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[rekhareads]

Hows England treating you? Or aren't you there yet? I'm veryyy jealous! I hope you have a great time studying abroad!

England is treating me excellently, thank you for asking! In fact, if you so wish, you can follow my adventures through my punnily titled abroad blog, where there will be novelty pictures and bad jokes galore.

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Updatey Thing

Hi friends! So for the last two weeks, I have been 1) extremely sick and 2) frantically packing for my YEAR ABROAD IN ENGLAND OMG. Which is why I haven't been posting. I do intend to post during the school year, but since, again, ENGLAND OMG, it will probably be at a bit of a slower pace. Just wanted to let y'all know that I'm still alive and tumblin' for the foreseeable future.

Also, FANTASTIC BEASTS MOVIE OO-RAH

[rekhareads]

The Bribe

In which Remus nooooo pls stop it bby :(

"What's going on? Is everyone okay?"

"Yes," said Lupin, "but we're all being watched. There are a couple of Death Eaters in the square outside--"

It was established that all of the Order are now the Secret-Keepers since Dumbledore died, right? So isn't Snape one? I guess he must be lying and saying that someone else is the Secret-Keeper or the Death Eaters would have stormed the place by now, but you'd think Voldemort would realize that Snape could let them in.

"Were they Death Eaters or Ministry people?" interjected Hermione.

"A mixture; but to all intents and purposes they're the same thing now," said Lupin.

I remember reading this and thinking "HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLY COME BACK FROM THIS?" It's just so insurmountably awful.

"But surely people realize what's going on?"

"The coup has been smooth and virtually silent," said Lupin. "The official version of Scrimgeour's murder is that he resigned; he has been replaced by Pius Thicknesse, who is under the Imperius Curse."

"Why didn't Voldemort declare himself Minister of Magic?" asked Ron.

Lupin laughed.

"He doesn't need to, Ron. Effectively he is the Minister, but why should he sit behind a desk at the Ministry? His puppet, Thicknesse, is taking care of everyday business, leaving Voldemort free to extend his power beyond the Ministry."

This is such a nightmarishly brilliant plan as well, because as Lupin says a little later in the paragraph, declaring himself openly would be an invitation for all-out rebellion. Tyrants fear those they rule more than anything else--Voldemort knows that if the magical population were openly united against him, he likely could be defeated by sheer numbers.

"The Ministry is determined to root out such usurpers of magical power, and to this end has issued an invitation to every so-called Muggle-born to present themselves for interview by the newly appointed Muggle-born Registration Commission.'"

"People won't let this happen," said Ron.

"It is happening, Ron," said Lupin. "Muggle-borns are being rounded up as we speak."

I also see modern-day similarities in the atrocities we allow to happen, even with full awareness. One example that comes to mind are drone strikes. President Obama has authorized drone strikes that have killed schoolchildren, wedding parties, and many more groups of completely innocent civilians, all in the name of...what, exactly? We know about this, but we don't do anything. Maybe we sign an online petition, or email a congressman, but that's it. I'm guilty of so-called armchair activism as well. It can be incredibly disheartening to feel like you can't make a difference, especially when ten years ago we would have adamantly said that we would never allow such things to happen.

Sorry, political rant is now over.

Harry felt sickened and angry: At this moment, excited eleven-year-olds would be poring over stacks of newly purchased spellbooks, unaware that they would never see Hogwarts, perhaps never see their families again either.

"But I might still be of some use to you. You know what I am and what I can do. I could come with you to provide protection. There would be no need to tell me exactly what you were up to."

Harry hesitated. It was a very tempting offer, though how they would be able to keep their mission secret from Lupin if he were with them all the time he could not imagine.

When I first read this I almost cried with happiness because I was like "FINALLY REMUS GETS TO BE A BIG PART OF THE STORY THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST CAMPING TRIP EVER." Also, come on, Harry, you know you can trust Remus, why would you try so hard to keep the mission secret from him??

Wait, I just thought of something. How was he planning to keep them safe during his transformation each month?

Lupin sprang to his feet: His chair toppled over backward, and he glared at them so fiercely that Harry saw, for the first time ever, the shadow of the wolf upon his human face.

this is such a sad and vivid way to describe the anguish he's in. POOR Remus.

"My kind don't usually breed! It will be like me, I am convinced of it--how can I forgive myself, when I knowingly risked passing on my own condition to an innocent child? And if, by some miracle, it is not like me, then it will be better off, a hundred times so, without a father of whom it must always be ashamed!"

"How--how dare you?" said Lupin. "This is not about a desire for--for danger or personal glory--how dare you suggest such a--"

I don't know, I think this is pretty motivated by Remus hoping he'll get killed on the journey rather than have to face his child if it's indeed a werewolf, which I do think is pretty cowardly. He's in a terrible terrible situation here, and I do wish that Harry had leaned more towards the love end of tough love, but ultimately I'm so glad that he goes back to Tonks.

Oh, and then there's Rita Skeeter with her Bathilda Bagshot interview that Veritaserum clearly played a part in. I mean, I know she's not exactly the Ministry's #1 concern right now, but I really wish she'd been arrested and locked up for slander, libel, illegal Animagus-ness, illegal truth potion use, and general awfulness after the war ended.

There was the sound of pattering feet, a blaze of shining copper, an echoing clang, and a shriek of agony: Kreacher had taken a run at Mundungus and hit him over the head with a saucepan.

"Call 'im off, call 'im off, 'e should be locked up!" screamed Mundungus, cowering as Kreacher raised the heavy-bottomed pan again.

"Kreacher, no!" shouted Harry.

Kreacher's thin arms trembled with the weight of the pan, still held aloft.

"Perhaps just one more, Master Harry, for luck?"

Holy shit I always laugh at this SO MUCH. A++++++. Exactly what this chapter needs after the emotional awfulness of Remus's part. Was this in the movie? I feel like it wasn't, and it really should have been.

"No, he hasn't," said Ron shrewdly. "He's wondering whether he should have asked more money for it."

I love how street smart Ron is! Harry and Hermione would have never figured that out.

"Little woman. Bow on top of 'er head."

He frowned and then added, "Looked like a toad."

OOOOOH I HATE HER I HA TE H ER IHATEHERIHATEHER

[rekhareads]

Woah I had rekhamooo bookmarked, and all of a sudden there was a "not found" page :O but a quick google search brought me to this page, I'm glad you're not gone! Your rereads are the best :)

Haha oh no I'm sorry, I just thought it was time to give my tumblr a slightly-more-accurate name. Thanks for reading!

