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[rksaememories]

SEOYOUNG.

“if you believe in me, then i guess i can do it.” it’s true that seoyoung has trained in some things that not everyone in luxe has. she might not be the type to inspire others to follow, but she’s the supportive type, encouraging others to do their best. “well, for now i’m happy to follow along. i can’t imagine the pressure on cheri unnie’s shoulders. she works so hard.”

the sight of saerom tucking hair behind her ear makes seoyoung’s heart skip a beat. how can such a simple gesture give her such a rush? it isn’t fair, not fair at all. she sinks into the collar of her sweatshirt like a turtle. “ya, you better know i’m never getting rid of that album. oh… i should bring you a signed copy, too, next time i see you.”

seoyoung laughs. “yes, it is. i think it’s perfect.” not everything has to be flashy, right? not that it wouldn’t be fun to have a candlelight dinner at a five-star restaurant, or walk down a path of cherry blossom trees, but a low-key coffee date is just as nice. the most important thing is that they’re together. “well, it’s good we’re on the same page then. but just so you know, i’m going to pay.” she winks, the motion coming off somewhat awkward.

saerom knew that seoyoung could do anything she put her mind to. she was strong, even if she didn’t see it herself. so saerom was there for moral support, to remind her of it when she was in need of it. saerom nods, humming. she couldn’t imagine what sort of pressure luxe’s leader, cheri was under. it couldn’t be easy being a group leader, especially when bad things happen. it always falls back on them. or at least it usually does. “it shows! i think luxe is lucky to have cheri sunbaenim for a leader, y’know?” she says with a content smile. “but you could do it too!”

she chuckles at the mention of seoyoung never getting rid of her signed album. if that ever ends up happening, that is. saerom would be sure to see that seoyoung gets a plethora of signed albums and goods from her activities as an idol. “ah! really?” saerom asks, her eyes widening. “i’ll have to add it to my collection of luxe things. saebyeol has started collecting luxe merchandise too, although she’s a cheri and ella fan.” she mentions saebyeol, her little sister, and how she’s turned into quite the fan of luxe. saerom’s trying her best to get her into girl groups early on.

maybe this sort of date was ideal for the likes of them, just two girls starting out. saerom is still trying to work out how she managed to get a date with seoyoung in the first place. but that’s what you get when you’ve been crushing on someone for long enough. her brows suddenly narrow at the mention of seoyoung paying the bill. “you’re going to pay? but ... that’s not fair. what if i wanted to pay?” she says with a pout, resting her head in her hands, elbows on the edge of the table.

distance.

[rksaememories]

You’re led down the hall by a staff member early in your day at Sphere Entertainment, to Baek Jiyoung’s office. When you step into the room, she’s seated behind her desk, and she greets you with a smile that’s both gentle and professional. The staff member motions for you to take a seat across from you, then leaves. One quick glance around the room, and you can spot the same lawyer that was present when you first signed your contract.

“Hi, Saerom,” she begins, her lips still quirked up into a tiny smile before she becomes more serious. She shuffles through the paperwork on her desk for a moment, then glances back up at you. “It’s already been two years. You’ve been through a lot here. Thank you for your hard work.” Another pause, and she glances down at the papers again– shuffles them more until one manila folder is on top of the stack. “I know it can be difficult to train for so long with little to show for it, but I hope you see the same progress, growth, and promise in yourself that I see in you. If you can stick with me in Sphere a little longer, and put in more of the hard work I’ve seen from you so far, I think we’ll be able to come up with something great together.”

She opens up the manila folder in front of her, and presents a pen and contract, specifically marked where each new signature is required, to you with a bright smile. “Everyone at Sphere would love to continue working with you. Now it’s your turn to decide if you’d like to continue working with us. Feel free to take your time thinking about it, if you need it.”

her heart skips a beat, or multiple when she’s pulled from practice early one morning by a sphere staff member. saerom’s brows narrow and she exchanges glances with her fellow trainees. and as scared as she may be, saerom complies with the staff member and gingerly follows along behind them, her head hanging low. long hair, awkwardly sitting between her natural black and what’s left of brown curtains her face, shielding everyone from what she really thinks and feels. is she being taken aside to be disciplined by someone? has she done something wrong? a million questions flood saerom’s head and they start getting to her, but she quickly finds solace in the walls around her. she begins to put two and two together, realizing where she is. where she is headed. she’s going to baek jiyoung’s office. ah. then she remembers. time’s up.

saerom had always had a soft spot for baek jiyoung. in fact, saerom was sure one of her earlier celebrity crushes was baek jiyoung. nova entertainment had always been the place she wanted to be the most. she wanted in to nova because they were dancers, that and her cousin jungwoo was a trainee there. but saerom found herself being found by sphere and she then found herself signing a contract in a heartbeat. perhaps on a whim to some but saerom knew what she was doing. after months of hating herself for her lack of confidence and creativity, sphere approached saerom and gave her the opportunity to pursue her dream. and for that, saerom is thankful.

she loves sphere.

the office is still very much the same. baek jiyoung is seated behind her desk and she gives the staff member and saerom a warm but professional smile. the staff member gestures for saerom to take a seat and she follows the instruction hastily, bowing to both the staff member and baek jiyoung before she takes her seat, hands folded in her lap neatly. a lawyer is present, and if she remembers correctly, it was the lawyer whom accompanied saerom when she firstly signed her contract two years ago. two years. had it really been two years already? baek jiyoung greets a very nervous saerom and she watches as the ceo begins to shuffle paperwork around in front of her. saerom isn’t sure what she’s going to say next or if she’s going to say anything at all. she looks back up towards saerom and the girl feels her stomach flip inside her.

it’s already been two years. you’ve been through a lot here. thank you for your hard work. so it really had been two years already. two years of sphere and yet saerom had nothing to show for it. and the thought of that somehow broke her. this past year had been anything but kind to her, from her health deteriorating on her at the beginning of the year to her fellow trainees leaving her behind at sphere. yerim, luna and now eve. it’s not as if she wasn’t aware that this was coming up, she knew that she would have to face the music when her contract timed out. she just hadn’t contemplated what she was going to do with herself when the moment finally arose. saerom still sits there in silence, hands still folded in her lap, her head still hung low as she watches baek jiyoung continue to shuffle the papers about, pulling sheets from manila folders. she’s so calm.

i know it can be difficult to train for so long with little to show for it. so, she knows. she knows. she wonders if it would be so bad to give it all up, the whole dream. maybe saerom would find herself in college, studying like her parents really wanted her to. maybe she could settle for another dream, like being a choreographer or a back-up dancer. would it be so wrong to leave it all behind? but i hope you see the  same progress, growth and promise in yourself that i see in you. if you can stick with me in sphere a little longer and put in more of the hard work i’ve seen from you so far, i think we’ll be able to come up with something great together. but she can’t find it in herself to abandon this dream just yet. she knows that what she feels is fear, saerom is fearful for whatever the future may hold for her. who knows how long she’ll be holding on to this dream but she knows that she can’t abandon it just yet. she can’t leave minhee, seulgi or jihyo behind. and someday, she wants to be able to stand on stage with her girlfriend. but above all, she can’t lie to herself and say that she’s ready to give it all up. because deep down, saerom still wants this more than anything in the world. she just has to keep on trying. 

baek jiyoung opens up the manila folder in front of her and presents saerom with a pen and a brand new contract. so, baek jiyoung still wanted saerom in her company, she still saw something in her. so maybe saerom owed it to baek jiyoung, to continue on this path. to be positive and hopeful. everyone at sphere would love to continue working with you. now it’s your turn to decide if you’d like to continue working with us. feel free to take your time thinking about it, if you need it. she’s been heavy in thought from the moment she got in the room, and it’s not as though the possibility of her not re-signing her contract or her not being offered one hadn’t crossed her mind. but saerom knows that she’ll regret it for the rest of her days if she doesn’t try at least one more time. she glances towards the pen and contract in front of her, and gingerly she reaches out for it and picks it up. it trembles in her grasp. she presses the tip of the pen to the contract, following the dotted line where she’s asked to write her name. lee saerom. there’s no going back now. 

she rests the pen back down on top of jiyoung’s desk, bowing her head as she does so. saerom looks across to baek jiyoung and manages a thin lipped smile. although nervous, it is genuine. “i just wanted to say thank you, sajang-nim.” she begins, her voice soft. “thank you for believing in me. i promise to work harder to become a better version of myself.” she gets to her feet and bows once again, holding the bow momentarily. “i won’t let you down.”

OOC NOTE: First of all, congratulations to two years as a trainee! I know it’s been a long and crazy journey, and I’m so glad you’ve stuck through it. When you are ready, feel free to post this prompt with Saerom’s response to it.

Should Saerom choose to RENEW her contract with Sphere, she will sign on to the same agreement as before for another two years. As a reward for making it this far, she will receive ONE WEEK unpaid vacation time to use any time between now and the end of January, so long as it doesn’t clash with any special trainee activities.

Should she choose to REJECT her contract with Sphere, she will leave the company, effective immediately upon rejection. She will be able to keep all of her debut points, but will not be able to take any trainee workshops or earn any more debut points/workshop points until she becomes a trainee again. She will not have any special advantage over newer characters when she auditions for other companies in the future, and should she become a trainee at a new company she will be considered a junior trainee all over again, even though she will still have her debut points and would be eligible for debut right away. She WILL have the right to audition for Sphere again, but the fact that she gave up a contract renewal WILL be taken into account in final casting decisions.

She will have up to one week to make her decision IC, meaning that if she does not make a decision by October 26th she will automatically be cut from the company. Exceptions can be made for those on hiatus.

[rksaememories]

SEOYOUNG.

pizza sounds really good, actually. the constant hunger of her lifestyle has faded to background noise by now, but a greasy treat can still wake it up. it makes the corners of seoyoung’s mouth curve up in amusement. saerom was expecting pizza, and instead she got seoyoung. well, hopefully she can be just as satisfying.  

somehow, the look that saerom gives her is even more thrilling than what they’d just been doing with their lips. she feels a tingle in her chest. that look of happiness, of… love… is a level of intimacy she’s never experienced. it’s overwhelming and she has to look away for a moment, feeling her face heat up. but she gathers her strength and looks back at saerom. seoyoung’s eyes are intense, serious– just as serious as she is about saerom.

she squeezes their fingers together, tight, then leans over to press another kiss on the younger girl’s forehead. the warmth, her soft scent, it’s been so long since she’s experienced it. “saerom, i…” seoyoung thought she knew what she wanted to say, but her thoughts are scattered by the chemistry between them. she clears her throat, tucks her hair behind her ear and tries again.

“i want to be with you… really be with you.” she bites her lip. “i know it’s hard to see each other, but i want to try. there are some other girls in the group who have boyfriends.” seoyoung chuckles, thinking of the hushed phone conversations she’s overheard, helping the others hide and be secretive. of the matter-of-fact discussions they’ve had in the dorm that would surely cause a scandal if they ever came to light. “if they can make it work, then… maybe we can?”

she looks at saerom’s eyes again, suddenly nervous. she knows it’s a lot to ask. to make a commitment when everything has to remain secret, and they don’t even know when they can see each other again. but… seoyoung has never asked for much. she’s been so good and obedient all her life, and it’s left her heart unfulfilled. she wants saerom to be hers, she wants to be saerom’s.

even moments after seoyoung had stumbled in through saerom’s door, held her and kissed her; saerom still struggles to believe this is all really happening. how could it not be something in her imagination, something she had conjured up out of desperation, out of her longing for seoyoung to be back in her life, to be hers. saerom hears her heart pounding away in her ears, and she can still feel the slightest tremble in her fingers when they’re not entwined with seoyoung’s. those butterflies don’t attempt to calm themselves, even when saerom herself is so content with this.

saerom closes her eyes as seoyoung presses a gentle kiss against her forehead, their fingers still entwined. the two sit together on the sofa, tucked away in the safety of saerom’s apartment, away from prying eyes and intrusive questions. it’s just them, nothing more and nothing less. it’s so simple, but it’s all saerom’s wanted for so long. to have her. to have someone to call her own. amidst the quiet, seoyoung utters saerom’s name. she hums in response, glancing at the older female curiously. she sounds ... uncertain, perhaps a little nervous, much like saerom herself. she clears her throat, brushing the hair back from her face. and saerom can’t help but smile a little, the corner of her mouth turning upwards. gosh, saerom thinks to herself. she’s so pretty.

seoyoung’s confession is simple, honest and sweet; and it’s enough for saerom to confirm that the past year had been real, and genuine. that her feelings towards this girl weren’t fabricated, that they weren’t a form of miscommunication. so, seoyoung really wanted to be with saerom, despite their situation, despite her situation. and damn was saerom ready to actually give this a go. anxiety about seoyoung’s future as an idol and the fear of someone outing them or someone doing something to hurt her brews in the back of her mind, although she buries it. both know the consequences, what they’re getting themselves into. and seoyoung, to saerom, is worth it.

in a span of a few moments, saerom internally argues with herself over what she’s going to reply with. she knows nothing she says is going to be perfect, or the right thing to say but she knows she can’t keep seoyoung waiting. she has to spit it out, she has to say something. the heartbeat in her ears grows louder, it’s almost deafening at this point. she takes a deep breath, attempting to mask it as a sigh. “let’s make it work then, hey?” she chimes softly, holding seoyoung’s hands in hers. “i believe in you, i believe in us. you and me. we can do this and i know one thing for sure; i want be yours, seoyoung.”

hold me.

[rksaememories]

DON’T BE SAD.

💌 @rkkhg​

another large scale performance on a big stage, performing in front of hundreds or maybe even thousands. it was just another opportunity to mess things up. or an opportunity for redemption; saerom hadn’t gotten that far yet. it’s safe to say though that leading up to the well awaited green ribbon event, that saerom has a lot on her mind. she’s done her best in the preparations leading up to the day to keep herself in check, to not overwhelm herself. after all, she wasn’t in any hurry to go and embarrass herself again, especially not before all of the new sphere faces.

she’s still feeling uneasy about the whole missing faces amongst them thing. it’s not like saerom isn’t happy to have new faces around at sphere, because she is. it’s always good to go ahead and make new friends, it’s just hard to do so when familiar ties get severed. so maybe she has something to distract herself with for once. instead of focusing on overworking herself, making this performance absolutely perfect ( as she usually would ), she worries about team moral and ensuring that everyone sticks together. that’s what being a team player is all about, right?

she shuffles over to one of the newer faces at sphere, hyunggu, who was signed to the company after he won the latest season of the mgas. they’re done for now with rehearsals for the event, so saerom figures now is a good time to initiate conversation. well, hopefully he doesn’t find it too weird that she’s speaking to him out of the blue. “hey, it’s h-hyunggu right?” she asks the younger male, raising a brow.

[rksaememories]

🍽

[rksaememories]

NEVER REALLY OVER.

💌 @rkxeve​

it’s strange for saerom to look back on her year. she’s come so far, from her illness to her stint of sadness and depression, overwhelmed by negative thoughts constantly. to her much more open minded and enthusiastic self coming forward. the bubbly saerom was beginning to re-appear too and just in a matter of time. how sad would it of been for her to of given up on everything, maybe it would of been easier. to admit defeat. it took her some time to find herself back on the right path but she’s sure she can’t stray from it ever again. she’s got her sights set on the end of the tunnel for good now. and she’s not stopping until she gets herself there.

well, that’s what she thought. saerom hasn’t really come to terms with the fact that sometimes, people give up on this dream and they leave you behind. or is it more so that they leave them behind? is saerom leaving her friends behind? or have they forgotten her? with saerom’s source of light and motivation to keep going forward at sphere being gone, the hope of the two of them debuting together is over for good.

saerom sighs, looking out at the night sky from behind the glass window of one of sphere’s many training rooms. the stars are dotted beneath clouds of grey and saerom is sure it’s still hot out, although she isn’t really in the know since the air-conditioning in the building is pretty great. she glances across to the girl beside her and gives her a sad, thin-lipped smile. “it still feels weird with them being gone, y’know. trainees leaving is ... weird, it’s like they’re there, then they’re not.”

[rksaememories]

SOUNDTRACK OF OUR LIVES.

