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Journal 69

It has been a long day. A very long day. We finally made it into Xin’Shalast, and have already found ourselves fighting horrific monsters and familiar faces. I may have to break today into multiple entries, I don’t know that I can get down everything that happened today before I need to retire to bed. We have another long day ahead of us tomorrow, after all.

After our three day fast, by the light of the full moon we were able to see that one of the walls of the mountain was an illusion. We made our way down the newly revealed path, walking for hours until we came to a swampy fey area. It was quiet and peaceful. I suggested to the others that we take a moment to rest, as I informed them of my hero’s feast spell. Unae was hesitant, uncertain if breaking the fast now would cause us to be ejected from this place, whereas I was fairly certain that it had merely been needed to see through the initial illusion.

As we discussed, a nymph made her presence known. She introduced herself as Svevenka, the protector of the icemists. She told Unae that she is the sister of the fey who she’d helped to move on with Lamatar Bayden of the Black Arrows, and that she was aware of how Unae had helped her sister when she was suffering. Unae told Svevenka about the spirit we’d seen recently, the new creature born of the spirits of both lovers. Svevenka seemed happy to know her sister was at peace, and she offered to assist us in what little ways she could. She assured us that eating now would not undo our work to get here, and asked to join us in breaking bread, which we gladly agreed to. A couple of minutes of spell casting, and we had a very literal feast set out before us. For a moment, we were able to forget our troubles. The food was delicious despite being made by magical means, and Svevenka was good company. We all ate and drank our fill, and felt beyond refreshed afterwards. I suspect that the spell does more than just fill our stomachs, we seemed to handle ourselves better in our trials for the rest of the day. I intend to prepare this spell for the rest of our time in Xin’Shalast, both as a guaranteed source of sustenance and a moral boost.

Once the feast came to a close, Svevenka opened a path through the swamp and lead us as far as she could. Before we parted ways she used her magic to help give us some small protections, and she told us that we should look for a skrull named Morgive in Xin’Shalast, as he would be a friend.

Finally, we came to a golden gate, and a barrier surrounding the city. Ichibod used his magic to scry on the other side of the gate, and described a number of people inside, which we realized were Flynn, Lain, Nualia, and Foxglove. Unae lead the way to meet with them, but couldn’t find a way through the barrier separating us and them.

We weren’t given time to try to figure it out, when a barrier ripped open near the other group and a number of devils swarmed out, and our friends were forced to flee. A familiar armored figure exited the portal after them: Unae’s mother Narunes, clad in the black draconic armor that Emmery had been wearing until recently. Narunes told Unae she would finish off Flynn and Lain first, and then come for us, before running after the devils and the other group.

We managed to figure out how to break through the barrier: our greedbane weapons were the key, as Karvoug himself had told us before we’d ever entered Runeforge to make them. When the barrier shattered, the shards of energy formed into a golden light which engulfed Ichibod’s rifle, transforming it into a powerful greedbane weapon to match the rest of ours.

Before we could enter and chase after the devils and Narunes, a number of giants attacked our group. Unae and Linda tried intimidating them away, but it only seemed to make them angry, with one frost giant declaring he would rather die than flee.

Rich and Nel had a little more luck on their end, with Rich using his comedic magic to cause one of the giants to laugh uncontrollably, giving Nel and opening to attack. I saw this combination and thought it would be an opening for me to finish off the giant for Nel. I called up the four magical orbs of elemental assessor and went to attack, when I felt a sudden pain in my chest. It’s hard to describe. It was like hot iron was being squeezed around my heart with each heartbeat. I lost focus and my spell backfired, dousing myself in all four elements. In the back of my mind I heard familiar laughter. I don’t know if I imagined it in my pain or if she somehow got into my head, but I’m positive it was Emmery.

While I was struggling with the pain, the others kept fighting. Huge boulders were being thrown through the air by the giants. Most missed, but one meant for Linda ended up hitting Ichibod instead, nearly shattering his thin form. I manages to push through the pain that was still throbbing in my heart and healed up Ichibod’s injuries, as well as Nel and Rich who were nearby.

As the healing magic sparked over Ichibod’s body, my own pain began to subside. In the last moments before the pain was completely gone I heard a foreboding promise from Emmery. “Next time”.

I like the spell, but do not think I’ll be attempting to use elemental assessor again anytime soon.

Unae and Elkin were fighting in perfect unison, with Elkin’s multi-segmented shield floating around and batting away attacks aimed at Unae, while Unae shot volley after volley of arrows into the giants’ weakest points. Linda and Meinus were working together against another. I was close enough to attempt to sling a spell at their target. I felt hesitant to go for an offensive divine spell so soon after elemental assessor’s backfire. Instead, I aimed scorching ray at the giant. It shot true: all three rays hit the giant, and Linda and Meinus took the opportunity to finish it off.

Unae then shot a barrage of arrows at a cloud giant that was going after Nel. It looked light it was getting ragged, and I risked using searing light to finish it off. Fortunately I did not have another backfire. The spell hit the giant directly in the face. Rather gruesomely, the giant’s eyes caught fire and it burned from the inside out from the holy light.

While I was distracted with this, Rich had been climbing a ladder made from a staff he’d found after we’d fought the wendigo. Unfortunately, he didn’t take into account the giant’s reach. It plucked him off the ladder and dropped him. He fortunately managed to use his whip to catch back onto the ladder and swung back to safety.

Ichibod, after he’d attempted a number of spells which failed to take effect, decided to go for a more direct approach. He used his rifle, infusing the bullets with some form of magic before firing off three shots, which all hit. Some form of necrotic energy burst from the bullets on contact, damaging and weakening the final giant. The giant seemed to realize after this that it was outmatched, and it tried to flee.

Tried being the operative word. I was content to let it go and to go help the others with the devils and Narunes, but Unae had other ideas. She shot an arrow as far as she could, and managed to strike the cloud giant out of the sky, likely killing it before it even hit the ground.

In a rather dark show of cold heartedness, Unae then went to one of the slain giants and carved off a Sihedron rune from its body, saying that if anyone else in the city needed proof we’d been invited by Karvoug, the sihedron would be it. I don’t know that anyone in the city will believe a bloody skin carving was given to us by Karvoug, but Unae has been in a stormy mood since her mother appeared, and I didn’t dare say anything right that moment.

Unae didn’t wait for the rest of us, and made a beeline for the city, using her skills to begin tracking the devils and her family members. The rest of us rushed to catch up. Ichibod pulled me up onto his broom to fly with him, allowing us to keep pace with Unae.

As we made our way into the city, the scenery turned…strange. It’s hard to describe. There were roiling yellowish clouds in the sky, which showed visions of strange things. Buildings like the ones in Blackwell. Strangely dressed people walking a crowded street. A giant woman with a torch. We’d heard that the veil between our realm and Leng was thin here, but I’d had no idea what that really meant until seeing these strange visions.

The buildings of Xin’Shalast were much like the ones in Blackwell. Even though they were ancient and hadn’t been used in many thousands of years, everything was still well preserved. If I’d bothered to use detect magic, I’m certain I would have seen the same preservation spell on the buildings that have been on the other ancient Thassalonian ruins we’ve explored thus far.

The farther we got into the city, the more dead devils we found littering the roads. It appeared that our friends had held their own so far. This was confirmed when Nualia sent me a message via sending, which assured us that they were OK, that they’d cut off the ‘light bridges’, and that they would meet us at the summit. Now we just needed to figure out how to reach the summit, since these bridges were the only way forward.

Nel took the tablet Ichibod gave me, believing it could somehow give us a map of the city. Instead, it gave him a command prompt that he said was ‘corrupted’. The words on the screen were a jumbled unreadable mess, and there what looked like a yes/no option. It appears to me that I’ve already managed to break the machine, which should be to no one’s surprise seeing as even with Ichibod’s patient guidance I feel rather clueless about Blackwellian technology.

While we did this, Ichibod looked around into one of the buildings. Inside he saw a creature we didn’t recognize at first glance, until it opened the door and we saw he was a skrull. Specifically, the skrull Svevenka had told us to find: Morgive. Morgive handed Linda an ancient paper with a simple drawing of five people who bore a vague resemblance to us. He said that there was a prophecy, that we would come and save his people. He told us that his people had been enslaved by an unseen monster, and that if we could rid the underground of the monster, he would tell us how to fix the broken light bridge.

We agreed and followed Morgive into the tunnels below the streets of Xin’Shalast. Ichibod cast an arcane eye spell to try to see into the room that Morgive indicated the unseen horror would be in, but his spell was snuffed within moments of entering the room. Unae decided to take the more direct approach when magic failed, using her natural stealth to slip into the room.

Only a few moments passed before Elkin drew his blade and told us that Unae had used their telepathic link to tell them that something was talking in her mind in there. We rushed into the room, but Unae had already been grabbed and was being held prone by an invisible monster.

I immediately used the invisibility purge scroll I’d had made to force the monster to show itself. It was a decapus, a giant purple octopus with a number of spines and barbs. As we soon found out, it was also vampiric and had turned the other skrulls in Morgive’s clan into its thralls. These vampire skrulls appeared behind us, and viciously attacked Rich, leaving him badly injured.

