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reynes · 4 years ago

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I can't stop reading this. I can't. It's so beautiful. So beautiful I wanna cry😭😭

Moments in between

🔸🆕 Part 2 | Part 1 🔸

Hello fellas! It’s been quite a while~ and I’m sorry for the delay 😅🥺! So Open Heart 3 is officially coming up in February and that means I need to finish... whatever this is 🥴. Here you go~ more angst coming up ‘cause why not?! 🤡

A shout out to dear @terrm9 ; @genevievemd and @queen-arabella-of-cordonia for supporting me when I literally thought that I’ll ditch this series 🤧💜💜!

So I... procrastinated a lot about it... And I’m still unhappy after 7/8 rewrites 😅💀💔... Hopefully it’s not too bad... 😔

Sorry in advance if there are any mistakes, I'm a rookie in writing and English isn't my 1st language.

🔸Masterlist | Series masterlist🔸

◾Book : Open Heart Second Year

◾Pairing : Ethan Ramsey x Casey Valentine

◾Précis : With Edenbrook closing down and their future uncertain, tensions are higher than ever between them.

◾Word count & Rating : ~2.9 K || Teen

◾Warnings : A metric ton of angst. Beware.

◾Disclaimer : Characters owned by pixelberry studios. Though I’d that Casey is mine and mine only™ 😌

The song inspiration is a bollywood song actually hehe 😅👉🏼👈🏼, couldn’t help it, sorry 🥺 I know it might be awkward for a lot of you😐, umm... just sorry! But I’ve put both the Hindi lyrics and the English translation so that y’all can understand what it means and why I used this song... Where are you my desi fam? Back me up here 🥺!

Here’s hoping that it’s not messy (yes I did not proofread xD). Enjoy 💜 the pain!

Strolling across the streets of Boston during 23:17 pm probably isn’t the best idea, specially when it hasn’t stopped snowing since the evening. But does she care about the consequences it might have? No, absolutely not. It doesn’t really matter to her, not when she’s already on the verge of shattering.

The snow flakes swirl in a beautiful dance of their own, led by the chilly winds of early December. With each step, her heart thunders faster, as if warning her that she’s making a mistake. That she should’ve stayed in the safe confines of her room, that she should’ve cried herself to sleep rather than aimlessly walking down the streets, hoping that it’ll ease the pain she’s been feeling. With her head throbbing with a furious headache after 2 hours of sobbing, and her heart aching from the hot and cold game Ethan has been playing with her, it’s almost impossible to point out which one is more painful. She grits her teeth, trying her best to not fall apart on the streets.

Pain... she has known it very well, in different stages of her life, pain’s been her sole companion. Even now behind her every smile, there’s pain which isn’t visible to the others in this world. Well, except one... Ethan Jonah Ramsey. Those hypnotic baby blues saw right through her cover every damn time. She always feels bare opposed to his ocean eyes, her walls crumbling down despite herself, losing the battle against his focused gaze. She detests the power he has over her, just like a puppet master of her heart.

Na Chain Se Jeene Degi Na Chain Se Marne Degi :

They (the world) won’t let us live in peace, or die in peace.

Na Chain Se Jeene Degi Na Chain Se Marne Degi :

They will neither allow us to live happily nor to die happily.

A humorless chuckle escapes her, her face morphing in agony the very next moment as she shudders from the merciless cold. Why is she hurting herself over a lost cause? He’s made it pretty clear, right?

It’s been more than a month now, the times when she has asked if she can spend the night with him in his apartment, he has declined somehow with different excuses. The very rare heart-to-hearts soon turned out to be their only chance to spend time together within the very busy Edenbrook. So whenever she has asked him what are his plans for the future, which hospital is he going to choose, or at least which hospitals have invited him join, he gave her only one answer all the 6 times, “I haven’t really thought about that matter... Yet.”

She knows that he’s lying, Ethan Ramsey, who’s so used to stay several steps ahead, will never do that. But she never pressures him, it won’t make him slip a word about it, and if worse, it could piss him off, taking things more downhill than it already is. Deep inside she prays that, they’ll make it through unscathed somehow, their budding relationship too fragile to survive another mess up.

