redironlung

[redironlung]

wanna k!łł myself🤭😇😡😈

[redironlung]

this was me back in late October of 2023

but just this december i hit probably my lowest:

97 ibs or 44.3 kg

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[redironlung]

In the depths of my being, a tempest roars, Rage, an inferno that consumes and soars. A storm of emotions, turbulent and wild, Unleashing fury, an untamed child.

With fiery eyes and a heart ablaze, Rage courses through me, in myriad ways. It's the thunderous crackle in my voice, The searing passion, my soul's own choice.

A symphony of anger, notes piercing the air, Rage, a primal force that I dare not spare. It fuels my spirit, ignites my will, A burning energy I cannot still.

In the chaos of rage, I seek clarity, To rise above the fury, with integrity. To temper the flames, find balance within, And let rage be a catalyst, not just a din.

[redironlung]

[redironlung]

I choke the urge to scream crawling up my throat

[redironlung]

“Parents aren’t supposed to bury their kids “

I tell myself

But then parents aren’t supposed to do a lot of things to their children

So I guess it won’t matter if they did this one more thing

[redironlung]

maybe i should just stop talking. i want all of my secrets back.

[redironlung]

Every time I say I'm at my lowest... next time is always lower.

[redironlung]

the feminine urge to isolate myself from the world and cry until i throw up

[redironlung]

I don’t think suicidal thoughts actually ever go away.

[redironlung]

I feel like I’m drowning again. I’m falling back into old, bad habits, losing motivation to do anything again and my self esteem has gone completely out the window. I’m not sure how to survive this time.

[redironlung]

[redironlung]

i just weighed myself and for the first time was actually shocked by how low the number on the scale was…

47.7kg ~ 105 pounds

[redironlung]

[redironlung]

[redironlung]

pov: a friend asks for food and im the first to give her mine <3

[redironlung]

weighed myself yesterday for the first time in a while and omg i was shocked ngl

i’m 106… that’s actually crazy, one pound away from my ugw and yet i somehow feel like i can loose more…