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(MOSTLY) RAW VEGAN DETOX | DAY THREE

day three of my raw vegan detox didn't really happen. as it was father's day and we had church to go to and then family to eat with, I didn't have my smoothie or my salad for lunch. c'est la vie, it was still a good day. after sunday, I considered doing one more full day, but found that I actually wanted to keep eating the meals I'd had on this detox and just sort of continued while mixing in cooked foods if I felt like it.

I've had zoodles or spring rolls for dinner most nights this week, and have had a smoothie almost every morning for breakfast. I already always eat either a salad or fruit for lunch at work as I can only eat certain things while I'm there.

now that my three (more like 1.5) raw vegan days are up, I will share my reflections and experience!

OVERALL | I always have a positive experience when I eat raw. it is so freeing and exciting to eat so many simple, whole, nutritious foods. in addition to giving you a mother load of vitamins, eating raw fruits/veggies for every meal means you're eliminating processed, chemical soaked foods. my body has thanked me for it.

as I try to overcome my disordered eating, I often fight with the urge to act like it doesn't exist. to force myself to eat like someone "normal". but someone told me recently, that it is okay for me to eat the way I want to. it's not okay to remain in disordered eating habits and stay "safe", that is not what they meant. they told me that if every day for the rest of my life I wanted to eat a certain food it is my choice. I can do that. I can eat what I want and it doesn't have to look like other people's plates. that got me thinking. what I deem as "normal" eating... is it really normal?? sure, it's what everyone is doing, but I don't actually think the way the average person eats is even good for them. doing this detox helped shift my perspective. I was much more at peace with my food while I was eating raw, even the cooked/regular foods I ate during the three days didn't stress me out as much, because what I was eating on the raw detox aligns very closely to what I like to eat and how I like to consume food.

I've always been a light eater and have had an interest in health for a long time. (I've had my years phases of eating a bowl of cheetohs for lunch don't get me wrong), but if I had to define the "perfect" day of eating for me, it would go a little something like this:

breakfast: a smoothie or fruit lunch: a large salad or wrap with nuts + seeds dinner: zoodles, veggie soup, pasta and veggies, anything warm + healthy/more comforting as you can tell, that aligns pretty closely to a lot of what I ate on the raw vegan detox. so, I am predisposed to enjoy the lifestyle.

NUTRITION | I tracked my vitamin + macros on the detox and found that I was very high in all of the micronutrients save for iron and b12 (to be expected on anything vegan w/out supplements or special foods like nutritional yeast which I did not include), but I was low on some macros. I did this for a boost in vitamins + minerals, not to build muscles, so I got the nourishment I was looking for.

for example, my vitamin C was at 347%, my fiber at 117%, vitamin A 182%, potassium 131%, but my iron was at 41% and my calcium was only 76%. if I had worked harder to source those hard to get nutrients I think I could've come close to covering pretty much everything. also, I still eat a low volume of food and should've really been having at least .5x more each meal than I was consuming. I believe I would've made pretty much all of my micros except for b12 if I'd just ate more.

my carbs were 55% and my protein was 26% while my fat sat at 100% for all days. I love avocados. and tahini.

COST | this was not expensive. people will always tell you eating healthy is pricey, but that's only true if you buy luxury health foods. fancy unhealthy foods are expensive too. I bought regular ol' veggies, fruits, and some shelf stable items like peanut butter, tahini, coconut aminos, and was actually under my usual grocery budget.

PROS + CONS | there are pros and cons to any "diet" which is why I recommend carving your own pathway and eating in a way that is totally unique to you and your health needs. pros of a raw vegan detox/diet are that you are avoiding virtually all processed foods. this is huge. you are also getting so many more vitamins and minerals. you feel light and never sluggish. you feel more hydrated. you have more energy. cons are that it can be restrictive and keep you from other foods that are possibly good for you but are just cooked. you pretty much cannot eat out unless you go for salad, but we all know the average takeout salad is not nutritious or even remotely good. tastes like dirt. you will be cold. uncooked foods can hurt some people's tummies/be difficult to digest. I don't have that experience, the opposite is true for me. cooked foods seem to upset my stomach more. low in macros. you'll have to work harder to get those in whereas on a cooked food diet it's a lot simpler to get macros and harder to get micros.

to everything there is a shadow. it's important to work with the needs of your body until you find what balances your health. after 10 years as a vegan, I don't know if i'll ever venture to label myself again. I have felt that the freedom to chart my own course when it comes to the health of my body and mind, has brought a lot of peace to me and that deciding to be something forever based on the needs of my body today, doesn't really make sense. I'm not raw vegan. I'm not even vegan, but I thoroughly enjoyed this detox and will continue to enjoy foods I had on it.

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(MOSTLY) RAY VEGAN DETOX | DAY TWO

today I woke up feeling excited. even though I didn't eat all three meals yesterday, I had a pretty positive day with no stomach discomfort until I ate some trail mix before bed.

but today, I had everything I needed to eat three raw meals.

when I woke up I still felt dehydrated, but I had no stomach discomfort, was not overly hungry, and craved coffee as usual. so, I had one cup before I started the day of raw foods.

meal one: cup of coffee, blueberry banana smoothie, water. the smoothie was 1 frozen banana, 1/2 cup frozen blueberries, ~1 cup almond mylk, 1TBS peanut butter, + 1TBS of maple syrup. it was refreshing and delicious.

meal two: studio salad + water. I had arugula and romaine lettuce, 1/4 avocado, about 1/4 cup tahini dressing, 2 radishes, 1 carrot, 1/2 a cucumber, 2 sweet baby peppers, 1/4 of a red onion, + 1/4 cup quinoa. very tasty and fresh.

meal three: zoodles w/ avocado + pesto. 1 zucchini, 2TBS pesto, 1/2 avocado, 1 roma tomato, cayenne pepper. super yummy but hard to finish.

snacks: iced coffee

reflection: day two was awesome. I had almost no discomfort in my stomach after my meals. I wasn't as anxious that I could end up feeling nauseated and I found I wasn't burping as much (ew, I know but my gallbladder isn't functioning as well as it should be and I usually burp a lot because of it/I swallow air when I am anxious). I haven't been working these past two days which helps so so so much because I don't have to worry about how the food will make me feel and I can take my time making it. I felt overall light, energetic, and hydrated. I still feel a little low in spirits because a lot of my comfort foods are gone, though. thank goodness I didn't get rid of coffee or these posts would be verrrrrrryyyy different.

DAY TWO | 4.5/5 stars. great day. if I had been hungrier for dinner it would've been amazing!!

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(MOSTLY) RAW VEGAN DETOX | DAY ONE

this morning I woke up excited but also a little bit grumpy. I get irritable when changing habits or taking away anything that I find comforting. (years ago, when I gave up coke zero, I thought I was going to end it all. I made it through, but it was like my mood dropped off a cliff and into the depths of the ocean where no light reaches anything for two weeks straight).

lucky for grumpy me, today I still had to go shopping for fruits and vegetables so I got to eat my usual breakfast of toast and coffee.

right now I feel dehydrated, a little bloated, I have dry skin, dry eyes, dry mouth, I've been a little irritable, craving sugar, jittery, and have had no/low appetite. hoping all of the vitamins and minerals I'm about to eat will help cure some of this, I went grocery shopping. *these few days are going to be mostly raw. I'm still drinking coffee, and using things like almond mylk, rice paper, quinoa, and a pesto I already have in the fridge that has cheese in it. THE LIST -almond mylk -bananas -zucchini -cucumber -red onion -lemons -arugala -romaine -tahini -radishes -coconut aminos -avocado -rice paper -bell peppers -maple syrup -garlic -frozen blueberries -carrots -peanut butter -quinoa THE MENU -blueberry smoothie (frozen bananas, frozen blueberries, almond mylk, peanut butter, maple syrup) -"studio" salad (I got the recipe from a yoga studio + my sister and I just call it "studio salad". greens, avocado, quinoa [w/ lemon + garlic], radishes, carrots, red onion, tahini dressing [tahini, coconut aminos, lemon juice]) -pesto zoodles (zucchini, roma tomatoes, pesto, avocado, cayenne pepper) -spring rolls (rice paper, sliced cucumber, carrots, radish, avocado, lettuce, tahini sauce [tahini, coconut aminos, garlic, seasoning]) -potatoes (if I want something cooked besides quinoa, I'll make some of the oh she glows potatoes and have them with salad)

