rifolas

[rifolas]

I have a penis

You have a penis

He she we have a penis

Everybody has a penis

Some are just inverted and some are exverted

[rifolas]

No shit

this liks saying

"The way we choose to make our sandwiches creates the sandwiches we eat"

[rifolas]

A penis walks into a bar

Everybody in the bar freaks out and starts screaming because there is a disembodied penis in the bar

[rifolas]

Am i the only one who has a realization about something by myself and then talk to myself for like 3 hours about it and waxing philosophically like a madman while i take a shower

[rifolas]

Penis

[rifolas]

Watching companies owned by the same parent company take jabs at each other on social media and commercials is like watching a billionaire mash his toys together

[rifolas]

[rifolas]

*An alien species somewhere*

"gosh i hate it how my butt gets so hard when i'm horny"

"I love you hard butt honey"

"Yeah well sometimes i just wanna sit down without cumming"

[rifolas]

A flock of penises is called a "Cock Rocket"

[rifolas]

e most horrifying part of a relationship is being so closely attached to someone and so vulnerable and then they take advantage of our vulnerabilities instead of helping you or protecting you

I think some people view a relationship as a warzone because they're busy tryig to be right, in control, or use the other person

But i think a relationship is more like a building a house from the ground up, you need to work together to set the foundation, get the insulation in, and furnish the home. If you just combat each other then the house is going to be poolry constructed, cold in the winter, and look like shit

[rifolas]

[rifolas]

Theoratically how fast and hard cum comes out of a penis is based on pressure

Which means a penis haver could build up enough pressure to kill someone with a goon session

or even explode their own penis

Science is cool

[rifolas]

I just recognized

Someone somewhere out there

Wants nothing more

Than to fuck one of the minions from the despicable me franchise

[rifolas]

okay so i finished watching the umbrella academy and i'm gonna go on a lil' rant + spoilers

So, first season, started very strong and i enjoyed it

Second season, good up until the last few episodes and the final fight scene kinda didn't make sense and was very over the top the 50,000 trained agents running in a field firing at 6 people missing all of them and then whats her fuck walks in with one uzi and mercs all the kids? Bullshit

Third season, horseshit up until the last few episodes and i like the trans arc for Victor but it feels very abrupt and there's not much of an arc or build it just sorta happens which feels very ham handed

Fourth season, very good up until the last like 10mins

THE ENDING DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!!

Like, okay yah got the 6 kids + Lila and Jessica and Ben that's 9 not 43 which is the number of kids born with marigold in their bodies

Now i hear what you're saying "Well that's because it's their family that sets off the chain, so the other kids are irrilevent"

If that were the case then Lila wouldn't need to be there, the issue isn't the family it's the 43 kids born not the 9 people killed at the end.

SO THERE ARE STILL 34 OTHER KIDS OUT THERE WITH MERIGOLD!!!

The ending doesn't make sense, the timelines litterally shouldn't collapse because the issue isn't the umbrella academy, it's the 43 kids 7 of which are members of the umbrella academy. Plus there are other timelines which means that there are timelines where the marigold still exists and the creature at the end is only in one timeline and with how timelines work there would have to be a timeline where the creature never shows up because there are infinite timelines. So the only way to stop the marigold is at the source before the spliting of the timelines.

So the ending doesn't make sense and also like why couldn't victor just have sucked up all of the marigold and sacrificed themself, that would have made waaaaay more sense and tied up stuff into a neater bow.

IT'S JUST BAD WRITING!!! which is a theme i noticed after the first season, in little ways at first but then the story just sorta collapsed and seemed like it was being cobbled together without much thought.

It sucks because it's a really really cool concept and world but is handled and developed so poorly at times in ways that are very easy to fix! Like Hargreeves for instance, he is technically the problem, they should have done a thing where they just go back and kill him, he has a whole thing where he fights back and refuses to let his dead wife go, they convince him it just destroys the world, being a man of reason he comes to his senses and puts the marigold away and cries, the kids disappear after moving their families to the subway, bingo bango bongo well tied up

There are other ways it could end, they could have found a way to be born without the marigold, hargreeves litterally made it so the kids were born without the marigold i'm sure he could have just tweaked it a lil OR maybe he lets the world die and wants to try again and the academy has to stop him from endlessly going in loops of destroying worlds just to see his dead wife.

Come to think of it why didn't he just make it so marigold and the other stuff were never invented?

Like, so much stuff just doesn't make sense and not in a cool mysterious way but in a "hey why the fuck would that happen and why are these people so stupid?" way

LIKE THE SPARROW ACADEMY WAS HORSESHIT! like it was a cool concept but fuck the interactions between them and the umbrella academy just didn't hit right for most of the season heck like half of the sparrow kids could have not been there and very little would have changed.

I both love and hate the show, it is so good at points but damn if it doesn't disappoint a lot of the time.

I would still recommend it to people but i am disappointed with how it ended and with the lack of attention paid to the lore, it just seems like the writers got very lazy for vast swaths of the show.

Good jokes tho, i must admit the humor is on point

[rifolas]

Penis

[rifolas]

I have a solution to all of the worlds problemz and the issues pf politicz and such

Everybody dies

then, nobody can have an opinion about anything and nobody will be able to argue or have a problem about anything