[rekhareads]

I'm a few chapters ahead of you, at the part where they're visiting Godric's hollow. But I wanted to hear your thoughts on Ron and Harry's argument, as throughout your re-read, you've mentioned his constant insecurity and no doubt the locket was playing on that. immensely. Is it bad that during that huge fight, while I was angry that he left and what he said , I couldn't help but feel bad for him?.

Of course not, and I can't imagine that anyone wouldn't feel bad for him at that point. Harry's family is dead, and Hermione's is relatively safe in Australia; Ron's entire family is in danger, two of his brothers have already been severely injured, and if Ron is caught, everyone he loves will likely be tortured and killed. Of course, Harry cares a lot about the Weasleys, especially Ginny, but Ron has never been cut off from his family in such a way and I think that the constant stress of not knowing what's happening to his loved ones, along with the insecurity and the locket, is what pushes him to leave. Which he regrets immediately. He's flawed, but I just can't not love Ron, you know?

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domestic!kreacher is my fave too omg srsly I've followed you for a while now and thought you were awesome and now you ship Jily omg my OTP my heart them as parents whyyyyyyyyyyyyy /sorry bye now

dude I have shipped Jily since before I knew what shipping even was they are BEYOND PERFECT and they would have been the BEST PARENTS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. fuckin voldemort.

and also it is my headcanon that after the war, Kreacher moved in with Harry and Ginny and became like a father figure to Winky and helped her sober up and told Harry's kids really creepy and inappropriate bedtime stories about the Black family

[rekhareads]

Kreacher's Tale

In which we get a triple dose of heartbreak in the forms of 1) Lily's letter, 2) Sirius's bedroom, and 3) Kreacher's story. Bring on the tissues and clamp down on your buttocks because this is a super long one.

Okay first of all, this chapter art. YOU GUYS.

Can we just talk about how happy and precious and adorable they all are? Even Peter? And Sirius and Remus have what look like Beatles haircuts and Peter's head looks like a thatched roof, and the Whomping Willow in the background is just a sapling, and this is the ONLY magical picture Sirius had in his room, and I want a prequel so badly it gives me gas. GAS, I tell you.

Ron had had a fit of gallantry and insisted that Hermione sleep on the cushions from the sofa, so that her silhouette was raised above his. Her arm curved to the floor, her fingers inches from Ron's. Harry wondered whether they had fallen asleep holding hands.

Somebody had searched the house since the Order had left. Snape?

Ding ding ding! Mad-Eye's protections weren't really that effective, were they.

There were many pictures of Muggle motorcycles, and also (Harry had to admire Sirius's nerve) several posters of bikini-clad Muggle girls; Harry could tell that they were Muggles because they remained quite stationary within their pictures, faded smiles and glazed eyes frozen on the paper. This was in contrast to the only Wizarding photograph on the walls, which was a picture of four Hogwarts students standing arm in arm, laughing at the camera.

1) This is a completely irrational headcanon to have, but it is my firm belief that Sirius was a huge closet fan of Charlie's Angels from the very beginning, and had posters of Farrah Fawcett everywhere, and Lily was the only one who knew and when she found out she laughed until she cried and then promised to keep his secret. That is my belief. Do not take this away from me.

Dear Padfoot,

Thank you, thank you, for Harry's birthday present! It was his favorite by far. One year old and already zooming along on a toy broomstick, he looked so pleased with himself, I'm enclosing a picture so you can see.

It is TOO DAMN EARLY to be tearing up but here we are. One of the recurring motifs in this book, at least to me, is the hints of the life Harry could have had, if Voldemort hadn't robbed him of it. This letter and the flashback he has in Godric's Hollow are the most tear-inducing to me. Look at his first birthday, where he is hugged and loved and played with and showered with gifts, and then compare it to all the shitty birthdays he has with the Dursleys. Harry's thirteenth birthday is literally the first one he can remember where he ever gets birthday cards and presents, and seeing how loved he was and how wonderful his life would have been is so, so unbearable to me.

Also, Sirius bought him his first broomstick, and then the Firebolt when he came back into his life. MY HEART.

Of course, James thought it was so funny, says he's going to be a great Quidditch player, but we've had to pack away all the ornaments and make sure we don't take our eyes off him when he gets going.

The wizard afterlife is canon, right? Because in "Beyond the Veil" James says that they're so proud of Harry, implying that they've been watching him? So I'm going to go ahead and say that I'm really glad James got to watch all of Harry's matches, and I'm sure he was screaming more expletives than anyone else when Cormac McLaggen broke his skull.

Also, it's just really, really cute to read about James and Lily just being parents, you know? They are my literal favorite couple in the series and I still want to just read everything about the mundanities of their life together.

James is getting a bit frustrated shut up here, he tries not to show it but I can tell--also, Dumbledore's still got his Invisibility Cloak, so no chance of little excursions.

So I'm a bit confused about the timeline of this whole thing--maybe you guys can help me out. Harry's birthday is in July, right? And it's been established that Dumbledore only had the Cloak for a few days leading up to the Potters' deaths? So why did Dumbledore apparently have the cloak three months before it happened? Maybe he borrowed and then returned it several times? Am I missing something obvious? HALP this part has always confused me.

Harry's extremities seemed to have gone numb. He stood quite still, holding the miraculous paper in his nerveless fingers while inside of him a kind of quiet eruption sent joy and grief thundering in equal measure through his veins.

You and me both, Harry.

She had made her "g"s the same way he did: He searched through the letter for every one of them, and each felt like a friendly little wave glimpsed from behind a veil. The letter was an incredible treasure, proof that Lily Potter had lived, really lived, that her warm hand had once moved across this parchment, tracing ink into these letters, these words, words about him, Harry, her son.

I'm actually crying an embarrassing amount right now? From behind a veil. Jesus fucking Christ on a Vespa this is not okay. I wish so much that we'd gotten to read a letter from James, but I suppose that's what the Marauder's Map was.

A black-haired baby was zooming in and out of the picture on a tiny broom, roaring with laughter, and a pair of legs that must have belonged to James was chasing after him.

THEY WERE SUCH GOOD PARENTS THIS JUST KILLS ME. Is something you will see me shouting often, over the course of this book.

