revansfemme

[revansfemme]

doomhamster said: 

That’s disgusting, and really proves how damned petty these people are. Waiting around for a moment when you’re vulnerable, many months after the original conflict, shows it’s all just bullying and individual hatred no matter what they may try to claim.

defira85 said: 

God I’m so sorry. What scum. I hope you and your family can find some peace in this time, and you can find some freedom from those assholes

joshuaorrizonte said: 

I’m so sorry you’re getting that kind of bullshit. I hope they get a life or grow a conscience soon and leave you alone.

-

Hey,

I’d like to take a moment to thank everyone for their kindness, both here and elsewhere. You’ve all been very good and gentle, and I appreciate that so much. It’s what I’d like to focus on, going forward.

[revansfemme]

I want to talk about hatemail in the KotOR community today.

When I left the KotOR Discord server and first posted about the people in this community making use of transphobia, biphobia, and TERF rhetoric, I was sent two types of messages. The first was an outpouring of love, support, and sharing: many of the people who wrote to me had had extremely negative experiences with the users I had spoken about. “[One user] has been a burr in SWTOR fandom for a long time and is pretty widely blocked here on Tumblr,” a friend wrote to me, adding “I don't mean to add to your pain, but it helps me to see that their BS is general, and it wasn't me, but them.” This friend and others talked about other users on this list working hard to bully and blacklist them because of their support for the asexual, bisexual, and trans communities and their outspoken and frequent anti-TERF posts. 

The second was anon hatemail. 

I didn’t post the anon hatemail or their IPs then, and I’m not going to post them in full now. People post hatemail for attention: it’s not an intention to start a true discourse: these cowards don’t have the courage of their convictions to put their names to their words. it’s just meant to be inflammatory and upsetting, to waste time. The only winning move is not to play. 

 I’ve got hatemail again, ten months later, on my new blog eschennull. It wasn’t a lot: just a few messages, standard hatemail stuff. I’m “still sucking that fake tr*nny’s dick” (my apostrophe, not theirs). Someone is “still watching” me. A few others specifically mentioned my first, untagged post about Knights of the Old Republic in almost a year on my new blog.

Here’s the kicker: that post had been about the love and encouragement of a good friend who is also a trans lesbian, and had also discussed feeling safe and okay with going back to this game on a new platform. See, I had put my now-standard user blocks in place, but what I had forgotten to do was turn off anonymous questions ... and then I had said that I had felt safe for the first time in almost a year. And, like clockwork, almost a year later, people crept out of the woodwork. 

Now, first of all, anonymous asks aren’t really anonymous. There are a few easy ways to track those IPs, one of which is detailed here. 

Second of all, a grandfather in my family died this past Monday and my family had left for his funeral, which I had also talked about on my personal blog: I couldn’t go because of condition that causes me physical pain. These users knew that I would be alone, knew that my BFF followed my blog and would see any anonymous, transphobic hatemail I answered that spoke about her too, and knew too that -- most damning of all, apparently -- I had felt safe with this game for the first time in almost a year. 

You are welcome to draw your own conclusions. 

I’m in the process of refreshing my blocks because tumblr is a broken blue hellsite. But I’m also in the process of coming back to a game that I really enjoyed once upon a time at a crucial part of an episode of my mental illness and that still means quite a lot to me. I had wanted to write about my characters. I had been excited to share some of the restored content that I’ve been exploring with my friends in the Firelink Shrine and other places. 

I’m still going to do all of this. Because fuck ‘em.  

The answer to hate and aggression is love and community, and I stand in solidarity with those who have stood with me. You’ll find my posts geeking out about Star Wars on eschennull, some of which are transfers from revansfemme and some of which will be about my new playthroughs. You won’t find anon hate posted there, though. I have too little free time and too many people to love and share with to be dragged down by anyone else.

[revansfemme]

Hey folks, Since I’ve been setting up eschennull.tumblr.com as my new place to post gaming content, I’ll be transferring some posts from here to there -- mostly archived stuff on old characters, but some writing and humor that I’d like to continue to share with this community. Those posts will disappear from here and be tagged with “formerly at revansfemme” on eschennull. Eventually, I will delete revansfemme.

Thank you for your patience. As always, you are welcome to come join me at ebonsfemme and its gaming sidetumblr eschennull <3 Just make sure you like the Ebonheart Pact from the Elder Scrolls Online -- all my characters are there, and that’s all I’m gonna post about re: Elder Scrolls for quite some time.

[revansfemme]

It’s a day for zombie posts, huh?

I reblogged our advertisement for the Insomnia Café, but we have a sister server, the Firelink Shrine, for our members to hang out and discuss video games with each other. We’ve got a few servers, streams, guilds, and teams going there in a range of games, including The Old Republic, Minecraft, Conan Exiles, The Elder Scrolls Online, World of Warcraft, and Secret World Legends. And this Halloween season we’re gonna get spooky by doing a group estate save for Darkest Dungeon, which will definitely be hilariously doomed and may even include a mod for googly eyes. 

As with the Café, if this sounds great to you, and you’d like to come join us, feel free to message me for an invitation at either my main tumblr @ebonsfemme or my side tumblr @moonskraken. You can also send me a message on Discord itself at AMH#4497 or to my e-mail address at revenantprojects@gmail.com.

[revansfemme]

On a happier note: 

Here’s the advertisement our community put together for our Discord server. Come check us out <3

Hello everyone! Happy October!

My name is Kathryn Irene, though I also go by Kair, and I mod a writing and worldbuilding Discord server called the Insomnia Café. We began this server this past January to have a place to discuss and share our writing, be it fanfiction, original fiction, or nonfiction, and also to discuss and share the worldbuilding that goes into writing stories. Over the months we’ve built it into a tight-knit but small community of storytellers. It’s a place where we also do movie nights, prompts, events, and Dungeons & Dragons games, and we have general channels for discussing cats, Star Trek, and music, and also for sharing our art and illustration. Together, we’ve been working on a few community initiatives, including a push to create our first anthology for the end of October, and I figured that this would be a good time to open up a bit to see if anyone else would like to join us!

The Insomnia Café is an 18-to-30-years-old server, meaning that we ask that you be older than eighteen to join, and we cap incoming members at thirty years of age. Many of us are queer, nonbinary and/or trans, neuroatypical, disabled, and mentally ill, and our community aims to be fiercely inclusive, supportive, and protective of each other. We’re very casual: writing of all kinds is welcome, including dream journals, essays on your favorite television show, video game fiction for your original characters, and more! And you’re more than welcome to just come to hang out for the cats if you’ve hit a run of bad luck or writer’s block.

Some of our members wrote about us to give you an idea of what we’re like!

Dinah :: “This is a safe and beautiful space, and more notably is the only known area where you will find pictures of Annika, my new kitten." 

Molly :: "I found the nicest, most sincere and caring little community here - and I wouldn’t give them up for nothing.”

Jack :: “I’ve learned so much more about snails here than I had ever thought possible.”

C.D. :: “If you want to get inspired, inspire others, and just generally have a good time with a group of friends who won’t judge you, this is a great place to be.“

If this sounds great to you, and you’d like to come join us, feel free to message me for an invitation at either my main tumblr @ebonsfemme or my side tumblr @moonskraken. You can also send me a message on Discord itself at AMH#4497 or to my e-mail address at revenantprojects@gmail.com.

[revansfemme]

Hey folks,

I wanted to reblog this here, because it’s a very important post, and because a great deal of this TERF ideology is rampant in the KotOR and SWTOR communities. I’d like to highlight some points in particular from vaspider’s original post that I dealt with personally with multiple tumblr users in these two Star Wars communities:

Lesbian Not Queer: A popular TERF rallying cry. Goes with “Get The L Out,” a TERF campaign for lesbian separatism, and “Drop the T,” or other variants trying to remove trans people from the LGBTQ community. Almost certainly a TERF if used.