💌 @junerk

a clearly frustrated saerom sits in the sphere cafeteria amidst her lunch period, her face buried in her mobile phone, her brows narrowed. noises of disgust escape her mouth every now and then, although she’s sure no one’s taking notice. this evaluation wasn’t really clicking with saerom at all and it was throwing her off. well, it wasn’t clicking easy, that’s for sure. she glances over the top of her phone, totally ignoring the half eaten meal in front of her. “you would think as an avid drama fan that a song would come easily to me.” she murmurs, glancing back at her phone. she clicks the lock button her phone. “think again.” haphazardly, she places it down on a vacant space on the very crowded table. she sighs, looking back down at her lunch.

“how’s the evaluation coming along for you?” saerom asks curiously, raising a brow. she rests her head in the palm of one of her hands, while the other mindlessly taps atop of the table. “it’s gotta be going better for you than me, surely.” june was more vocal orientated than saerom, so that was a bonus for him. saerom had come to the conclusion that she wasn’t going to find a drama ost of any sorts with a rap that wasn’t already taken by someone. that and finding a song that wasn’t extremely emotional and would cause her vocal chords to rupture was a mission and a half. “why is nothing coming to me for this, this was supposed to be easy!”

[rksaememories]

@haesae_ just some lunch break shenanigans 🍣🍙

[rksaememories]

Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much.

Blaise Pascal  (via wordsnquotes)

[rksaememories]

i love rksae! she's such a lovely muse and i really love how you've shaped her and how you write for her ^^ you're the perfect mun for her and i hope we'll get to plot soon :D

thank you so much anon for your lovely message! i’m really happy to know that there are other people that love rksae as much as i do. she’s definitely a muse of mine who has grown the most and i wouldn’t change a thing. thank you for your support and i hope we get to plot soon too! 🌟

[rksaememories]

@haesae_ you finally made it, cousin 💫 ✨ @juwoos #per_se

[rksaememories]

MARK.

mark sort of thinks that holding hands with someone who is his sunbae in the company. it’s kind of weird for him. he could have had the two of them tied together by their legs but mark wants to be able to run and not accidentally kick saerom in the head. mark would rather bury himself alive.

“i-i just don’t want to trip and fall if we tie our feet together.” he stumbles over his words, sort of scared that saerom would disagree with him or something. but he ends up being pretty cool with it all. she ties their hands together and he gently holds onto her hand, barely even squeezing it. he doesn’t even dare intertwine their fingers.

“u.. uh.. i hope this is okay. i’m sorry i-i i’m nervous,” he wanted to admit he was gay straight out but he is terrified of the idea that saerom would say something about it. korea wasn’t as open as canada was. but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try his best at least.

“where do you think we should hide?”

saerom carefully ties their wrists together, leaving them with only one option: to hold hands. she’s a little nervous, as is mark but saerom is sure those feelings will dissipate once they get used to eachother. after all, this is their first proper meeting. it’s not everyday that you hold hands with a total stranger, it’s very reminiscent of team building exercises from school. saerom is coming to realise that this is very much that, a team building exercise. mark’s hold on her hand is very, very gentle, so she tries her best to not be overbearing and to hold onto his hand very gently.

she looks at him with with a gentle smile. “it’s okay, don’t worry!” she assures him, throwing him a thumbs up with her spare hand. she almost feels bad that this is their first meeting with each other. couldn’t they of met over lunch or something? and did they really have to be tied to one another? “just let me know if it gets too weird, okay? we don’t have to hold hands, we can just be tied by the wrist.” saerom wants to do her best to not make this weird, although she’s sure that, knowing her, she’ll somehow end up making it weird.

she purses her lips, looking around them. good question. where could they go to hide? there was a multitude of places they could go, many possibilities. “uh, good question...” saerom mumbles, continuing to scout the area. “maybe somewhere where we can’t be snuck up on?” she suggests with a shrug. “somewhere with a bit of a view ... what do you think?” 

HIDE & SEEK.

