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YOUR LUNGS BURN WITH EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE  ━  this is the kind of future that awaits you out there.  headcanon based & written by mars.

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YOUR LUNGS BURN WITH EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE  ━  this is the kind of future that awaits you out there.  headcanon based & written by mars.

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i will be remaking very soon once i finish my carrd for a fresh start since it’s gotten quite cluttered here. please do me a favor and give this post a like if you want me to refollow! looking for those who truly plan on interacting with me at some point because i really wanna start reaching out more!

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STORM BRINGER CHUUYA  ☆

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I’ll be the one to decide if I do or not. Not you.

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someday i will write again, when will that be ? Great Question.

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they made chuuyas hair so pointy in the anime but, it’s soft and smells like lavender and sage, thank you

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part time mafia, full time dorks

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I DIDN’T CRY  …  I just kept thinking that when human beings get that way , they’re no good for anything.     —     bungou stray dog’s  dazai osamu.  headcanon based.  written by pb.

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I don’t want mine to this time

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                        (    that  bloody  mafia  money  ?  his  response  :  my  paycheck  isn’t  like  yours  !  not  that  he  was  being  truthful  ,  he  had  enough  money  stored  up  to  be  living  eons  better  than  he  currently  was  with  the  detective  agency  ,  and  probably  set  the  rest  of  the  agents  up  for  life  if  he  wanted  !  alas  ,  dazai  was  either  too  proud  or  too  worried  about  being  tracked  exchanging  accounts  that  he  wasn’t  so  much  as  breathing  near  that  blood  money  .    )               instead  ,  dazai  rolls  his  eyes  at  the  jab  and  puffs  a  little  petulantly  at  the  idea  ;  buy  a  television  ?  nothing  was  more  entertaining  than  this  ,  nothing  more  comforting  either  .                      “   and  what  if  i  did  ?   “                       the  devil  himself  leans  slightly  against  the  bar  ,  holding  his  drink  of  choice  in  one  hand  with  his  slender  fingers  the  only  thing  keeping  it  from  a  rather  abrupt  and  noisy  end  .   naturally  ,  dazai  knew  better  than  to  purposefully  invade  the  redhead’s  space  ,  so  he  knew  to  give  him  at  least  a  few  inches  than  normal  .    it  then  hit  him  briefly  ;    why  was  an  executive  drinking  here  of  all  places  that  were  available  to  him  ?                      “  actually  .  .  .  ;  isn’t  this  kind  of  place  kinda  below  you  ?   have  your  standards  drifted  ?    “

“  my standard is fine wine,  not company.   the people here are just as eager to be left alone as i am. although sometimes stragglers can’t seem to take the hint, lucky you, i graciously forgive the occasional idiot.  ”  chuuya not so subtly jabs at the former mafioso, though he knows his interloping presence is completely purposeful. dazai sways with the chaos as if he knows its order, the same way he can pick the patterns out of puzzle’s faster than anyone chuuya has ever had the displeasure of coming across. 

“  and what if you did?  ”  he digresses back to the avoided point. without acknowledging himself, chuuya reciprocates his nearness, shifting ever so slightly closer toward the walking hospital cart. “  gonna tell me how much you missed me?  or are you all done with drunken confessions for the night? personally, i’m all outta sentiment and wine, so i’m pretty much beat.  ”  

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he expected some level of bite back. going into someone’s living space and rearranging and inserting yourself into a situation was bound to get him bitten. he knew that going in. still, it’s jarring when dazai bares his fangs like that. he has a particular talent for digging knives in where they hurt. his face remains stoic as he finishes the floor. 

‘ i am well aware i am not well liked. i don’t need to be endearing. that’s never been one of my goals. ‘ he stands, straightening and adjusting his vest. it’s lucky he’s nearly finished, crossing to pour the remaining coffee into a large mug so he can wash that grimy pot. 

‘ you can say whatever you like. you can hate me if you want, but i’m not going to stop caring for you, no matter what you say. it won’t work on me. ‘ 

“ i don’t hate you, ”  keenly focused on the hangnail, dazai almost sounds meek, absolutely unsure but he punctuates each word. he draws backwards from his snap, sufficing kitten licks for a bleeding artery. latent frustration built form in his brutish words.he sighs with his whole chest, exhaling the sharp fang of guilt that dug straight into his torrid heart.  “  nothing works on you.  i don’t understand it. you enjoy suffering, i can tell. if you didn’t, you wouldn’t care about me.  ”

usually he’s not quite so easily annoyed, alas it accumulates until it breaks composure. seriousness has never been his forte but god forbid he’s without his coffee for one hangover. “  you and your damn goals. stupid goals if you ask me. i don’t want your pity, so keep it.  ”  it wouldn’t matter how much he doesn’t believe himself, he speaks with conviction. it’s easy being the bad guy after all, he has been his entire life.

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                    “    true  .    they’re  not  at  all  like  us  .    my  current  partner  is  too  easily  tricked  ,  by  me  and  others  .  you’re  quicker  on  the  uptake  ,  but  that  poor  guy  is  too  soft  to  know  when  someone’s  fucking  with  him  .   “                    was  that  cruel  to  say  ?  the  case  of  the  azure  was  enough  to  prove  dazai’s  words  were  true  and  that  these  people  were  too  optimistic  about  such  terrible  situations  .  the  director  included  ,  he  wondered  how  someone  like  him  &  chuuya  would  have  reacted  to  being  tugged  along  like  a  dog  on  a  leash  to  the  end  of  that  horrible  fantasy  .  well  ,  dazai’s  didn’t  want  a  repeat  experience  with  such  things  ,  since  it  was  fucking  outright  PAINFUL  for  him  to  watch  others  pull  the  wool  over  one  another’s  eyes  .  he  didn’t  understand  how  it  was  possible  :  humans  were  so  interesting  .  that  was  why  he  longed  to  feel  what  they  did  ,  because  as  it  stood  ,  dazai  couldn’t  feel  anything  for  anyone  .                 despite  that  ,  the  detective  folds  his  arms  on  the  bar  ,  his  fingers  just  brushing  the  surface  as  they  did  .  not  that  he  would  feel  much  of  anything  ;  the  bandages  around  his  palm  and  arms  kept  him  from  doing  so  .                 “  i  am  ,  chuuya  ~  why  else  would  i  be  here  ?  i  don’t  drink  like  you  ,  i’m  pretty  sober  ~  .  it’s  been  a  long  day  ,  and  i  sure  as  hell  didn’t  want  to  go  home  or  that  rope  will  call  my  name  .  maybe  i  sought  help  without  saying  so  ~  ?  what  do  you  think  ~  ?  is  that  theory  sound  ?  “

“  you should go easier on him,  he’s obviously trying to trust you even if you give him so many fucking reasons not to. there’s not a lot of people like that, you know. yer wasting the one you got.  ”  they’re memories of his own betrayal, the tests practiced on his tolerance just to see him snap over and over again until dazai knew exactly how to send him tumbling over the steep edge. chuuya sighs and smacks the sour taste of alcohol between his lips, a scowl appearing the second dazai teases lightly about something so heavy.

the concept of dazai coming to him for advice, or god forbid companionship warms him more than he’d like to admit.  “  you’re not telling me you came looking for me, hah?  ”  chuuya laughs bitterly as though he should have expected the absence of coincidence when it comes to his former partner. “  sounds to me like you got cher-self all figured out just fine. get a tv if you need a distraction, will ya?  ”

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like for a sigma starter! slow moving, either verse available.

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BSD ch. 72: Sigma

bonus: