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Climbing the Mountain - and getting knocked back down

Climbing the Mountain - and getting knocked back down. Mike shares an update on his journey with Alopecia.

Mike shared his story on the blog a while ago and has an update which I know a lot of people will find interesting to read.

Mike found Mold to be the root cause of his alopecia and had gone to great lengths to combat this in his home life. Here he explains how he is getting on since his last post.

Reece.

Mike’s invisible enemy part 2..

I’m sure some of you way be wondering what happened…

[reecito]

The familiar pattern has returned.

When I say pattern, I mean the loss and regrowth – but I could just as easily mean the holes on my head where hair should be. This time I have done something slightly different to deal with the oh-so familiar cycle of hair loss.

Covering up

Since mid 2018 – I’ve been hiding (hair loss) in plain sight. I’ve been using a spray and fibres to cover patches – which help me feel more comfortable in everyday life. Times such as:

going out somewhere

heading to work

standing in a queue

sitting in front of someone on the train

Times where you just want to blend in and deal without the paranoid feelings creeping in that people may be looking at your strange hair pattern.

Why did I do it?

I always thought I wouldn’t do this and ’embracing the bald’ was the way forward for me – this was also the reason I shaved all my hair off the first time. But this time, with experience –  I knew that every time I shaved it – the bald patches would be really visible due to my dark hair regrowth – so I decided not to.

I only applied to the huge patch/Friar Tuck spot in the front of my head and (very occasionally) on the larger patches at the back of my head. Here’s the huge patch which has been growing and actually changing in size over 2018/19

August 2018

The middle patch in August 2018

The spot remained the same – and covering it helped me feel more confident and able to walk around without feeling like people were staring at the spot in the middle of my head.

June 2019

Still hanging around in 2019

As you can see – it didn’t budge in 2019. And it is still here in 2020! However it is slightly different this time – more on that later…

How I did it

If I wasn’t working, going out or heading off somewhere – I didn’t bother spraying anything at all. I feel comfortable with my family and friends seeing the patches  – and if I needed to go out and couldn’t be bothered spraying – I could always wear a hat if I really wanted to.

I used a spray and fibres and it looks like this (This post is not sponsored and unfortunately I have paid for every item I have bought). Though I bought the ‘black’ version, not the dark brown ones as pictured.

If I was going somewhere or wanted to cover the patch then I:

styled my hair with wax

sprayed the black ‘disguise spray’ onto the bald patch

dropped some fibres over the area

finished with a fixing spray (strong hairspray) 

– et voila. It seemed to work.

Here’s a video of the daily spray – it takes under a minute

How has it worked for me?

Well nobody has ever noticed the spray  – or were too polite to say.

As far how I felt using it – most of the time, I was fine with it – unless I was:

under a mega bright light

already feeling low

caught in a sudden downpour of rain

And even when I was caught in the rain – it didn’t ever ‘run’ or stream down my face.

The times I felt uncomfortable were few and far between and it just allowed me to get shit done without obsessing about my hair – which lets be honest – I (and anyone else reading this) has probably done enough of over the years.

It allowed me to give my brain a break for very little effort.

I was sceptical at first and didn’t want to use it and have constantly been asking my partner and friends – is it time to shave it all off? And they keep saying ‘No’.

Abi and the eyebrows 🙂

But these were the same people who encouraged me to use that god awful eyebrow pencil and we all know how that turned out… WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?!?

So what’s happening now?

I’m posting now as I’m aware I have been consistently losing and gaining hair.  I have been spraying and didn’t really want to give a depressing update to anyone that follows this looking for hope.

But a number of people have asked how I am doing and wanted an update and some of you who have now become friends keep saying “your hair looks fine in your pics on social media” so I thought it was time to come out with the truth.

I HAVE BEEN SPRAYING THE BALD AWAY

I am still using it when I feel like it – not everyday – though have been reaching a point over the past 6 months where I want to shave it all off again – as I feel like a fraud and just want to be more comfortable in my own skin.

This would then mean shaving my head everyday and I don’t know if I want to do that either.

2020 update

Here’s the big ‘Friar Tuck’ spot with white regrowth – at the end of January 2020

What’s Next?

I will continue to use the spray occasionally, until either the hole finally closes up or I get too pissed off and shave my head. Either way  – I will try to update you in real time.

I have noticed that some of the hairs in the spots I was spraying are actually growing back – but white. I now have an ever increasing collection of white patches all over my head. Have a look:

Left

centre

Right

Now I can’t be too sure if this is just normal ageing and I’m getting grey. Or is this the non-pigmented hair coming back before it turns black again (which is what happened last time).

I also can’t be sure that the huge spot isn’t just a part of male pattern baldness at the age of 42 – but it is a very alopecia sized spot and there is grey hair growing back in there. so who bloody knows?!

Anyway – that is my very overdue update for 2020. I’m happy to carry on looking like a monochrome leopard – for now.

Photo by Adriaan Greyling from Pexels

  The 'monochrome leopard' look How I am coping with the ever present alopecia areata spots and have started embracing my inner leopard. The familiar pattern has returned. When I say pattern, I mean the loss and regrowth - but I could just as easily mean the holes on my head where hair should be.

[reecito]

Yusuf's story

Yusuf's story. Read how someone (apart from me) has dealt with the reoccurrence of alopecia. Thanks Yusuf for your honesty!

As I explained at the end of my last post. I want to share other’s stories with you. This one comes from Yusuf, a business owner from London who wanted to share his alopecia journey. I’m sure you will enjoy reading it as much as I did.

Yusuf at work – can you spot the alopecia?

  When I was 34….

It all started in 2015 well, June 23rd 2015 to be precise, a date imprinted in my memory and my iCal…

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Here we go AGAIN! :(

Here we go AGAIN! :(

I’ve been reading through posts on this blog. This is my twentieth post since I started in February 2013. You couldn’t exactly call me prolific. Apologies my posts have been few and far between.

There seems to be a pattern to my subject matter (aside from patchy hair loss). One time I post about how bad my hair is falling out – then my next is about regrowth – then I talk about loss and the…

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One year on - one year to go??

One year on – one year to go??

I have convinced myself after frantic searching and googling, worrying and reassuring – that my Alopecia is going to last 2 years. I have read this and heard (someone who knew someone who knew someone) and their’s “only lasted 2 years” –  give or take…. Even Miles Boyer the photographer only had full blown Alopecia for roughy two years.

I know Alopecia can be a cruel mistress and am unsure why I…

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Regrowth, regrowth, regrowth

How I 'maybe' managed to get 100% #regrowth following a new bout of #alopecia

Yes you read it right from my triple title above – my hair is back – thicker and fuller that it’s been in ages. In my last post, I was heading in a downward spiral – in terms of mood and also hair loss – the dreaded patches were emerging again. Well  – they’ve all gone from my head and I finally have 100% regrowth. I don’t have to avoid triple mirrors in dressing rooms anymore!

Here’s how I maybe

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Symptomatic/Psychopathic. Zombie features.

What happens to you when you feel a bout of something coming on? What’s your tell? The reason you start to panic or brace yourself for the ensuing episode? Mine is the start of my zombie features – a period where I swing between bouts of obsessing over my dry skin and general mania.

The reason I’m asking is because I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately (surprise surprise).

It goes like this…

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It's happening again

It’s happening again

Well my hair is officially coming out again – after months of denial – I popped into H&M today and unfortunately caught the three way view of the back, front and side of my head. It’s looking holey, threadbare and generally a bit shit. Here are some photos taken this week: Patch at the front – January 2017 Back of the head January 2017 Back of the heed January 2017   I’ve still got a way to go…

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LDN and Alopecia

No I’m not talking about the capital of the UK or quoting a Lily Allen song, I’m on about Low Dose Naltrexone (LDN) – a drug that I’ve just started taking. Apparently naltrexone, in a low dose (the LD in the LDN), can normalise the immune system — helping those with HIV/AIDS, cancer, autoimmune diseases, and central nervous system disorders. A lot to live up to. The drugs Naltrexone’s normal use…

[reecito]

Ok  – so that’s a blatant lie. I do care  – but I’m adopting a much more relaxed approach to falling hair – when I see it on my laptop, desk or pillow I flick it off and try not to stress about it – most of the time.

What’s changed?

Nothing, I just know from past experience that stressing will not help me in the slightest. I am also trying out my ‘mini habits’ in an effort to curb stress and freak outs. They seem to be working.

The spots

O.K. so the hives/urticaria are still coming and going and I’m unsure if they are caused by emotional stress or intolerances but they remain a constant at the moment.

Is the hair loss following the same pattern as last time?