"Harry, I know you really want to go to Godric's Hollow, but I'm scared, I'm scared at how easily those Death Eaters found us yesterday. It just makes me feel more than ever that we ought to avoid the place where your parents are buried, I'm sure they'd be expecting you to visit it."

How is she so RIGHT all the time?

"What's up? If it's massive spiders again I want breakfast before I--"

again

again

implying that they have had to deal with giant spiders in the house in the recent past. well this chapter just got a lot more high-stakes, considering a giant spider could just scuttle out at ANY TIME WHATSOEVER

Regulus's bedroom was slightly smaller than Sirius's though it had the same sense of former grandeur.

I get the strong sense that Regulus was just slightly lesser to Sirius in every conceivable way that would have mattered to a 16-year-old, and joining the Death Eaters was born of extreme overcompensation. At Hogwarts he would just have been Sirius's less-awesome kid brother, and at home I imagine he would constantly have borne the brunt of his parents' anger once Sirius left home. I think Regulus really just wanted to stand out for once, and I hope that he and Sirius made up in the wizard afterlife.

"It was an honor, said Master Regulus, an honor for him and for Kreacher, who must be sure to do whatever the Dark Lord ordered him to do...and then to c-come home."

Did Regulus know what he was doing? Was this already his plan, to figure out where the Horcrux was hidden? I think so, but it still speaks to how little he regarded house-elves--he may have treated Kreacher relatively kindly, but he didn't hesitate to use him (for what easily could have been a fatal exercise) for his own purposes. A heroic purpose, but I think it's a selfish action nonetheless, because Kreacher doesn't know or care exactly what Regulus suspects will happen to him, or why he's been "chosen."

"Of course, Voldemort would have considered the ways of house-elves far beneath his notice, just like all the purebloods who treat them like animals....It would never have occurred to him that they might have magic that he didn't."

Again with the planting-little-seeds-of-plots thing. It is SO RAD that Voldemort's continual underestimation of everyone he considers beneath him ends up being his downfall. Let's take Hermione, for example. I've always thought that Voldemort must have never really noticed her or given much thought to her, when you would think he would want to eliminate the Cleverest Witch In Their Year (TM). If he'd taken the time to pay attention to her, I bet he would have made SURE to kill her like he did Amelia Bones and Emmeline Vance, and then Harry and Ron would have been screwed ten times over.

"I don't understand you, Kreacher," he said finally. "Voldemort tried to kill you, Regulus died to bring Voldemort down, but you were still happy to betray Sirius to Voldemort? You were happy to go to Narcissa and Bellatrix, and pass information to Voldemort through them...."

"Harry, Kreacher doesn't think like that," said Hermione, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand. "He's a slave; house-elves are used to bad, even brutal treatment; what Voldemort did to Kreacher wasn't that far out of the common way. What do wizard wars mean to an elf like Kreacher? He's loyal to people who are kind to him, and Mrs. Black must have been, and Regulus certainly was, so he served them willingly and parroted their beliefs."

So...are house-elves programmed (for lack of a better word) to be completely incapable of abstract thought? At least, bound elves, not free ones? That's just so unspeakably sad and disgusting. Not only are they forced to obey any commands, even suicidal ones, it's literally impossible for them to conceive of a bigger picture that makes sense beyond "my master likes this so I like it too."

"Sirius was horrible to Kreacher, Harry, and it's no good looking like that, you know it's true....I've said all along that wizards would pay for how they treat house-elves. Well, Voldemort did...and so did Sirius."

This might be one of the most chilling things Hermione says in the series, and it reminds me of what Sirius said about judging people by how they treat their inferiors--only, Hermione walks the walk, and Sirius didn't.

And then they give Kreacher the fake locket, setting him on the path to my favorite redemption story in the world. Domestic!Kreacher is my favorite Kreacher, which is saying something, because in spite of his flaws Sirius is one of my all-time favorite characters and I will never fully forgive Kreacher for killing him and then laughing.

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A Place to Hide

In which our heroes kick off their EPIC CAMPING VACAY '97 with a brief kerfuffle with some Death Eaters and a rendezvous in No.12 Grimmauld Place.

"Yes, they're here," said Hermione, and to Harry and Ron's utter astonishment, she pulled out a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt, some maroon socks, and finally the silvery Invisibility Cloak.

"How the ruddy hell--?"

"Undetectable Extension Charm, said Hermione. "Tricky, but I think I've done it okay; anyway, I managed to fit everything in here." She gave the fragile-looking bag a little shake and it echoed like a cargo hold as a number of heavy objects rolled around in it.

What I'm wondering is why they didn't just do the same with like a nice fleecy backpack or something and then climb into every night to sleep? And why don't wizards do this to their houses? They could have palaces inside shacks!

"You're amazing, you are," said Ron, handing her his bundled-up robes.

And don't you ever fucking forget it, Ronald.

"All right, darling?" the drunkest of the men on the other pavement was yelling. "Fancy a drink? Ditch ginger and come and have a pint!"

This part is so weirdly jarring to me. Like, they've had to blend in temporarily to go to St. Mungo's and whatnot, but now Hermione's getting catcalled by drunk assholes and then they just order cappucinos and it's weird because we've never seen them interact with the modern world like normal, modern people. At this point I almost expected them to check into a motel and blast the Spice Girls and try to go undercover as Muggles.

"But I've never done a Memory Charm."

"Nor have I," said Hermione. "But I know the theory."

What? But she modified the crap out of her parents' memories! Maybe changing memories is a different theory than removing them altogether.

"It's no wonder I can't get it out, Hermione, you packed my old jeans, they're tight."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," hissed Hermione, and as she dragged the waitress out of sight of the windows, Harry heard her mutter a suggestion as to where Ron could stick his wand instead.

HA. Obscenely Sassy Hermione is one of my favorite Hermiones. When I first read this, an innocent young lass of 14, I really thought she was muttering something like "Well, you could have put the wand in your back pocket or perhaps up your sleeves. Just a friendly suggestion." 

"Ron's dad said they've put up jinxes against him--and even if they haven't worked," he pressed on as Hermione began to argue, "so what? I swear, I'd like nothing better than to meet Snape!"

And do what, exactly? Again, the last time Harry and Snape fought, Snape kicked his little butt. He hasn't exactly developed any superpowers that would defend him against a skilled dueler since then.

"Severus Snape?"

Mad-Eye Moody's voice whispered out of the darkness, making all three of them jump back in fright.

When I first read this I was like THANK MERLIN'S LACIEST G-STRING because I thought it was literally Mad-Eye and that he had somehow been hiding out in Grimmauld Place for the last few weeks.

