Happy disability pride month! I decided to draw some disabled Barbies, most, if not all, from the fashionista line!
note: I'm not fluent in Brazilian Sign Language, please let me know if I messed this up in any way!!
[ ID: a digital, stylized drawing of five women sitting around a brown table and talking to each other. The background is transparent, and there's some shading. The women are, from left to right:
A woman a wheelchair and has dark skin, black eyes and long, coily, black hair, and wears pink heart glasses and a short, sleek, rainbow striped dress. Then, a woman with Down Syndrome with tanned skin, hazel eyes and long, wavy, blonde hair, and wears a white dress puffy sleeves, pink, yellow and purple flowers, a pink necklace and pink orthopedic shoes. They both smile.
Then, a Deaf woman with pale skin, green eyes and long, straight, red-ish brown hair in a high ponytail, and wears hot pink hearing aids, a short, black dress with a white collar and hot pink, white and purple flowers and dark hot pink shoes. She does the sign for bus in Brazilian Sign Language, her two hands close to her chest, curved inwards, then going forward, breaking apart, like a bus door opening.
Next to her is a woman with vitiligo with dark skin, dark brown eyes and long, dark brown, coily hair in a large bun, wearing a long, pink, yellow and white striped dress and white shoes. Finally, a woman with alopecia with medium tone skin, brown eyes and no hair, wearing a hot pink dress with puffy sleeves and purple flowers, golden hoop earrings and white shoes. They both have neutral expressions. /End id ]
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• Writing this for anyone struggling with: Alopecia, hair loss, thin hair, diseases, etc A few people i know have alopecia, and I think it's beautiful so I wrote this.
•.Black female reader in mind, but no specifics except hair texture. Sanji x F!reader
• Word count: 1.9k
• ⚠️: Self doubt, self hatred, depression, body dysphoria. Goes through the process of losing more hair, and shaving it off completely.
"Do you need any more help in the kitchen?" You looked over at your boyfriend. Everyone left the dining hall an hour ago, and it was only the two of you left. Cleaning up the mess as usual.
"No, I'm ok baby" Sanji turned to you as he washed the last few remaining dishes. "You haven't had a bath yet right?" He puffed out some smoke from his cigarette. The cherry glowing on his slender fingers before he rubbed your back. "No, I haven't. I guess I should huh? I've been cleaning all day, my hair got messy too." He hummed. "Go relax Ma chérie, i'll take care of the dishes and then I'll join you in the sh—" You instantly shake your head to the request. He turns to you, taking out his cigarette. His eyes filled with concern. "Are you ok my love? Did I say something wrong?"
You shake your head again and rub your arm timidly. "I think I'll just bathe alone tonight. Besides, I need to wash my hair. It takes me all night, and you look tired so.."
He hums lightly before placing the clean dishes in the cupboards. He opened his mouth to speak, his eyes filled with concern before you left a tender kiss on the side of his cheek. "Goodnight Sanji, I'll see you In bed ok?" He nods, not really able to speak before you skip out of the kitchen and into the bathroom and lock the door.
You stretch your arms a bit in the mirror before taking off your long wig. The curls bouncing up as you lift it off your head. If it was up to you, you'd keep it on. But you needed to treat the matted mess underneath your wig cap if you wanted to see any progress. "Ok.." You mumble before pulling out your cosmetics bag. "I need to try Dr. Miracles enhance oil after I wash my hair with…Dammit where is it?!"
You move items out of the bag before you pull out a small shampoo bottle. The big fat label meeting your gaze 'Hair growth'..
"Perfect!" You exclaimed, before stripping the rest of your clothes off and dipping yourself in the comfortable water.
You peeled off your wig cap before throwing it to the floor. Your hands immediately snuggling over your matted hair.
"Holy shit— I actually think it's growing!" You smile a bit at the long feeling in your hair. A bit upset you didn't check first in the mirror of how much was actually growing. "Alright.." You exhale, before unraveling your braids, and dipping your head into the warm water.
Your thoughts drifted to a certain blonde, and how soon it'd be when youd face him with thick, long hair. Your real hair. Not that wig or the extensions you always wore with confidence around the ship. You definitely arent going to miss how hot it burned with it on in the sun, or how itchy it got at night when you cuddled up to Sanji in bed. Or how guilty you get when you turn down sanjis requests to run his slender fingers through your scalp with your favorite shampoo.
No, you weren't going to miss any of that.
But, they did make you happy..and comfortable. You wouldn't mind experiencing freedom and control with your hair though. In fact it was what you were hoping for.
You were starting to wonder what would happen if Sanji saw you without the wig as you are now. Large bald spots and thinning strands that kept you worked up no matter how many times you tried to fix it. Oils, body therapy, fruits vegetables, diets, shampoos, and therapy. You've tried it all. The routine you're building now, being one of the many attempts.
Was it all for nothing? Did your hair actually grow or were you just imagining things?
Would he be disgusted? Ashamed of you?
Honestly, you didn't want to find out. Good thing you have the wigs. For now.
"Ok…time for shampoo then I gotta braid my hair again!" You lifted your hair out of the tub. You noticed how after your hair met contact with the water, already some of it started to fall off your head.
"Shit…" you mumbled, a bit nervous to continue scrubbing your hair, but you comply. Lightly, and hesitantly scrubbing your scalp. Feeling all the open spots where hair should be.
It was disappointing, yet again another treatment didn't work. You weren't seeing progress. In fact, as you scrubbed more hair fell out. No matter how softly you rubbed, or how lightly you brushed your hair.
It still came out.
