

Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.

Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.

Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.

Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.

Vemödalen: The frustration of photographic something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.

Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening

Ellipsism: A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.

Kuebiko: A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence.

Lachesism: The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.

Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.

Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.

Rückkehrunruhe: The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.

Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.

Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.

Liberosis: The desire to care less about things.

Altschmerz: Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.

Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.

[random-but-whateves]

What am I doing...

[random-but-whateves]

"Listen, I am a huge believer in soul mates, and I believe each person will meet their soul mate, but you don't always end up with them. And that's not to say you can't be in love and happy for the rest of your life with someone wonderful. Soul mates aren't always meant to be forever. It's the hardest lesson to accept, but sometimes soul mates come in the form of a fling, or a friendship, or some other relationship. Soul mates are there to teach us what we need to know. And sometimes they stay, sometimes they don't. Cherish them while you have them though, because they are always worth the outcome...”