Ichibod, Meinus, Elkin, and Linda all tried to help Unae to get the vampiric dekopus off of her, but it was deceptively fast and hardy and their attacks didn’t seem to have much effect, even when they did manage to make contact. After a moment it clicked, we’d seen this before. It had a displacement spell on it, causing us to strike at the illusion rather than the real monster.

I asked Ichibod to heal Rich for me, and for Rich to try to dispel the displacement. In the meantime, I drew forth Sarenrae’s power, calling a beam of searing light down on the vampires, causing the decapus’s skin to boil and burn.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough. Two more vampires leapt on Nel from hiding, badly injuring him. The decapus had Unae in a death grip and was slowly draining her life from her body. Even Theo using her most powerful cure magic to harm the undead creature wasn’t loosening its grip. Ichibod managed to get in a couple of shots with his rifle, and finally the vampiric monster seemed fazed. It teleported away from Unae, and cast lightning bolt at our entire group. Fortunately, despite her condition, Unae managed to dodge. Linda, Elkin, and Nel were less fortunate. Especially Nel, who was knocked back by the blast and laid on the ground. I ran to his side, fearing the worst. Fortunately, he was still alive, but he was terribly burnt and his breathing was ragged. The others were faring little better. I channeled healing energy for everyone nearby, which was enough to wake Nel, although from what I could see under his helmet he was still badly burned.

Before the vampires could take advantage of Nel’s injuries, Linda managed to slaughter one that had been flanking him, reducing it to dust. The dust cloud disappeared into the ventilation.

The minor victory was short lived, as another vampiric skrull leapt from hiding and attacked Linda in retribution. Ichibod cast scorching ray to protect his queen, and despite my advice to take a moment to heal, Nel attempted to attack the vampire as well, although he was clearly in a great deal of pain.

Before anyone could react, another vampire leapt from hiding. It jumped onto Nel’s back, and in one horrific movement it slit his throat. I pushed my way towards his body, telling the others to take care of the vampires around him so that I could try to revive him before it was too late. I cast breath of life as Linda charged in and killed one of the skrulls nearest Nel. Nel was still unconscious, until Theo swooped in and healed him as well. Nel woke up, and immediately decided it was an appropriate time for a pun: “thanks for sticking your neck out for me”. I don’t know if I was more horrified or relieved at the time. I set about helping Linda to finish off the vampires while Ichibod worked on healing Nel. While we were handling the vampiric skrulls, Unae and Elkin had taken it upon themselves to take down the decapus that had so badly injured Unae. Elkin charged the monster, only to be dominated by its mind tricks. He was about to turn his blade on Unae when in a flurry of anger, Unae rained down acid arrows on the undead monster and finally turned it to dust.

Rich grabbed our attention as I finished the final skrull, telling us that he just realized why the dust was escaping through the vents. They must have had coffins somewhere nearby, which they were fleeing to, to revitalize themselves.

I took a moment to heal Nel, telling him not to die a third time, and then prepared to try to permanently kill the vampires with my channeling magic. Unae beat me to it, however. She summoned a fire elemental and sent it into the vents, where it set the coffins ablaze and ended the vampire swarm once and for all.

With the vampires dispatched, Morgrim entered the room. He dug around the room and gave us two items which the vampires had been hording. One was a ring of invisibility and the other had a seihedron rune etched into it.

Rich tried to trick Linda into giving up the invisibility ring, claiming he had fewer magical items than he really did. When that didn’t work, he accidentally threw the ring into the vents, and Ichibod had to use magic to bring the ring to life to make it return to us, much to Linda’s horror. She gave up the living ring, despite Ichibod’s spell having a rather short time limit. However, then Unae decided to strike up a deal with Rich, trading one of her other rings for the invisibility ring, and in the process gaining both the new rings for herself. Unae is far more clever than I give her credit for…

With the treasure shenanigans behind us, Morgive lead us to another room which had a large machine, like one that might be found in Blackwell. He told us that the machine could be used to turn on the light bridges. Ichibod lit up at the prospect of tinkering with technology, and he played around with it a bit before finding that we were locked out from accessing it. The machine showed that we needed three admins to unlock it. Ichibod noted that there was a slot which matched the seihedron ring, and he prompted Unae to try to unlock it. She used the ring, and was accepted. The machine said, “Welcome Shade Huntress Shi’Alian” in response to her. I’m positive I’ve never heard the name before, and yet there’s a strangely familiar ring to it.

We found that we couldn’t cheat the system by using the same ring multiple times. However Morgrim knew where two other two rings were in the city. Or at least he had a vague idea of where they were. One was in an arena with an “evil creature like bug”, and the other was kept by “blue scalie”. We weren’t certain what the evil creature might be, but we were fairly positive that the blue scaled creature was probably a chromatic dragon, much to Linda’s delight.

We’ve called it quit for the night. With the occluding field down, I was able to take us back to my demiplane to rest for the night in our own rooms. Tomorrow we will have to track down the other two rings and try to catch up with our friends. I hope that they are doing well, and can manage to evade Narunes for the night.

[roland-terrasold-blog]

Journal 68

We’ve almost made it to Xin’Shalast. Not without some rather gruesome encounters. I thought that the worst of our troubles would be within the golden city, but the mountains outside have proven to have their own dangers.

After a number of hours aboard the Invincible, we’d almost made it to the Kodar Mountains. It was smooth failing, so to speak, until we approached the mountain range. Suddenly the ship began to malfunction. Nel said something was wrong with the navigation, and surmised that there was an occluding field surrounding the area around Xin’Shalast, which would explain why it’s been nearly impossible to find for thousands of years.

The field’s effects forced us to make a crash landing in the snow drifts at the base of the mountains. We were forced to walk the rest of the way. Ichibod was none-too-pleased to know we would be leaving behind his beloved ship. I sympathized, seeing as the Invincible was one of the few familiar things he had left from his life in Blackwell, however I reminded him that we had a door from my demiplane straight to the Invincible. We could return to get it once we’d gotten rid of the occluding field.

With a mixture of magical items and endure elements spells, we made the freezing cold weather more tolerable and forced our way forward up the mountain path. The weather soured the farther we got, until we came to a small mining hut.

It would have seemed a blessing, if it wasn’t almost immediately apparent that the damned place was haunted. The moment we approached the hut for shelter, we were attacked by a poisonous undead treant. I ended up having to destroy it with a scorching ray spell, although not before both Linda and Unae were harmed by it while attempting conventional means of attack. And with that a month of work convincing Ichibod that plants aren’t sentient and that using wood is not cruelty went out the window. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to talk sense into him about it now.

There wasn’t much time to think about it then, however. The blizzard was picking up, and despite our hesitation about the mining shack we didn’t have much choice but to get inside for shelter.

Linda suddenly charged at a sheet which was covering part of the room, claiming she saw something moving behind it, but her axe hit nothing but air. I had prepared sense undead in preparation for inevitably facing Emmery, so I used it to see if I could sense anything. What I saw was overpowering. The entire building was steeped in necrotic energy. I had a feeling in my gut that this entire building was one huge haunt, like a more extreme version of Foxglove Manor. I told the others that we likely weren’t safe here and should seek shelter elsewhere, which Unae vehemently agreed with given our past experience with haunts. Yet as we turned to leave, the door slammed shut, and couldn’t be forced open. The wind was howling outside uncontrollably. There was nothing we could do but face the haunted house head-on.

Elkin and Linda slammed through the next door, ready to fend off anything that might attack us. At first all was calm, until our entire group had entered the room. Then we saw a shadowy dwarven figure in the corner, with eyes like coal and huge gnashing teeth. The spirit was eating what looked like gold dust, which we realized was coating the floor of this room. The spirit told us to try some before vanishing, and suddenly Rich, Elkin, Ichibod, and Linda fell to their knees and ate as commanded. In horror I recognized the dust from one of Ashton’s many lectures on various poisons: arsenic. As Unae and I pulled the others away from the poison, the spirit began to reappear. We quickly retreated into the next room and slammed the door behind us. This room’s floor was blessedly free of poison, and I had a free moment to expend all of my uses of cure poison and heal to purge my friends’ bodies of the toxin. It’s fortunate how many spells I prepared for facing Emmery ended up being useful in these situations. If I hadn’t been expecting to find myself at the edge of Ashton’s scythe blade I likely wouldn’t have prepared spells specific to surviving poison, and everyone but myself and Unae may have ended up dead.

The room we’d entered was filled with a large spiral staircase going upwards, with a chain dangling down the center. We suspected all would not be as it appeared, and Elkin took the lead. As suspected, there was a trap. The floor part-way up fell from beneath Elkin’s feet, causing him to fall back to the first floor. Then the chain turned into a metal serpent, which wrapped around Elkin’s neck. I think all of us who survived Foxglove Manor flashed back to when Elkin’s neck was snapped by a haunted scarf. Unae and Linda attacked the chain, and Linda manages to cut through it, freeing Elkin.

The hole in the floor remained. Linda, Unae, and Rich managed to jump over with little trouble, while Ichibod helped me and Nel to fly over with his broom. Elkin attempted to jump over, I guess feeling too proud to accept Ichibod’s help, but his armor weighed him down and he fell to the ground floor a second time. After that he ended up accepting the help without complaint.

The next room was a crossroads with a number of other doors out. Unae managed to uncover a hidden door, and Ichibod used his magic to go through the door and get it open.

Inside was a kind of office. There was a ledger, and a number of bags of golden bars and gold dust—actual gold dust this time, not poison. Linda put away the finding in the bag of holding despite my misgivings on the possible dangers.

When he left the room, the previous one was covered in blood. Every surface was coated in red and brown viscera. And the smell…the smell was unbearable. I felt ill, and we quickly fled through the nearest door down the hallway. The door led into a bedroom, which was torn apart, with a number of strange claw marks in floor and bed. Unae went to examine the claw marks at the foot of the bed, and quickly stumbled backwards saying she saw another shadowy dwarf ghost under the bed. We quickly fled to the next room, not wanting to find out what that ghost might try to do to us after the last two encounters.

As we entered the next room, Ichibod suddenly fell unconscious, and Rich began mumbling to himself about how he “didn’t like this”. I felt a strange pang of hunger, which passed quickly and honestly I didn’t think much of until looking back.

After Ichibod fell unconscious, Unae heard a knocking at the door. She was about to turn back to go investigate when the building began shaking violently. Linda and Meinus became possessed by spirits and attacked me. Facing down Linda likely would have been the end of me, but Unae managed to cast a spell which freed Linda from the vengeful spirits’ grasp. Linda helped to hold Meinus off while I cast a spell to free him as well.

The spirits that were dispelled from their bodies joined together into the form of the shadowy dwarf we’d been seeing throughout the house: Silas Vekker. The ghost told us of a monster, which whispered in the ears of himself and his brothers, telling them in a state of starvation to eat their companions. This act cursed the place and bound their souls. The ghost warned against going to Xin’Shalast, as trying to get there is what began their misfortune.

The trapped ghost asked that we retrieve his brother Karivek’s corpse, so that they could finally be freed. He offered that if we did so, he would help us to find Xin’Shalast.

Silas directed us to where we would find his burial mound, and asked that we hurry, as he wouldn’t be able to keep his right mind for long. Although we were on a time limit, I did take a moment to heal Ichibod to the best of my ability, waking him so that we wouldn’t have to risk leaving him in the haunted house or have Linda carry him around.

The storm outside had subsided enough for us to venture out, and we found the burial mound not far from the mining shack. We found the corpse, but it had become a twisted monster with the same gnashing cannibalistic teeth we’d seen from his brother’s ghost.

Before we could act against the twisted spirit, an enormous frost worm joined as well, likely drawn in by the sound of a potential meal. Rich warned that frost worms are known to have dangerously cold blood that would freeze anything in place, and that they explode on death. With that in mind, after weakening it with some fire spells, Meinus kicked it off the side of the cliff. When we heard it hit the ground there was a rumbling far below as it did indeed explode. Safely away from us, thanks to Meinus and Rich. I’d had misgivings about bringing him along, but his knowledge helped us many times over on the mountains.

As we returned to the mineshaft with Karivek’s corpse in tow, we heard a howling in the distance. I noticed movement, and managed to spot something stalking us from afar through the quickly worsening blizzard. Rich told us to hurry, and warned he’d just realized what the howling was coming from. A wendigo: an evil spirit from another plane, which drives mortals to madness and cannibalism before transforming them into creatures like it. The same fate the Vekker brothers must have met.

We made it back to the shack and offered the body to Silas, who began the process of purifying his brother. While we waited, the wendigo which had been stalking us smashed through the wall of the building nearest Ichibod and grabbed him, dragging him outside. The monster pinned Ichibod down and used windwalk, turning them both incorporeal. We realized that it was about to take Ichibod and flee far away with its prey. Rich tried using a spell to distract the wendigo to no effect, and I attempted to dispel the windwalk ability with equal lack of success. However Ichibod somehow managed to will himself back to normal, and blasted the monster away from him. While the beast was distracted in frustration, Nel ran forward with his flaming ranseur and attacked with little regard for his own safety. The attack did little more than annoy the wendigo, who retaliated by grabbing Nel up…and ripping out both of his arms…

Somehow Nel and Rich managed to joke about it even in the moment. I know this is far from the worst Nel’s been through but…an ‘I’m disarmed’ joke…really?

Obviously he’s okay now. I managed to get to his side and quickly healed the damage, reattaching his limbs. I’m sure he had faith I would be able to, and that’s why he could joke about it. I’m still uneasy with how casual our group has gotten about horrific injuries.

I asked Nel if he would actually listen to me if I told him to stay back so I could heal him further, which Nel predictably refused, telling me that this is what Sarenrae put him back on this world to do. Regardless, I don’t feel that him throwing his life away when I can help him is a meaningful use of his second chance…

Fortunately, Nel didn’t need to go back into the fray. While I’d been healing him, Unae, Elkin, and Linda had been chipping away at the wendigo. Linda managed to get in close, and when the monster tried to bite her, she shoved her axe and its mouth and cut off a large chunk of its head. It was still alive, however. Ichibod flew in and tried to teleport the creature away, but the occluding field disrupted his magic and the wendigo grabbed him in its mouth. Before it could flee with Ichibod in tow, Linda and Elkin teamed up on the creature. Elkin leapt onto its back and stabbed it through the spine, while Linda slid under it and decapitated it as she passed.

The weather finally cleared as I took a moment to heal Ichibod’s wounds (and attempted to convince Nel to allow me to do the same, but he assured me he could heal himself if necessary).

With the wendigo slain, we returned to the building, in time to see the Vekker brothers pass on to the next life. They left behind a single wisp, which informed us of a ritual necessary to enter Xin’Shalast, and guided us to where the ritual would have to be performed.

We found ourselves at a cliff overlooking a river. With the mood finally lightened from the horrors of the day, Elkin and Unae took this time to play a prank on Rich, scaring him into thinking Unae had fallen off the side of the cliff into the water far below. I admit to joining in when Elkin asked if it looked like there was an elf-shaped smudge on the ground below. Unae then snuck up behind Rich to surprise him. Perhaps it was a bit juvenile of us, but I think we all needed something to lighten up after the multiple close calls.

We each made our way down the cliff in our own manner. Ichibod helped ferry people down on his broom, while I decided to use angelic aspect to fly down myself. I know I shouldn’t use my magic for frivolous reasons, but I must admit flying is a great deal of fun when it’s not in combat. If I had a means of flying that did not require the use of Sarenrae’s gift, I would likely get a great deal of use out of it. I wonder if Ichibod would be able to make something? That will be a question for after we’ve made it out of Xin’Shalast alive.

The wisp had told us that we would need to fast for three days prior to a full moon, and that the way to Xin’Shalast would open for us. The next full moon is in a week’s time. We found a small (not haunted) hut off the edge of the river, which we’ll use for this week of preparation. I have an idea to test out after we’ve found the entrance and can break the fast. I have a spell called hero’s feast, which I believe will be a good way to start things off before we reach the golden city. But all of that in due time. For now, a week of rest and preparation.

[roland-terrasold-blog]

Journals 62-67

The party remained in Sandpoint for another month, waiting for some custom winter gear to be imported to them to help them survive the harsh environment around Xin’Shalast. This post will be for random journal snippets from this month as the mood strikes me. Some known events include: Ichibod and Roland see a magic show, Ichibod attempts to cook a homemade dinner for Roland, Elkin and Roland talk and things become less awkward between them,  Roland and Linda further planning their outpost, Roland speaking to Nel about Emmery, and a list of bad jokes Rich has told in the last month

[roland-terrasold-blog]

Journal 61

The rest of today has been…interesting. I don’t feel as bad as I did this morning, although it will take quite a bit more time before I can say I truly feel better. After I finished my last entry, I ran into Ichibod outside, and we worked out some of our problems. And he had a bit of a revelation for me. Also Linda picked up another new member for our group, a comedian/Thassalonian enthusiast named Rich. Like I said. It’s been an interesting day.

After my last entry I went outside to get some fresh air. Instead, I found Ichibod in the form of a young woman reading under one of the trees, recognizable only by Ichibod’s signature color scheme. He noticed me before I could retreat back into the mansion to avoid him.

Without prompting, he began lamenting how horrible he was, how he would leave with Timmy and never be in our way again, and how he was nothing but a burden. I…lost my temper. I don’t think anyone has managed to push me to that since Ashton…and I suppose Emmery more recently. I was angry that he’d put me in a position where I was already rightfully upset with him, and I would have to comfort him or have him leave in a fit of self pity.

I told him everyone in our group had made mistakes or broken the group apart before he showed up. Every single one of us has a long history of screwing up in one way or another. And I told him that we're all in over our heads, not just him. We’re making up most of this as we go along, and hoping everything goes well. That is the honest truth of it all. I told him that if any of us look like we actually know what we're doing, it's only because we know a Rune Lord is pulling the strings and we don't have any choice but to play along. Because otherwise he's going to kill everyone we care about, everyone we might care about in the future, and probably destroy everything we are as people for good measure. The rest of us know we’re seeing this through to the end whether we like it or not, and considering Ichibod’s awakening, I told him that he was in the same boat, whether he could bring himself to be a part of our group or not. I may have gone a little too far at the end. I told him that he could still leave after hearing all this is he wanted, but that he would be putting his son in a hell of a lot more danger if he did. I never would have dragged Ichibod’s son into it any other time, but I was quite literally seeing red at the moment.