THE PREP -make baggies of smoothie portions -chop salads the night before -make batch of dressing -make batch of sauce -make dinner night of -make batch of quinoa

meal one: (pre-shop + prep) slice of toast with peanut butter + and mushroom coffee. annnnnnd an apple fritter at the grocery store. yum.

meal two: pesto zoodles + water. I did 1 zucchini, 1 roma tomato, ~2TBS of pesto, 1/2 an avocado, + a dash of cayenne pepper. I mashed the avocado into the pesto to make a creamy sauce and tossed it all together.

meal three: as I am writing this, I have not had meal three. I'm still fairly full from the zoodles and I went out for ice cream with my husband. we will see if I get hungry enough this evening for a meal three. *UPDATE* I did not end up eating a meal three. I snacked and went to bed.

snacks: yasso mango yogurt bar. more coffee. (always).

reflection: day one went very well. I didn't have a raw breakfast and I don't know if it was because I was anticipating feeling good later in the day or not, but I felt extra dehydrated and low energy after my toast. (it's not the best breakfast obviously, but if you've read my posts you'll know I have disordered eating and I'm nervous to eat large amounts in the morning since I have to be out the door for work asap.) lunch however was DELICIOUS. pesto zoodles are so fresh and filling. it took me a little bit to finish the whole bowl. I felt full but not stuffed which I was very relieved about because I hate the feeling of food in my stomach. I didn't feel as nauseated throughout the day, and I noticed my stomach wasn't burning as much as it usually does because I will under eat.

DAY ONE | 3.5/5 because I did not eat all three meals + because I did experience a little bit of irritability.

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f r e s h

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3 DAYS RAW VEGAN

when I feel myself about to get sick, or I am already sick, I try to do a couple days raw vegan.

I feel sick and tired and dehydrated lately. I recently realized I've not been following my convictions with health and I want to change that. so, to boost my nutrient intake and rehydrate myself, I am going to do a 3 day raw vegan detox with my sister.

if you've never eaten raw vegan, you are missing out. it is magical. even if it's just for a day, eating raw vegetables and fruits (you can even do 2 raw meals and a cooked dinner called "raw 'till 4"), gives you so many nutrients, so much hydration, focus, mental clarity, and detoxes your gut. I thoroughly enjoy it when I only do it for a few days because the commitment isn't overwhelming and difficult.

I usually try to do it over a weekend so I don't have to worry about eating raw at work. my sister and I usually do one of two "formulas"

breakfast - large (like xl) smoothie lunch- large (like xl) salad dinner- a fun raw dish like zoodles & creamy sauce, mushroom & walnut lettuce tacos, or spring rolls with tangy dipping sauce.

OR

breakfast- acai bowl. big. lunch- smoothie. big. dinner- any fun dish.

she usually goes for the second option as she likes sweet foods and I will go for the first because I loooooove salads. I eat them for lunch every day as is, but the recipes you can find for raw vegan salads are seriously superior.

I don't micro-manage. if I have some "cooked" dressings or sauces, I don't care, and if I feel like having cooked food for dinner I will. I still drink a coffee so that I don't spend the whole three days angry and irritable over a caffeine withdraw (one battle at a time, please). I will add cooked quinoa to my favorite salad and it adds the perfect touch.

