redheadedteadrinker-blog - Tumblr blog

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Little Hard of Hearing Lately

I'm currently virtually deaf, due to my ears being blocked for some unknown reason! Its horrible saying  'what?' and 'pardon?' constanlty and I feel pretty rubbish about it :/. But I think its also made me see how important my hearing is to me. Its one of the things I don't think I could live without as I enjoy music far too much and listening to someone say they love you is the beautifulist thing on the planet. If I were to miss out on that then I think my life would be very miserable.

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My Motivation

What a questionable life I led before I met my boyfriend.

Sure I had a career to aim for and the startings of a job to finance that, but I felt I had no motivation. What better motivation than someone to share your life and experiences with. Someone who doesn't expect you to change and deals with all your issues head on alongside you. Someone who is there to share in all the achievements you make.

Thanks to me meeting this amazing person I have a great career to look forward to, a job that I love and a loving home to come back to after a 12 hour shift.

With all this I'm Happy. :D

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Typing university assignments.

When doing my university assignments I get so bored and drift off into my own head and get nothing done. I've tried sitting in silence, listening to music ect. But nothing I do keeps my mind from drifting. I think my attention span is rubbish!! No one really cares what an integrated promotional strategy is anyway!

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Working In A Care Environment

Working in a care home is a job for a patient, kind person who can talk at a reasonable volume and enjoys repeating themselves. However everyones patience reaches an end at some point and it is always with their fellow staff rather than with the residents which is a good thing.

Some people just aren't cut out for working in a caring role and it aggravates me as if you can't show a vulnerable human being the respect they deserve then you don't deserve their valuable time.

I think that some people should really think carefully about the job roles they wish to work in as some people are not suited to what they wish to do. Just a little rant as I'm tired and think some people should learn to think!

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Who the fuck invented stress...

Stressed again...

why do little things set me off so easily?

fucked in the head, I think yes...

So many little things annoy me now and then I get so stressed and angry and its unfair to the people I love, well the ones that love me back. Its so hard to get your point across without shouting when you feel like no one is listening. But most of the time no one is listening, except again that one person who acctually loves you back and you don't realise they are listening so just shout and 'cause more shit than before. Then you think why is this person with me when I'm such a horrendous person.

Oh yeah, they love me <3

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Why are things never simple?

When it comes to love things are never simple.

Your sat there explaining to someone how much you love them and that they are amazing in every way shape or form and they say they love you to. But being the wierdo that I am I question it and then I'm told that I can really be loved until I love myself and its like fighting a losing battle. Well practice what you preach motherfucker..

Sometimes this person is the hardest person on the planet to love 'cause of how fragile and damaged they are and its so sad. Giving someone your everything but never making a dent in the walls they have up around them. Its difficult and its scary but I don't want to give up on what might be a difficult time but the best thing that has ever happend to me.

I'm never going to win when it comes to relationships because I say the stupidest thing and get mad and stressed at the wrong time and just hurt everyone else around me because I'm crazy. Absolutely batshit crazy insane...

I just want him to see that I love him even though I have extreme difficulty showing it.

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My new Hairdo :)

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Destroying Hope

Ears filled with screams

Not out loud

But trapped in her head

So it seems

-

Amplified noise causing her pain

All the hate

and venom in his words

an emotional drain

-

Unable to take it anymore

Chair behind the door

Corpse suspended by a rope

He'll wish he allowed her to

Soar on her wings of hope

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Boiled Blood

On and on I marched

Without your life force I'm parched

This dry thirst choking my heart

Tears dead before they start

-

Blood Boiling over the limit

The higher it gets the more I pound my chest

Why won't your smile leave my mind?

I'm obsessed

-

Further on I run

Further from the face that cause my eyes to flood

Further from the one that boils my blood

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April Rain

Soft spoken words

No spice, Just herbs

Silent heartbreak

Then I wake

-

Abandoned i feel

Is this real?

Would you really leave?

I cry, swallow, heave

-

Its not the same

This impossible game

Surely you felt my pain

But you left quicker

than

April

Rain

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Cheating Death (Small piece of writing from me)

Dangerous thoughts fill her mind

The ones she hopes he won't find

Long tales she is slow to unwind

She prays he'll be kind

The other always in her head

How she wishes to share his bed

To love blindly and be led

even possibly to be wed

The confusion clouds her eyes

the more she wishes

the more she lies

the more she wants

the more she cries

To be wrapped in the others arms when she dies...