raystapreadingseries-blog - Tumblr blog

[raystapreadingseries-blog]

Oh Pickles! The No Cussing Club 7 Year Reunion/Meeting/Group-Hug Current and former members of the most cyber-bullied anti-profanity club in history are going to be sharing their experiences of the last 7 years as they tried and continue trying to remain PG in an X-Rated universe. Have you ever had a friend suddenly and boldly change their life direction and become a Mormon, or start going to NRA meetings, or stop drinking, or stop philandering, or stop pillaging souls? Well, they are always doing the right thing and you always fully support your friends. Well, a reading series is like a person, and like people, we change and sometimes it's shocking. The Ray's Tap Reading Series is well known in Chicago as being late, loud, crude, long, boorish, poorly hosted and filled with bad words. Well, we have changed. While the Ray's Tap Reading Series is still late and it might be a little funny, because life IS funny, but gone are the "blue' days and we will only being doing life affirming shows tackling issues involving the corruption of wholesomeness. We begin this on the evening of June 21st. Performers include: Ian Belknap, Daniel Shapiro, Carly Oishi, Dave Snyder, Stephanie Douglass, Mason Johnson , Mark Chrisler Tim Racine,Alicia Swiz, Ben Harpe, Matt Test, John Cahill, Randall Colburn and featuring the music of Tijuana Hercules. Curated and hosted by Chris Bower. *also featuring some music by Alan Scalpone, McKay Hatch (founder) and some zine action by Mairead Case When: June 21st at 11 PM Where: Prop Thtr: 3502 N. Elston Ave. How much: $15 or pay-what-you-can https://www.facebook.com/raystap

POSTER BY Susie Kirkwood   susiekirkwood.com

[raystapreadingseries-blog]

poster by Susie Kirkwood (Hire her at susiekirkwood.com)

The Ray’s Tap Reading Series will return November 9th for a show called The Ray’s Tap Reading Series Has Allergies. Water, cold, peanuts, cats, sunshine, mold, pollen, eggs, penicillin, anesthesia, tree nuts, seafood, latex, human touch and even exercise are making us break out into hives, speeding up our hearts and in some cases, killing us. Now Isn’t that ridiculous? The show will be about dissecting allergies and our bored and nonsensical immune systems, mistaking mostly harmless and sometimes helpful things for dangerous enemies. When: November 9th. 10 PM. Where: The Prop Thtr. 3502 N. Elston Avenue Who: Featuring the work of Natalie Edwards, David Isaacson, Charlotte Hamilton, Dave Snyder, Matt Test, Ruth McCormack, Erin Kahoa, Daniel Shapiro, Mark Chrisler, Tim Racine, Mason Johnson, Margaret Chapman and featuring the music of Tijuana Hercules. Hosted by Chris Bower. How much?: The show is 15 dollars or pay-what-you-can (Seriously) We need to pay for the space but if you are broke, throw in a dollar. If you are really broke, come for free. Proceeds go to pay for the space, posters, buttons and the rest goes to the performers. Will there be a bar? Yes. Will there be buttons? Yes, there are always buttons. Will it be funny? Yes, it will be funny and a lot of other things too. contact Chris Bower @ cbower54@gmail.com for more information.

[raystapreadingseries-blog]

The Ray's Tap Reading Series Has Allergies

The Ray's Tap Reading Series will return November 9th for a show called The Ray's Tap Reading Series Has Allergies.

Water, cold, peanuts, cats, sunshine, mold, pollen, eggs, penicillin, anesthesia, tree nuts, seafood, latex, human touch and even exercise are making us break out into hives, speeding up our hearts and in some cases, killing us. Now Isn't that ridiculous?   The show will be about dissecting allergies and our bored and nonsensical immune systems,  mistaking mostly harmless and sometimes helpful things for dangerous enemies.

When:  November 9th. 10 PM.

Where:  The Prop Thtr. 3502 N. Elston Avenue

Who:  Featuring the work of Natalie Edwards, David Isaacson, Charlotte Hamilton, Dave Snyder, Matt Test, Ruth McCormack, Erin Kahoa, Daniel Shapiro, Mark Chrisler, Tim Racine, Mason Johnson, Margaret Chapman and featuring the music of Tijuana Hercules. Hosted by Chris Bower.

How much?:  The show is 15 dollars or pay-what-you-can (Seriously)  We need to pay for the space but if you are broke, throw in a dollar. If you are really broke, come for free.  Proceeds go to pay for the space, posters, buttons and the rest goes to the performers.