I will do updates of all 3 days and track how my body reacts to going from being stuffed with sugar, preservatives, and air to being optimally hydrated, having more than my daily need of vitamins, and a calm stomach.

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THE SECRET TO BEING TRULY HEALTHY

sound familiar? everyone seems to have the secret to health. a secret protein powder. a secret hot lemon water. a secret detox tea, carnivore dish, or vegan dinner.

but I don't believe there are any secrets in health. health can be read on our faces, in our eyes, and our hair. health is the simplest, least complicated, most transparent thing.

anyone who tells you otherwise wants to sell you something or keep you sick.

I've done a lot of different "diets" and followed many different health journeys. I went from being raised on SAD (Standard American Diet), to a very simple introduction to healthy eating when I was 13. I learned about health from Yoga Journal magazine, and Kashi's old health website. I started adding fruits and whole grains, lessening the amount of meat I ate, drinking water, switching from coffee to tea, and skipping fast food. shortly after, I became pescatarian. then vegetarian. then vegan. then raw 'till four vegan. then fully raw vegan. in between all of these I tried intermittent fasting, paleo, the Dukan diet, the Special K diet, the cereal diet, the Mediterranean diet. I even tried celebrity diets like Ariana Grande and Audrey Hepburn. notice how something went quickly wrong. the more I learned about health, the more I was convinced there was a secret I was missing out on. so I pursued it endlessly, and not so surprisingly, I went through a period of severe disordered eating where my caloric limit for a day was 200 calories.

every single body on this earth is unique. we all come from different backgrounds and have different levels of health. some of us have healthy gut microbiomes, some of us have destroyed our gut health. some people have imbalances in their blood sugars and others are overweight. our needs aren't always the same. and that is often what gives power to these special, secret diets. they offer a magic solution to a certain group of people.

I believe the solution to the problem of health is much more universal than one might think. though we have different bodies and different backgrounds, our bodies are all working towards healing and health. that, we have in common. the human body is adaptable, and determined to thrive no matter its conditions.

the problem isn't the brand of protein powder you use. it isn't that you had 10g of carbs too many. it's not that you ate before your workout or had a snack during your fasting hour.

the problem of health is that people are being tricked into eating fake, processed, genetically altered, poison foods. the problem with health is that people sit at a desk, then sit at a table, then a couch, then lay in a bed.

eat real food. move your body. drink water. get some sun. this is the 'secret'. notice these concepts aren't owned by any companies. they cannot be sold on any shelf. how you go about these things are entirely up to you and how imbalanced your body is at the beginning of your journey.

you don't need anything fancy. just the discernment to see what is food and what is poison and the discipline to move your body.

that's my opinion. I'm not a healthcare professional or a holistic specialist. I'm just a girl who is sick of all of the twisted health propaganda.

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HEALTH UPDATE

It has been five months since my last post here.

a lot has happened in my life, so I thought I would make a health update post.

I finished school and graduated, got a new job, got married, and moved. I was busier than I have ever been in my whole life these past six months. while I am proud of myself for graduating and getting a new job, I definitely put those before my health. which, if you remember my health story post, I was determined not to do.

I have a very bad habit of putting others, their wants or needs, and things I think I "should" do before what I really want, need, or feel. It has been a very destructive habit in my life and now that the busiest time has past and I've had a chance to reflect, I honestly don't think graduating school was worth sacrificing my health the way I did. If I didn't care so much about what others think of me, I would've dropped out half way because that is when my eating disorder was getting so bad I basically couldn't eat at all and I was missing classes because I was always at the doctor's or the hospital.

reflection is sometimes the only way we will let ourselves learn. and it's a shame, because learning from reflection requires us to go through the pain and consequences first. though I knew my health was more important to me than school, I didn't have the conviction to follow through. but, what I love about God, and how He has created us to live is that every day is a new day. it is never too late to let go of hurts, to start to chase dreams, or to have a completely new mindset. with God, all things are created new.