Nope. It is now coming away everywhere! Last time it was confined to my head – face and scalp. This time my chest hair is taking a beating. Have a gander at this:

The chest

Last time I lost hair on my scalp, I didn’t really lose any on my chest – apart from one wee dot – which as you can see has now spread and had lots of little spotty babies dotted in random places across my chest.

Patchy Chest

My scalp

Alopecia patch

Patches

I keep looking at the patch on my left side whenever I get out of the shower – but the same apocalyptic feelings just aren’t there as much anymore – I give a wee shrug and feel a bit shit but so far I can pat hair over it and carry on with my day. When the day comes – or should I say – if – it comes, I have a handy pair of shears with my head’s name on them. I’ve done it before and have no issue with shaving it all off again.

I do have a few patches on my head but they seem to be minimal compared to the fast spreading ones on my chest. And like I said – I’m really not that bothered at the moment

The good news

My facial hair seems to be returning! Amidst all the shedding, my moustache is making a bit of a comeback. I am not going to rival Tom Selleck anytime soon but it’s coming back very, very slowly.

So I can now have a moustache! Ok it’s patchwork kind of moustache but it’s mine, I grew it and my face feels ‘normal’ again. It’s like I’m 14 again and trying to prove I NEED to shave. I forget it’s there but every time I see it, I have a wee smile.

So I was off work for a full week and didn’t shave. This is the result:

14 year old flashback

Those wee white hairs on my chin have been there since September 2012, when I hoped they would gradually turn black and grow like they used to. They haven’t so far – so I may rock a badger beard in the future – who knows.

Eyebrows

I’m pretty unsure what’s happening with these former caterpillars. I keep thinking that my left eyebrow is filling in a bit and then i notice wee spots of bald across both eyebrows and the panic sets in again. I can deal with no hair but would rather keep my eyebrows and eyelashes this time if possible.

Eyebrows August 2016

The Future

God knows what’s to come with the hair anywhere on my body. I’m heading to Australia, Singapore and Thailand in December so who knows if I am going to be getting my bald head burnt or crossing continents with a decent head of black hair. I’ll keep you posted.

    Patchy hair- don’t care Ok  - so that's a blatant lie. I do care  - but I'm adopting a much more relaxed approach to falling hair - when I see it on my laptop, desk or pillow I flick it off and try not to stress about it - most of the time.

[reecito]

Howdy folks

Can I start by saying that – the reason I started this blog was to:

“post pictures and share stories of how I’m getting on with alopecia areata as I want to be a positive voice for a not-so-positive type of hair loss”.

I was sick of hearing horror stories and reading depressed people on blogs who (in my mind at the time) were obsessed with the reason for their alopecia.  I thought that their quest was an all-consuming, doomed crusade.

The above quote was my mission statement when I began the blog – but I failed to realise I actually was (and to an extent still am) one of those obsessed people – trying to work out ‘Why me’?!

What’s happened over the course of the few years I’ve been blogging is that I’ve started to dread these confessional moments – so much so that recent posts have been few and far between. I didn’t want to jinx the fact my hair was coming back by talking about it – and I didn’t want to sound like a whiny obsessive.

BUT – here I am -owning the fact that I am a whiny obsessive – at times. And that’s cool – I mean – my hair is coming out in patches across my head for f*cks sake! So I’m going to cut myself some slack, stop obsessing about obsession and get you up to speed.

I wrote the following blog post yesterday and I talk about my newest obsession – SPOTS. . .

_________________________________________________________________

Last time I explained that the patches are peeking through again. What I failed to mention was that this time they’ve been accompanied by some other weird affliction – hives/spots/urticaria whatever you wanna call it.

Spot the difference

This started in January 2016 when I noticed a few red spots on my hand. I brushed them off as just wee spots or maybe contact dermatitis. However – over the past few months  – as my hair has been falling – the spots/hives have been coming back and spreading all over my body with an almost daily regularity.

  This isn’t anything new – I have always had seasonal bouts of skin flare ups – as most folk do – prickly heat/heat rash and a wee bit of eczema occasionally. However – as this has coincided with my second bout of hair loss – my frantic mind overtook my sensible one and I started becoming reacquainted with the manic Google search. Worst mistake ever.

In-between protracted google searching and obsessing over the placement of dots – I kept badgering my doctor to get me referred to a dermatologist for both my alopecia and this new skin issue.