"No—nonononono" You stopped washing your hair once a huge chunk came out and into your palm. You get out of the tub and rush for the mirror, your breath heavier and your chest tight while you struggle to open the bathroom door.
"SHIT!! PLEASE—" You stumble your way from the bathroom to the mirror. Your hands gripping the edge of the sink.
Most of your hair was gone, only to be replaced by big spots.
You felt like you could faint. The hopes you had of having control over your hair are gone. In replacement is just…nothing.
Well, almost nothing. There's still tiny amounts of hair…but it's thin. It won't last long…
"FUCK…NO" Your breath hitches before you let out a sob, a scream? Does it really matter? Tears fall down your face while you examine yourself in the mirror. You felt like all the control you had, was gone. You couldn't help but let out a wail as you threw your hair products on the ground. Some cracking at the hard blows.
"Y/N, love…are you ok?" A soft knock could be heard at the door. Your eyes widen before you gulp down your broken voice, trying not to whine. It was almost painful to hold back. "S-Sanji…yes I'm ok..I'm fine" You breathed heavily, trying to put on your wig.
"You don't sound fine baby. Can you open the door?"
Your heart sank to your stomach as you let out a breathy "yes". You didn't have time to put the wig on, so you dumped it under a few towels before covering your head up with a large towel and slowly opening the door.
Your boyfriend stood in the door, worry plastered on his face as he looked at you. His eyes softened once he saw how puffy and red your eyes were. "Baby…" He moved swiftly inside the bathroom before locking the door behind him. His fingers instantly come up to your face as he wipes away the remaining tears.
"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" You shake you head softly before he starts checking your face and body for any marks or injuries. "Sanji wait—" You grip the towel wrapped around your head and body before he can pull it off. "What's wrong?" He rubbed his thumb on your cheek, the action making your throat clench back a whine..You felt dizzy, confused, hideous.
You didn't want him to see you like this.
"I just..I don't" You couldn't talk, the big lump in your throat grew every time you even dared. You sank to the bathroom floor, clutching the towel over your body. He kneeled down with you,his hands wrapping around your waist before pulling you into his lap. Your wet body dampened his suit, but he didn't seem to care.
He kissed your forehead repeatedly while rubbing your back. "Sanji…it's gone" He kissed your head more,his voice was low and soft. "What's gone, baby?" You hiccup as the knot in your throat finally lets go. Letting out a long wail.
He rubbed your back while his lips mumbled soft words of comfort on your cheek. "It's ok, it's ok…I'm here..let it out"
You shake your head against his chest. Your eyes were almost swollen at that point. "No it's not ok! Everything is-"
He could see you were distraught..but about what? He didn't want to force you to talk if you weren't comfortable. But what was he supposed to do?
He held you closer to him and rested his chin on the top of your head as you cried.
Minutes later you calmed down a bit, wiping your tears with the back of your free hand while the other gripped the towel for dear life.
"Sweetheart, look at me" He gently moved his hand under your chin, his slender fingers rubbing gently against your swollen throat. You peeked your puffy eyes up at him, he gave a small smile before kissing your cheeks. "There she is, that's my baby…"
You hiccuped again before letting your eyes rest closed. Your grip on the towel slightly less tight as you relaxed in his touch. He kissed your nose before rubbing the small of your back.
"My hair…" you bit your lip, eyes darting away from his. "It's gone..most of its gone"
"Your hair?" You nodded again before he hesitantly put his hand behind the back of your head. "Can I…? Take it off sweetheart? I promise you're safe with me."
Your grip on the towel instantly came back. You breathed out, his eyes looking at you worried. "Ok.."
He slowly took off the towel, seeing your hair... Your real hair for the first time.
You covered your face with your hands in embarrassment and shame before his gentle cold fingers pulled them away to give you soft kisses.
"Don't look at me…I'm hideous" the knot on your throat started to tie again. His brows furrowed before kissing your head all over. His long fingers coming to rub and massage the backs of your head and neck while you silently cried in his arms.
"Don't you dare say that…ever again. You're beautiful"
"NO- I'm not!! It's gone! It's all gone…"
You feel him take a deep breath and he kisses you on the temple. "Its ok love...its ok"
His soft words made you cry harder.
"Come here. Come on sweetheart. You need to sit." He lifts you up and places you on the sink counter while wiping your puffy eyes. "You're beautiful…" He mumbled against your head as he placed kisses around all your insecurities.
"You're everything to me, and I will never stop loving you...no matter what happens…ok?" "You're breathtaking..with or without hair Y/N"
You nod against his shoulder as he rubs a circle between your shoulders.
After a moment, when you felt steady enough to walk again, he takes the towel from your head. "Here..I'll help you get through this ok?"
He kisses your cheek. "What do you want to do? I'll help you sweetheart"
You thought for a second.
You wanted to try using something other than the care products. They either didn't work, or they made it worse...you were tired of seeing the patches of what was left of your hair. So you said the first thing that popped into your head.
"Cut it off…"
He nodded almost immediately before lifting you off the sink onto his lap again.
He gave your head a last soft kiss before taking the hair clippers and shaving off what remained of your hair.
His hand came to rest with yours as he kissed your head.
"It's gone….' You whine before burying your head on his chest. He rubs your back softly before the machine turns on again.
Your eyes instantly open as you feel soft petals of hair fall on your cheeks.
Blonde petals of hair.
"SANJI—"
He kissed your forehead repeatedly before the machine turned off again. He smiled down at you. You couldn't help but smile too along with a few tears down your cheeks.
"Thank you…"
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