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We looked inside some of the posts by refineandprune and here's what we found interesting.
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I have a lot of regret for ignoring the resentment that was building & festering in my heart till it was too late. Had I created boundaries I would not have had a breakdown & turned into an ugly person. Boundaries protect you & they protect the other person. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way. When you take on every emotion & try to fill every need & make yourself accessible to people 24/7 you will just run yourself ragged & become angry when others don’t make themselves constantly accessible to you in the same way. It’s a recipe for disaster.
People pleasing is a trauma response rooted in fear of abandonment or not measuring up or desiring for people to like you. My people pleasing stemmed from wanting to be liked & not feeling like enough... which caused me to feel the need to constantly prove my worth & value. But in reality it only allowed for resentment to build when others didn’t make the same sacrifices or weren’t as intentional. It only caused me to feel taken advantage of. It attracted people who take & take & take with no regard. It only brought me people who were insecure people & knew I’d shower them with affirmation & love. I was a supply. It only exhausted me & left me lonelier than ever.
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I think it’s a good thing to think about this in relation to those around us. Love others not how they deserve to be loved (in their broken, sinful, shortcoming & “willful mistakes”) but how God desires us to love other.
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Do you feel invisible? Have others burned you for showing up as yourself? I want this to sit on my timeline like a stone of remembrance: There is beauty at the core of your soul where your gifts rise up to ease the world’s groans. And sometimes we stow away our beauty for safekeeping, after too many people have walked right by or someone has called it bad or snatched it as theirs alone. Beauty is shy. And beauty seeks companions. Beauty rises up in confidence only when she feels safe enough to be seen. As a writer, I have found that usually a person’s beauty will beckon either greater belonging for others OR bring out their brokenness. A person’s response to beauty in others says much about their state of safety and current story of either scarcity or trust. It was hard to see beauty in myself when others bullied it. So, I cried a lot. And I prayed that God would bring me companions who are not afraid of the wild abundance of beauty in one another. Relational pain sifted me like a sieve. What was left inside was a longing to bless the beauty in others. And: a refusal to curse the beauty in myself. Over the years, I have found people who trust that the sacred in others does not diminish the sacred in them. So that’s why I came to Mexico on vacation. Because God does answer prayers. And whether others have brushed you aside or broken your heart, I want you to know: There are people who are practicing being courageous enough to trust that beauty is not a crumb. Your wounds can become your welcome. Your ache can become the place you stay awake. Beauty isn’t a commodity to hoard, win, or sell. It is the ever-expanding wonder of being one in whom God dwells.
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Comfort, ease, & success… or sacrifice & suffering & God’s glory.
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