I finally got an appointment last week at the dermatologist – when I arrived I had NO spots – typical. I did have the above photos on my phone – which I showed her. She diagnosed Cholinergic Urticaria. So that’s a double whammy of alopecia areata and cholinergic urticaria.

Why is my immune system such a twat?

Cholin-er-what-now?

Sometimes referred to as heat bumps, as the rash appears as very small – surrounded by bright red flares.

What causes cholinergic urticaria?

A rise in core body temperature resulting in sweating causes the rash in cholinergic urticaria. Common triggers can include:

Exercise

Hot baths/showers

Emotional stress

Argh – stress rears it’s ugly head again as a potential trigger :(

Obviously as my alopecia’s back & this is happening – I’m now stressing out more about both of the above – a vicious cycle of anxiety is occurring – and whirring. My already strung out brain is wondering if I have literally brought all of this upon myself – with the aforementioned ’emotional stress’.

So what am I going to do?

Firstly I’m going to deffo STOP obsessing and googling ‘hives‘, ‘red dots on skin‘, ‘urticaria‘ and all the rest every five frigging minutes – we all know where frantic googles lead…usually to a diagnosis of cancer or some other terminal, tropical, incurable disease.

I’m going to try to chill the f*ck out – on a daily basis – this applies both at home and work. Easier said than done but I have a few ideas:

How I’m going to chill:

I’m going to try to start a daily practise of mindfulness  – even for just five minutes – every single day

I’m going to start going back to Bikram Yoga – I went for a few months last year and loved it. I haven’t been for a while and am thinking it might help

I’m going to keep exercising 3 or 4 times a week

I am going to try and write more on this blog

This is the hardest one – I’m going to try and cut down on the alcohol and processed food. I generally eat a healthy, vegetable and protein heavy diet but I do like the regular beer/wine/gin.

  So what am I going to do if nothing works?

If, after 3 months (September 2016) none of the above help my current situation (spots and patches) – I’m tempted to go back on anti-anxiety medication – to stop the constant whirring thoughts and chatter that occupy my brain during most of my waking and worrying hours. Thoughts that are either taken up by spots or hair loss. What an exciting combo – spot and patch sound like a pair of low-rent strippers.

I’m having a daily battle with the should I – shouldn’t I. Maybe the anti anxiety medication will stop the hives and/or alopecia – or just stop me worrying about both.

Here’s hoping that in 3 months  – I’ve calmed down and either gotten used to being spotty and patchy – or they have cleared up.

I will, as ever  – keep you posted. Give me a shout if you want to chat or if you have any advice on the above.

Cheers

Reece

    Out damn spot. . . Howdy folks Can I start by saying that - the reason I started this blog was to:

[reecito]

Hello Darkness, my old friend...The return of Alopecia and departure of hair (again).

Hello Darkness, my old friend…The return of Alopecia and departure of hair (again).

No, this post isn’t an homage to Simon & Garfunkel, as lovely as they are. I’m merely borrowing lyrics to highlight my current mood. It’s getting darker – which is the inverse of my hair – which is getting lighter. By lighter I mean patchier. By patchier – I mean – the always lurking alopecia areata is making a comeback :(

One year on

It’s been precisely a year since I started to grow my hair…

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2016 #Alopecia Update

I’m starting this post with an apology – sorry for not posting to all those people asking for an update. The reason I started this blog was to give people regular information and to keep track real time of what was happening with my alopecia. I didn’t keep my end of the bargain but here’s an update  – with a possible explanation.

The reason I haven’t blogged as much as I promised

Aside from being…

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Practice what I preach?

It’s time to take heed of my own advice – as some of you who follow this blog may know – I recently started growing my hair in as it has started to come back all of a sudden.

Not yet ‘full circle’ – damn it!A strange thing is happening – some people who got to know me P.A. (Post Alopecia) now imagine me as always having a bald head or a fair complexion. Which is crazy to me as I have always had…

[reecito]

Hair update

So, I decided a week or so ago to ditch the razors and let my hair grow back….









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Here's a video about ME...

Here is a bit more about me...

I had to create a 2 minute intro video a while ago (for a Digital Marketing course I am doing with Google). I gave this blog a shout in the video but didn’t actually share here. Sorry folks.

Anyway – here it is…

As you can see – I am still ‘rocking the bald’ despite getting almost full regrowth – I am still shaving my head everyday…

[reecito]

Happy 13th #Birthday to my gorgeous wee baby Lola. Such a young looking #dalmatian :)