Malfoy's gaunt, petrified face seemed branded on the inside of his eyes. Harry felt sickened by what he had seen, by the use to which Draco was now being put by Voldemort.

Of all the people who needed a lot of therapy after the events of this book, I think the Malfoys are pretty high on the list. Poor Draco :(

This was shorter than usual, but the next chapter, Kreacher's Tale, is one of my favorites in the book! Yay!

[rekhareads]

The Wedding

In which we see some old friends and meet the famed Auntie Muriel, who is like everyone in the world's least favorite relative mixed into one person.

I just want y'all to know that I'm heroically writing this review in spite of the fact that I somehow managed cut the side of my right thumb while trying to pull a loose thread out of my dress (yes, really), causing typing to become very painful. You're. Welcome.

"When I get married," said Fred, tugging at the collar of his own robes, "I won't be bothering with any of this nonsense. You can all wear what you like, and I'll put a full Body-Bind Curse on Mum until it's all over."

Agh Fred you have to stop breaking my HEART

Slightly cross-eyed, with shoulder-length white hair the texture of candyfloss, he wore a cap whose tassel dangled in front of his nose and roves of an eye-watering shade of egg-yolk yellow. An odd symbol, rather like a triangular eye, glistened from a golden chain around his neck.

"Xenophilius Lovegood," he said, extending a hand to Harry, "my daughter and I live just over the hill, so kind of the good Weasleys to invite us. But I think you know my Luna?" he added to Ron.

"Hello, Harry!" she said.

"Er--my name's Barny," said Harry, flummoxed.

"Oh, have you changed that too?" she asked brightly.

I feel absolutely NO conflict where Luna is concerned. PERFECT CHARACTER IS PERFECT.

As she drifted off after her father, Ron reappeared with an elderly witch clutching his arm. Her beaky nose, red-rimmed eyes, and feathery pink hat gave her the look of a bad-tempered flamingo.

HA! Jo is SO good with vivid character descriptions and I think this one might be my second favorite in the series, right after Umbridge's, where she makes us instantly loathe her with a few words about that damn cough.

"Oh yeah, Auntie Muriel, this is our cousin Barny."

"Another Weasley? You breed like gnomes."

Okay, she sucks, but that line is kind of awesome. You get points for sass, Muriel. BUT ONLY THIS ONE TIME.

"But before he went loopy he was the life and soul of the party," said Fred. "He used to down an entire bottle of firewhisky, then run onto the dance floor, hoist up his robes, and start pulling bunches of flowers out of his--"

Uncle Bilius is my literal favorite character that we never meet.

They were all laughing so much that none of them noticed the latecomer, a dark-haired young man with a large, curved nose and thick black eyebrows, until he held out his invitation to Ron and said, with his eyes on Hermione, "You look vunderful."

It's my personal canon that Viktor and Hermione stay in touch when they grow up and sometimes he comes to visit and Hermione and Ron's kids gets super excited and Ron just grumbles and says things like "SO HOW'S YOUR WIFE?" and "TOO BAD YOU CAN'T STAY LONG CAN YOU."

"Sign?" said Harry, looking over at Xenophilius too. THe strange triangular eye was gleaming on his chest. "Why? What's wrong with it?"

"Grindelvald. That is Grindelvald's sign."

Another thing JKR is a pro at? Planting little seeds of storyines that will turn out to be SUPER MEGA IMPORTANT but at the time have their own perfectly self-contained arcs. To slip into film-major mode, she does a great job of creating both longterm and short-term tension within the same plot points.

"Rita Skeeter? Oh, I love her, always read her!"

RAGE. Again I find myself wondering on what side Rita fell during the war.

"What d'you mean, locked in the cellar?" asked Harry. "What is this?"

Doge looked wretched.

I don't really understand why Harry would choose to believe a woman who is probably Rita Skeeter's literal only fangirl, who is saying something absurd and sensational. It'd be like believing Perez Hilton when he told you Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio were eloping on top of Mount Everest in an hour with Nicolas Cage as their minister. (If it actually does happen. you heard it here first.)

Then the Patronus's mouth opened wide and it spooke in the loud, deep, slow voice of Kingsley Shacklebolt.

"The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming."

Holy SHIT this might actually be one of the best/worst cliffhangers with which to end a chapter. It's just SUCH a radical and jarring twist from all the happy/slow-burning things that've been happening in this chapter, and it's even more shocking because even though okay, it's the last book, you know things have to get worse before they get better, Voldemort taking over the ministry was always a nebulous sort of worst-case scenario, and now it's happened. Going into this I had thought that the goal would be to stop him from gaining power, and in theory, he's already succeeded at that, so when I first read this I was like "well where in the hell can they go from here?"

Body count: 4. Rest in peace, Rufus. You kind of sucked but you tried to do what you thought was the right thing, and that's admirable.

[rekhareads]

The Will of Albus Dumbledore

In which Rufus Scrimgeour pokes his wand through a hole in Harry's clothing. Not like that, unfortunately for the approximately zero fanfiction writers out there who ship Scrimpotteour.

"I think Voldemort's looking for him."

"Poor bloke," said Ron fervently.

This always makes me laugh inexplicably hard. I just...it's maybe the most appropriate response to a statement about Voldemort that we read in any of the books.

Harry siezed the wand lying beside his camp bed, pointed it at the cluttered desk where he had left his glasses, and said, "Accio Glasses!" Although they were only around a foot away, there was something immensely satisfying about seeing them zoom toward him, at least until they poked him in the eye.

Ladies and gentlemen, the savior of the magical world.

"This isn't your average book," said Ron. "It's pure gold: Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches."

I'mma stop Ron right there to point out that I really, really hope there's a chapter in there about contraception spells or some such, because it seems to me that Hogwarts is REALLY lacking in the sex ed department. Add that to the list of classes they should offer, along with personal finance and basic first aid.

"It's traditional to give a wizard a watch when he comes of age," said Mrs. Weasley, watching him anxiously from beside the cooker. "I'm afraid that one isn't new like Ron's, it was actually my brother Fabian's and he wasn't terribly careful with his possessions, it's a bit dented on the back, but--"

The rest of her speech was lost; Harry had got up and hugged her.