Her eyes drift side to side, trying to make out the surroundings as she halts by a street light. The realisation of how far she has come back from her place hits her suddenly, leaving her slightly clueless. For how long has she been walking aimlessly? Another 10 minutes of walking and she’ll reach the bay... And the word ‘bay’ without any doubt equals to a very certain person’s home. The person... she’s been crying over. The person with whom she fell madly in love, but could never say it out aloud. The person who made her, and broke her, both with such an ease that it triggered fear in her. Fear that she’ll turn into particles of dust infront of that power.

Bewildered with her own inner conflict, she just stands there, the claws of insecureness gashing her heart deeply. She looks up at the sky, tears stinging in the back of her eyes as she murmurs a silent prayer to the stars, hid by the clouds. She needs more strength, more hope, more determination, more of him. She hesitantly takes a step towards the inevitable, her jades examining how the snow collapses from the pressure of her foot. She catches her lower lip with her teeth, her hands turning into fists. Another step, slightly wobbly, then another, more confident from the previous. Her breathing elevates, the rest of the world vanishing around her. It’s a do or die, she’ll visit him tonight and right now.

Han Chalo Le Chalein Tumhein Taaron Ke Shehar Mein :

Let me take you to the city of the stars

Dharti Pe Yeh Duniya Hamein Pyar Na Karne Degi :

Because on Earth, this world isn’t going to let us love each other.

Ethan sighs, taking off his reading glasses as he leans back on the couch. Those who don’t really know him (which is... basically everyone) will say that he’s fine, and focused in his work. But... the truth is far, far away from what it seems to be. The 32 unread emails in his inbox stare back it him, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. He should really stop thinking about her every damn second of the day, he really should stop wondering how she’s holding up, and he has to stop craving her presence and touch like a starved man somehow. He should because it’s affecting him, his actions badly.

Jo Tum Na Meri Bahon Mein, Main To So Nahi Sakta :

If you are not in my arms, I can’t possibly sleep

Khuda Ne Tujhko Diya Mujhe, Tujhe Main Kho Nahi Sakta :

God has given you to me, I can’t afford to lose you ever.

He can’t really remember the last time he talked with her properly. Maybe it’s because he has been trying his best to detach himself from her. Yes, it hurts, and he knows very well that she’s the one who’s hurting more in the process. But, at the end of the day, he is doing what needs to be done in order to let her flourish, or so he thinks. He looks back at his laptop screen, his vision a tad bit blurry from unshed tears that burn in the back of his eyes. No, he’s not going to let his emotions win, he’s not going to let those tears fall. Not now... at least.

A soft ping of notification breaks him out of his trance and he heaves out a sigh. He blindly reaches out for his smartphone, his knuckles wrapping around the device as he brings it closer to himself. He almost drops his phone as he notices the message notification, his heart jumping up in his throat. With shaky hands, he somehow opens it, his breathing uneven as he reads her texts.

Not knowing if he should answer or just check the window, he just freezes in his place, his eyes glued to his phone screen. After a while he realises that he needs to act, so he gets up and strides towards the huge glass panel of his living room. He admires the city lights, averting his gaze to the streets in order to find her. A few helpless seconds pass by before a small figure waving their hands catches his attention. He presses his forehead against the glass, focusing enough to see her peach pink sweater and pom pom cap standing out in the white snowy background. A sight for his very sore eyes if he may say.

Main Mar Jaunga Agar Kabhi Kehna Pad Gaya Yeh Sanam, main Tera Hi Hoon Magar Tera Ho Nahi Sakta :

May God take my life if I ever come to say that I will remain yours, but I can’t be yours.

Her heart breaks more and more by each passing second. Right now she really pities herself for being so desperate and indecisive. The fact that he did see her messages but didn’t bother answering, or come over by the window is pretty much self-explanatory, isn’t it?

Her teeth sinks on her lower lip as her eyes tear up, again. Without any traces of hope left in her, she decides to look up once more before leaving. Her longing gaze falls on a tall silhouette standing by his apartment window, and her breath immediately catches in her throat. Could it be him? Or... or is it her broken mind playing illusions for her? Dumbfounded, she just stands there, clueless about her surroundings, anxiety taking over.

She only comprehends someone’s presence when she feels a pair of strong hands grasping her forearms. Baffled, she looks around, stumbling into them with a yelp. The unknown saviour holds her before she can fall, the warmth radiating from their body too comfortable for her to pull away. A pained moan escapes her, and the next thing she knows, everything goes dark.