Queer Is A Slur: TERF-sponsored rhetoric. This particular phrase and the concordant rhetoric are very popular on Tumblr. TERFs use this, butch/femme discourse and “ace discourse” to recruit isolated young lesbians, leveraging the idea that lesbians are The Most Wronged as recruitment tactics. May not be a TERF, especially if younger. Handle with care and attempt education, if you have the spoons. If it’s a TERF, disengage.

“Butch/femme discourse”: The idea that butch and femme are “lesbian only terms” being stolen by bisexuals and gay men and trans folx is not a TERF only idea, but it is used as a recruitment tactic, as proof that lesbians need to be protected. Handle with care and attempt education.

“Ace discourse”: Same thing, except with the concept that asexual and aromantic people are “cishet invaders” who are actively attacking the community and “stealing resources” from lesbians. Actively used as a recruitment tactic by TERFs on Twitter and Tumblr. Handle with care and attempt education. NOTE: many “ace exclusionists” are just as poisonous and nasty as TERFs, and they HATE when you tell them they’re agreeing with TERFs. Be careful for your own sanity. Seriously.

TERF tactics and rhetoric, biphobia, transphobia, and transmisogyny are painful, and their prevalence in the KotOR and SWTOR communities is a reason I left those behind. 

Be safe. Be aware. 

Folx, if you want to not accidentally reblog TERF posts (which people have asked me about before), here’s a quick list of how not to do that:

Go to your ‘blocked tags’ and add: terf safe, terfs please interact, gender critical, radfem, rad fem, tims, tifs – these are all common TERF tags, and if the OP has tagged the post that way, it’ll show up as ‘contains the tags’ and block you from seeing it unless you click through. Yes, even on mobile.

Slow down for a sec and look at usernames. I know, we don’t do that when we’re scrolling, and I am guilty of that too. If the username contains overt references to labia, vaginas, pussy, etc., if it contains matriarchy, if it contains ‘critical’ or ‘rad’, maybe click through real quick to see if you’re about to reblog something that’s coming from a TERF. 

Look for the dogwhistles. This part has gotten long, so it’s going behind a readmore. 

Keep reading

[revansfemme]

Hey everyone, Zombie post time. I’m rising from the dead to talk a bit about the past, present, and future.

First of all, I want to thank everyone for the absolutely stunning outpouring of love, affection, and support over these past few months. To those who sent me kind words: I am thankful for you. To those who have found validation in my own words, especially in dealing with toxic communities and their members, I see you, and I support you, and I’m grateful that I could help. 

To those who sent me hate mail: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But, more importantly, to those who sent me apologies: I accept. And I hope that we can both find safety and support in our future paths to doing better and being better, even if we can’t walk these paths together. Know that I wish you well.

I’ve moved on over these months, pulling out of the terrible depressive and obsessive episodes I had been cycling through from June to January or so. I now run a series of servers focused on writing, worldbuilding, gaming, and religious communities, as well as both a Dungeons & Dragons campaign and a Vampire: the Masquerade chronicle. I’m teaching my own pagan religion to a group of absolutely amazing people. I’ve resumed work on my radio show since the winter holiday rush has ended, started writing my novel, and have started planning a webcomic with two amazing friends.

A friend thanked me recently for helping to build a safe and supportive place for her as a trans and nonbinary woman in the wake of what happened in January. It still hurts to think about all that shit, but ... I’m glad that something better came from it. We keep on keeping on. There’s little else to do. But it’s always easier to keep on with friends.

I’m questioning my gender myself: I’ve come to use femmefluid more openly, and to finally give a name to that place between feminine and agender where I’ve been spinning in circles for a long, long time. It feels both fabulously new and very, very old. 

My mother is still battling cancer, but we’re going to be able to see her soon. I’ve started to come to terms with that. Terminal illness is hell, and it’s hard to be strong while all else seems to be falling apart. But while there’s breath, there’s hope.

And finally ... my partner and I have begun talking about a baby. 