Ohhhh my god. The things this watch symbolizes just slay me. The Weasleys are like his parents, and they're giving him the traditional gift that his parents would give him if they were alive. They don't have to, he has no idea what the tradition is, but they do it anyway because he's one of their own and of course he gets a watch. And it's Fabian Prewett's old watch, and he was killed horribly by Death Eaters and Mrs. Weasley must hang onto all the things she has of her brothers' so so carefully, but she gives this one to him anyway. They got Ron a brand-new watch because they knew he values new things that have never been used, but I think giving this one to Harry is kind of Mrs. Weasley's way to tell him that it's okay, she knows he's brave like her brothers were and he has to go off and do this dangerous thing. 

She was looking at him steadily; he, however, found it difficult to look back at her; it was like gazing into a brilliant light.

"Nice view," he said feebly, pointing toward the window.

She ignored this. He could not blame her.

Harry's awkward non-flirting is my favorite thing.

Although Lupin smiled as he shook Harry's hand, Harry thought he looked rather unhappy. It was all very odd; Tonks, beside him, looked simply radiant.

BUT IT WASN'T BECAUSE HE DIDN'T FUCKING LOVE HER HE WAS JUST SCARED AND FULL OF SELF-LOATHING BECAUSE HE THOUGHT HIS CHILD WAS A LITTLE BABY WEREWOLF

"Six years ter the day since we met, Harry, d'yeh remember it?"

"Vaguely," said Harry, grinning up at him. "Didn't you smash down the front door, give Dudley a pig's tail, and tell me I was a wizard?"

um awkward try harder with your memory harry this is embarrassing

"Are you planning to follow a career in Magical Law, Miss Granger?" asked Scrimgeour.

"No, I'm not," retorted Hermione. "I'm hoping to do some good in the world!"

It is my headcanon that everyone in the wizarding world hates lawyers just as much as Muggles do, and there are a metric fuckton of terrible Magical Law Enforcer jokes told in the Leaky Cauldron.

"Interesting theory," said Harry. "Has anyone ever tried sticking a sword in Voldemort?"

When I first read this, I was SO CONVINCED that this was how Harry would defeat Voldemort, because not only would it kill the piece of soul inside of him, it would also probably work because unless Voldy somehow picked up krav maga skills in the Albanian forests, he probably wouldn't know how to deal with physical combat.

I open at the close.

"Come off it!" said Ron, looking in disbelief from Harry to Hermione. "You must've heard of Babbitty Rabbitty--"

"Ron, you know full well Harry and I were brought up by Muggles!" said Hermione. "We didn't hear stories like that when we were little, we heard 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs' and 'Cinderella'--"

"What's that, an illness?" asked Ron.

LOL FOREVER AT THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION. Although I wonder if Harry even knows the Muggle fairytales. Somehow I just can't imagine Petunia sitting in his cupboard and reading him bedtime stories.

Body count: Still 3, unless you count the shattered remnants of Scrimgeour's dignity.

[rekhareads]

The Ghoul In Pajamas

In which Ron and Hermione demonstrate their commitment to being the best friends anyone could possibly want.

"I think Mum thinks that if she can stop the three of you getting together and planning, she'll be able to delay you leaving," Ginny told Harry in an undertone, as they laid the table for dinner on the third night of his stay.

"And then what does she think's going to happen?" Harry muttered. "Someone else might kill off Voldemort while she's holding us here making vol-au-vents?"

Ugh. Mrs. Weasley is a badass, of course, but she's always been inclined to overprotectiveness and I think it does more harm than good in this case. Doesn't she realize how dangerous it is for them to not be able to plan? I mean really. Denial doesn't take you very far when a known superpowered and semi-immortal villain is on the hunt for a not-quite-seventeen-year-old sitting in your kitchen.

(Also, until I typed out that sentence I didn't quite register that Harry's not even seventeen yet. Holy shit, you guys. In muggle terms, this is his summer before his junior or senior year of high school, depending on what the cutoff age is where he lives. He's just a kid.)

"And as there are around twenty of us, that greatly dilutes the power of the Fidelius Charm. Twenty times as many opportunities for the Death Eaters to get the secret out of somebody. We can't expect it to hold much longer."

Well SOMEBODY clearly didn't read JKR's Pottermore entry on the Fidelius Charm. The secret can't be tortured out of anyone, Mr. Weasley! Rejoice!

"We are holding your brother's wedding here in a few days' time, young man--"

"And are they getting married in y bedroom?" asked Ron furiously. "No! So why in the name of Merlin's saggy left--"

But with a great creaking of rusty bedsprings, Ron bounded off the bed and got there first.

CONTEXT IS EVERYTHING. Seriously though, it always makes my day (and Ron's too I'm sure) on the rare occasions that he does something completely right when it comes to Hermione.

"Assuming I survive our hunt for the Horcruxes, I'll find Mum and Dad and lift the enchantment. If I don't--well, I think I've cast a good enough charm to keep them safe and happy. Wendell and Monica Wilkins don't know that they've got a daughter, you see."

Hermione's eyes were swimming with tears again.

I cannot even comprehend being able to make this kind of a sacrifice. Like, ever. Taking her parents' memories of her must be the hardest thing Hermione has ever done, and it's just. She is the BEST FRIEND. Ron is the BEST FRIEND. And I love them both SO MUCH

"Ron, show Harry what you've done."

"Nah, he's just eaten," said Ron.

I feel like we're missing a sentence about how that is possibly the single most ominous thing your best friend could say to you at any given moment.

Harry merely looked his confusion.

This sentence construction has always annoyed me enough that I scowl a little bit every time I read it. I know it's stupid, but I'm a nitpicky English major, I can't help it.

The measures they had taken to protect their families made him realize, more than anything else could have done, that they really were going to come with him and that they knew exactly how dangerous that would be. He wanted to tell them what that meant to him, but he simply could not find words important enough.

[rekhareads]

Fallen Warrior

In which George loses an ear and we lose Mad-Eye.

The next thing he knew, he was lying on his back on what felt like cushions, with a burning sensation in his ribs and right arm. His missing tooth had been regrown.

Oh thank god. I did NOT want this to be my mental picture of him for the rest of the book.

As she moved into the room, Mrs. Tonks's resemblance to her sister Bellatrix became much less pronounced.

I'm really curious as to what her dynamic with the Weasleys and Harry was after the war, as well as with the community at large. Did she get adopted into their family (I hope so), or did she partially blame Harry for what happened to her husband and daughter (god, I hope not)? Was she faced with hate for being part of Bellatrix's family/resembling her? Because I imagine people would have a pretty visceral reaction to anything reminding them of someone so evil. I WANT TO KNOW THESE THINGS.

