ripeossis - Tumblr blog

[ripeossis]

A strange alien doctor stands near the unconscious body of Padme Amidala. “It appears she has lost the will to live.” A older man with a limp hobbles closer with the aid of a cane. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” says Dr. Gregory House.

[ripeossis]

re: that last post, ive said it before and ill say it again: no one deserves to die (deserving is fake and death is bad) but some people need to be stopped and choose to make death the only way to stop them

[ripeossis]

walking into my rhodes island office, hanging up my coat, pushing W and Ines off my desk, wiping off the blood, and opening a message from Kal that says 'kill yourself' and then is followed by 'ignore that last message'. I nod thoughtfully and ignore that last message. I take a sip of my coffee. It's Muelsyse. I spit her out into the sink. I open the cabinet and get a new mug. Ho'olheyak is in the cabinet. I sit down at my desk and respond affirmatively to the email from Platnium asking me if Gravel has been bothering me. (This gets them into a subtext filled deathmatch, which is enrichment in their enclosure.) I respond to Amiya's last cute text emoji with a ':P', which she likes within 10 seconds. I clock out. I get a beer with Hoederer and Pallas. They get into a poetry battle in 3 different languages. 5 minutes of downtime. 6 hours of brooding on the landship considering the burden of the world (in the rain.) Amiya shows up with an umbrella eventually. She asks me how my day was. I say: good.

[ripeossis]

ok enough is enough. whichever one of you virgins invented instagram starbucks recipes, die 1000 deaths. I had a customer come in today holding out their phone (full brightness) and looking all shy and Im immediately like 🙄 fine ok, what does the instagram user want me to make for them this time. well this time it's a cringe harry potter themed frappucino. excuse me??? "can you make this for me?" I said excuse me??? -- I mean *customer service voice* "yeah it looks like I have all the ingredients, haha sure!"

ok cringe instagram harry potter frappucino drinker. ok. die. "Ive never had this drink before" yeah I can tell due to the fact that it didnt exist until someone posted a #aesthetic photo of it to instagram 14 hours ago ok. ok,

but whatever, Im paid to put up with this shit. so I add the ingredients all up on my computer and congrats! ur harry potter cringe social media drink has $10 worth of syrup in it. are you happy??? is this what you wanted??? a $10 frappucino??? $10. for a drink. you doubled the price of this drink for ur off-brand "harry potter and the legend of the overpriced starbucks drink" drink. you doubled the price!!! is this how u imagined spending ur day? is this what u wanted to do when u woke up this morning? $10 for a 24oz drink?

and u know, you KNOW the influencer making this recipe doesn't even work at a starbucks cause when it was all said and done the drink looked like shit. my blender was straining against the weight of your sins (and syrups) and Im sweating, Im an animal, Im losing my mind and my blender is getting watered down frappucino syrups everywhere -- u put so much shit liquid in this blender it doesnt even fit in the cup btw. it's making a huge mess. but is it instagramable? no, its fucking ugly. #trending #foryoupage #cringe $10 harold potter drink for adult children,

so are you happy? is ur social media influencer bestie happy? I made ur stupid $10 drink for u. does it taste good? no? well I hope instagram shuts down tomorrow. I hope you read a different book. I hope I never get sober. there is no sign of land. I hope you die. I hope we both die.

[ripeossis]

carmine

[ripeossis]

literally my favorite type of tweet

[ripeossis]

her hair reminds me of the colour of a wilting rose.

[ripeossis]

[ripeossis]

on my hands and knees begging ppl to recognize platonic content. sometimes 2 guys r just friends . i dont mean this in the 'stop making everything romantic way' i mean this in the 'stop calling 2 friends who bicker siblings and stop treating any remotely caring remotely older character like a parental figure' ohhhh my god . they are not siblings they r buddies . u are all underestimating the power of having a buddy

[ripeossis]

Ugh, was having a great time mocking my recently imprisoned rival when I noticed the camera positioning makes it so that I appear behind the bars, thus framing me as trapped in a metaphorical prison of the narrative, now my whole day is ruined. Fuck.

[ripeossis]

Grand Ayatollah Sheikh Lenin al-Simbirskani

[ripeossis]

@nathanwpyle

I literally love this.

I couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes.

No joke.

[ripeossis]

maybe cain wldnt have killed abel if they had video games to healthily channel the violence between siblings. unfortunately back then the only smash brothers they had was smash brothers head in with a rock

[ripeossis]

[ripeossis]

ms word ms excel and ms powerpoint are all snooty disagreeable ladies who wont speak to me due to my meager dowry but then i meet their beautiful sister ms paint whos clumsy but charming and we fall in beautiful love. and i become mr paint

[ripeossis]

Pranking wunk