Will  there be a bar?  Yes.

Will there be a poster?  Yes, there will be a poster very soon. Susie Kirkwood is hard at work.

Will there be buttons? Yes, there are always buttons.

Will it be funny?  Yes, it will be funny and a lot of other things too.

contact Chris Bower @ cbower54@gmail.com for more information.

[raystapreadingseries-blog]

Ray's Returns with Allergies in November

Mark your calendars: The next Ray's Tap Reading Series show will be Saturday November 9th at the Prop Thtr. The show is called, for now, Allergies!: From Antiquity...to Fragility...to America...and... Beyondica? It will be a late night show and feature many of our regular readers and our special guests will be announced shortly. It will long, loud, drunken and as always, a fucking blast. It's the reading series that does not respect your time, but only happens a couple times a year, which is pretty damn respectful if you ask me.

[raystapreadingseries-blog]

Ray's Fall Return

The Ray's Tap Reading Series will return in the Fall for a show about Allergies.  Date and venue  to be announced soon.

[raystapreadingseries-blog]

Talking to Ray, 2 years after Ray's Tap (the bar) is closed (over dinner)

And his basement is like a replica of Ray's except it's not as filthy because we and 30 years of people were not there.  I had a really nice dinner with him and his family and he doesn't miss the bar but he misses the people and he misses the Ray's Tap Reading Series and what really touched me is that he really missed me. the shooting of the shit, the opposite politics and the company.  I won't discuss the private stuff we talked about but we always had some conversations that went much deeper than they should have.  I was never going to change his mind about things but he saw me as someone that was worth listening to and while it does not seem like a lot, I thought it was something.  This is what his basement looks like now.  It kind of looks like Ray's.  It looks sad, just like Ray's did and this is not a post to make anyone feel better about themselves.  The next Ray's Tap Reading Series will be announced soon and I hope you are all very excited!  I am hoping for a lot

of optimism because I am pretty sure the next show is going to be about feeling better about yourself.  

[raystapreadingseries-blog]

The Ray's Tap Reading Series is coming back to the Prop Theater in September

‎Ray's Tap Reading Series is coming back in September with Samantha Irby, Vicki Walden, Barrie Cole, Tijuana Hercules, Matt Test, Dave Snyder, Daniel Shapiro, Mason Johnson and Margaret Chapman. The show will be about Liars and will be at the Prop Thtr, September 8th. The show will be 15 bucks or pay what you can, which means you can come for free if you are broke.

[raystapreadingseries-blog]

Poster by Susie Kirkwood

[raystapreadingseries-blog]

The Don Rickles Bird

The Don Rickles Bird is a bird that looks exactly like Don Rickles. The oddest part about this bird is that while the actual Don Rickles ages, the bird adapts to look like the most current version of him. The bird itself is docile and indifferent to race and some say their fecal droppings taste like strawberries and also shit, which is actually worse than just shit.

[raystapreadingseries-blog]

The Bird of Stolen Sadness

The Bird of Stolen Sadness (BSS) is a bird that swoops in on crying humans, steals their tears and then deposits them on the faces of fresh corpses. It is endangered because people don't quite cry or die like they used to.

[raystapreadingseries-blog]

Imaginary Birds show 8/12/11

Finally we have a date.

The theme of the show is Imaginary Birds and we will have a great group of readers reading stories about birds that have never existed.

We will also be serving food; a first for the Ray's Tap Reading Series.  It will be free and you will be terrified to try it.

[raystapreadingseries-blog]

New Ray's Shows are Up in the Air but they are at least up in the Air!

Hope to have show dates soon.

[raystapreadingseries-blog]