Hey, anything can happen. We may even paint the nursery the bi pride colors.

I’ll be at https://ebonsfemme.tumblr.com/, which is about two or so days old, in the meantime. It’s going to be a very different type of tumblr, focused on my original writing, my solo and collaborative projects, game master strategies, homebrewing for 5e, and -- as always -- a bit of witchcraft. 

I made some good friends here. I was sorry to leave, and I’d love to reconnect. Feel free to hit me up there. 

I’ve taken down all my personal pages, deleted some side blogs, set others to private. This will be the last time I log in.

Love,

-- Irene

[revansfemme]

Hey guys,

This is my last post. I’ve decided to leave tumblr indefinitely, but I wanted to let you, my followers, know some of the details of the fallout so that you can stay aware and stay safe. I’m posting this with the awareness and support of others who were harmed in the entire debacle, although they wish to remain unmentioned here to avoid being further targeted. Since I’m leaving, I have no such concerns. So here we go.

This isn’t a formal call-out post. I can’t ask my friends to review their pain so close to the event, and I haven’t kept anywhere near a detailed log of events to put together a formal catalog. This is a heads-up about mine and other’s painful experiences with the people in question, so that you, my followers, and others in the KotOR and SWTOR communities can engage with them in full awareness. What you choose to do with this knowledge is up to you. 

On a personal note, I once left a partner who hurt me very badly. I knew that this partner had taken another girlfriend, and I did not warn her of this partner’s past behavior. They hurt her too. It’s not a situation I want to ever repeat, as difficult as it is to revisit this subject. And this is a summary: there’s more, and you’ll likely hear the accounts of these other people during your time in the KotOR and SWTOR communities. But this is mine.

Over the past month in the KotOR tumblr Discord server, these following people engaged in the derailing and targeting of a transgender woman with rhetoric and arguments taken from trans-exclusionary radical feminism. They further targeted a bisexual woman for defending this transgender woman and for identifying this rhetoric for the harmful ideology that it was, and then denied this bisexual woman the right to discuss her experiences with gender and sexuality, and ensured she didn't feel safe doing so, by retroactively casting her discussion of her suffering in queer communities as an agenda of lesbophobia. When others spoke up in both the transgender woman and the bisexual woman’s defense, they were also targeted, to the point where others have expressed privately that they felt seriously unsafe in that environment, and that their only recourse was to leave.

The conversation evolved to the point where a cisgender lesbian told the transgender lesbian woman who was targeted, quoting, "Do you know what it's like to be shoved to the sidelines of the lgbt community!?!? Do you!!?" And, really, that needs no further elaboration from me here.

It should be mentioned that many of these people write bisexual and transgender characters, which I and others took as an expression of solidarity with our communities. It should also be mentioned that these people are in their 20s and their 30s, and that the transgender woman who was initially derailed and policed is 19 years old. 

These people are:

Shannon, at https://bastilashans.tumblr.com/.

Charlie, at http://femmehawke.tumblr.com/.

Appo, at https://itsmeappo.tumblr.com/  and at https://badsithnocookie.tumblr.com/.

Bluntilda, at http://bluntilda.tumblr.com/.

Leilukin, at http://malavaisquinn.tumblr.com/.

Dani, at https://ghostlygal.tumblr.com/.

I’ll close with a quote from another former moderator: “In case this isn't clear, the correct response to your arguments are disturbingly similar to terf rhetoric and are making a trans woman feel unsafe - the ONLY correct response - is how? I'm sorry and I'll try to do better.”

I’m going to ask that no one re-blog this or comment on it; again, this isn’t a formal call-out post, just a message to my followers and to the greater KotOR and SWTOR communities for their knowledge and their safety.

Stay safe, everyone.

Love and solidarity to all of my siblings who are struggling to be heard,

-- Irene

[revansfemme]

Hey everyone,

I joined a server centered around the Star Wars franchise in late 2018, and I was a moderator there for a significant amount of time. Tonight I left it. And I’d like to explain why, and where that leaves this blog, going forward.