[rksaememories]

rkyerim‌:

“of course, i think so,” yerim says nudging saerom again. “i don’t lie, even when it’s probably beneficial for me.” she gives a small huff of a laugh and looks down to her fingernails, staring at the gap in the acrylic where her naked fingernail is showing slightly. she looks over to saerom again, smiling and keeping her head up high. 

she has to understand these doubts saerom is having because she’s been in the same position. failing all of her previous auditions only brought her the success to be here and meeting saerom, reconnecting with luna, and getting to see her sister everyday was so worth the hardship that she had endured. 

yerim’s eyes keep to saerom’s face when she thanks her and her smile turns soft an understanding, giving a nod. she nudges saerom again and then nods at her words. “me too,” yerim says almost above a whisper. “now that… i’ve met you, and all the other girls in sphere, i don’t think i could picture being anywhere else. just doesn’t feel right?” yerim smiles again, eyes melting into half moons. “we’re sisters now, okay?”

saerom has always wondered what her life would of been like if she had of rejected the contract to sphere, or if she had never of passed her audition in the first place. she would probably be a college student right now, pursuing something of some sorts. it’s the one thing her parents had asked her to do, to study while pursuing her idol dreams. they had been so immensely patient and supportive of saerom and her passions. it would be a disservice to them to give up now, to not give it her all. saerom wonders what her life would be like if she had ended up at nova, or one of the other big companies; would her life be any different to what it is now, would she be in a better place mentally and physically? 

but no. saerom knows, she’s come to understand just how grateful she is for sphere. sphere is her home now, as are the people who surround her. they’re her family, makeshift and as quirky as they all may be. how unbelievably stupid saerom was to be fearful of yerim’s place in sphere, thinking that she being here would threaten her place in the company. yerim had been nothing but a sweetheart towards saerom since she got here. that was the sort of person, the type of person saerom wanted around her. the corners of saerom’s mouth turn upwards as yerim says me too, the conformation that she wasn’t in this alone. she had yerim. and saerom was sure that at some point in time, the other girls from sphere, even the boys, had gone through a period of doubt and worry. curious, scared and worried if this was the path for them.

yerim’s words were comforting, as simple as they may of been. “sisters have to take care of each other, right?” saerom says with a nod. a collective of sisters was always better than one or none.

BREAKING DOWN.

[rksaememories]

SEOYOUNG.

a shiver runs down seoyoung’s spine when saerom touches her cheek, and another comes at the sight of her smile. it plucks at her heart. suddenly it sinks in how much she’s missed that. in this moment she knows it was worth it; to see that smile she’d do it all again. she’d disgrace her parents a thousand times, she’d give up any obligation to come here and see that face.

but she can hear that saerom is nervous, and seoyoung immediately goes tense, trying to rein herself in just a bit. not too fast. she’s about to apologize when saerom kisses her again. it’s so soft, reserved compared to the last one, but not hesitant like the first time. the glass has been broken now; there’s nothing keeping them apart, neither the idol/trainee boundary nor their own fears. another wave of heat passes through seoyoung’s body from head to toe as their lips meld together. she wants more, but the wanting itself is thrilling. the kiss is all the more intoxicating for its gentleness.

ever so slowly, she runs her hands down the side of saerom’s hips until their lips part again, and seoyoung exhales deeply. “mm-hm.” her fingers reach to intertwine with saerom’s, then brush against something papery in the other girl’s hand. seoyoung looks down. money? she shoots a questioning look at saerom, but doesn’t ask. it feels like a non-sequitur right now. part of the domestic little scene she’s just barged into.

her eyes flick around the room, taking in the other little details. it doesn’t look so different from the last time she was here; it even smells the same, like saerom. oh, how long it’s been since their last sleepover. and since that night, how many times has seoyoung called it up in her imagination before falling asleep, imagining what else might have happened if she’d been more brave? the thoughts ranged from cheesy, romantic, to downright unspeakable. seoyoung felt ashamed of that once, but there’s no reason to now.

quickly, seoyoung takes off her shoes and drops her bag on the floor, then takes saerom’s free hand in her own. she leads her slowly toward the couch, not rushing, but not stalling either. seoyoung sits down and sinks into the cushion. her limbs splay out comfortably, still warm and buzzing. “come here,” she says quietly, looking up at saerom. “please.”