Disgusting Sex Acts List from Ray's Show 3/4/11

List of the Most Disgusting Sexual Positions and Sex Acts by the writers of the Ray’s Tap Reading Series for the Anti-Erotic/Sex-Negative/Anti Natal Extravaganza 1. Home-Made Taco Salad 2. Flooding the Engine 3. Inside out Strawberry 4.  Breaking the Vagina Bank 5.  Splitting Hairs 6.  Face the Nation 7.  Egg Face 8. Human Rain 9.  Let’s Turn Our Bodies Into Ships With Passengers 10.  Big and Small 11.  Human Train Derailment 12.  Let’s Put an Ax in That 13.  French Kissing 14.  Liquid Pat Down 15.  Self Induced Sauna 16.  Fun With Detached Fingers 17.  Organic Stripper Pole 18.  The Snow Plow 19.  Dump Truck Disaster 20.  Elegant Feather Play 21.  Vintage Mud Trap 22.  Penis Meet Razor 23.  Ball Drag 24.  Weather Vain in the ass on the roof role play 25.  Talking About Sex During Sex 26.  Reverse Cowboy (gravity not an issue) 27.  The Vagina’s Edge 28.  What do you do when your cock and balls are detached and end up in your face in a plastic bag?   29. Missionary.  (I know at least that one seems ordinary, but think about the history, the impact those slow gentle christian fucks had on those cultures in the end.) 30. Blumpkin 31. Poo-plate special 32. The Challenger Explosion 33. The Bratwurst Burst 34. Ring Around the Weiny 35. Clam Bake 36. Open-Faced Meatloaf Sandwich 37. Spalunking 38. The French Poodler 40. Lollie Popping 41. Chinese Pizza 42. Lobster Bisque 43. Homo Tornado (for straights only) 44. Black-on-black Crime 45. The Dick Van Dyke 46. The Dick Van Fag 47.  The Old Testament 48.  The “Just-Like-In-That-Porn” 49.  The Feltch Prince of Bel-Air 50.  Soccer 51.  Genital Holocaust 52.  The Blame Game 53.  Tonsil Hockey 54.  Ovary Badminton 55.  Easy Bake Oven 56.  The Cliffs of Dover 57.  Blanket of Dead Dutch Oven Malfunction l 58.  Pubes in a Blanket 59. The Salted Nut Log 60.  Farmer and Field 61.  The Removable Clitoris 62.  Sexy Autism 63.  Latex Allergy Fetish Play 63. Oh Fuck! 64. Deep, Deep Hand Holding 65. Duck And Cover 66. The Wailing Wall 67. Sexual Congress 68. Charge on Delivery 69. 69 70. The “Do You Like That?” 71. The “Do You Like That, Baby?” 72.  The LeBron James 73.  The Reverse-Abortion (Where we put a baby you don’t want inside you, sexually) 74.  The Cape Cod (If you are a girl and not a Kennedy, you die at the end of this one) 75.  The Cum filled baked potato at Chief O’Neils.  Don’t order it. 76.  Human Ashtray with benefits 77.  Let’s Trade Blood (An “erotic” card game that should be avoided.) 78.  Snow Shoveling.  ( I am sure you are all familar with the other terms related to this one, but this is far worse and involves an actual shovel.”) 79.  Roleplay Sex where one person pretends to be the film Shoah and  the other is The Sorrow and the Pity. If you want to add a third party, they can choose from the plethora of Police Academy movies, expect for the first one. 80.  The Corned Beef Blowjob. 81.  The  Jon Stewart (Where you get pissed on, shat on and then are told that you are really smart and then pissed on again, with a bloody piss from a dying man who has kidney problems that also tells you that you are really smart.) 82.  Green Line Anal Express 83. The  Broken Bulb.  (This is where you fuck your partner so hard their eye pops out and then you try and make it work again by fucking them harder.) 84. The Idi Amin 85.  The Gulag Experience 86.  Sorrow (This is a sexual arrangement where both parties cry separately and slowly come together to fuck while trying to out sob each other.) 87.  Home-Made Ranch Dressing 88.  Red Lobster (This is when white people pretend they are black) 89. Ear Fuck 90.  Pick a Fold and Fuck it Violently 91.  Egg  Toss 92.  Shaking Your Sexual Baby Syndrome 93.  Nude Gravel Angels 94.  Pop that Nut Sack 95.  Astronaut Ice cream 96.  Lets Pretend We Are Out of Oxygen For Real 97.  Taco Salad 98. Blanket of Dead Dutch Oven Malfunction 2 99.  Twat-co Salad 100.  Sparkely Cunt 101.  Penis Sewage Pump 102. 69/11 103. The Swallowcaust 104. The Trail of Tears (of Poon) 105.  Tears of a Mortally Wounded Clown Feel free to add more in the comment page.

[raystapreadingseries-blog]

Ray’s Tap Reading Series Poster #1 for The Anti-Erotic/Sex-Negative/Anti-Natal Extravaganza on March 4th at 9 PM. 

Poster by Susie Kirkwood