First of all, I must ask that you do not reblog this post, and I’m really going to ask that you refrain from commenting on it as well. Honestly, I need to heal from this experience. It’s been actively harmful for me for weeks because it’s been such an incredibly toxic environment.

I do want to thank the people who reached out to me, however, during all of this. Who expressed that they wish that they had done more for me, stood up, said something. I don’t blame any of you. I completely understand not wanting to make yourself a target. I love you, and I wish you nothing but the best.

This blog, as well as REVANSFEMME and BINALAARA, are going on hiatus. I don’t know for how long. I’d like to feel okay enough to come back one day, but that remains to be seen. Until then, I’ll keep on keeping on.

Cheers, �� Irene.

Here’s my letter to the community: 

Keep reading

[revansfemme]

Hey guys,

As I work on moving content from one blog to another (I’m super excited about the merge!) I’d like to take a pause here, and say that I’ve set up an 18+ writing and worldbuilding Discord server for writers of original fiction, nonfiction, fanfiction and shared-world fiction, and essays, as well as role-players and gamers, and, really, anyone else who is interested. As an added bonus, the roles are mollusk-and-cephalopod themed. Whoaaa.

So if you are 18+ and you would like an invitation, feel free to send me a message!

Cheers,

- Irene

[revansfemme]

UPDATE: The new tumblr is IRENESFEMME, located at https://irenesfemme.tumblr.com/. It’s under heavy construction and will be for some time while I transfer content from both REVANSFEMME and BINALAARA to it, but you’re welcome to come join me.

Hey y’all,

So a few things have happened recently, and I want to address what they are and what they mean for this tumblr, going forward. 

I recently bought all three Dragon Age games, and I’ve been really enjoying them. And, especially with Anthem coming out next month, rather than make a new Dragon Age tumblr and possibly an Anthem tumblr to complement my Mass Effect and my KotOR tumblrs, I’m going to consolidate this content into a BioWare IP Tumblr. 

I also want to do this because I don’t play these games concurrently, and I feel like one goes dark while I focus on the other, and I’d rather just maintain one active tumblr.

But there’s also been a number of negative interactions I’ve had with people both here on tumblr and elsewhere, particularly on our Discord server, dealing with pedophilia apologism, trans-exclusionary radical feminist rhetoric and ideology, biphobia, and misogyny, and bullying related to these subjects. And although I do wish to keep receipts, I also don’t really want that content in my blog’s backlog or among my followers list. It’s been enough to make this space feel awful for me, and I want my tumblrs to be a positive experience for myself and others.

tl;dr: both REVANSFEMME and BINALAARA are moving! Details to come. Also, fuck TERFs.

[revansfemme]

Hey y’all,

So a few things have happened recently, and I want to address what they are and what they mean for this tumblr, going forward. 

I recently bought all three Dragon Age games, and I’ve been really enjoying them. And, especially with Anthem coming out next month, rather than make a new Dragon Age tumblr and possibly an Anthem tumblr to complement my Mass Effect and my KotOR tumblrs, I’m going to consolidate this content into a BioWare IP Tumblr. 

I also want to do this because I don’t play these games concurrently, and I feel like one goes dark while I focus on the other, and I’d rather just maintain one active tumblr.

But there’s also been a number of negative interactions I’ve had with people both here on tumblr and elsewhere, particularly on our Discord server, dealing with pedophilia apologism, trans-exclusionary radical feminist rhetoric and ideology, biphobia, and misogyny, and bullying related to these subjects. And although I do wish to keep receipts, I also don’t really want that content in my blog’s backlog or among my followers list. It’s been enough to make this space feel awful for me, and I want my tumblrs to be a positive experience for myself and others.

tl;dr: both REVANSFEMME and BINALAARA are moving! Details to come. Also, fuck TERFs.

[revansfemme]

Me, making coffee and blocking people for derailing a discussion about biphobia, including a very important point made by a transgender woman, with TERF rhetoric: “Today is a good day.”