Harry knew immediately that there was something wrong: Lupin was supporting George, who was unconscious and whose face was covered in blood.

"What creature sat in the corner the first time that Harry Potter visited my office at Hogwarts?" he said, giving Harry a small shake. "Answer me!"

"A--a grindylow in a tank, wasn't it?"

Lupin released Harry and fell back against a kitchen cupboard.

"Wha' was tha' about?" roared Hagrid.

Really? Come on, Hagrid. You literally just saw seven people transform into Harry Potter. You are in a war with a psychopath who is at the moment immortal. Anyone with even the slightest little smidge of common sense should be able to tell what that was about.

Lupin looked aghast.

"Harry, the time for Disarming is past! These people are trying to capture and kill you! At least Stun if you aren't prepared to kill!"

Only emojis can adequately describe the way I feel about badass!Lupin, and I'm not typing this from my phone so you'll just have to leave it up to your imagination.

"He lost an ear," said Lupin.

"Lost an--?" repeated Hermione in a high voice.

"Snape's work," said Lupin.

It makes me feel a little bit bad that Snape died with everyone thinking he was this big asshole who on top of everything cut off George's ear. Also, I wonder if people gave Albus Potter shit for being partially named after a dirty ear-snatcher.

George's fingers groped for the side of his head.

"Saintlike," he murmured.

"What's wrong with him?" croaked Fred, looking terrified. "Is his mind affected?"

"Saintlike," repeated George, opening his eyes and looking up at his brother. "You see...I'm holy. Holey, Fred, geddit?"

A muscle was jumping in Lupin's jaw. He nodded, but seemed unable to say anything else.

I'm so curious as to what was going through his mind in this scene. Does he know yet, that Tonks is pregnant? I feel like he does, and right now he's just putting himself through the worst guilt ever for allowing her to be in this situation.

Looking directly at his father, he said, "Mad-Eye's dead."

I think that even more than Hedwig, this was the moment where we knew all bets were off for this book. We're four chapters in of the three characters we've lost, one has been in the series from the beginning and one is, like, the rock of the team. I'm a film and English double major and I want to write for TV someday, and when I read this it just jumps out at me like "SERIES FINALE. THIS IS SERIES FINALE.LEVEL SHIT." And again, we're ONLY FOUR CHAPTERS IN, LIKE WHAT EVEN IS THIS

Lupin was wearing an odd expression as he looked at Harry. It was close to pitying.

"You think I'm a fool?" demanded Harry.

"No, I think you're like James," said Lupin, "who would have regarded it as the height of dishonor to mistrust his friends."

Harry knew what Lupin was getting at: that his father had been betrayed by his friend, Peter Pettigrew.

And Lupin's totally right. Like, I think trust is admirable and wonderful, but blindly trusting everyone was James's undoing in the end. In this case, it's kind of obvious to me that Mundungus is the one to blame (hello, he ran away, and he's a little shit) even if they don't know the circumstances of his being Confunded. Occam's Razor, people. Come on.

"Mad-Eye's body," said Lupin. "We need to recover it."

"Can't it--?" began Mrs. Weasley with an appealig look at Bill.

"Wait?" said Bill. "Not unless you'd rather the Death Eaters took it?"

I have to admit, Mrs. Weasley really irritates me at the beginning of this book. I get that she just wants to keep her family safe, I do. But being overprotective isn't really going to help anyone in the long run.

"But it was supposed to have stopped! Your scar--it wasn't supposed to do this anymore! You mustn't let that connection open up again--Dumbledore wanted you to close your mind!"

When he did not reply, she gripped his arm.

"Harry, he's taking over the Ministry and the newspapers and half the Wizarding world! Don't let him inside your head too!"

I think this is a really cool way to introduce two themes of this book: Voldemort's degrading control over their link, and Hermione's fear of what she doesn't understand.

Body Count: 3. Rest in peace, Mad-Eye. Whatever afterlife you go to, I hope your buttocks remain intact.

[rekhareads]

The Seven Potters

In which Jo ends Harry's childhood in a scene fraught with metaphor and awfulness.

"And under here, Hedwig"--Harry pulled open a door under the stairs--"is where I used to sleep! You never knew me then--Blime, it's small, I'd forgotten...."

:'( YOU WERE SO SMALL TOO HARRY

Harry's heart seemed to expand and glow at the sight: He felt incredibly fond of all of them, even Mundungus, whom he had tried to strangle the last time they had met.

Even Mundungus? He must be really happy because fuck Mundungus. With a plunger.

"Harry, guess what?" said Tonks from her perch on top of the washing machine, and she wiggled her left hand at him; a ring glittered there.

"You got married?" Harry yelped looking from her to Lupin.

Now that I know their backstory I am DOUBLY HAPPY ABOUT THIS BECAUSE I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG AND HE WAS NOT FORCED INTO ANYTHING AND TRULY LOVED HER. AND SHE WAS SUPER SAD DURING THE SIXTH BOOK BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO KILL HIMSELF, NOT BECAUSE SHE WAS A SADSACK PINING OVER HIM. JUST SO THAT'S ESTABLISHED. OKAY MOVING ON FROM CAPSLOCK NOW

"Our only chance is to use decoys. Even You-Know-Who can't split himself into seven."

Oh, ha. Ha di fucking da.

With all of their eyes upon him, Harry reached up to the top of his head, grabbed a hank of hair, and pulled.

Fred and George turned to each other and said together, "Wow--we're identical!"

"I dunno, though, I think I'm still better-looking" said Fred, examining his reflection in the kettle.

I just love how consistent they are with their characterization. Not in a bad way, and not that they don't change at all, but like...from the very beginning of the series, they've known exactly who they are and that's kind of rad.

"Bah," said Fleur, checking herself in the microwave door, "Bill, don't look at me--I'm 'ideous."

Okay I'm starting to see why the family may not have been the biggest fan of Fleur's. Harry's standing right there! Guys have self-esteem problems too ya know!

"I knew Ginny was lying about that tattoo," said Ron, looking down at his bare chest.

It is my personal canon that Ron only half-believed Ginny was joking for like what, five months? Which is extra-amusing because hello, they LIVE IN THE SAME DORM and presumably USE THE SAME SHOWERS. Maybe British guys make super-concerted efforts not to see each others' bare chests? Because I'm an American girl and my roommate and I accidentally walked in on each other in various states of undress literally all the time this year.

