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@teex oh he was BORN to be a flyer

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what if you were an ANNOYING AMERICAN BOY who beat a SWEET CANADIAN BOY at THE junior tournament and he HATED you but then you SAT ON THE PLANE TOGETHER and you made him LAUGH and you became BEST FRIENDS and had a SECRET HANDSHAKE and a SHARED ROOFTOP PLAYLIST and DEBUT GOALS MINUTES APART and you both became the SUPERSTAR SAVIORS of your FAILING FRANCHISE but then he got TRADED away and you kept getting INJURED and said the injuries HURT LESS THAN THE TRADE and EVERYBODY called you WASHED UP while he THRIVED but THEN YOU GOT TRADED BACK TO HIM??

happened to my good friend trevor zegras.

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Igor Shesterkin with Pavel Buchnevich at master class in Cherepovets

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Our 👏 Jerseys 👏 Never 👏 Miss 👏

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new jerseys are mint

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i will stop rpfing when they stop wanting to fuck eachother

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i love this website i just feel at home here you know

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zegras/drysdale reunion was not on my offseason bingo card but i am GLAD to have it. happy pride month my hockeys

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I’ve expanded the little goalie setting. There’s a mysterious hockey league with an average height of 20cm, where humans can sign agreements to live with a little goalie.

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Every unhinged fic writer needs an equally unhinged friend who "yes ands" their ideas and encourages them to write all their most far fetched and insane stories.

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hey girl what are you doing. what is that

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having the nhl as a baseline for athlete salaries makes me feel kind of crazy sometimes, because the hockey world will have heated arguments about players taking $8 million instead of $10 million or whatever because their team is in a no tax state. then I’ll hear someone casually mention what a male athlete in a different major league sport is making and it feels like the gdp of a small country

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Okay Joey is losing to Nico Hischier in @hockeyblorbopolls * (which is actually Swiss on Swiss violence) and I do understand the charms of Nico Hischier but YOU YES YOU need to understand the charms of Joey Daccord because underneath his rockin bod he is also a goddamn delight.

*he's losing by a fair margin but I am drunk on power from Burky's poll success so we are gonna try some MORE PROPAGANDA BABY

Vote for Joey HERE ⬇️ https://www.tumblr.com/hockeyblorbopolls/786886557792600064/which-of-these-players-is-more-blorbo-nico

He is best friends with Kraken mascot and notorious critter Buoy who he hugs vigorously whenever he's given a chance to yeet the fish. They visit schools together

[ID: Photo of Joey Daccord and Kraken mascot Buoy, a blue-haired troll, on stools at the front of a classroom. End ID.]

Buoy has taught him how to use the t-shirt cannon

[ID: Joey and Buoy stand on the ice at the Kraken skills showcase. Joey is in shorts and his legs look fantastic. Buoy is demonstrating how to use a tshirt cannon. End ID.]

And they were honored guests and each other's dates for the most recent "Oops All Goalies" game.

He loves to play the puck -- which can make him a dangerous wildcard for other teams and sometimes gets him into trouble. It makes him incredibly fun to watch, and he brings that energy to celebration, when he mimics the handshake line from the net during games and rushes to his boys after. In one memorable instance of "zoomies" he overcommitted...

[ID: gif of Joey rushing a celly. He jumps to fling himself on his teammates and absolutely wipes out, falling out of the pile and onto his back. He is unhurt and it is incredibly funny. End ID.]

He's generally down for anything, whether it's putting on his gear for a pretty adorable Alaska Airlines commercial, modeling a Kraken oven mitt

[ID: Joey has received a Kraken branded oven mitt at practice, which he immediately replaces his goalie glove with. He waves to the camera with the mitt. End ID.]

Or photo shoots with fish

[ID: Joey makes a funny open-mouthed face at a stuffed salmon, which he holds in both hands facing him. End ID.]

And the Kraken has in turn given him a platform for his F1 with Joey Daccord series, which is just him talking at length with the mini mic about Formula 1 (bonus points huge Lewis Hamilton fan). He comes prepared with notes. I'm only not linking because it'll take you to my personal insta but there's a BUNCH and they're super cute.

[ID: Joey in a black Ferrari team jacket talking animatedly about F1. There is a notepad on the table in front of him full of bullet points in black marker. End ID.]

Other things you'll notice if you go to his insta is that he is a MAMA'S BOY he loves that woman and he is a graphic design king, that man is going crazy in Canva. After any major event for him you'll usually find an edit set to music after and I just imagine him late at night smiling away with fond memories as he chooses his fancy lil backgrounds

[ID: Joey in his Team USA gear from IIHF worlds. The photo is sepia tinted and made to look like it is a Polaroid part of a collage. End ID.]

A core Joey memory for me is when he shut out VGK at the Winter Classic and his backup tendy Chris Driedger held him like this

[ID: Driedger tenderly holds Daccord with both arms and talks into his ear while Daccord has his face buried in Driedger's shoulder. My Roman Empire. End ID.]

This is without even getting into his Firebirds days and everything he meant to that team in their historic Calder run. If you want to get a flavor, though, I'd recommend his interview as a special guest on team roasting show "Tenny's Talks."

And oh yeah. He has a rockin bod.

[ID: Joey in summer of 2025 climbing onto the back of a boat with a wakeboard under his arm. He is wearing a wetsuit pulled down around his waist, and his sculpted upper body is fully visible. The wetsuit is tight over his thighs and his quads bulge over his knees. End ID.]

Vote Joey, the Mayor of Coachella Valley!

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🐧🐧