Regardless, it appears lashing out snapped Ichibod out of his mood. He admitted that he’s been acting recklessly, and not taking his new responsibility seriously enough. After this we were able to actually talk about our issues like adults. It will still take some time before I can forgive Ichibod for what he did. I do think that breaking up with Elkin was for the best, since we wanted different things out of our relationship. But I wish I could have had that conversation with Elkin on my own terms, rather than because of Ichibod’s drunken confessions. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed anything. Maybe I would have still broken Elkin’s heart, and I would still feel like a monster who hurts everyone they love. But at least if it had been on my own terms I could have tried to make it go better, rather than the jumbled mess that last night was.

Ichibod and I parted ways, but not before one final exchange that I’m still not entirely sure what to do with in my current state of mind. Ichibod admitted, in a roundabout way, that he had feelings for me, and that this had an effect on how he’d been acting.

I know all too well how those feelings can gnaw at you, and how hard it is to get rid of them once they’re there.

I cannot return those feelings. Not right now, at least. I’m still upset over what happened with Elkin, but that may pass in time. I don’t hate Ichibod, although I hope the fallout of his actions will help him to learn to stop and think before he acts in the future. I also don’t know him that well, he’s only been with our little group for about half a month at most. So I told him I could make no promises, but that maybe after everything was said and done with Xin’Shalast, we could get to know each other better.

I have no intention of jumping straight into anything right after everything that just happened. Especially not with Ichibod, and especially not after how things ended with Elkin. Like I told Elkin, I need to work out my own issues before I even consider having a relationship, with anyone. And I’m standing by that.

Ichibod seemed more than happy with this answer, and we parted on decent terms. Elkin will probably hate me for it, but it’s difficult to stay mad at Ichibod for long.

Despite my earlier intentions to avoid the rest of the group, I somehow got roped into breakfast with the others. The atmosphere was awkward, to say the least, which Linda quickly and none-too-subtly pointed out. Elkin told her that we’d worked out some “emotional shit” and that it wouldn’t get in the way of our job if that’s what she was worried about. I left not long afterwards, unable to stand the atmosphere I’d helped to create…

I spent most of the rest of the day making some plans with Molderoc. I had some ideas for work the various members of the faith might be able to help with while I was gone. I wanted to split them into two groups, one which could go to Magnamar and see if we could get any leads on where Cardinal Zalbrag’s brother had escaped to. Our group had inadvertently let him escape, it seemed like a nice show of good faith if I could help finally bring him to justice after everything his actions had put the Cardinal through. I also was hoping that some members who were here to help might know something about the arcane or Ancient Thassalon. I want to find a way to permanently destroy the Rune Wells, so that once we finish in Xin’Shalast, nothing like the tragedies that have befallen Sandpoint will happen ever again.

It was a productive day, and helped to clear my mind tremendously. Eventually I returned home, and I found the atmosphere greatly improved in the strangest manner. Linda had met a member of the Junior Pathfinders Association, a comedian and bard named Rich. Rich also doubles as a historian, with a keen interest in Ancient Thassalon, to the point he even knows Thassalonian. Unlike the rest of us, who just somehow understand it when spoken. He doesn’t understand why that may be, either, but it will be good to have someone who legitimately knows the language and a little more about the places we’ll be venturing into. More importantly, from his studies he’s narrowed down where Xin’Shalast may be, and can help guide us there.

However, I am a bit worried about the idea of bringing him. It’s been difficult enough keeping Ichibod alive after he was dragged into this, and Rich likely isn’t some hidden sixth member of the group who will awaken eventually. He’s just a regular guy who we’re about to lead into an incredibly dangerous situation. Rich has said that this is an opportunity of a lifetime he’s willing to risk his life for, but I question if he really understands what he’s getting himself into. He looks…frail, to say the least. Not the adventuring type. But the others are in agreement, he wants to go, and he really does seem to help us all lighten up. So I will just stay nearby and try to be certain he makes it out of this alive.

[roland-terrasold-blog]

Journal 60

I just had a horrific nightmare. I was facing a tiefling who looked like Elkin, but much taller and with exaggerated demonic features. I couldn’t call on my magic, and my sword was useless next to his strength. The tiefling’s blade was swathed in black flames, and it pierced my check, right where my old scar is. He mocked me, saying he expected more of the Crimson Wyvern. When he pulled out the sword, my heart was pierced on the end of it. I fell, dying, and then woke.

I cannot go back to sleep, and that dream seems to be a sign that I’m not handling my current feelings well. Go figure. Hopefully writing them down will help me to put some of my guilt and rage to rest. Or at least exhaust me enough to sleep.

Yesterday was the day of the festival. It should have been a wonderful day of celebration and camaraderie, commemorating a year spent with my friends and the prosperity Sandpoint has found because of us. And for much of the day it was just that. But I will always remember the day with a sour taste in my mouth after what happened yesterday evening. I know I’ve been trying to keep this journal from diving too much into my personal drama, but as this is as much a personal journal as it is a travel journal today’s entry will be very personal. I need to get my thoughts on paper, and maybe then I can quit feeling the hurricane of emotions that were stirred up last night and finally get some rest.

As I said before, much of the day went as expected. We road in a parade for the town to see, which took us to the town square where we all met the year before in the goblin attack. Things were set up much like they had been back then, only this time we were the ones giving the speeches. Each of us had something different to impart to the town, from Linda talking about how people could learn to rely on themselves when we weren’t there, to Unae talking about how ordinary people could become extraordinary, and Ichibod following up with a speech about how it’s okay to be an ordinary person and just live life as well. Elkin finished off, and then the town revealed the two art pieces that Unae had commissioned. Ichibod’s was an amazing piece of him, surrounded by snippets of time that depicted our group’s many adventures, with his own transformation from guard to witch in the center of them all.

Elkin’s was an accurate depiction of him, finally, with his shield raised defensively. There was a red string tied around his arm, which connected him to a depiction of Unae behind him, bow at the ready. Perfectly in sync. Perfectly connected.

I felt sick. And I felt disgusted with myself for feeling sick. It had been gnawing at me for some time now, but this depiction only cemented everything I’d been feeling. Everyone in town could tell that Elkin and Unae had deep feelings for each other, even as Unae played at being oblivious to it (sometimes, and then others she made it painfully clear how she felt). And yet Elkin and I have been close for some time now. I love him. I adore him. I was ready to throw away all connection to the Church and be branded a heretic for him. And in private I can believe he feels the same. When it’s just me and him, when we talk and spend time together, I know his feelings are as real as mine. Yet in public he barely looks at me. When Unae is around she’s all he focuses on. Everyone knows how they feel for each other, even when I’m the one who swore to be by his side always.

Always…

Sarenrae help me. I am terrible. Ashton, Elkin, I promise the people I love my entire life and then I break their hearts.

Much of the rest of the festival was spent in a haze, playing the part but no longer feeling up for the party. I challenged Linda to a poker rematch after I’d so thoroughly won last year, but she got her retribution this year as my head was so out of the game I couldn’t seem to keep my poker face up. Afterwards the two of us went to the Rusty Dragon, where the rest of our group had already gathered. Linda lamented that Ameiko couldn’t be here, to really make it just like old times.

This gave me an idea, and we used a Sending spell to try to contact our friends. Ameiko responded that they were “on the fire plane, on fire, fighting a flame giant, but otherwise doing quite well”. For obvious reasons, Unae was upset with this news and stormed off to practice her archery. The rest of us remained in the Rusty Dragons. For a little while we spent time reminiscing and generally enjoying the evening.

Then Ichibod had to butt in.

If that witch doesn’t ever get drunk again it will be too soon given what he put me through last night. Much like Ashton, Ichibod has an incredibly low tolerance for alcohol, and unlike Ashton he doesn’t know to just quit trying. So he ended up so drunk he probably doesn’t even remember how much he screwed me over.

He was talking loudly to Elkin, and at first I wasn’t paying much attention to what was being said. That was until I heard my own name, and inevitably began listening in. Just in time to hear him talking about Elkin and Unae’s relationship. Because that’s just what I wanted to think about then. And it got worse. Ichibod began talking about my relationship with Elkin as well, and in front of everyone told Elkin that I was clearly jealous and unhappy with whatever he had going with Unae as well.

Even now, I have a whirlwind of emotions over what happened. I’m angry that Ichibod spilled all of this to Elkin, especially in front of the entire tavern. I’m hurt that my feelings were obvious enough for Ichibod to pick up on and yet my friends I’ve been with for nearly a year didn’t notice anything. I’m even more hurt that Linda proclaimed shock that Elkin and I were in a relationship right afterwards, reinforcing all the sick jealous thoughts I’d had all day about Unae and Elkin.

Elkin hugged me and apologized, then left the tavern, leaving me with the awkward choice of whether to run after him or leave him to his own devices. I, perhaps foolishly, chose the former.