the butterflies continue to flutter about in saerom’s stomach, like an untamed storm. saerom is starting to believe that they’re attempting their escape; that hey’ll fill her chest cavity and flood her throat. they’re attempting to escape, as are saerom’s feelings for the girl in front of her. she wonders if seoyoung is as nervous as she is, if the slight tremble beneath saerom’s touch is enough to give away just how unprepared she is for all of this. she doesn’t want to be like this, but she can’t help it. a passionate kiss from seoyoung is followed up by a gentle, sincere kiss from saerom. she continues to cradle the older female’s face in her hands, holding her as though she was fragile and might break if she isn’t careful. which couldn’t be too far from the truth, of late especially. seoyoung’s hands find saerom’s hips. everything is falling into place, one thing at a time. she keeps her eyes shut until the two slowly part from one another, saerom’s eyes flutter open, watching seoyoung intently as though she may disappear before her.

their hands find one anothers at last, their fingers intertwine. the disbelief still hasn’t left saerom and she’s sure that for sometime that it won’t. seoyoung is here. after this past week, saerom hadn’t been so sure where they would end up or what would become of them. was there really a them to begin with or was it all in saerom’s head. amidst their affections for one another, saerom finds herself explaining the reason for the crumbled bill at their feet. she can’t help but smile and chuckle to herself, shaking her head. “it was uh, it was for pizza.” she says softly, glancing down to their feet. the pizza, the money; it was all out of mind, out of sight from here on out. she wasn’t hungry anymore. she had better things to do. someone she needed to be with tonight.

she watches as seoyoung slips off her shoes at the door, dropping her bag by the door. standing there somewhat awkwardly in her basketball jersey and shorts, saerom tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear before seoyoung takes saerom by the hand, leading her across the room towards the couch where she had been sitting earlier. seoyoung sinks into the couch and saerom follows, only seconds after seoyoung asking her to be with her. saerom collapses into the couch, it feels more comfortable than usual. perhaps it has something to do with the fact that she’s sharing it with someone she feels for immensely. their hands still entwined, saerom looks at seoyoung and just sighs, shaking her head. it’s a happy sigh, almost one of a relief. one that says, you came back for me, you’re here and last and i couldn’t be happier. she can’t verbalise what she feels right now but she has a feeling that seoyoung already knows this. 

hold me.

[rksaememories]

SAEROM: FUN!

[rksaememories]

GROWING PAINS.

💌 @rksaebom​

  TRIGGER WARNING: hospital & mental health mentions!

saerom had been dealing with her mental health, the pain from inside her head, for a couple of months now. she was learning what worked and what didn’t work, she was learning to be patient with herself and saerom wasn’t a patient person, she had come to understand that pretty damn quickly. she feels better though. stronger. but she’s come to realise that this is nowhere near the worst thing that could happen to her. sure, she worked herself to exhaustion and hospitalised herself. the worst thing that happened was a concision and some serious scolding by doctors. saerom has come to realise that the worst thing that could happen, hasn’t happened to her; an injury that renders her unable to dance ever again. and even though it’s dance that put her here in the first place, saerom can’t deny that the thing that she hates right now, is what she loves.

so it’s jarring it arrive at saerok’s doorstep one evening and come face to face with her friend on crutches. saerom is so used to seeing saerok being up and on her feet. she’s so athletic and agile; this is so unlike her. her heart sinks immediately because she knows that her friend is an athlete. and injuries are detrimental. they’re always detrimental. saerom’s breath hitches in her throat as she looks saerok up and down before meeting her eyes. “hey saerok,” she says with a faint smile. saerom suddenly feels a little bad for making the girl get up to answer the door, but now she’s sort of glad that she offered to come over after training instead of asking if they could meet up somewhere. “a-are you okay?” she asks, gesturing to her foot.

[rksaememories]

rksae‌:

     a-ha a-ha a-ha! 

for august’s month’s evaluation, saerom is going to be performing after school’s bang! in japanese ( not as catchy as the korean but, it’s still after school and it’s still bang! so … ) although she’s a rather competent japanese speaker, she is nowhere near fluent and in both my eyes, and her eyes, there is always room for improvement! we’re looking for some girls who would be interested in performing bang! alongside saerom. i’m thinking we probably don’t need to fill the whole group since each girl has more or less one line, so if we get around four to five more girls, i think that would be good! 

     anyways, please like this if you’d be interested in joining this evaluation group!