Ethan softly places her on his couch, his brows knit together in worry. It seems like she blacked out, and her temperature is too high for his liking. He pulls out her coat, hat and scarf, all drenched from the heavy snowfall. Retrieving blankets from his bedroom, he quickly tucks her figure in them, her dry lips and he tear trails along her cheeks stinging his eyes everytime he looks at her face. She’s in pain, so much pain, and he is the reason probably. He drops a light kiss on her forehead, wondering why the world is so cruel. If they were under different circumstances, probably, just probably they could be really happy together. He would’ve kissed her good morning everyday in their bed and made love with his love. He would make her breakfast and make her dinner, spoiling her, taking bubble baths together and fighting for the last bite. And... and maybe, just maybe... their days would have been filled with the sound of little feet padding against the floor of their home.

Han Chalo Le Chalein Tumhein Taaron Ke Shehar Mein :

Let me take you to the city of the stars

Dharti Pe Yeh Duniya Hamein Pyar Na Karne Degi :

Because on Earth, this world isn’t going to let us love each other.

He looks away from her, a lone tear trailing down his cheek. No, he should not look at her, her face is making him think about the impossible fairytale ending of movies. It’s real life, not fairytale, and it’ll never be fairytale. He brushes away the tear, trying to pull away. Feeling resistance, he pauses briefly, looking down to find her hand holding on his sweater. His trembles, taking a seat beside her reclined body, softly touching her hand. Instinctively she leans into him in her unconscious daze, his body stiffening before he eases. Hesitantly he runs his fingers through her hair, but it doesn’t feel as soft as he remembers it to be like.

“Casey? Are you not taking care of your hair? Why is it-”

He stops abruptly, just realising that she’s unconscious and she won’t answer. He looks down at his feet, yes he can see the ground beneath his feet, but is it really there? Because it doesn’t feel like that from where he is right now. He can’t remember the last time he felt so guilty. The most important person in his life is unconscious in his arms, and he couldn’t blame anyone but himself and himself only. Way to go, Ramsey, he thinks.

With yet another sigh, he reaches out to run the pad of his thumb on her cheekbones, his voice barely audible, “I’m so sorry Casey... please forgive me if possible. I promise my intentions are honest, I really... I’m sorry for letting you down.”

He could feel himself on the edge of breaking down, and he grits his teeth as a frail attempt to stop it from happening. Several teardrops break free, his long form hunching down from the emotions. Holding her hand tightly in his own, he tries to gather strength. A few stray tears drop on their joined hands, trailing down on her pale, flushed skin. He’s a grown ass man, he should control his emotions and do something to help her situation, but the more he wants to stop, it pains him more. After a long struggle, he feels a feature light touch across his cheeks, his head shooting up immediately. Her dazed emeralds stare at him, her left hand resting against his face.

“Casey... I- I’m-”

“Why are you crying? ”

With her frail voice, she barely manages an almost inaudible murmur, the pain in her eyes clearly visible. He inhales a deep breath, he needs to stronger and better, if not for himself then for her...

With a handkerchief he pats his face dry, looking at her, concerned, “Are you okay? Why did you faint? Well looks like you have a fever but why-”

“You did not answer my question, Ethan.”

He shakes his head, standing up to grab more blankets and medicine for her, “Wait for me, okay? I’ll be right back.”

Her tired jades follow him as he walks in his bedroom, the stubborn headache more severe now with the jumbled thoughts in her head.

Was he crying for me? Or did something upset him? I- I didn’t do something wrong, did I? I don’t remember anything after texting him... Did I say something wrong? Was I being clingy? What did I-

A sharp pain in her head cuts off her thoughts midway, her eyes snapping shut. “E- Ethan!”

White spots appear infront her closed eyes, her head lolling back with a thud.

Shuddering from cold, she tries to shift closer to warmth, two strong hands pulling her closer to the warmth. She could feel kisses on her fingers, on her forehead, but she couldn’t comprehend anything else. A deep voice reverberates, “Can you try to open your eyes?”

She whines softly in answer, the pain etched in her body too much to bear. The voice speaks up again, “Come on, I know you can if you try.”

She hides her face in the pillow, refusing to budge. Her body tingles as she feels a familiar scratch of beard against the sensitive skin of her neck, her face tilting to the side to give him more space, “Ethan...?”

“I don’t know any Ethan, try to open your eyes.”