Elkin and I talked at home. I don’t want to get into the entire conversation. I was a mess and an idiot and I have no idea how to handle fucking relationships and I should just stop. I shouldn’t have started this relationship with Elkin. Not when I did, at least. When Elkin kissed me on the ship, I was a mess. I was broken and hurting and willing to cling to anything that would give me some stability. I should have talked to Elkin more. I should have learned what he wanted from our relationship, and realized it wasn’t the same as what I wanted. I should have taken time to work through my own issues. Instead I may have just dragged Elkin down with me.

I told Elkin everything I just wrote and then some. I told him that we would have been better off if we’d just been friends this entire time. That Unae and Elkin would be happier if I stepped out of the way. It kills me to even write it. I want to be with Elkin. I don’t want to break his heart. If I could smother this jealousy that’s been burning away at me, believe me I would in a heartbeat. But I just can’t.

Something I loved about Ashton was that no matter what else I could say about him, he was incredibly loyal and dedicated. I don’t think looking at another person ever crossed his mind. I never even knew I was a jealous person until I had to try to sort out my feelings about Unae. I hope that once things have settled down, if I can find a way to move on, perhaps I will be able to feel like Unae is a friend again.

I didn’t sleep much last night. It’s a blessing that I sold that damnable dagger, it was hard enough to keep myself from bloodying the Suzaku blade in my haze. The dagger would have seen use, and I almost can’t find fault in that right now.

I need fresh air. The sun is just rising. If I go out soon I can avoid the others. I need to find something productive to do. Something that doesn’t involve any of them. I don’t want their questions right now, nor their scorn or pity.

[roland-terrasold-blog]

Journal 59

Yesterday morning Ichibod returned, in the middle of more pancake shenanigans. In another sugar high, Unae covered Linda in syrup, and Elkin and Linda had to grapple the childish elf girl, with Elkin finally dragging her off to her room to calm down. Ichibod didn’t seem to be in the mood to talk, something about wherever he’d gone seemed to have upset him.

Since there was nothing he would let me do for him, I left the ship, intending to go to the temple to pray and clear my mind. I was a bit anxious, honestly. While discussing the parade the other day, it came up that the townsfolk were expecting us to give speechs. I am not good with crowds at the best of times, and due to my new position as bishop I couldn’t decline, as much as I wanted to. I didn’t feel that someone like me should have the position I now hold, much less giving advice to the masses. But this is the path I walk for the Dawnflower. When I finally got a chance to clear my mind and pray, I came to the conclusion that regardless of whether I asked for the position or not I had a responsibility now, not just to the church and Sarenrae, but to anyone who might follow my example. I’ve made many mistakes in my life, and if there’s one thing I can do, it’s leads others that they won’t fall onto the same path I once walked.

I didn’t get the chance to come to this conclusion until today, however. On the way to the temple, I was stopped by Sheriff Hemlock. He told me that a large encampment of people had set up outside of town, wanting to ‘pledge themselves’ to myself and Linda. I returned to the ship to fetch Linda, and the two of us went to see what the commotion was.

As it turned out, a large mercenary band had camped out by town, wishing to follow the new queen of Blackwell. Their leader, a half-orc named Vindarian, met with Linda when we approached. With them an even larger congregation of pilgrims and followers of the Dawnflower’s path had arrived in Sandpoint wanting to pledge themselves to ‘Sarenrae’s chosen’.

Sarenrae help me, this is all too much.

I admit to being less than eloquent talking with their leader, a dwarven cleric named Molderoc who had broken off from Zalbrag’s congregation after everything that happened in the last week. I was stunned and honestly had no idea what to ask of an entire congregation of followers. I hardly knew what to do when Nel pledged himself to my cause. I didn’t want to shun them, I wanted to live up to their expectations, but I hardly know any official church doctrine outside of what I’ve read from the Light and Truth. And quite honestly I’m accustomed to doing whatever I need done myself, not having others do it for me.

Whatever else I might think of Zalbrag or the way he originally acted towards us, he wasn’t wrong that I was in no way prepared to have a high position in the faith.

Fortunately, Linda is much more comfortable in the role of leader than I am. She pulled me aside and we discussed what we could accomplish with such a large following. We came to the conclusion that we could have an official embassy built for Blackwell, and it could double as a temple for pilgrimages, a place of learning for Blackwellians like Ichibod who might be interested in learning more about the gods, and so forth. I could kiss her for the clever idea, if I wouldn’t mind getting my head removed from my shoulders afterwards, of course.

The two of us met with Lord Grabanath, to discuss the possibility of building an outpost as a halfway point between Magnamar and Sandpoint, which could house the embassy. Magnamar’s lord mayor agreed, with the stipulation that he wanted the rights to our group’s images and stories for his merchandising ventures. We were promised a decent cut in return, and he swore not to let something like the slander against Elkin happen again. I’d honestly rather return to obscurity myself, but seeing as that’s impossible at this point, this sounded like a good deal. Linda and I promised him an answer tomorrow, so that we’d have time to run it by the rest of the group.

Linda asked me to pass on the request to the group while she handled some business of her own. We’d learned from Lord Grabanath that Clyde would be hosting a tournament in the near future in Magnamar, and Linda had been eager to find a way in to spite the crime lord. I don’t know if her business had anything to do with that, but I wouldn’t doubt it.

I returned to the ship and discussed the proposition with the rest of the group, who readily agreed to the lord mayor’s deal. Afterwards, however, Ichibod pulled me aside. He told me a little about what happened to him while he’d been gone. I won’t write the specifics here, as much of it is Ichibod’s personal business. However the end result was that he wanted me to cast detect evil on his son, to make sure the boy wasn’t being used as a spy for Karvoug and Mary. I agreed to my friend’s request, and used the spell. As with all children, his moral code wasn’t quite set in stone yet. He had no greater draw towards good or evil, chaos or lawfulness, than any other child. I reassured Ichibod that he had nothing to fear, and that his son was simply a child caught up in all of this.

While the rest of the group went about their own business, Ichibod was excited to share an idea he had with me. He’d gotten the tablet Linda used in Blackwell and somehow modified it so that it wasn’t stuck only showing the journal as it once did. He only needed to find a way to modify it so that it would run off of an energy source we had access to, and it would be a useful tool for our group. I suggested that perhaps Anders would know of a way to modify the technology with magic, considering that the eccentric magic user had his fingers in a number of magical and alchemical experiments.

Anders, it turned out, did have an idea on how to fix the machine, and told us it would take him a day to complete.

In the meantime, Ichibod wanted to spend a night on the town. I don’t know why I trusted the witch’s judgment in tavern, but we somehow found ourselves in a shady looking bar called the “Gobblin’ Goblin”. Everyone there seemed friendly, if a bit rowdy, at least. Although they became convinced, despite my protests, that Ichibod and I were an item. It was awkward and embarrassing until the second or third drink. We played some games, of which Ichibod knew none, but he still somehow managed to have a good time and made friends with the other patrons. I think they liked that he kept losing my money to them.

When the bar closed I probably helped to carry Ichibod home. I don’t really remember how we got back. That’s twice now. I might need to cut back a little. It was a fun evening, at least, and I’m glad that Ichibod is warming up to local forms of entertainment.

This morning Ichibod and I returned to Anders to procure the tablet we’d left with him. As promised, he’d worked out a way for the tablet to be recharged via magic rather than the Blackwellian energy sources. Ichibod showed me how to take pictures with it and how to use it to keep a journal without having to carry around books, quills, and ink. This will likely be the final handwritten entry. A shame considering I just bought this journal. More impressive, however, is another modification Anders made to it, which allows it to store a number of my arcane spells in the tablet, freeing up my daily casting ability slightly. As confusing and strange as many of the Blackwellian technologies are, there are some honest wonders as well. I can see why Ichibod likes them so much.

In a more horrifying variation of technology, however, when we got back home Ichibod and Linda got together and got it into their heads that Ichibod should graft metal under Linda’s skin. I had to stand by while Nemo put Linda to sleep and cut her open for surgery. For some reason Elkin and Unae came in to watch as well. I felt sick at the sight of her chest opened up, and metal being grafted into her. I only remained in the room because they needed me around to heal Linda afterwards, and because I wanted to be close in case anything went wrong (which blessedly it didn’t).

This will likely add to my nightmares tenfold, thanks Ichibod.

After this…event…I finally found time to visit Father Zantas to thank him for helping Ichibod and Elkin the other day. I also took some time to pray, to give thanks to Sarenrae that the events of the last few days had finally passed, and that all had ended for the better.

Finally given some quiet time to think, I felt calmer about my new role, and the upcoming festival. I returned home to work on writing my upcoming speech, which I will include below.

“I am Roland Terrasold, of the church of Sarenrae. You all have heard my title by now I'm sure. The Transcendent Sinner. I don't know how much of my story has become public knowledge at this point, but I will say that while I have tried to better myself, I am a deeply flawed man with many regrets. If you had told me a year ago, when I first came to Sandpoint, that I would someday be part of a group hailed as heroes for our actions, I would have laughed at the idea. I wouldn't have believed it possible, I would have told you 'you must have the wrong person'.