And then Harry gets all cozy in Hagrid's sidecar, and I have to wonder, why wasn't Harry using the invisibility cloak at this point? Wouldn't it have been the safest thing? Especially if he could somehow get the FIrebolt under it as well and just fly that way?

I guess it doesn't matter, because everything is awful anyway.

A second's relief, and then another burst of green light. The owl screeched and fell to the floor of the cage.

I know Hedwig's death is supposed to symbolize the end of Harry's childhood, that he can't have anything innocent to cuddle anymore. Hedwig was his first link to the magical world, and that link has been severed. WHYYYYYY

A wall, a solid brick wall, erupted out of the exhaust pipe.

Add some turtle shells and a mustache and you've got a game of extremely-high-stakes Mario Kart.

Then the sidecar began to fall in earnest, and the remaining Death Eater shot a curse so close to Harry that he had to duck below the rim of the car, knocking out a tooth on the edge of his seat--

I can't remember if this gets fixed or not. I hope so, because otherwise I'll have to imagine him with a bald spot AND a missing tooth and I'll keep bringing it up and everyone will get annoyed so hopefully he fixes it soon.

As the pain from Harry's scar forced his eyes shut, his wand acted of its own accord. He felt it drag his hand around like some great magnet, saw a spurt of golden fire through his half-closed eyelids, heard a crack and a scream of fury.

So Harry's wand has imbibed enough of Voldemort's essence through Priori Incantatem that it recognizes him even without his wand and...regurgitates some of the spells Voldemort's used? Or are the golden flames from the scene way back in book 4? This part confuses me.

Body count: 2. RIP, Hedwig. You were a good owl. And tbh I kind of liked your death in the movie better, because at least then you got to fly one last time.

[rekhareads]

The Dursleys Departing

In which as suggested by the title, we see the last of the Dursleys.

Harry's favorite moment had been the one when Uncle Vernon, unaware that Dudley had added his dumbbells to his case since the last time it had been unpacked, had attempted to hoist it back into the boot and collapsed with roars of pain and much swearing.

File under: scenes I wish were in the movie

"Are you out of your mind?" demanded Harry. "A plot to get this house? Are you actually as stupid as you look?"

It is really really lovely how Harry has progressed from living in fear of the Dursleys to giving approximately zero shits.

"Once I'm seventeen, the protective charm that keeps me safe will break, and that exposes you as well as me. The Order is sure Voldemort will target you, whether to torture you to try and find out where I am, or because he thinks by holding you hostage I'd come and try to rescue you."

Uncle Vernon and Harry's eyes met. Harry was sure that in that instant they were both wondering the same thing.

What did you say to one another at the end of sixteen years' solid dislike?

I kind of wish he'd had some strong words for them, but I think Dumbledore did a pretty good job of the verbal takedown last year.

"Know how to--? Of course I ruddy well know how to drive!" spluttered Uncle Vernon.

"Very clever of you, sir, very clever, I personally would be utterly bamboozled by all those buttons and knobs," said Dedalus.

Here's hoping Vernon never meets anyone from New York City.

"Well, this is good-bye, then, boy."

He swung his right arm upward to shake Harry's hand, but at the last moment seemed unable to face it, and merely closed his fist and began swinging it backward and forward like a metronome.

This will never not make me cackle uncontrollably. Again: I SO wish that had been in the movie.

"I don't think you're a waste of space."

Agh I love this SO MUCH. As much as it would be vicariously joyful to read, Harry was never going to get any big declarations of respect and remorseful affection from the Dursleys, and this is so realistic to their relationship. He'd never tell Harry he loved him--if it comes to that, he probably doesn't--but he doesn't think, though Harry has been told so his entire life, that Harry's a waste of space, and that's kind of amazing given how shitty his character was at the beginning of the series.

"I hope everything's okay," said Harry with a glance toward Aunt Petunia and Dudley.

"Oh, I'm sure we shall end up the best of chums," said Diggle brightly, waving his hat as he left the room.

Dedalus Diggle, I'm going to go ahead and say you're an optimist. I kind of really hope that the Dursleys spent the year having relentlessly happy platitudes hammered into them, and that by the end of it all they stumbled out of the safe house shouting "HARRY POTTER HOLDS A UNIQUE POSITION IN THE HEARTS OF THE ANTI-VOLDEMORT MOVEMENT ALL HAIL."

"Blimey, Dudley," said Harry over Aunt Petunia's renewed sobs, "did the dementors blow a different personality into you?"

I guess they kind of did, didn't they? At least, they showed him what he truly was, and that was enough of a wakeup call for him to change.

She stopped and looked back. For a moment Harry had the strangest feeling that she wanted to say something to him: She gave him an odd, tremulous look and seemed to teeter on the edge of speech, but then, with  a little jerk of her head, she bustled out of the room after her husband and son.

AGH again with the emotional resonance. I really, really, REALLY wish that Petunia had just this once been able to set aside her bitterness and prejudice to tell Harry that she had loved Lily too and comprehended what he was up against and hoped he would succeed. But again, it was more realistic that she wouldn't have been able to overcome decades of forced hatred toward the magical world.

Body count: Still 1. Not for long, though. :'(

[rekhareads]

In Memoriam

In which we get a tiny hint of all the things Dumbledore never told Harry.

He had never learned how to repair wounds, and now he came to think of it--particularly in light of his immediate plans--this seemed a serious flaw in his magical education.

For real, though, this is another thing Hogwarts really needs to get on top of. Put it on the list after basic money management 101, though. (See: Weasley Egypt vacation '93. Never forget.)

Kneeling down beside the trunk again, he groped around in the bottom and, after retrieving an old badge that flickered feebly between Support CEDRIC DIGGORY and POTTER STINKS...

HA it always makes me giggle a bit that it was this of all things that he hung onto after his fourth year.

This left a sizable stack of newspapers sitting on his desk beside his snowy owl, Hedwig.

Right from light amusement to crushing sadness. Why Hedwig? WHY? Oh, I know, emotional resonance, metaphor for ending childhood, etc, but still, WHYYY :(

He died as he lived: working always for the greater good and, to his last hour, as willing to stretch out a hand to a small boy with dragon pox as he was on the day that I met him.

He had thought he knew Dumbledore quite well, but ever since reading this obituary he had been forced to recognize that he had barely known him at all.