With an unsatisfied grunt, she flutters her eyes open, immediately meeting with a pair of piercing ocean blues. For a long moment they just stare at each-other, as if cherishing and memorizing every moment of this precious time. He’s the first one to break the silence, “You’ve been skipping meals everyday, eating a very unhealthy amount of ice cream in December, crying too much, not letting others take care of you and probably overthinking a lot.”

Silence.

“I talked with your roommates over phone.”

Her face drops, strands of hair curtaining her face.

“You’ve been avoiding me, acting like I don’t exist, cutting off all the connections with me and probably planning to forget me.”

Silence.

“It was bold of me to assume that you do care about me.”

“Casey nothing is like-”

“You’re about to pull off another Amazon, aren’t you? The only difference would be that you’ll never come back this time.”

“What?! You really think that low of me?”

“I just said the truth. You did exactly this last year before Amazon.”

“Casey you do understand that I went to fight a pandemic as a doctor, do you? It is real world if you forgot. Stop being so childish. For once try to think your words thoroughly before speaking.”

“Oh? Am I childish now? Then why-”

“Listen, grow up. You don’t understand that I’m doing this for your own good. We are professionals. I don’t have time to babysit a grown woman.”

Her eyes cloud up immediately, the colour draining from her face, “What do you mean? Are you implying-”

He averts his gaze, sitting up, “Not now. You need time to recover. I’ll get ready for the hospital right now. I’ll leave your breakfast on the kitchen island and the required medicines are by our- umm my bedside table and I’ve prepared charts for your daily meals and medicines. Once you’re able to get up go back to your home, you have a day off for today.”

She barely listens to him, her mind replaying again and again, I don’t have time to babysit a grown woman.

Wordlessly he walks out of the room, the sound of the door closing catching her off guard. He just talked about a break-up, didn’t he? What else he could’ve meant?

Out of rage, she punches his pillow, sobs wrecking her body the next moment. This is not how it’s supposed to work between them. This is not how she imagined their relationship to be. This is not how she wanted to spend the holiday month. This is not the Ethan who confessed to her months ago in her almost death-bed.

But surely, this is the end. Of herself.

Thank you thank you thank you for reading 😭❤️! It’s been a real struggle for me to post, I feel like nothing is good enough 😥✋🏼! And the sudden huge drop of my reader count is making me insecure 🥴, I know it’s stupid but my brain immediately goes, “You’re not good enough and that’s why people aren’t interested.” 😭💀

And... Sorry, I honestly don’t know how it got so dark. As I said, it went through 7/8 rewrites and I changed up the incidents each time. I’m not really satisfied with this, but I cried a lot and now my nose is blocked so I’ll take that it is angsty...? 😬 I dunno... Just hopefully it makes sense in some way because well I- 💀 and no I did not edit this, there might be typos and mistakes, sorry.

🏷️ Taglist part 1 : @openheartthot ; @marvel-hp* ; @udishaman ; @schnitzelbutterfingers ; @missmiimiie ; @drakewalker04 ; @angela8754 ; @drariellevalentine ; @newcolonies ; @dxnicaramsey ; @mysticaurathings ; @lahamseiroshoe ; @rookieoh ; @dulceghernandez ; @akshara16 ; @shadynaturehilariouscookie ; @theinvisibledreamergirl ; @enamouredbytruth ; @openheartreader* ; @maurine07 ; @tsrookie ; @literaryexpress ; @freckles-spangledvampire ; @monsoonblooms12 ; @whimsicallywayward15 ; @starrystarrytrouble ; @utterlyinevitable ; @virtuemoir-avengers* ; @blainehellyes ; @randomperson111 ; @nikki-2406 ; @sushiharrington ; @crazynutella ; @takemyopenheart (please let me know if you want to be added or removed 🥰 ; and if you’re new, fill up this form)

🏷️ Fanfic tags : @choicesficwriterscreations ; @openheartfanfics ; @choicesjanuarychallenge2021 : I am so sorry for the late submission 😔, this was meant to be posted on 9th January for the prompt sorrow but then procrastination said nO aLeYnA yOu’Re nOt poStiNg tHaT 💀✋🏼

Yeah... I don’t have anything else to say hehe 😳🤡👍🏼 Thank you for putting up with me, seriously. I can not imagine how hard it is for y'all. Sorry but thank you. Love you all 💜!

#open heart #playchoices

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