“For many years I let regrets shackle me, and it made me believe I couldn't make a positive impact on this world. I had chosen to follow Sarenrae's path, but I hadn't truly embraced her teachings, as far as forgiveness for one's self. Yet here I stand, one year later, alongside my friends in a town whose fate was changed by our actions. I'm not here to preach to you, I know that this town has a diverse set of beliefs and I hope the message I want to impart can be relevant everyone, be you a follower of the Dawnflower, Desna, Caden Kalen, or no god at all. If I would want you to take anything away from my story, it's this. Don't let past mistakes and regrets be your shackles. Learn from them, so you won't repeat them. Let them motivate you to become a better person each day. But don't let them hold you back. No matter how dark of a place you find yourself in, keep moving forward. Because someday when you look around you'll find yourself surrounded not by the regrets of the past, but by those impacted by your present actions. If anyone out there is currently in a dark place, I especially hope my words reach you. The sun will rise anew, each day. There is always hope for something better. Thank you and Sarenrae bless you.”

[roland-terrasold-blog]

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Original lineart by Ichibod’s player @sicklollipop, coloring by me.

[roland-terrasold-blog]

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[roland-terrasold-blog]

sorry for the long hiatus, working on five or six more journal entries coming up. In the meantime, I’m going to do an art dump in a few minutes because I got a new coloring program and finally scanned a bunch of my pathfinder pictures.

[roland-terrasold-blog]

Journal 58

As I said at the end of my previous entry, after our night of revelry, a number of our group experienced another strange vision. Elkin, Linda, Unae, Ichibod, and myself appeared in a strange grey field, where a golden hooded figure appeared before us. He gave each of us a test. First, the being spoke to me, asking what I would do when I finally had to face Emmery. I hesitated, and told him I would do whatever was necessary. That answer was unsatisfactory. Too vague. It didn’t carry with it any honest resolve. The figure voiced his disappointment, then an illusion of Emmery formed before the being, and brought down Ashton’s scythe across my chest. For a moment I was in blinding pain, my body torn nearly through the center. Then I was back to normal, doubled over before the golden figure. The pain lingered, as if a hot blade had been run across my chest.

It was difficult to focus on the rest of the vision, but I will document what I remember. When I fell, Linda charged the figure. Because of course she did, even if she were completely outmatched Linda has never been one to let her friends suffer in silence. Her axe came down on the figure, but the golden being caught her axe with ease, holding the blade in his palm with no sign of pain. It asked her the next question, what she would do as the leader of Blackwell, and what she would do if another challenged her. Linda told him that she would do everything in her power to make her people strong, and that she would knock down any who attempt to dethrone her, because she sincerely has her people’s best interests at heart. The figure sounded impressed by her conviction, he withdrew from her blade and told her that he hoped history would remember her well.

Seconds after the figure stepped away from Linda, Elkin charged the being. He was stopped mid-movement. The being sounded unimpressed again, saying that Elkin hadn’t unlocked everything about himself. With a flash of magic, Elkin was thrown backwards. Even from where I was I could hear some of his bones give a sickening snap as he hit the ground.

Unae spoke next. The figure asked her what she’s fighting for, and what she’ll do if her own family strands in the way of her happiness. Unae, in the coldblooded manner she’s been picking up recently, told the figure that she hopes they never have to find out, because it will end badly. The figure claimed to like her conviction but doesn’t seem to believe it will last, as the figure formed a large demonic hand and attacks her, much as the vision of Emmery did to me.

Finally, the figure approached Ichibod. I hadn’t noticed in my pain until I got a look at the witch’s face, but he looked shocked and terrified. The golden being doesn’t speak a word that I could hear, but instead begins filling Ichibod will magic. More than his body could handle, so that his entire form was literally ripping at the seams, a light pouring out of him.

Before the gruesome fight resolved, we all woke up. Most of us were still at the table where we’d passed out the night before. Ichibod fled the room in a panic, and Unae was nowhere to be found. Elkin and the others went to find Unae, while I tried to find Ichibod.

He was in his son’s room, watching over the child protectively. He told me that after the vision, he’s realized how unprepared he is for what the future will hold with our group. He confided in me that the being in our vision was his patron, and that he needs to go somewhere to meet this being to better prepare for the dangers that lie ahead. He set up a protective spell, which trapped Timmy in time so that he would peacefully sleep through Ichibod’s absence, never needing to know his father left even temporarily. Then he asked that I explain to the others, so that he won’t have to tell each person individually that he’s leaving.

After I told the rest of the group what had happened, we each went about our day. I set aside some time to sell a number of items I didn’t need, in hopes of raising enough for a healing wand. The vision of Emmery shook me a little, I admit. I’ve come to realize that if anything were to happen to me at her hands, the rest of the group will be left without my magic to protect them. Nel and Unae have a little healing, but if I die while we’re facing whatever horrors are waiting in Xin’Shalast…I fear the others’ talents will not be enough to help stave off the kinds of injuries, both physical and mental, that might be inflicted on them. As such I bought a wand to entrust with Ichibod, should the worst come to pass…

In my search for a wand, I found myself at a newly build tower, belonging to Unae’s ex-fiancé Anders. Linda arrived at the same time, looking for someone to help enchant an item for her new crown. Anders did not have any prepared wands I could buy, and I feared waiting a month might not be an option, so it was a waste of time on my part. Linda had better results, as she asks Anders to revive and magically crystalize the flower crown Unae gave her in the early days of our adventures, which Linda had long since pressed and preserved. This symbol of innocence, hope, and kindness would be the core of the Blackwellian queen’s new crown. It is a beautiful idea.

Afterwards Linda and I went to the Rusty Dragon, to meet with a bard named Tigerian Bethesdan, who wished to hear our stories to add to his tales. There we met with Unae and Elkin, who had been doing who-knows-what together for the past few hours…

Bethesdan was a charismatic man, a trait that I suppose is necessary for a bard. He bought us a round of drinks and listened to our tales. Linda took the lead in storytelling, but would often slip into absurd embellishments, prompting me or Unae to occasionally correct her in our own ways. Then Bethesdan was kind enough to share with us one of his own adventures, involving the crystalline heart of a long forgotten sapphire dragon and a powerful lich.

As we talked, I noticed that Elkin was favoring his back, as though he were in pain. I offered him healing, but there were no visible or internal injuries to heal. As I tried to consider any other causes, I felt a painful twinge in my chest, right where I’d been attacked in the dream. Again, there were no visible wounds, but I know what I felt. What I don’t know is what it might mean…

[roland-terrasold-blog]

Journal 57

I am, quite often, an over dramatic fool. It would seem my last entry was an example of this. All is well. Our group feels closer than it has since before Runeforge. Elkin especially seems to be in a better mood than I’ve seen him since…maybe ever. I’m finally feeling that celebratory mood we should have had since freeing Blackwell and returning to Sandpoint. It was a long and messy process, but it looks like our little family has patched things up. I’m glad.

Let me start from the beginning, however. I left off after Elkin left the group, with Linda fuming, Unae hurt, Ichibod concerned, and myself guilt-ridden. We decided that before we figured out what to do about the Elkin situation, we first needed to figure out how to put out the pillar of fire just outside of the town’s walls. After some attempts to put it out or dispel it, we realized that this wasn’t just a pillar of flames, but was actually a portal. Into hell. Right outside of Sandpoint. I can understand why Hemlock always looks so grouchy whenever he sees us.

Linda and I figured that Amara was our best bet to close the portal, and we returned to town to see if we could track her down. Unfortunately, all that our questioning got us was a lead that she probably teleported herself to a demiplane of her own. And that she may have been drunk. Linda told me that she would keep an eye on the portal to make sure nothing dangerous could get out of it, and in the meantime I would get some rest and prepare a sending spell to try to contact Amara in the morning.

So I returned to the demiplane and wrote the entry before this one. After that last part, my mind was in a haze of guilt and self-hatred. I did something I regret. Something I knew better than to do. I took a dagger to my skin and carved open all of my old scars, as a twisted kind of penance for my mistakes. As if Elkin would want that. As if Sarenrae would want that. I knew better. I knew in my head that Elkin would be upset if he ever found out. But I just couldn’t seem to stop myself. I felt numb and stretched thin, and I knew that the dagger would feel real, it would be something I could latch onto while everything else swam in my fucked up emotions. I don’t know why I do this. I know that the others would be disappointed in me if they found out. I know that I need to be stronger than this. But sometimes I just can’t.

I eventually bandaged the cuts and went to bed. I didn’t heal the wounds with Sarenrae’s power for a number of reasons. I didn’t feel like my injuries were worth her power. I felt like it would defeat the purpose of cutting the scars open. I felt it would be disrespectful to hurt myself and then use her power to heal it. I felt like I needed to suffer. I had a number of reasons, but none of them were good reasons.

The next morning, I found a single white feather on my bedside table, identical to the one I’d found after fighting the mummy some time ago. When I picked it up I had a sense that someone was trying to reach out to comfort me. I assume that both times I was visited by the celestial that the Manipulator had held hostage, whom she’d promised to free if we defeated the mummy and retrieved her scrolls for her. I deeply appreciate their concern, although I’m admittedly embarrassed that they’re aware of my moments of weakness. Perhaps someday I’ll meet this celestial in person and can thank them properly for looking out for me twice now.