a couple of days ago I started to feel really sick. I was so tired after work I just laid in bed until I fell asleep. I felt dehydrated but I didn't want water. I started to feel repulsed by processed foods (this always happens to me before I get sick. it's one of the ways I know I'm about to come down with something. I won't want anything from a box.) I started craving fruits and vegetables only. as I lay in bed at 4:00pm, and reflected on how I felt I realized I have been treating my body abominably for the past 6 months. I realized, I started to get back into my old habits.

coffee for breakfast/only drinking coffee throughout the day instead of water

not wanting any water in my stomach and struggling to make myself drink it

eating nothing until I eat something really indulgent/fast food

forcing myself to act like I don't have an eating disorder and eating stuff that makes it worse/going out to eat when I don't want to and ignoring how stressful it is for me

I started to struggle to eat more and more, getting close to the place I found myself in last summer where I couldn't eat at all.

skipping meals comes so easily to me. unless I have conviction to heal, I will keep slipping into these habits because they are what has become most comfortable for me even though they're deadly habits.

however, my stress levels have gone down so much now that school and wedding planning is over, that I have noticed my disordered eating doesn't flare up as much at home as it used to. and that has been a blessing.

in these past six months, I forgot that I care about my health. I walk around thinking "I love taking care of my body, eating healthy, and learning about health" but my actions say "I don't take care of my body, I don't want to eat healthy, and I have learned nothing."

last week as I laid there, feverish and exhausted, I said to myself,

"If not me, who? If not now, when?"

you have to live the life you want to live. no one will do it for you. in fact, no one will even help you to do that. they will most likely try to stop you. that is why you must be strong and have conviction in your beliefs and your standards. you only have one life. do not waste it living in a way you do not want to because you got distracted or it was too complicated or scary. all the best things are complicated and scary.

so, I am back with fire in my belly. I won't live a sick and sorry life. I will live a strong and healthy life and I won't back down.

welcome back to health, and peace, and strength, and clarity.

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CURRENT FAVORITE YOGA ROUTINES

morning mobility yoga | link

power and balance | link

healing yoga break | link

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MY HEALTH STORY

I haven't been uploading health entries seeing as I've been assigned a meal plan and have been eating largely the same thing daily. I'm about three weeks into my meal plan, and my progress has inspired me to share my health story.

first, I'll touch on why I consulted a dietician. I have disordered eating and was struggling to eat anything at all. anything I ate that wasn't something very light like lettuce or fruit made me feel sick to my stomach, full, and like I wanted to spit it out. It got to the point where if I was at work or class, I simply couldn't eat at all. I couldn't even sip water without feeling like I wanted to rip open my stomach and empty its contents out. I still get anxious to the point of panic if I have to eat out. I couldn't eat outside of my house at all until very recently. I have a list of foods I cannot eat at all, and foods that I can only eat at home. as absurd as it sounds, that is the result of years of anorexic restriction in my teens and after I "recovered", a nine year span of restrictive raw vegan and vegan dietary practices. {I say "recovered" because I phased out of my restriction on my own and never saw a doctor or holistic specialist for it. I considered myself healed because I no longer tried to control my food to be skinny. but, I still carry many of the habits and damage on my shoulders} once I started college, it was impossible to ignore that I had a real problem. going to classes and internships forced me out of the comfort zone of thinking it was normal to eat barely anything. I was used to eating no breakfast except for a sugary latte and going to work an 8 hour shift with only the fuel of a small pack of chips. I became very faint and had frequent asthma attacks and heart palpitations bad enough to check myself into the ER. I was forced to look at my health in a new perspective. used to prioritizing my job above all else, it was strange for me to realize that I had let something very important to me slip between my fingers. health has always been a passion of mine. to see that I had given my health up in my 20s because I was too afraid to face my disorder, and because I didn't believe I could live a balanced life, was a rude awakening.

