reasonswhyineed-blog

[reasonswhyineed-blog]

Reasons Why I Need A Better Legal System Part Two

Okay welcome to part two of why I need a better legal system. In part one I told you about my issues with the police and DCF due to sexual abuse as a child. So since that post got REALLY long and I did not expect it too I am making another post for this story. Still related to that reason but completely different. Now about a month ago I started dating my best friend of nearly 9 years. On our life event on facebook, the thing that says “So and so started dating so and so on blank date”, this female I have never heard of before in my life commented “Yooo who tf is this ho” and began arguing with my boyfriend Kopa about how he was a “shitty brother” etc and when I said to her I was not a “hoe” she started going off on me saying that I stole her brother from her and it was all my fault that he was no longer texting her etc. THEN she messaged me on facebook telling me that I need to leave Kopa “or else” I thought it was hilarious that this girl that knew nothing about me outside the fact that I was dating him was threatening me for that reason alone. So I laughed and asked her if she even knew his real name. She began harassing me and spammed me with a message that said KYS over 100 times and WHORE over 100 times. After nearly a week of her harassing me I asked her why she was wasting my time with this bullshit and she replied with “Exactly! You’re time is coming to an end bye bye dead bitch” when I had told her it sounded like a death threat she said it was. She also harassed my friend telling him that she needed help ruining my relationship that i stole Kopa from her and that she also needed help killing all who betray her. the last comment came after my friend told her that she needed help as in mental help, she had messaged him thinking he was my ex. She also messaged my sister telling her to tell me to kill myself and that she was laughing because I was probably attempting to kill myself. So after the death threat I called the police and told them I had received a death threat when the police arrived they got the information and when I say that they all but mocked me when I told them that while I have not yet met Kopa in person we were planning for me to make the trip to Kansas this summer I mean it. They gave each other amused looks and talked really condescending towards me when asking about him after that. Then they told me that they would not be doing anything about it as she is believed to live in another state and that even if they did it would be to “get her side of the story” and then the male cop told me before he left that it was NOT a death threat even though she literally told me it is. Well I received a call today from an Investigator. So yeah. Fuck this legal system.

[reasonswhyineed-blog]

Reasons Why I Need A Better Legal System

Okay! So by the title you can already tell what I am talking about today. There will be two stories here and I want to say ahead of time about one of them that it is already over so do not contact people, people being dcf or police, on my behalf. Alright so story one is something that took literally years to be over with. Some back story on this, my parents split up when I was 11 so in 2010 is about when this all began. My mom got with this man shortly after we moved down here to Florida. So from 2010 to around 2015 or 2016 is the duration of this. This man sexually abused me for 5-6 years and three times (I swear it was more but youll understand more into the story why I am certain that it was 3 now) DCF was called to my house, the first time was because I told my best friend at the time what was happening and her parents called them as they were worried for me. The second time I believe it was my aunt and the last time it was my camp counselor. So the first time they came out my mom was crying so hard and kept telling them I was lying and that he would never do something like that and being 12 at the time I did NOT want to deal with my mom after they left so I told them I lied to my friend. I was not ready to deal with police and DCF and did not expect her to call them so I was freaked out. I always thought that it was terrible to deal with police and it was a bad thing so being 12 years old and only dealing with cops because of my brothers and sister and it always winding up badly and of course my mother saying i was lying and crying I lied. So the second time they came out I had stayed with my mom at my aunts house and it happened again, I wound up locking myself in the bathroom for the rest of the night and sending my dad texts at literally 3 in the morning begging him to come pick me up. Needless to say i slept in the bathroom because my dad was already asleep and unlike this generation he does not constantly check his phone. So my aunt seeing a change in my behaviour pulled me into her room, shut the door, and had me explain what had been happening. To my face she told me she was sorry and I should never have to deal with that and my mom should have believed me. Days after the police had came and left she told my mom that she thought i was lying for the attention and that I needed therapy etc. I did tell my therapist as well who, thinking she was helping, told my mom and my mom wound up crying and telling me i need to stop spreading lies. The final time they came I had told my camp counselor that I did not want to go home because I was constantly scared to sleep because of what he was doing. So in the airport going home (The camp/retreat was in California) I was pulled aside by one of the staff for the camp and a security guard telling me that the counselor was going to contact my states police and DCF department and that i would have a day to settle in before they arrived but they wanted to warn me. However when my mom pulled up to my dads apartment where i was living to drop me off there were two cop cars in my driveway. The DCF worker did come out the next day and explain to me that he had agreed to come in for a lie detector test, she said they could not force him to as he never raped me or sodomized me and he never actually went in, and that if they were called in again for this as it would be over 3 times that this would proceed to court. That was 3 years ago. It stopped happening when I turned 18 last year and the most that has happened was my nephew informing me of him standing in my doorway watching me sleep at night. There was no investigation, There was no follow up on the situation. The asshole still trys to make me believe that I imagined everything and that he never did a damn thing. This has given me severe depression, severe insomnia, panic attacks and ptsd. I have issues with sex in relationships and I have never been the same. Alright next story in a part two post. Check it out.

[reasonswhyineed-blog]

Reasons Why I Need Feminism

And here comes the hate by the title alone. Before you anti-feminists get angry read this please. So my blog is all about the reasons why I need blank. Today is why I need feminism. I am horribly depressed and hate myself so I have been acting out of character. Yesterday i went out with my ex for the sole purpose of a booty call. Well I started thinking about my life and what I was doing with myself to get there and I got terribly upset so I began crying. He asked me several times whats wrong and I told him “My boyfriend sucks, ive been acting like a whore because I think thats what everyone expects of me and I hate myself for it.” We began talking about that and he began trying to feel my up and bent me over his truck seat and pulled my top and bra up, WHILE im crying mind you, and then he decided to give me “life advice”. I told him that no one wants to talk to me unless they want to have sex with me and he retorted with “Well what do you expect with what you post of facebook and instagram and snapchat? You need to have more respect for yourself and wear more modest clothing not these crop tops and shorty shorts that just make me want to fuck you” I told him that the issue with my outfit was not my outfit but his perception of it. I also told him that my instagram is to reach out to photographers and other models so I can build my portfolio because I am an Alternative model, he told me there is no such thing as an alternative model and that I was a porn model. Mind you I have never posted any pictures in anything less than a crop top and shorts. Also why do I have to dress any other way than how I feel comfortable? He told me that I used to wear more modest clothing and again it has been a year since we were together. I am nearly 19 now and just becoming okay with my body and how I look so I feel more comfortable showing off. I dont give a fuck what I wear that should NOT mean that I am a whore or I am “asking for it” wether asking for it means rape or being talked to solely as a sex object. I dont care if I walk around in a bikini all damn day every day, what I wear should not determine when I stop being a human fucking being and start being a sex object. His words took me back to my anger over school dress codes when I was in high school. Parents start teaching your sons that a womans worth should NOT be determined upon on her outfit. Woman in New York can walk around topless does that make them a whore? No. I will gladly change in front of my friends female OR male without it being sexual. Stop sexualizing my fucking body because you have a penis. How would men feel if they got catcalled for not wearing a shirt or for wearing one thats just a bit tighter on their muscles. This boy who has NEVER felt oppression in that way in his LIFE has the audacity to tell me to cover up if I want to be considered a human being again. He wound up getting a call for a Cardiac Arrest (hes a volunteer firefighter) and he told me on the way back to my house to remember “Someone always has it worse, that guy clearly did, so stay positive” That will come up in another blog post. So if you read all that thank you if not then fine.

TLDR; I need feminism because what I wear determines my worth to men right now.