roleplayingandpertainingto

[roleplayingandpertainingto]

every author you love has written something so terrible they screamed into a pillow. welcome to the tradition.

[roleplayingandpertainingto]

Monster love

You love a monster. Literally. And they’re doing everything they can to act human for you. But they’re not doing a great job hiding the teeth.

[roleplayingandpertainingto]

I was going to post a stupid pun involving the name of the band Imagine Dragons, but I literally just noticed that my rhyming dictionary lists "Italian" as a word that rhymes with "imagine", and it's completely displaced the original thought in my brain. Italian dragons.

[roleplayingandpertainingto]

Robot that casually claims to have a twelve-inch dick, but admits "I mean, I don't have it with me" any time it's challenged to prove it. It really does own a twelve-inch dick attachment, but never actually uses it – it has it specifically so that when it does this bit it's technically telling the truth.

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Costumed superhero whose secret identity seems to be subject to some sort of anomalous confirmation bias. It's not that you can't prove who they really are – in fact, quite the opposite: if you start digging for proof that literally anyone is really them, as long as the allegation is even remotely plausible you'll eventually start turning up credible evidence that it's true. It's unclear whether this is part of their powers, or whether it's a different thing.

[roleplayingandpertainingto]

prompt of the day . ── . ✦

❝ a person like you doesn't deserve my respect . ❞

[roleplayingandpertainingto]

Things Your Character Pretends to Be (But Isn’t, At Least Not Yet)

(Identity masks, coping roles, survival personas.)

The caretaker (but no one’s ever taken care of them).

The brave one (but they’re terrified all the time).

The flirt (because real intimacy is terrifying).

The funny one (because laughter hides the panic).

The overachiever (but they feel like a fraud).

The chill one (but they’re screaming inside).

The leader (but they never wanted the spotlight).

The rebel (but they just want to belong).

The calm one (but their thoughts race nonstop).

The loyal one (even when people don’t deserve it).

The loner (but they’re starving for connection).

The tough one (but they’ve never been allowed to cry).

The problem-solver (but can’t fix their own mess).

The grounded one (but they feel completely lost).

The logical one (because feeling has always gotten them hurt).

The “together” one (but they’re falling apart in secret).

The “nice” one (but they’re boiling with resentment).

The free spirit (but they crave structure).

The peacemaker (but they never say what they need).

The heartbreaker (but they’re terrified of being left first).

[roleplayingandpertainingto]

Saved by the stranger

The mysterious stranger who saved your life keeps "accidentally" running into you at coffee shops, grocery stores, and your bedroom at 3 AM.

[roleplayingandpertainingto]

I love posts that try to frame a particular kink or sex act as weird and gross by comparing it to something the author clearly doesn't realise is also a fairly common kink or sex act. I just saw one that was like "handjobs are stupid, it's literally just assisted jerking off – do you want me to hold your dick for you while you pee, too?", and I guarantee you there's somebody reading that post right now who's like "well".

[roleplayingandpertainingto]

A universe where no one is ever allergic to anything.

[roleplayingandpertainingto]

Fantasy setting with magic neatly organised into elemental spheres, except each magic-using culture disagrees with all the others about what the primordial elements are, what their associations and correspondences are, and even how many of them there are. Spells always interact with other spells from the same magic system as though its elemental theory is complete, consistent, and correct, but when spells from two different magic systems come into contact it all goes a bit sideways, often in ways that require flowcharts to explain. Like, you think Ground Type vs. Rock Type is bad? There are five separate, mutually exclusive spheres of magic all called "Fire". The Sylvan Confederacy's "Water" magic explodes on contact with the Empire of the Five Pillars' "Water" magic and nobody knows why.

[roleplayingandpertainingto]

Bad thoughts

Lyrics from Bad Thoughts by bbno$ gently modified into starters

"Baby no compliments, every man for himself."

"I'm tryna get my money, yeah, I'm really 'bout my wealth."

"Pull up swingin' on me?!"

"Can't you see I'm black belt?"

"Wonder why I be the only rapper 'bout my health."

"If I'm not grinding might as well put me in hell."

"labels chasing me 'cause I deactivate the stealth."

"Fuckin' hated school."

"I was saved by the bell."

"I ain't so different from you, yeah, why can't you tell?"

"Cash in, cash out, consider it dealth."

"Do this for myself, I ain't do it fro the clout."

"Never copy lanes, yeah, I took another route."

"Always cause 'grains, never shared a bit of doubt."

"Fill my cup, and I watch you talk shit."

"I've never been a bitch."

"Be my guest, go burn your own bridge."

"I'm cold enough, don't need a new fridge."

"Seems like every song you drop is a miss."

"Drip too much, hydrolysis."

"Really 'bout the cheese."

"Get my mom a brand new whip, I'm proud of the gift."

"Pink-yellow piece of plastic all up on my hip."

"12 years later, you gon' show me to the kids."

"I knwo my music's timeless, I don't even need to risk."

"Once I'm super rich I'll post with diamons on the bed."

"Finally got some property, cop the boardwalk."

"Got some money but I still check a price tag."

"Won't relax, no slack, hit a jackbox."

"All I got is bad thoughts."

"I gotta make sure they don't break me."

[roleplayingandpertainingto]

It's wild how "women are reading frivolous and immoral novels that are rotting their brains" is such an evergreen moral panic. You'd think we'd have figured this one out by now.

[roleplayingandpertainingto]

Funniest thing that happened to me recently was that i went to an event advertised as a 'sapphic social', and immediately upon arriving began hovering around the outskirts of the gathering with my Terminator-style HUD pulled up trying to scientifically analyze the situation and devise a plausibly-deniable excuse to weasel my way into an existing conversational group - for example, perhaps, "Is it ok if I put my bag here?" Yes, good, yes, incredibly normal, and almost impossible to be read as intrusive or presumptive or rude - until someone literally just walked up to me and said "Hi!". And i was like. oh my god. My god, it's that easy. It's a Social Event. The aim is to Be Social. You can just walk up to someone and say "Hi!", and they don't put you in jail or anything. Unbelievable

[roleplayingandpertainingto]

it is weird that celiac stuff has become part of the 'culture war'. because it's literally just a medical thing.... I get super anemic unless I cut a certain protein out of my diet, because it bulldozes the villi in my intestines. but if I post about it, right-wingers send me gore images. I guess you can't expect shitty people to be logical, but I've even heard lefty people make fun of gluten stuff, and it's like why are you mad about this??? why are you pissed off that I'm eating bread that doesn't taste as good so that I can have blood in my body? it's so morally neutral.

[roleplayingandpertainingto]

Screw Lovecraft, i have never read anything as existentially terrifying as Victor Hugo describing an octopus

[roleplayingandpertainingto]

don’t jokeship with me because 2 hours later i’ll have feels for the pairing.