I reflected and realized that the low weight, but high body fat, low muscle mass to the point I can't lift anything above my head, fatigue, extremely dry sallow skin, hair loss, a broken tooth {shattered on a protein bar because I had no nutrition}, nails that would flake away and were transparent, gallbladder sludge + being sent to get a scope into my stomach, and bruises all over my body from where I would just lay or sit after work because I didn't have the energy to even stand, meant that I had a problem.

I reestablished priorities in my life. I placed God first, my family second, my health third and everything else below. my health is more important to me than my job. my health is more important to me than school. my health is more important to me than other's expectations of me.

so, I saw a dietician and she listened to me and helped me develop a place to begin.

the meal plan

meal one | 1/4 cup nuts + 1/4 cup dried fruits OR protein shake meal two | yogurt + granola meal three | salad with 4-6 crackers + MCT oil in the dressing + an apple + v8 or some juice meal four | veggies + hummus or dip + a cheese stick + kombucha meal five | protein source and a carb source {sweet potato + beans/tofu, pasta + beans or tuna etc.} meal six | protein shake {if not had for breakfast} OR crackers + avocado OR popcorn the goal with this plan was to get me to eat throughout the day and to get two to three servings of fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, and grains. I told her my goals to gain muscle, so she has my protein goal at 120g. my fat intake has to stay below 50g because of my gallbladder.

the difference I have felt after eating nutrient dense foods throughout the entire day has been absolutely life changing. my energy, my positivity, and my happiness has all increased. I finally have the energy to workout daily and have begun rotating through pilates, light weight training, and yoga.

so far, I still struggle to eat sometimes, especially if I am at class or work. I cannot eat out at all whether in a restaurant or in the car. I can barely eat at my internship. but, overall I feel much better. stronger, more hydrated, happier, and healthier.

my current goals are to increase my protein intake and my calories because I'm still losing weight and my goal is to gain.

I cannot wait to restore my health bring balance back to my spirit.

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fries are my weakness

oh she glows has a recipe for oil free crispy oven baked fries that my sister and I used to eat every day when we were raw 'till four.

you put the sliced potatoes into a baggy with a little bit of apple cider vinegar, arrow root powder (I use cornstarch sometimes too), and spices. you shake it up and spread them on a baking sheet with parchment paper and bake them as normal. the "batter" crisps on the outside of the fries. it is so good.

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R E C O V E R I N G A F T E R W O R K O U T S

I've been researching ways to help me recover after my workouts. I feel so sore after my routines + end up skipping days and days until it goes away. then, when i workout next it happens all over again.

eat enough protein | to feed your muscles and replace what was torn during your workout. 1g per pound of your bodyweight is recommended. this is hard for me.

eat enough carbohydrates | to give you enough energy to workout, but also to replace the glycogen you lost by working out

eat a balanced nutrient dense diet | this ensures you don't have any deficiencies that will make it difficult for your muscles to repair + that you feel energized enough to want to work out! I never had the energy to move my body before I started taking what I eat seriously

stay hydrated | before, during, and after your workout. I need to work on my water intake. it's shameful.

get good sleep | sleep is very important for our overall health and recovery of all of our body systems, including the muscles. I credit my generally good sleep quality for a huge portion on my positive, energetic attitude

stretching | helps to prevent DOMS + take good care of the muscle groups you just worked. I do regular yoga but I need to make sure when I do strength training or pilates, I stretch the specific muscles I just used

magnesium | helps reduce muscle soreness + give you deeper sleep. I feel more rested if I take a magnesium supplement before bed, especially if I'm having muscle pains

antioxidants | this seems to be up for debate according to all the main health websites out there (how credible are they really??). but many people consider antioxidant rich foods like cherry juice, blueberries, acai etc. to be beneficial in muscle recovery.

rotate your workouts | try to train in muscle groups (arms, legs, abs) to give each group time to fully recover. I do not do this. I need to start doing this.

hopefully this will help me recovery so I can keep moving!