ritavonbees

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that's me in the ball pit. that's me in the spotlight losing my etc

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I'm doing Mandatory Fun Team Building at work. the activity place has this picture hanging up and the music just hit Mm Whatcha Say

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🫛 you have time, the peas said so…

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The Weeping Angels are really scary until you realize if any organism sees them they are fucked so they get hard countered by geckos, who don't blink and can see in the dark. If the Doctor strapped like two geckos onto him he'd be fine.

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girl unhinge ur jaw

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alternatives to adobe suite.

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Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

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commission for @sirkai , a toast to not quite health

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can u imagine if other pieces of media were as scared of calling their monsters what they are as zombie media is about calling zombies zombies

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gotta start the morning right 🐜🐜🐜☕

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i kind of feel like if you take "don't bomb iran" as an endorsement of the iranian government, you're not intellectually ready to engage in conversations about real-world politics. Go talk about steven's universe instead

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on the topic of everything continuing to happen so much

This poem of mine remains...perennial.

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“it’s circus work.” not to me. not if it’s my monkeys.

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it’s been ten years and i can confirm that everything still happens so much. happy anniversary king

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Iranian photographer Hossein Fatemi, offers a glimpse of an entirely different side to Iran than the image usually broadcasted by domestic and foreign media. In his photo series An Iranian Journey, many of the photographs reveal an Iran that most people never see, presenting an eye-opening look at the amazing diversity and contrasts that exist in the country.

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been thinking again recently about this poem I wrote, ten or fifteen years ago. I was professionally rapid switching between 24 hour live news and sports channels at the time so my introduction to WWE was psychically intertwined with the outbreak of violence in Ukraine (round one).

anyway.

Ukraine has not yet perished and Poland is not yet lost.

Nationalists, start

your

engines!

This contest is scheduled for one fall

and then another

and then another

and then another

and then another

and then another

so for pity’s sake don’t stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

In the red corner we have

the bear, the double-headed eagle,

the place you don’t invade in winter, the great, the terrible, the one and only

miles and miles of bloody mooooooooooooooooother Russia!

In the blue corner we have

the man with the gun, the shining city on the hill,

the land of the free and the home of the brave, the bold and the beautiful

USA! USA! USA!

Are you ready? Place your bets! We’re bringing you the battle live,

in surround sound, twenty-four hours a day, split-screen slo-mo replay on demand

because YOU demanded it

because YOU deserve it

because we love you. Why else?

And here they are –

your heroes and villains in their shiny, shiny uniforms

left, right, left, right,

noble and cowardly,

spunky and menacing,

teeth-gritting

fist-clenching

inspirational

indispensable

comprehensible

But they are not invincible.

broken bones. torn muscles. dislocations. separations.

lacerations, perforations, decapitations, detonations,

hallucinations, degradations,

look

how

beautiful

they suffer for you.

Don’t you wanna be them?

Don’t you wanna buy them?

Have we

got a deal

for you!

The deal is keep your eyes tight on those Manichaean marionettes and yes,

we promise you, you will be entertained, yes, just

the

way

you

like it.

Just pay no attention to the money behind the curtain

pacing its cage and licking its chops

oh yes, right at the top

we’re gorging ourselves on that viscous eyeball fluid,

we are sucking down your eyeballs just like mother’s milk, yes

we are groaning, we are bloated,

we are leaking eyeballs from our fingertips, but

WE

ARE NOT

ENTERTAINED.

We’re entertainers. We’re professionals.

Professionally trained

professionally financed

perpetually displayed

magnificently vibrant

professors of the faith,

confessors of the sickness of mankind –

War is a professional sport!

War is a professional sport!

War is a professional sport!

Give us this day our war and professional sport!

And remember, kids –

be smart

be safe

don’t try this at home.