This is a disconcerting revelation for the readers as well, or at least from my perspective. Until now, we've kind of viewed Dumbledore as this mythical, untouchable Gandalf figure, and now we're learning that he didn't burst from the womb with a rigid moral code and a waist-length beard.

Oh great now we're at the Rage-Inducing Rita Skeeter portion of the evening.

"Oh yes," says Skeeter, nodding briskly, "I devote an entire chapter to the whole Potter-Dumbledore relationship. It's been called unhealthy, even sinister. Again, our readers will have to buy my book for the whole story, but there is no question that Dumbledore took an unnatural interest in Potter from the word go."

Is she--is she's actually implying that Dumbledore sexually abused Harry? I never caught that. Holy shit, that is beyond sick and gross and horrible. I wish she'd been sued for libel and slander or at least being an illegal Animagus after everything was over, but JKR said she kept throwing shade as much as ever. 

"Oh yes, we've developed a close bond," says Skeeter. "Poor Potter has few real friends, and we met at one of the most testing moments of his life--the Triwizard Tournament."

I equal parts want to laugh because like honestly I had forgotten about the Triwizard Tournament, that's how much shit Harry's gone through since then, and vomit because to me Rita Skeeter almost ties with Umbridge. Almost. I wonder what her leanings were in the war? Also, I kind of wish she'd put her skills to use by totally ripping Tom Riddle a new one.

"Lies!" Harry bellowed, and through the window he saw the next-door neighbor, who had paused to restart his lawn mower, look up nervously.

LOL he's doing a real good job of corroborating the St. Brutus's School for Criminally Disturbed Youths story, isn't he.

He had imagined it, there was no other explanation; imagined it, because he had been thinking of his dead headmaster. If anything was certain, it was that the bright blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore would never pierce him again.

I can't even remember what I thought this was when I first read it. I probably just went along with it being Harry's imagination, because seriously the poor kid had enough to deal with already.

Also, :(.

Body count: Still 1. Sorry Charity.

[rekhareads]

The Dark Lord Ascending

In which JKR gives us the creepiest and most uncomfortable opening chapter in the series. In my opinion, anyway.

(So I know I said I'd start on Monday but then I was busy and anyway today is Harry's birthday so it's kind of perfect right? Right. We'll go with that. And happy *rapid math* 33rd birthday Harry!)

WE NOW PRESENT THE SEVENTH AND FINAL INSTALLMENT IN THE EPIC TALE OF HARRY POTTER.

When I read this for the first time, I was immediately like "FINAL INSTALLMENT? oh my god he's going to die. motherfucker is going to die. this is it." And I guess I wasn't totally wrong?

"News?" asked the taller of the two.

"The best," replied Severus Snape.

Speaking of things I was totally wrong about, I actually literally shook my fist at the book and went "sNAAAAAPE" when I saw this for the first time. Probably the only time outside of a book that anyone has ever done so.

As their eyes grew accustomed to the lack of light, they were drawn upward to the strangest feature of the scene: an apparently unconscious human figure hanging upside down over the table, revolving slowly as if suspended by an invisible rope, and reflected in the mirror and in the bare, polished surface of the table below.

"Saturday...at nightfall," repeated Voldemort. His red eyes fastened upon Snape's black ones with such intensity that some of the watchers looked away, apparently fearful that they themselves would be scorched by the ferocity of the gaze.

I feel like I read somewhere, or maybe I'm making it up, that Snape's love for Lily helped shield his true mind from Voldemort, and it's kind of incredible that Voldy never figured it out. Like, even if he'd just had one little taste of love he'd probably have known, but he really did live a life completely devoid of love. It's almost enough to make me feel bad for him. Almost.

"I think that there is little chance of taking him once he is there, my Lord, unless, of course, the Ministry has fallen before next Saturday, which might give us the opportunity to discover and undo enough of the enchantments to break through the rest."

When I first read this I thought Snape was being sarcastic, and then I realized he was being serious and there was actually a tangible possibility of Voldemort winning.

"I have been careless, and so have been thwarted by luck and chance, those wreckers of all but the best-laid plans. But I know better now. I understand those things that I did not understand before. I must be the one to kill Harry Potter, and I shall be."

At these words, seemingly in response to them, a sudden wail sounded, a terrible, drawn-out cry of misery and pain.

1) YOU KNOW NOTHING, TOM RIDDLE.

2) Poor Ollivander :(

The huge snake emerged to climb slowly up Voldemort's chair. It rose, seemingly endlessly, and came to rest across Voldemort's shoulders; its neck the thickness of a man's thigh; its eyes, with their vertical slits for pupils, unblinking. Voldemort stroked the creature absently with long thin fingers, still looking at Lucius Malfoy.

I'm sorry, can we just take a moment and appreciate that he's basically a Bond villain stroking a way more scaly cat right now? Like who the hell does he think he is, Britney fucking Spears? I don't THINK SO VOLDY. Unless he's trying to emulate her look during her post-divorce nervous-breakdown head-shaving period.

She sat beside her sister, as unlike her in looks, with her dark hair and heavily lidded eyes, as she was in bearing and demeanor; where Narcissa sat rigid and impassive, Bellatrix leaned toward Voldemort, for mere words could not demonstrate her longing for closeness.

"I'm talking about your niece, Bellatrix. And yours, Lucius and Narcissa. She has just married the werewolf, Remus Lupin. You must be so proud."

They may not be proud but I SURE AM and I have SO much love for how JKR gives us little moments of happiness so that the book doesn't become unbearably hard to read.

I also like the depiction of the awful awful time the Malfoy family is going through. We get a lot of one-dimensional villains in this series, and Draco is so clearly someone who made all the wrong choices and is now suffering the consequences--he does what anyone would do in his shoes, and in my opinion is the second most pitiable character in this scene.

"For those of you who do not know, we are joined here tonight by Charity Burbage who, until recently, taught at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

There were small noises of comprehension around the table. A broad, hunched woman with pointed teeth cackled.

I was SO CONVINCED that that was Umbridge, but I guess that doesn't make a lot of sense. She more than exceeds the Death Eaters' evil requirement but I think she prefers Ministry-sanctioned crimes against humanity.

"Dinner, Nagini," said Voldemort softly, and the great snake swayed and slithered from his shoulders onto the polished wood.

Body Count So Far: 1. RIP, Charity Burbage.

[rekhareads]

IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS DO WE GET TO LEARN ABOUT REMUS LUPIN'S LIFE IN THE NEAR FUTURE?