At the time I felt conflicted, however. I didn’t feel worth the celestial’s notice. I felt like a waste of their time. I felt lowly for being so weak. I felt like I had to force myself to be stronger, to put back on the mask of ‘everything’s fine’ that I so often wear. If this being was trying to comfort me, I had to force myself to move forward, to not waste their efforts. I was clearly not in the best mindset. I think the first thing I’d do if I meet this celestial is apologize for taking their attempt to help me in such a negative direction.

After I did my morning meditations and prayers, my head had cleared slightly. I attempted to contact Amara with the sending spell I prepared. I told her in so many words that there was a portal to hell outside the city, and that I needed to meet with her. Then I awaited a reply. I sat in silence for many minutes, until suddenly a written message appeared for me. All it had were two symbols. Not even letters. Just a colon and the end of a parenthesis. I was baffled, uncertain if this was some kind of code, if Amara was still drunk and did the sending wrong, or if she was simply messing with my head. Amara told me later that it was supposed to be a smile, turned sideways.

:) …I guess I see it…

Frustrated with the waste of time and magic this entire endeavor had been, I decided to go downstairs. I could smell food cooking, and it turned out that Nel and Meinus had made pancakes for the rest of us. An even more welcome sight was Elkin, outside of his room and in a surprisingly chatty mood. He was encouraging Unae to eat the pancakes, which were apparently giving her a severe sugar high (to the point that she ran around playing with the animals outside until she passed out). Linda was also there, but she passed out almost immediately after I got downstairs. Apparently she’d really stayed up all night outside the hell portal.

Elkin offered me a large mug of wine. I was confused by the complete change in his mood but gladly accepted. After Unae passed out from the sugar high and Elkin returned from taking her to her room to sleep it off, I asked Elkin if he was really doing alright. I didn’t know if he’d just decided to go back to completely burying his feelings like he had been when we first met or what, but this was such a huge change from his stormy mood the last few days that I didn’t know how to take it.

Elkin explained that while he’d spent time with his new friends, the tieflings Gortus and Gurnak, they’d told him about the god Cayden Cailean. Elkin’s decided that he wants to embrace the philosophy of the god of freedom. I asked him to tell me a bit about Cayden Cailean, as I’m less familiar with him than many of the other gods. He’s apparently one of the rare gods who ascended from being mortal after passing the trials of the Starstone, and he encourages freedom and an adventurous spirit. He lacks a true holy text, and his temples are various taverns set up by the faithful. He sounds like a very different god than Sarenrae or Desna, but not in a bad way. Seeing how much more cheerful Elkin’s been this past day I heartily encourage his newfound faith.

Elkin apologized for how he’d reacted the day before, although I feel his frustration with us was justified. I apologized for making such a mess of things and for hurting him, however unintentionally it may have been. Elkin told me not to worry about it, and that he shouldn’t have expected us to be perfect in such a strenuous situation. I’m glad that Elkin is feeling better and isn’t holding any of what transpired against us, yet I still feel bad for how I handled the situation. I wish I could think of some way to make it up to him.

In the meantime, Elkin had decided to see how far he could push his good cheer, and decided to prank Linda since she’d fallen asleep on the kitchen table. He put a glob of syrup on Linda’s hands and stuck them to the table. Normally I wouldn’t likely encourage this, especially after Linda stayed up all night keeping watch so the town would be safe. But Elkin’s good mood was infectious and it was so good to see him feeling better that I let it get the better of me.

Afterwards we both decided to hightail it out of the kitchen before she woke up, as neither of us wanted to face her wrath upon discovering the prank. As we made to leave the demiplane, who should show up but Amara? My old friend told me that she would be able to close the portal into Hell, no problem. Except that she wanted to go through it first, because she needed to catch up with Bulba and the other Pathfinders. And she also needed money for her expedition, so she’d have to settle affairs in town before she’d be willing to help. I was set to be frustrated with her flippant disregard for the potential danger of having a portal to Hell wide open outside a city, when she mentioned that we could help to expedite things. She offered me a number of powerful magical items which would be incredibly useful on our own expedition. They were expensive, but less expensive than they would have been if it was someone other than Amara selling them. And some of them were absurdly useful. My personal favorite being a Ring of the Ecclesiarch, which I’ve replaced my ring of protection with. I think I’ll see if Elkin would like the ring of delayed doom, considering how often he’s been hit with mind effecting spells. There’s also a ring of spell storing, which I’m going to fill with some of the arcane spells I like. I also asked Amara if she could make some scrolls for me, so that I could cast invisibility purge and true sight without always preparing them. Considering how badly things would have ended without Cardinal Zalbrag the other day, I’m not taking my chances with invisible enemies ever again.

Amara seemed pleased with the transaction, and joked she’d throw in closing the portal to Hell for free (at least I hope she’s joking that she even considered charging for that). As a parting gift I also gave her the cloak of bones that I’d found the first time our group was in Sandpoint. I don’t have a use for it, and I suspect it’ll help Amara in her research, if “Stumpy” is any indication of her current line of research.

By now, she’s probably in Hell and the portal is closed. I hope she’ll be alright. She can be frustrating and infuriating sometimes, but she’s also a dear friend. I know she’s a powerful magic user and I’m sure she knows what she’s doing, but she has such a habit of following whatever little whim she has that I fear she may find herself in over her head one of these days.

Regardless, there’s nothing I can do to help her now. I have to hope she and the Pathfinder Association have things under control, because we have our own venture to return to soon.

By the time I was done talking with Amara, Unae had woken up and Ichibod had come down to the entryway to join us. Unae decided that Elkin needed some new clothes. It’s true, for basically the first time Elkin was walking around without his heavy armor on, and the clothing he typically wore underneath were in tatters. Ichibod and I tagged along. I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts after the night before, and Ichibod I think just likes the company and spending time with us.

We made our way to a clothing shop that I believe was in town even before the recent expansion. Unae found some nice daily clothes for Elkin, and picked out a breathtaking dress for herself designed to emulate Desna. I bought some clothes Ichibod picked out for Timmy after we remembered that he had basically no funds of his own. I also bought some robes for myself. Something formal, but not so much as the clothes I’d worn the day before. Really, all I wanted was to buy some basic tunics for daily wear, but I guess I do need to look the part of a bishop now, and the shop didn’t sell the more simple garments I was interested in. The colors are right for it, at least.

Afterwards I split off from the others. They planned to go to a blacksmith to buy armor and new under-armor for Elkin, while I still wanted to go to another clothing store to buy some regular tunics. I spent some time browsing on my own and found a couple of outfits that were to my liking.

Looking back, going by myself defeated the purpose of wanting to spend time with the others to keep from being alone with my own thoughts, but by this point I was thoroughly distracted, so whatever works I suppose.

I returned to the demiplane and changed into one of my new outfits. Despite having to see my bandaged scars to change clothes, having a new outfit did help me to feel marginally better in a way.

Afterwards I went outside with the intention of watching the ocean waves for a bit, but as I left the ship I saw Ichibod approaching with the wheelbarrow of scrap metal, which he was struggling to push. I offered to lend him a hand, which he readily agreed to. I was more than happy to help, as I told Ichibod, I’d prepared the perfect spell which was going to go to waste otherwise.

I cast plane shift, teleporting myself, Ichibod, and the wheelbarrow directly into Ichibod’s room in the demiplane. Ichibod was a bit giddy afterwards, and his mood was infectious. Teleporting in this manner was actually a fun experience. Not like some dimension jumping experiences I could mention and wish I could forget.

Ichibod began fiddling with his scrap metal and we chatted for some time. He showed me a machine he’d brought with him that could help him to perform surgeries and allowed him to create pieces of technology if he had the right materials. I’m not keen on the idea of someone cutting me open and sticking metal bits inside me, that’s typically what I spend my day-to-day life avoiding. Ichibod said he knew I didn’t want to undergo surgery, but that he wanted to make a gift for me regardless, in the form of one of those tablets that Clyde had given Linda. He said it could be used to continue writing this journal, but without as much risk of damage. It might also be able to hold arcane spells or other kinds of magic that depend on written word. It would take some getting used to, but the idea is intriguing. It would certainly take less room than carrying multiple scrolls, journals, and writing supplies, with less risk of being damaged during our journeys.

I told him that it seemed like a good idea, and that I deeply appreciated the thought. Afterwards he showed me a lovely design he’d been planning for a metal flower with a clock or compass in the center for Unae, which I believe she’ll love. Ichibod expressed that he wanted to make something for every member of our group. He wanted to feel useful, and to be able to make things to benefit all of us.

For the first time I think I’ve come to appreciate just how hard Ichibod is trying. He’s foreign and seems strange to us much of the time, and until now I’d disregarded many of his actions as absurd and poorly thought out. But from how he talked to me today, all he really wants is to be our friend and to find his place in this strange world with his son. Sometimes I think he tries a little too hard, and that causes him to throw himself into things without thinking it through, but his heart is clearly in the right place.

Eventually our discussion turned to our group and this world. I told Ichibod that I would gladly answer any questions he had to the best of my ability. He deserved as much, after following us blindly for the past week.

Ichibod’s first question surprised me, he wanted to learn more about our deities. The city of Blackwell had lost virtually all knowledge of the gods under the former King Blackwell’s rule. I explained the concept of the gods to Ichibod in the most basic way I could think of. I went on to tell him more about Sarenrae, about her affiliation with the sun and about the desert land where the Dawnflower’s worship first took root. Ichibod asked if I was from the desert. Much as I would like to claim Keleshite descent, I told him that no, I’m originally from Cheliax.

Fortunately Ichibod didn’t ask for specifics of Chelaxian society, instead asking how I ended up following the Dawnflower’s path if I wasn’t from a land that worshipped her. I admitted to Ichibod that my story might sound a bit farfetched, but Ichibod pointed out that everything about our group seemed a bit fanciful at this point. I cannot disagree. As such, I told him a bit about my history. I did not go into much detail about the Dragon Raiders, although I do intent to tell Ichibod about my past before we leave for Xin’Shalast. There’s a couple of things I need to do before we head out, knowing that I’ll likely face Emmery for a final time there.

I did tell him about my time as a lone mercenary after leaving the Raiders, and about throwing myself into battle to find some semblance of purpose. Then, of course, I told him about how that life lead to my death, and how I was brought back by a celestial servant of Sarenrae. Ichibod chimed in that it reminded him of when I brought him back to life. He said that in a way my resurrecting him had given him the chance to embrace his transformation after awakening, much as I embraced a new path with Sarenrae’s blessing. I had never considered this. For me, resurrecting Ichibod had been a horrifying moment in which I held a new ally’s life in many hands, in which I was the only one who could keep that life from being cut short. From Ichibod’s perspective, however, it would seem it was an eye opening experience very similar to what I had been through.

We spoke for some time more. I told him about our fight with the giants, about Linda besting the red dragon, and our journey to the giant’s fortress. I explained to him what our group’s current goal was in Xin’Shalast, tracking down and destroying the Rune Lord Karvoug for the evil he has and will unleash on the world. I told him that each of us had a personal enemy who was likely waiting for us there. Ichibod admitted that he felt it was likely that Mary would be there. He admitted that while things had been getting cold between them for a while, what really hurt him about her betrayal was how she abandoned Timmy. This struck a chord with me, and I fear some of my anger must have shone through as I spoke. It’s cruel that she left her child alone with people he didn’t know in a world that was completely alien to him. What if she’d been wrong about us stopping in Sandpoint? What if we’d gone straight from Blackwell to Xin’Shalast? What if we hadn’t thought to stop by the Rusty Dragon to see Betsy? What if Timmy had wandered off on his own without his parents there? There were a number of things that could have gone wrong, that could have left Timmy without either of his parents, or lost where Ichibod couldn’t find him.

It’s bad enough that the boy will likely spend much of his young life wondering why his mother abandoned him and his father. Timmy seems like a smart kid. I pray that he’s smart enough to know that this was her choice and not something caused by him. I don’t know if anything can hurt a child more than believing their parent abandoned them, and questioning if it was because of them, if there’s something wrong with them that caused it…

These same thoughts crossed my mind when Ichibod spoke of Mary abandoning their son. As I said, my emotions must have gotten the better of me, because Ichibod put a hand on my shoulder and tried to comfort me. I’m a bit annoyed with myself for being such an open book in the moment. Ichibod is the one whose wife abandoned him and his child, and who was likely manipulating him for many years before then. I should have been trying to comfort him, not the other way around.

Regardless, we drifted to more pleasant subjects and stayed in his room for a bit longer before Ichibod decided he needed to go check on Timmy. He offered for me to join him, to which I agreed. I had an idle idea as we left the room, and asked Ichibod if Timmy had any animals he particularly liked so far. When asked why, I explained to Ichibod that I’d been practicing whittling and wanted to try making some small toys for Timmy and the Blackwell twins.

When I had to explain what whittling was, Ichibod suddenly began freaking out. For some reason Ichibod was under the impression that trees were sentient creatures, like animals or people. I had to explain what a plant was, but not before Ichibod managed to slip in a particularly gruesome comparison to whittling being like chopping up a person’s child. I’ve asked Ichibod to never use that particular word choice again. Ever.

Ichibod eventually seemed to understand that I wasn’t suggesting chopping up a live feeling creature, and he calmed down a bit. Before we could find a new subject matter, however, a new subject found us in the form of Elkin bursting into the demiplane with Unae. He started yelling for me in a panic and told me that “Unae’s brain is rotting”. When I finally managed to calm him down enough to form a more coherent sentence, he explained that they went to see a doctor about Unae’s strange condition that causes her to get sick around Elkin. The doctor in question claimed that Unae could be suffering from “elven dementia”, hence Elkin’s assertion that Unae’s brain was rotting.

This diagnosis didn’t sound right, and when I examined her I didn’t find anything to suggest this. I even used spells to sense poison or magic on her, just in case, but there was nothing. Ichibod insisted on trying out his “new toy” on Unae. He folded out the cube, now apparently named Nemo, and had it examine her. The machine came to the same conclusion as me, Unae is perfectly healthy. The only other cause Ichibod could think of was a curse, which sounds reasonable. I have a spell I could prepare later to attempt to remove it if it is a curse. It’s a shame I lack any magic that can identify curses to know if it’ll actually do anything, however.

We didn’t get to discuss more possibilities, however, as at the moment Linda woke up.

As you may recall, Elkin played a prank on Linda a few hours earlier, in which he put syrup in her hands while she was asleep.

Elkin heard Linda’s enraged yell and made a dash for his room. Linda came barreling up the stairs after him. She drew her axe with the intention of breaking down his door.

I warned Linda not to do it. I told her that if she tried to break down the door, I would eject her from the demiplane. She didn’t listen. So I did. Only as far as the ship, so she could reenter as she wished. I’d hoped that it would give her a moment to cool her head.

It did not. Instead she charged back into the demiplane and made a beeline for Elkin’s door. I ejected her again. This continued for maybe a good five minutes, and I don’t regret a moment of it. After the first few times I really just kept going out of curiosity for how long she would keep it up. Would she exhaust herself first, or realize that trying to force her way into the demiplane was futile and give up?

Neither apparently. She kept going without any sign of even considering giving up, until Ichibod decided to backstab me and used the same planeshift spell I’d shown him only an hour earlier to teleport Linda directly into Elkin’s room. A moment later Elkin had dashed out of his room with Linda hot on his heels. They ran outside to the pasture where we’d relocated Unae’s animal friends. There Linda tackled Elkin and began rubbing the half-day old syrup all over Elkin’s face and horns. The small muscle-bound queen tackling our towering tiefling friend to the ground and rubbing gelatinous sugar on his face was quite the sight.

Our merriment was halted for a moment by a strange sight in the pasture. Timmy was playing with the ever growing number of rabbits, and a creature we’d never seen before had joined him. It had the body of a wolf and the head of some kind of deer. The being spotted us, and bounded over to Unae. It nuzzled her gently before running to the edge of the demiplane and vanishing.

Unae came to the conclusion that the creature was the reincarnation of Lamatar Bayden and his fae lover. When Unae had returned his spirit to her, the two of them had joined together to form a new being. That was when they left behind the twin rings that now linked Unae and Elkin.

I’m glad to know the two of them found peace in the end. I wasn’t in a state of mind to go with Unae when she went to sooth the fae’s spirit, so I never really knew what happened to their spirits. It’s good to finally see the result, and know that they’re happy despite the hardships they faced.

After the moment passed, we all returned to the manor. With all of us finally together, awake, and in high spirits, Ichibod suggested we have a little party to celebrate our recent string of victories. Elkin quickly jumped on board, offering to supply us with more than enough alcohol to last the night. Unae and Ichibod vanished off to somewhere together, and I excused myself for a moment as well. Elkin was not just back to normal, but was in a better mood than I’d likely ever seen him. The others were all happy, and we’d had a great day together without anything trying to kill us or tear our group apart. I felt that in the spirit of my friends’ current joy, I needed to mend my own open wounds. There was no place for that kind of self hatred and self pity at this party.

When I returned, Elkin had brought out a number of barrels of alcohol for us. Ichibod returned with Unae. He’d used his form changing magic to dress up in a fine outfit, even exchanging his witch’s hat for a top hat. I poked fun that he was the only one dressing up, but it looked good on him, and he was clearly having a good time with the rest of us. Linda suggested some drinking games, and we all decided to join in.

Honestly, my memory is a bit hazy after that. I recall we played a game Linda called ‘never have I ever’, and I’ve done enough that the night blurred together rather early on. I think that due to the nature of the game (and the charcoal drawings we found on our faces the next day), Unae was the last one left standing. She was alos the only one who actually made it to her room for the night, the rest of us woke the next day still at the table.

I wish to end this entry on a good note. Unfortunately, we didn’t wake up in the same cheerful mood we’d gone to sleep in. As we slept, we had another vision. At least, I think it was just a vision. There was something decidedly different about this one that the visions and dream scrying we’d experienced in the past. I will document it next time.